Chapter 114 - Weaknesses

I stood outside the meeting room.

I looked at the walls of the meticulously decorated walls of the embassy. I saw none of the splendid decors, though. My anger was burning like a furnace that could melt iron bars into steel. I almost felt my skin turning red with the pure rage I felt. This anger helped no one when I wanted access to my children in the future.

I wasn't a good father, and that was something that I knew. I helped take care of them with the family's gold. I never felt right about this fact, though, and the pain of those thoughts fueled this anger to burn even brighter. I could feel a howl of rage burning in my throat as I desperately wanted an outlet to throw my anger.

My thoughts settled on the previous ambassador and found that maybe later, I would have someone to release my frustrations on. The idea sent a shiver through me as I thought of torturing someone. It was the thought that seemed to slow the flow of my anger. It began to cool as I realized that I was willing to lash out at anything at this moment just to let it out.

I was a diplomat, though. These negotiations meant too much, and I was risking too much with this anger. One thing I said in there was perfectly correct, though. The Queen could do whatever she wanted when it came to my children. I could do nothing since my nation would require me to sacrifice in order to save more lives in the upcoming war.

I bit back a curse as the true thought went through my mind. My responsibilities continued to get in the way of my ability to be a father. It cut into my heart like a sharp needle. All those years ago, as I went around impregnating women without thought bit me harder than I ever thought it would. Each child that was out there would take a part of my thoughts. Now I was increasing that number without learning anything from my previous mistakes.

My children were even entering the negotiation tables now as I had to fight for them. I felt like I was about to enter a custody battle back in my old world. Only here, there was no child support. The last thought made me give a dry chuckle, and I moved to the side before leaning against the wall.

My anger seemed to cool down as the random thoughts entered my mind. The small memories I have of my children flooded my mind. I remember the time I forced into my schedule to spend time with them. Their cute smiles with silver hair surrounding their faces almost haunted me. It was for them that I was here right now; I was securing my position as Heir of Silvermoon tower. I wanted to give them the best position and future possibilities. It was painful, though, that I couldn't see them.

I loved research, but I missed their faces and smiles. Their mothers with caring looks towards them as they talked about their toys. It was something that I only had snippets of. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of them with the little number of memories I had. The pain hit my heart as I thought of each child I had interacted with. The tears streamed down my face, and I wiped them away, letting them enter my silver fur.

I let the memories roll through my mind like I hadn't let them happen in a while. The pain was there, but so was that happiness. When I came back, my little girls would all be older and so much smarter. How would they react to their absent father? Would they be like I was cold and detached? He was never in my life at one point until I was in my twenties. Our conversation was stern and to the point.

With every fiber of my being, I didn't want that to happen. My father provided the best he could for me with cold calculation. My race was superior to my brothers and sisters. When I created too many mistakes on my journey, creating potential problems at home, that position came under question. My father was that cold, calculating type that I believe was incompetent. No, not incompetent. He simply didn't care for those outside his own thoughts. This was worse, in my opinion, as the Bunny-kin had much potential.

My random thoughts led to an end with that, and I found my a.s.s on the floor. My mana surged, and I cleaned up my body from the mess I made of myself. The tears dispersed into the atmosphere. My composition came back as the reasons for why I was hurting myself came back into focus. The very things that were paining me now were also the reasons I stood strong. I needed to remain strong for them without breaking under pressure.

My spine straightened out, and I no longer felt like I was about to snap. My anger was still there like a slow flickering flame. No breeze would blow it out, but it was now manageable. I needed a couple of extra minutes to regroup, though I had no plan even though I was composed. Queen Mira was an intelligent illusionist wizard. She didn't get there by being an idiot. Instead, it was through many years of study and experience and that special something that helped you breakthrough.

More time was needed to compose myself as well while I came up with a plan of action. The negotiations over the potion were not even in my head as I thought of ways to regain access to my children. What race they would come out didn't matter to me as I thought of all the succubi women I i.m.p.r.e.g.n.a.t.ed. It was yet another irresponsible thing I did, and I had to accept that.

It was something I realized that I found very hard to control myself when it came to s.e.x. I knew it from when I initially left on that journey years ago. I was easy to seduce... no, it was worse than that. I thought more with my c.o.c.k when b.r.e.a.s.ts came in front of me. It was my entertainment outside of research. It was a hobby to e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e in as many women as I could, and the Succubi are more than happy about it. There was nothing said in our negotiations that said I had to let them seduce me. Instead, I happily let them do it without even thinking for a moment that this would happen.

