Chapter 219 - The Slow Poison

When Zhang Zhi Jun and Li Juan reached the hotel, it was already half past midnight.

As they strolled in the hallway leading to the elevator, he looked at the woman who remained with an emotionless face. 

It was a dreadful day for them. Hours ago, they just killed someone and as a normal human being, Zhang Zhi Jun thought, the perilous events happened today might've agitated Li Juan. However, to his surprise, she was more affected by Tang Wei Sheng's health rather than Ning Jing's death. 

Zhang Zhi Jun cleared his throat and tried to gain attention from her, "Li Juan, I have something to tell you," 

She didn't reply but the look on her sharp eyes was evident that she is curious to hear him.

"Don't you feel bad for them? Tae Yang and Wei Sheng," He paused and tried to explain while entering into the empty elevator.

"Usually when people break up, they need a closure before getting into another relationship. Don't get me wrong, but you were just drifting from one person to another without a break,"

Zhang Zhi Jun rattled the car key in his fingers and lazily pressed the floor number with his other hand. 

"I won't be surprised if you say that you like both of them. I don't know whether you have noticed it or not. But you appear a little sadistic when you are in a relation. You love and hurts not only your boyfriend but your exes at the same time," 

"Exes?" Li Juan's eyebrows creased at the choice of his words, 

Taken aback by her intimidating reaction, Zhang Zhi Jun got flustered and accidentally dropped the key on the ground.

Even before he could pick up the keys, Li Juan bent down and took it from the ground.

"Oh I forgot that one-sided lovers won't qualify to be counted as exes," He let out a bitter laugh and tried to get over from the awkwardness,

"I meant Ex-boyfriend...you may not have known, but you were my first love," Zhang Zhi Jun gazed at her with a pair of honest eyes.

"I never had an opportunity to get close to you, like those two. But the pain and stress I had to go through while I used to love you, it was almost similar. You literally made me think that I have done something wrong and I would rather kill myself than hurting you, even though you are the one who put me in this agonizing situation," Zhang Zhi Jun indirectly blamed her. 

Li Juan who figured out the direction where this conversation was heading, opened her mouth to comfort him. 

"first brother, I know an apology doesn't make any-"

"Hey hey I don't need an apology from you. I'm just curious to know," Zhang Zhi Jun interrupted her and shrugged his shoulder, "Don't you think you have gone a little overboard by making those two meet and all these helping each other stuff?

When he realized that Li Juan is willing to listen to him, Zhang Zhi Jun continued in a clear voice,

"No matter how good are your intentions, in my opinion, you shouldn't have done that. After all, both of them are equally stubborn, obstinate men and it might have been difficult for them to get together for your sake," 

As she listened more to Zhang Zhi Jun, Li Juan understood that he is upset because of her relationship with Tang Wei Sheng.

"I understand what you are trying to say, first brother. But I'm as shocked as you when I heard that they actually met and tried to settle the bad blood among themselves. I swear, I didn't ask Tae Yang to do so," Li Juan tried to justify her side. She has been always cautious whenever the topic of Tang Wei Sheng pops up in her conversations with Lee Tae Yang. 

"Yeah, you didn't ask, yet he did it," Zhang Zhi Jun snickered at her statement and faced her, 

"That's what I said earlier, you make others feel bad and unknowingly force them to do whatever it takes to make you happy. Look at what Tang Wei Sheng has done today? He killed someone and took the blame by simply saying that he doesn't want to stain your hands with blood,"

"Why do you think that my hands are unstained?" She retaliated indifferently. "For the lives of my parents, Tae Yang's parents, even my child, I' m the one to blame,"

Zhang Zhi Jun huffed and leaned on the elevator wall before responding,

"This is your problem. When you say like this and take the blame, you are unknowingly making others feel bad and guilty for not taking enough care of you," 

"Are you implementing that I am playing the victim card and manipulating others for my own good?" Li Juan asked without sugar-coating anything. She couldn't understand why Zhang Zhi Jun was trying to blame her for what Tang Wei Sheng was done, despite knowing the truth. 

