75 Striving Forward

I wasn't happy with them for letting it happen, but I understand my mother did the smart thing, and after she found out what was happening, advised them. I took a deep breath that everyone watched. I looked to my mother, who was sitting there looking like a guilty child. I raised an eyebrow at her while locking eyes.

"Well, That conversation with my father could have gone somewhere. What I have learned is that father is an idiot while not being one. It is quite an interesting predicament. I might have even inherited some of that arrogance." I smiled self deprecatingly, "Well..." I sighed again, "Mother, How long till I need to leave to the Demon lands? How many meetings do I need to attend as well to get the layout off the land?" My tone had changed. I no longer sounded angry.

I resolved myself not to bask in sorrow. My kids would become tools for an idiot if I didn't do something. I solidified myself and hardened my heart for the coming future. I needed time, and I had very little of it. My mother looked at me with a questioning gaze. "Five months for the departure to the Demon lands. The meetings can be taken care of by myself and Emily if necessary."

"Good, I will be handling some things then. I will be in meditation. Only Emily, Mally, Kate, Tina, Rose, Asahi, Trisha, Betsy, Hina, my mother, and Susie's mother can enter this room. Emily, I will need you to bring me food. I will be entering a long meditative cycle. I need to become a B-Rank Wizard soon to make my voice heard. I need to break the Barrier. I will miss my kids, but I need to do this for them." My heart hurt, saying that, but I solidified my heart. "Each day, to practice my concentration and control my sexual urges, I will need you to come in and fuck yourself upon doorknocker. I will also be practicing martial arts while trying to meditate. If I am in this cycle, Wait for me to finish before starting with me. Please excuse my neglect in the coming months." When I looked at my women, they were sadly smiling.

I walked into the room and started to enchant it quickly. I added in protection enchantments to stop people I told to stay out from being able to enter. I finished within five minutes. I turned to them and wryly smiled. "Now..." with that, I sat down in the middle of the room.

I took a deep breath and started to center myself into the work of mana. The world and its unique properties started to show itself. I dove deeper and deeper. I lost myself in the world of mana. I could vaguely feel things happening to my body. I felt pleasure happening, but I lost myself in the mysteries quickly. I knew not the time or what was happening as I delved deeper gather collecting compressing, and understanding mana.

My mana grew, and I felt it start to hit a wall. I had no idea how long it had been, and I didn't surface to know. I felt the barrier and decided instead of increasing my mana more; I would spend more time understanding it. My body would continue to move, as I felt pleasure sometimes. Whenever I didn't, I would try to split my mind to train both mana and muscle memory. I would move it according to my previous training in my past life. It was something I had neglected in this life so far. Muscle memory needed to be trained before usage. This was a crude way of doing it, and I would need to correct it later, but it was practicing my concentration simultaneously.

My world was mana, and I never left, losing myself to this world even more. I was at a blockade with mana growth. I wasn't wasting my time, though. I understood more things about mana in its secrets and how much mana wastage I had been doing. I started to research in my mind different ways of gathering in my body. One day who knew when I found I started the second gathering of mana. Soon my mana pool started to grow. With my first mana pool, this grew faster, and I compressed it faster. The first was around the pit of my stomach. The second gathering centered around my heart. It grew quickly as I compressed it. I felt stronger and stronger as it grew.

I felt it grow and grow. Soon it hit the ceiling and wouldn't grow any longer. It reached the same stranglehold. I tried creating a third mana pool. I came up empty as it would not compress or hold and pass out of my body. This made me curious why the first and second could stay. I tried various places in my body. I then tried my brain. I was shocked when I found it worked. Soon I was gathering mana in my head. More time was spent, but that mana pool grew even faster. Mana started to enter on its own when it was close to that ceiling.

Soon it hit that ceiling. I felt so full of mana. I couldn't get why I couldn't get farther. I grew annoyed, and I attempted something, both brilliant and foolish. I took all my mana pools. I smashed them together. It worked, and my body felt pain all over. I let out a scream, and I knew there were frantic cries all around.

It was like I created a sea all-around in my body of integrated mana. This was my mana, and it went to all parts of my body, trying to find space to escape. In my scream, I still had complete control of all those compressed mana particles. I started to turn them. I spun them faster and faster. I then made it spin so fast that it grew momentum of its own as if I cast a spell on it. Then it was like a gravity well grew. The mana started to get sucked in. It created a whirlpool as more and more mana started to get sucked into it. All that mana causing me pain slowly retreated to where I made this Mana whirlpool. I put the Whirlpool over my heart, and my blood started to move faster as mana gathered to it.

Soon the Mana was almost finished gathering into my mana whirlpool. When It all gathered into it, I pleasurable feeling entered into me, and I felt it throughout my body. It was like all my cells woke up and screamed in joy. I felt an ejaculation roll through me, and for the first time in who knows how long, I opened my eyes.

