Chapter 158 - Emotional Outbreak

It wasn't feel good to see him again. I thought he already left after that, and he's gone because I'm here. But an unfortunate happened again right now and he's right here in front of me.

His cold gestures was telling me that he doesn't feel good seeing me again. Like it's a coincidence that our fate brought us together and he was meant to help me with my failures.

There's a lot of things that was running inside my mind while having a quiet encounter with him. I bet he didn't expect to see me here again and he was annoyed for always helping me.

But I didn't even asked him to do it, he initiated. And even if I knew that he's here, I wouldn't asked him to help me.

Like duh? He's my ex and I didn't to be associated with him anymore...

"If you're not gonna say anything, I'll leave now." He said in a monotone.

That voice wakes me with my deepest thoughts. He's casually looking at me right now, his hands were both on his pockets and his brows perfectly arched on me.

I wouldn't deny that he looked so perfect today.

"Goodbye, then."

He turns his back at me and started to walk but there's something that's telling me to stop him. I caught his hands and gripped it. I don't know what's happening to me but, I really need to talk to him now. I'll regret it later I'm sure If I won't be able to tell him about it.

"Uh.." I started.

His eyes turns to our hands, wearing his blank expression. He's cold.

"You should speak lady. I won't ever let go of this hand if you hold it until I decided to stay," he said which made me feel anxious.

I immediately let go his hand for that. Pain flushes through his eyes as I've started to avoid his dangerous gazes.

Oh god. My heart was beating so goddamn fast!

"You shouldn't be rude to someone that only wants to thank you," Jacob pulled me behind him, he's glaring Noah like he didn't like what Noah said to me. "But since I'm nice, I'll be the one to thank you for helping my girl."

My eyes turned to Jacob's back as he mentioned the word 'girl' to him. What does he mean by that? And the fact that the tension between them was making me go wild, I can't see Jacob's reaction right now.

"Girl.." Noah chuckled, sarcasm filled his laughs.

He turned to my direction like his vision was overpassing the sight of Jacob. The block isn't the barrier to see my reaction, he gave me smirked before shaking his head.

I was about to call him when he started to walk away but then, Jacob held my hand tighter until Noah leaves the place.

I felt so sad for that, this is the perfect time to tell him about it but there's a lot of hindrance for me to do what I want. I just wanted to end it and give him a reason to move on.

I don't know if he's telling the truth that he hasn't moved on yet but I'm willing to give him the privilege to finally move on.

I'm not a selfish person, I can take all the pain again but if he's not really ready for it. I would surely respect it, not everyone can move on easily. Some are just enduring every moment of their hardships just to finally accept that not we always wants, we can always get in the end.

We can't dictate what our hearts needs. And we can't lose what we ought to give.

"Let's go."

Jacob took my hand with him as we started to walked through the falls. The water was purely clear to what I'm seeing right now. The screams of my friends caught my attention as I watch them waggling their hands to us. They looked so happy with it and It's a shame that I can't even feel happier.

Damn.

"Their faces seems so happy but look at your face. Do you want me to call a clown just to make you laugh again?" Jacob massaged his chin, acting so stressed about me.

We started to stand up beside our friends and he offered his hand to me as he takes my bag with him.

"I'm happy. It's just not visible with my reaction but I really am," I defended.

I tried to smile and take his hand so we could enjoy the sight of the water in front of us.

He also guided me through the place where I could clearly see the water slowly falling down with those crystalizing effects. It looks amazing and the sound of it makes me feel at ease.

I wanted to stay here and feel the sound of the water. My mind was now already high in bliss. I had lived in this hometown haven't tried this kind of things, but thanks to my friends I already experienced it but in another feeling. Happiness perhaps loneliness controls my ability to ignore the feeling.

This is the time that I'm starting to think about what happened in the past again. The times where he choose to hurt me without even saying sorry..

Is it that really hard to say?

Maybe, he still thinks that it's not his fault. He's not that type to admit what he did anyway..

My eyes watered as pain came back again, slowly ripping my chest with those memories of him. The pain was still here, I can dream of it sometimes but thankful that I already forgotten the details when I wake up.

Oh god.

The sight of the nature was giving me a break to feel and remember what makes me come right here today. I've loved him all my life and all I could do is to make him happy and get through those times where he started as a brokenhearted man.

I used to be so cranky and bold before, but when I fell in love for him I learned to act like an average girl. A girl where I devoted all my life to him. I was so happy when he start seeing me as woman and even get through those times that I doubted his feelings for me.

He made me feel so special and loved as he always cling around me. Being cute all the time when he wants to do something with me. Acting so stupid when he gets slow with the situation but most of the time, being an understanding person which I really wished to have when I'm still dreaming about him.

It was a shame that we didn't last the long.. That he wasn't the really happy with my arms, that's why he decided to turn his back at me and chose to be with the woman that he used to love.

I was in a competition where I'm the only one who's left behind and not able to chase what's ahead of me. It's hard to fight when you know in the first place that he was never mine.

That he's just lost when he met me..

And I was left hanging, dumbfounded and pathetic. He made me feel worthless and unloved after witnessing his wrong doings to our relationship. Now, he's here. Reliving the scar that he dig inside my chest.

I'm tired. Extremely tired of being tortured by him..

I closed my eyes and turns over the way inside the cave where my friends getting their own photos now. It looks fun as I see them being happy with it.

I wanted to try too.

"Come here man! We found some hidden treasures on that way. For now, let Raine spends her time with the girls!" Harry and Marco pulled Jacob's arms away from me.

"Fuck off dudes! I'm not leaving Raine," He looks annoyed.

"Don't be such a brat! Raine will find it turn off!"

And with that, Jacob turned his head on me, eyes were widening so I had to nod at him and crossed my arms. I gestured him to come with them while wearing my cold expression.

I giggled when he finally nodded, scratching his backhead before going with the two.

And now, I decided go inside and explore what's in it. I was shocked as I saw those shining like crystals on every stones that I passed by. I also touched some of them, getting amused with its texture. The stone feels so cold and the color seemed dirty white.

"Are you okay, Raine? We can't even call you earlier because Jacob says that you need to be alone. What's the problem, hmm?" Jennie asked, looking all worried with Sam.

They pulled my hand away through our friends. I get why they gives me an odd stares earlier. They are worried and Jacob is so talkative!

"I'm just getting me emotional outbreak, don't worry. I always get emotional when I see things like this.." I smiled.

"Let us hug you.."

I was surprised when they're all hugged me. They're so funny.

When we pulled together they decided to go back there again and that way I also walked towards them. But a sudden camera flash stops me from walking. I looked around and see him taking pictures of the whole place. He's busy with it without noticing me behind him.

With his posture, I think he's serious about taking pictures of detail about this cave. I know I'm being nosy for watching him right now, but who knows? He can't even see me.

And by the way, why do we keep seeing each other now?

To be continued..