"You can define as you want. But in the end, you are the one who is benefited by everyone. Even if it is rude to say to your face, Li Juan, you must know that you are the silent villain of their lives," 

Zhang Zhi Jun said in a mocking tone and went on blaming her,

"I just can't imagine how insecure Tae Yang must have felt that he went to meet your ex-boyfriend and did everything to keep Tang Wei Sheng out of your life? They say people in love are blind, but do they literally lose their eye sight to see the mental exhaustion and emotional trauma that has been left on their partners in the name of love?" 

Though Zhang Zhi Jun said harshly, his voice gradually softened at the sight of Li Juan who stood there listening without refusing any of his accusations. 

As if she is guilty.

"I'm saying all these because you are standing at an important juncture of your life. You've decided to spend your life with Tae Yang, so please refrain yourself from opening the closed chapters," He reminded her. 

"Hmmm," Li Juan agreed as she got out of the elevator and headed towards her room in silence. Even though she didn't want to acknowledge it, she was aware that there was some truth in Zhang Zhi Jun's words. 

Although she tried to not hurt Lee Tae Yang with her words or actions, sometimes she has doubted that he is being extra lenient on her when it is comes to Tang Wei Sheng.

She thoughtlessly shared everything about her past with Lee Tae Yang and left him burdened with her emotional baggage.

He was being nice to her due to his kind and considerate personality. Other than taking him as granted, does she ever thought from his shoes? 

Zhang Zhi Jun stopped before Li Juan's suite room and took the black room card out of his jacket to swipe open the door.

"Hmm, thank you, first brother, for pointing out my mistakes. I will work hard to rectify it," She said and bowed her head,

"Hmmm, it's already late, go inside and sleep well," Zhang Zhi Jun, let her enter into the room. 

"Good night," Li Juan replied with a faint smile and walked into the brightly lit suite room,

As soon as she got inside, she removed her jacket and boots and headed straightly to the bathroom.

With a perturbed mind, she stood under the shower and turned it on.

Whatever Zhang Zhi Jun said, it did make sense. 

No matter how much she tries to justify and sugar coat it with love and affection, the effect she left on the people around her, at least on Tang Wei Sheng, it was somewhat toxic. 

Her love was like a slow poison, that is capable of silently killing whoever comes in contact.

Li Juan stood under the shower head until the appalling thoughts in her muddled mind settle by its own. 

Once she finished taking the shower, Li Juan got out of the bathroom, wrapped herself in a bath towel. 

She stood before the mirror and checked out the stinging wounds on her body.

"Thank god, the wounds aren't anything deep, otherwise how I'm going to explain to grandpa and others?" Li Juan let out a sigh and took out the disinfectant from the first aid box in the drawer.

As she busied herself with medicines, her eyes fell on the majestic phoenix tattoo on her shoulder. 

At the very sight of the tattoo, somehow the conversation with Zhang Zhi Jun about the wolf flashed in her mind.

The fated mate of the wolf.

Fated mate, is there something like that exists?

According to the age-old beliefs and rules of the Yu clan, if she is the fated mate of Tang Wei Sheng, then how will she define her relationship with Lee Tae Yang? What about their child who was the proof of their love?

Li Juan tried to shook off the ominous thoughts eating her mind and finished dressing her wounds.

Keeping the first box aside, she took her cell phone thinking about calling Lee Tae Yang.

It has been almost a month ever since she left Jing city to recuperate and he was still staying in the capital because of his work.

The corners of her lips drooped down in disappointment, when she saw the time on the phone screen.

It was 1 in the morning, 

"He must be sleeping now," She reluctantly placed the mobile on the bed and headed towards the closet room to change.

While picking the nightgown from the wardrobe, a sudden thought flashed in her mind.

"Lee Tae Yang is in H city and if she leaves now, she will be able to reach Guan family's ancestral home by morning,"

Li Juan immediately changed into a pair of fresh clothes and walked out of the closet room.

Picking up the car keys and her mobile, she stepped out of the room without informing anyone. 

It is not late to apologize for her mistakes, right?

--------------------------

The following morning, Lee Tae Yang woke up from sleep due to a nightmare.