I opened my eyes to many of my mother looking at me in shock. I looked up and saw sperm on the roof. I shrugged and stood up. My body was in good shape still, and I felt the world was different around me. I had no idea what it was, though. I looked at things, and they just seemed different. "How long did I meditate?" I asked, my voice raspy from inactivity.

My mother stared at me with a shocked face, "Three months..." She turned to me, looking me over. "What did you do to yourself? Your mana pool feels massive... But your not a B-rank Wizard?" She looked me over, and I turned to her, surprised myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, I can feel the massive mana pool you have amassed. But reaching B-rank isn't about the size of your mana pool. It is almost like specializing at this point. I am a Lightning specialist. When I am using these spells, I am vastly more powerful. This is different from Purists like your little Susie. No, when they purify their mana, it takes even more elemental purification until it is like for a Fire purist that they have Fire flowing in their veins. For us, it isn't even purifying. It is an understanding of that element. Pure wizards seek versatility and power. Your mana pool is massive, and I can feel mana gravitate towards you. But even if you have a mana pool that beats many B-rank wizards, you fall short of being one. No, you don't understand something to the point of breaking the constraints on that element."

"Mother, Half of what you said was jumping from one thought to the next. But I think I get it. I need to become enlightened on an element. Till I understand it to the point, it makes the most sense. I can understand its tiniest details instinctively."

"Yes, it is incredibly hard to pull off." She lamented.

"I don't think even you understand thunder to its tiniest details, mother. No, I think I will breakthrough when my understanding reaches a certain point. I also feel a flavor to my mana that I had when I was in the Elven Forestry." I thought about it when I moved through that void inexplicably. I understood it then. It made sense to me, and I lost it. I was going to seek it out this time, and I sat back down.

"Chelsea, What are you doing?" She asked.

"I have two months. I will stop then, or I will breakthrough. One will happen before the other." I stated, and I relaxed my mind closing my mind to the rest of the world.

This time I decided to try and emulate what happened in the Elven Forestry. Just nothing but understanding left. The world emptied, and instead of pondering the mysteries of mana, I relaxed. I was nothing. My kids didn't matter. My women didn't matter. My life didn't matter. My previous life didn't matter. I thought nothing and stayed there. I don't know how long I sat there when my mind naturally went to that flavor. My mind guided itself to that feeling that taste or flavor. It sat there, and thoughts of what keeps the world together came to me.

My mind followed random thoughts as I gave up control over it. I relaxed, utterly, not allowing any thoughts to take command. Soon my mind fell upon the quantum mechanics involved in folding space. It was something long theorized. That didn't feel right, though, and my mind moved again. Then something snapped. My mind spun, and my mind landed at a thought never deemed before to me. The void attaches everything in this world. Reality is superimposed by it. The reality was the paint and the Void the canvas. It didn't make reality not true. Just the void is attached to it. I had heard even about dimensions before. Even though the Carriage was larger than it appeared on the outside, if reality is the paint, I can go into the void to get there faster. Why walk in the paint that is reality when the void is where things exist upon. This was filled with holes in my theory. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me—Articulating what I actually thought was difficult. I would never be able to put it to words on paper, my full understanding of it either.

I stood again, my muscles this time straining. I reached out, forgetting the paint of this world. Mana surged around me, and I stepped forward into the black. The world turned black with a hole into reality. I moved forward more, realizing my mana was draining at what would be used to be considered an alarming rate. I cared little at this point as I looked forward to the darkness and used a hand to rip open the void back to reality. On this side, I saw Mally looking at me with glee. I stepped forward back to reality. I looked back, and the holes, in reality, came together, fixing itself automatically.

I smiled, with Mally gleefully looking at me. I looked around, seeing my surroundings more, and see my kids looking at me in shock. I looked down, noticing I'm naked, but I couldn't care less at this moment. My feet moved forward, and I hugged Mally.

"I STEPPED THROUGH THE VOID!" I yelled in happiness. I ran forward, hugged, and kissed Mally. Mally was happy for me and wrapped her arms around me. I then smiled at her, "Gimme a sec. I will be right back!" I gleefully said to her surprise and tore reality and walked through opening another back to my room. My clothes laid on the bed cleaned with a note saying, "For when your done meditation, Yours, Emily," I smiled and put it on. I tore reality back and rejoined Mally.

Mally was astonished by how I destroyed reality in my movement. I could explain the concepts but not the mechanics. It was like a new knowledge of how to do it was in my brain. It wasn't quite like the system, but it was like I stumbled into a thought path that appeared to be true. My mind was filled with the euphoria of an accomplishment. My kids started to yell out happily, too, joining us in celebration. More of my kid's mother started to join in, and I started to play and cheer with my kids, who didn't really understand why I was so happy. They were happy that I was there and celebrating with them, though. This made guild twinge a bit, but I suppressed it as I celebrated with some of my family.