492 Reborn

Gus stared at her face, trying to figure out what was going on with Katherine. Briefly glancing from side to side to check their surroundings, he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him towards an alley away from the possibility of getting seen by the guards who were standing outside of Castle. "What's going on with you?" he asked, his eyes becoming vigilant as he continued to study her.

He was still holding her hand when she sighed and leaned against the dirty wall of the alley. He thought of giving her hand a squeeze but she withdrew it casually before he could do so and put her hands inside her jeans pocket. She was wearing her usual outfit when she's not on a mission—a shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

"Promise me?" she asked. 

He lightly nodded and listened when she began, "Have you ever hesitated to kill? Or you know… finish a mission because you feel like what you're doing isn't right?"

"First times of certain missions have always been hard…" he responded, keeping his gaze locked at her.

"I'm not talking about that. I mean… Don't you ever question at all? Don't you feel tired of all this?"

Her question got him. They never talk about stuff like this at all. Aside from the fact that they were never to question orders, they just avoid talking about these things with anyone in Shadow. This was a dangerous topic to talk about and he didn't know how to respond to her. He feared that if they keep talking about it, everything would change—and it will affect them as an agent. And a change of heart in Shadow was like asking for a bullet in the head. 

Was he willing to take that bullet?

Gus had to ask himself that question. Recalling their mission earlier, he thought about the time when she was distracted. They were in Syria chasing after a terrorist group and they had to ambush a hideout. Their mission was to do a total wipeout which meant to kill everyone inside—no exceptions.

It wasn't their first mission like this. They had done a few similar ones in other countries. However, he couldn't tell what happened to Katherine during the operation. She just stood with her gun pointed at a woman's head—possibly one of the wives of the men in the hideout. He called her to snap her out of her daze and right after, Chris came to her side, killing off the woman on the ground.

"Is this about the mission earlier?" he probed.

She looked hesitant at first, but she seemed to have decided that she would open up just a little. "Honestly… not just that one. I've been feeling a little off lately. Is there such a thing as too many kills?" She chuckled as if she found her own question laughable. "How can this be our normal?"

"You can't talk about this to anyone else," said Gus. "Even Chris."

"I don't tell him everything."

"What?" She snapped her head to him.

"If you can choose to go anywhere but here, where do you want to be?"

"Like a vacation? Or you mean…"

Gus gave her a look. He didn't want to say it out loud—he didn't mean for a vacation only, and it seemed as if she understood what his look meant because she nodded and faced forward again.

Sighing, she answered with a smile on her face, "I want to be somewhere cold but not too cold. Where there are mountains… but also a beach nearby. Where it can snow… but can also be hot at times. Somewhere... just someplace where I can be who I want to be." Then she glanced sideways. "You?"

"It seems like you're looking for a perfect place. Does that exist?" They both chuckled. "For me… Honestly? I want to be far away. Someplace where no one knows who I am… or what I do. Maybe that way I can be reborn."

The two looked at each other in the eyes. They didn't have to say it out loud, but it appeared as though they were thinking of the same thing. Both of them wanted freedom. To be anywhere but here. To be someplace where there was no Shadow.

The atmosphere was quiet apart from the usual traffic noise on the road until they heard shuffling approaching their direction. It didn't sound like the normal walk—it sounded as if the person was trying to be careful with his steps.

Katherine and Gus exchanged looks, their expressions turning serious and ready for combat. Lowering to the ground, they waited for the person to come nearer. Raising a hand, Gus counted down with his fingers—three, two, one—and the two lunged towards the shadow and grabbed the man.

"Ahh!!!" Styles screamed in fright. The bubble tea shook in his hand, the liquid sloshing everywhere. 

"What the—Styles?" Katherine frowned and scoffed. They released him right away.

Gus shook his head. "What the hell were you doing?"

Styles clicked his tongue and fixed his eyeglasses that had gotten crooked because of them. Taking out a handkerchief from his pocket, he responded, "What do you mean what am I doing? I should ask you two that! What are you two doing here? You both look so suspicious hiding in the dark… Don't tell me you two had started dating?"

Katherine and Gus instinctively stepped away from each other and coughed.

"What are you all doing here?" Chris suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Why am I not called to this meeting?" He raised his head and arched a brow at them as he pocketed his phone. He was dressed in a suit without a tie like he always does.

The three looked at each other and Gus caught Katherine stare a little too long at Chris.

"You hungry?" Chris asked, but he was looking at Katherine more than the two men. Then, he checked his watch and said, "Let's go eat. We had a long day. I'll take you all out for drinks after."

The other three cheered, knowing that if Chris was going to foot the bill, they would surely not hold back ordering the good stuff.

She flung an arm around Gus's neck and Styles with the other. "Let's go, Boys. We have all night to play this new drinking game I just learned."

Gus and Styles groaned as they allowed her to bring them down the sidewalk with Chris following behind them. Katherine and her drinking games were a pain in the ass. She mostly always wins!

"Okay, fine…" Styles grunted. "But, Chris," he called over his shoulder, "It's your turn to carry Katherine home when she gets stupid drunk, okay? She's too heavy for me—Ow!" He rubbed the spot on his head where she smacked him. "Hey! I'm older than you! Why are you so mean to me?"

…

Present

Gus softly chuckled at the memory of that night many years ago. His burner phone buzzed, catching his attention—it was a text message from Styles. Putting on the earpiece that he prepared for him, Styles's voice sounded in his ear a minute later saying, "Let's roll."