I realized that I might have inherited something from my father here in this world. It was the utter lack of regard for things that I don't think about. All these thoughts, though, were distractions from what I need to be thinking about.

As I was thinking about it, something hit the back of my mind making me pause. This was something of a risk, and it might affect my plans in the long term, both positive and negative. It would take a couple of years to put in effect as well. It would be better than nothing, and only one other person knew about my thoughts on this plan.

It was something I could even try and get the race of Succubi to join in on. If I could, it would solve many of my problems, and I might even entice the Illusion tower to make a subdivision in the Beast-kin nation. It was not even a gamble as I had nothing to lose at this point. My kids were in her hands, and I had to convince her to move the women with my kids to move. The only way was to make it better opportunities. That wouldn't happen in Silvermoon tower, though. Even if I was to become the Master of the Silvermoon tower, only one child could become the next heir. That child would have to be a Bunny-kin child as well.

If they follow the trends that I had been seeing among my children, the Succubi women would be silver-scaled succubi with d.i.c.ks. This would be interesting on their own, and I wasn't sure how the race of women would react to that new element among their people. This only increased my thinking speed as I thought illusion wizardry was something out of my comprehension. It was sad to say, but I didn't understand how they used mana in the way they did. In a way, I lucked out when it came to the Bunny-kin specialty of general wizardry. The humans had it too, but they tended to specialize before they became B rank. That was at least by the books I read about it.

My mind settled in on the crux of the problem of getting the women to move to my nation before I even had time to set up what I wanted. It would take some convincing. My thoughts came to the point that I remembered that I easily i.m.p.r.e.g.n.a.t.ed succubi taking even them by surprise. If I used this to my advantage, I had a greater bargaining position if I decided to be ruthless enough.

The thought also sent a chill down my spine. Was I willing to use myself and create more of what I was fighting for to grant me access to all of my children?

It was a spine-chilling move for me to make. I wanted access to all my kids, and it would also increase the strength of my nation if I pulled this off successfully. It would increase my personal power as well in the long run. Still, the thought of how ruthless it was in a way sent shivers down my spine.

But, now, the thought was in my head, and I continued to think of better solutions to my current problems. Nothing came to my mind as I thought it over. The idea seemed to bump everything else out of the way as it worked its way into every crevice of my mind. In every plan I could think of, it would be mostly positive for everything but my mental health concerning my women and children. I think the only ones to suffer would be the potential children that had a mostly absent father and me.

If the plan I had thought of worked out correctly, I could even raise my kids on my own terms. It would be with my gold and territory too. The thought destroyed every other possibility that came to my mind and turned.

I wasn't any martyr like I was in my previous life. Even others could argue if I even was a martyr. That didn't matter, though, and I wanted to live this life with no regrets. I opened that door, walking back into the meeting room under the surprised gazes of the women inside. Tammy had returned to their couch looking downcast, but I couldn't care. I was there with the next offer that I believed would change everything.

"I have a proposal, Queen Mira," I said into the silence.

The attractive scaled woman leaned back, staring back into my firm eyes, "Oh, and what will that be?" Mira asked back curiously.

"I plan on making a multi-species school in the near future." I began, "It will be a new city where all species can come together and learn. It will be an institution from as many schools of thought I can bring together as possible. I want to invite your tower to join us in that pursuit of more knowledge with my women and children accompanying you." I continued without regard for the surprise on her face. "Your tower will not be the only wizard tower I will be inviting. I will also be bringing Silvermoon tower into the fold to teach as many different forms of using mana as possible. I want to bring agility rage and more forms of mana that I don't seem to understand. I want it to become a research center to the truth of mana and the world around us. I want to recruit from all around the world in the end." My eyes were focused on something in the distance, "I want my people educated so I can send the best and brightest minds to this place to learn. Most of all, I want my children there so when I have time, I can see their smiles. Their happy expressions as I try to give them the best life I can give them."

