Chapter 105 - Disappointment II

Aster went back to him room, he ordered the servant to summon Ramuja. Not long after, he heard his door was knocked and opened. Ramuja stood nervously and walked slowly to Aster. He kneeled deep before opening his mouth, "T—This servant—"

"Slave." Aster replied coldly. Ramuja swallowed his saliva, he didn't expect Young Lord to be calling him a slave again.

"T—This slave heeds to Young Lord's summon," Ramuja said. He tried to raise his head, but he heard Young Lord interrupted him again harshly.

"Don't you dare to raise your head," Aster ordered.

Ramuja stayed in his position, kneeling deep with his face almost touched the ground. Aster stared down to his servant, his golden circle shrunk, making his eyes pure blue. He could've just killed this servant right now, but deep down, he didn't want to. Thus, Aster tried to find a reason not to punish Ramuja, and also lifting the weight in his heart.

"Tell me, where had you been yesterday?"

"T—this slave… uh… is working with other servants during the banquet, Young Lord," Ramuja said.

"What kind of work? If I remember correctly, I've already assigned every servant their portion of work, there shouldn't be any job for you during the banquet," Aster said. His eyes were cold, but if one inspected carefully, his eyes showed sorrow.

"T—this slave… helped Merry to prepare for her performance, Young Lord," Ramuja tried to dodge the question, "Pardon this slave for being late today, this slave had to help other servants to send Merry and her band out."

Ramuja might not realize it, but he just rubbed the salt to Aster's injury. He clenched his hand, trying to stay calm, "I remember that I already put all what Merry needed before the banquet started. I even assigned two servants to take care of her need during the banquet, was that not enough? I will call those two servants and punish them severely for not doing their job," Aster said.

Ramuja panicked, "T—This slave v—volunteer to help Merry, Young Lord. It has nothing to do with other servants!"

Aster was holding his anger. He took a deep breath and asked Ramuja, "What is your relationship with Merry? Tell me truthfully!"

Ramuja's breath tightened, he gulped. He dared not raising his head, but he imagined that Young Lord had a large sword in his hand, ready to decapitated him if he told the truth about their relationship.

"Y—Young Lord, this slave sees Merry as my little sister, this slave… um… dared not stepping too far…" Ramuja replied. "This slave is and will always be loyal to Young Lord!" he added.

'Funny, how easy you said that. Didn't you know when something was being told confidently, it just adds more doubt.' Aster chuckled. Sarcastic chuckle. He mocked his own stupidity.

Deep down, Aster knew that something was fishy. He realized that Ramuja and Merry's relationship wasn't that simple. He wanted to confront Ramuja right now, but he was too afraid if his prediction was true.

'I believe that you are always with me.'

'Because you said you love me.'

'That's why, I believe you more than my mind…'

Aster took another deep breath. But this one, there was no anger. It was more of a disappointment. He wasn't sure if trusting Ramuja was the right choice. But he

"I believe you…" Aster said. He tapped the floor with his shoes. "But I will keep an eye on you."

"… yes, Young Lord." Ramuja said. The guilt in his heart was too heavy, he tried hard to sound convincing, it seemed that Young Lord was convinced. But he couldn't push his luck like this.

He wasn't lying, because he really did see Merry as his little sister.

'I'm sorry I have to lie, Young Lord. But I don't want to break your heart…'

"Raise your head," Aster ordered. Ramuja raised his head slowly, facing his Young Lord's mesmerizing appearance, but was stunned when he saw dark eyebags under Young Lord's eye.

Ramuja was panicked immediately, "Oh my god! Young Lord, what made you sleepless?!"

Ramuja went outside and took basin full of warm water with soft wipe. He returned with two basins, one for Aster's face and one for his feet. Ramuja put the basin near Young Lord's feet carefully and he tried to open Aster's shoes to wash his feet as usual.

Aster was unresponsive the whole time, his eyes were still cold because he tried to brush off this strange jealousy inside his heart.

'Ramuja treats her as sibling, why should I be jealous…'

Aster chanted the same reason again and again in his head. But when he felt someone was touching his ankle, the collection of bad memories from last night suddenly invaded his mind and his body reacted wildly. Aster's feet reacted and kicked Ramuja's chin and his other feet kicked the basin and it fell on Ramuja.

Ramuja fell backward from the kick, mostly due to shock. His body was soaking wet because Young Lord used his feet to kick his chin and the basin. Ramuja stared dumbly. He recovered from the fall and prostrated in front of his master.

Aster's breath shortened, he didn't mean to hurt Ramuja. But his body immediately reacted when it was touched. Ramuja was prostrating, trembling pitifully with his big body.

Aster gulped, "Ramuja, I didn't mean—"

"Young Lord, this slave is sorry…" Ramuja said slowly.

Aster paused. He stared down on Ramuja who was still trembling. "What are you talking about?" Aster asked.

"This slave… is sorry…" Ramuja repeated.

"What do you mean? Answer me!" Aster lost his patience, he had a bad hunch, but he tried to brush off that thought again.

"This slave… this slave… was not telling the truth…"

"What truth? I said, tell me everything!" Aster ordered fiercely. He was going to kick Ramuja's head, but he stopped abruptly.

Aster gritted his teeth. Ramuja fell silent. His body trembled even more, but in the end, he just shook his head slowly, still in prostrating position.

"GODDAMN!" Aster roared. He stood up and ordered, "Raise your head!"

Ramuja raised his head slowly, above him, Young Lord Aster was standing fiercely, looking down on him with his black pupil. There was a pool of anger in his eyes, but Ramuja saw that Young Lord was also disappointed.

"Tell me, tell me the truth!"

'I can't, I… I don't want him to hurt Merry and her family if he knows the truth…'

'Because he said Merry is his friend, Young Lord's only friend…'

'I don't want him to get hurt even more…'

'Young Lord, will you kill me after this?'

Aster was frustrated, this was the first time he saw a slave that was so stubborn, "Do you know the consequence of defying my order?" Aster said harshly.

Ramuja paused, then nodded slowly.

"And you are still not going tell me about your lie?"

Ramuja shook his head slowly and firmly.

Aster's c.h.e.s.t was so stuffy that he turned his back immediately. He ordered in low tone, "Leave."

"Young Lord, this slave—"

"LEAVE!"

Ramuja stood up and left the room silently. Aster turned his back on Ramuja because he was holding his tear. When he heard the door was closed. His tears streamed down on his cheeks.

'He didn't even want to tell me the truth, was he protecting someone?'

'But why? He dared risking his life to protect this person.'

Aster was gripping his c.h.e.s.t tightly. Because it felt so stuffy that he almost couldn't breathe. He sobbed low, because he didn't want the guards outside knew that their Young Lord cried over trivial thing. He had a bad hunch, but he kept denying it over and over. Even if it was probably the truth.

'No, it wasn't that. Ramuja wouldn't betray me. He is in love with me…'

'It must be because of different matter. Probably he didn't want me to be stressed out, right?'

Aster shook his head. As he made up the excuses in his mind, he was able to cover his bad premonition with positive thought about Ramuja.

But sometimes, the bad slipped out and he sobbed a little.

'Ramuja, why did you lie?'