My attention turned back to the Queen that looked surprised at my new offer. Instead of being surprised, I looked into her eyes sharp to the point, "I am even willing to i.m.p.r.e.g.n.a.t.e more women in your tower to help with your current lack of children problem to do it." My words almost seemed to echo in the room. Mira's astonishment grew as I said one last thing, "Every s.u.c.c.u.b.u.s I do i.m.p.r.e.g.n.a.t.e though must come to this new school to raise my children, though."

Queen Mira finally seemed to leave her stunned status at the new proposal. I could practically see the gears turning in her head as It did so. The change in my demeanor was out of her mind as she considered the offer on the table. I had no idea how she would react to it, though. I didn't know the pressures that she was under inside her tower or the restraints that might be going on in the background.

That lost thought forced me yet again to hold back a large pile of curses to the previous Ambassadors that left me no information on recent events here in the demon lands. Still, I continued to sit still while the Queen in front of me thought over what I said.

"I find your offer very interesting," She said into the silence, and I could now see Se Mon saying something into her ear. I found if I tried to hear over there, even with mana enhancement, something was in the way. I immediately gave up on trying to listen in on those hushed words.

I waited for them to talk, and Mira relaxed back as did Se Mon. Tammy, though seemed discontent that she never got what she wanted when she came. My expression was just as serious though not allowing for anything else to continue. The cold demeanor with my serious expression showed that concessions would have to be made if the warm atmosphere wanted to return.

"I need to think this over, Ambassador Chelsea," Mira said slowly. Her expression was with a slight smile. "I also think that you have not even started this so-called school that you want to create. That only decreases your ability to negotiate with something that doesn't exist. Still, the thought of being a part of a center like this for our Tower is interesting. If you want us to release some of our knowledge, we want knowledge in return. Or access to the research that is produced by such an organization that you are speaking of." I was forced to nod at that.

"Let me be frank with you, Mira," I said, warming up as she took my proposal seriously, "I never wanted to let knowledge out about the place I wish to build. I only have told one other wealthy investor while I needed funds. I then realized recently I could provide a substantial investment on my own." That was something I said with a self-deprecating smile. "Still, I say this with a couple of things in mind. Regardless of your tower joining me or not in the future on this endeavor, I will be doing it. This will also increase my personal power in the end if it does succeed, or anyone and organization that joins me. I only bring you this offer since I was less than prudent with s.e.x.u.a.l activities, regardless of the fact that it has continued to be a personal weakness of my own. I bring you this offer also to bring you closer to my people. This is also to give all of my children the best future I can give to them so they may choose where their life takes them without anyone else commanding them." My tone was firm making the Queen return to her thoughts.

She spoke minutes later with a nod, "Alright. I cannot make a decision on my own in this matter. IF you do make this school of yours, it sounds that it would be a risky investment with potentially large power dividends to be paid out. I will seek the counsel of other Queens to see their opinions. Regardless of that fact, I will see your children are well cared for even if we do not join you in this endeavor. I say this to reassure you that our people will always be well cared for. As will their children. But, I will be discussing with the potential mothers what they wish to. Your other added offer is intriguing, but again I will not make this large decision on my own." The Queen stood, and Tammy stood with her as did Se Mon. "We shall speak soon, Ambassador Chelsea; I hope to find that not all will be as so..." The queen paused to think of the word, "Dramatic as we reached today."

With that, they left together, and my lips tightened. That flicker of anger grew as they left the room. I immediately stood and flipped the coffee table in front of me as the door closed. My fist smashed the tabled, breaking it in half. My anger needed the outlet, and my hands and feet started to smash the furniture into smaller bits as I let loose. The pain was solely in my heart as I stood amidst a smashed room without a trace of regret and sighed.

My gaze landed upon her, and I took a deep breath. "I am glad you hired a clean-up team," I remarked dryly.

"Are you okay?" Alexia asked softly.

"Honestly," I said, cupping her face, before shaking my head, "No, I am not okay," I told her. "Will I survive?" I asked myself with a wry smile, "Yes, I will. I will see in the future how happy I will be doing that," My vision misted only for a second with the thoughts of my children somehow in my vision. I ruthlessly closed that thought off, though, and my vision turned clear, "I need to see that f.u.c.k.i.n.g trash ex-Ambassador now." I said, my tone making it an order.

Alexia nodded, "This way, Although, please don't smash him like the room you just left." Alexia said with a warming smile.

I snorted in slight amus.e.m.e.nt, "No promises," I replied as we walked down the hallway.