He saw a dream in which Li Juan got attacked by a wolf, right before his eyes- even though it was not real, he couldn't help but fret over it.

Leaning on the headboard of the bed, Lee Tae Yang looked at the gloomy sky outside, an unknown fear creeping inside his mind.

He was well aware of the fact that Li Juan is safe and secure with her family in Yun city, still, he couldn't be at peace. 

After hesitating for some time, Lee Tae Yang reached out for his cell phone and dialled Li Juan's number.

However, after hearing the first ring, he abruptly disconnected the call as his eyes fell on the digital clock in the room.

It was too early to wake Li Juan from her sleep. 

Unable to curb down his wandering thoughts, Lee Tae Yang groggily rose from his bed and grabbed a packet of cigarette and a lighter from the bedside drawer.

Without much thinking, he walked towards the balcony, took a seat and placed a cigarette on his lips.

He wasn't an ardent smoker, however, for the last one month, he found himself craving cigarettes more than ever to cope of with his disconsolate state.

The attack on Li Juan and the loss of their child has almost pushed him into misery. 

However, before Lee Tae Yang could light the cigarette, his phone started ringing.

Looking at the name on the phone screen, his obsidian eyes held a glint of surprise.

It was the phone call from Li Juan.

"Xiao Li, did I wake you?" Lee Tae Yang asked as soon as he picked up the call.

"I was awake, Yangyang," Li Juan's soothing mellow voice heard from the other end of the call.

"Why? Are you still having trouble falling asleep?" His eyebrows creased into a frown,

"No..no...It's just...I was thinking about you," 

Hearing her answer, a tender smile bloomed on Lee Tae Yang's face, "Missing me?"

"Hmmm, a lot,"

"I will come and get you as soon as possible," He assured as he flicked the lighter and lit the cigarette. "Can't believe that we almost spent a month without each other," 

" A month, it felt like an eternity," Li Juan almost whined in frustration,

"Xiao Li, how's your health now? Did you finish the course of your medicines?" Lee Tae Yang bombarded her with various queries. He wished to be with her, but due to the hostile situation in the capital city, he was forced to send Li Juan away.

"I'm completely alright, Yangyang. Don't worry about me. What about you, is everything alright over there? Are you having meals at the right time?" 

"Yes, actually I'm in H city for grandma's death anniversary,' 

"Is it today?" 

"No, tomorrow. I came a little bit earlier for some work,"

"Convey my regards to grandpa Guan and your family," 

"Xiao Li, let's do something. I will call your grandpa and ask whether it is possible to attend the prayer ceremony so that you can come with him to H city?" Lee Tae Yang suggested in an elated tone.

"Yang Yang, what are you saying? It's your grandmother's death anniversary. It's the time when you are supposed to get together as a family and pay your respects," She chided him.

"Hmm, then I will come to Yu palace once I'm done with the ceremonies," He agreed without any second thoughts.

"Yangyang, give me a minute, I will call you later," Li Juan said all of sudden and ended the conversation.

Lee Tae Yang stared at the phone screen for a moment and took a heavy puff. 

For some obvious reasons, hearing Li Juan's voice have put his mind at peace.

At the same time, Li Juan's car was stopped by the security guards at the entry point of the Guan family's large property that spread over hectares of land. 

"Please show your identity card and state the purpose of your visit," The tough looking guard in the check post asked her.

Taken aback by the high level security measures, it took a moment for Li Juan to realize that she is the entering the premises of the most powerful military family in the entire C country.

"I came to visit young master Guan," She replied and handed over her identity card.

"You need special entry permission between 9 pm and 6 am. Do you have it?" The guard asked while checking her ID,

"No, I didn't know that I need a special entry permission," Li Juan pursed her lips in disappointment when she realized that her surprise visit plan is going to fail badly.

"Then sorry miss, we cannot allow you to enter,"

"Actually, I came from Yun city because of an urgent matter. It won't take much time, I will leave right away after meeting young master Guan," Li Juan tried to negotiate her terms with the guards,

"We have strict orders to prohibit every unauthorized entries. So please wait until the dawn or come back with a permission," The guard informed her and all of sudden, another guard came over.

"Miss, Captain Guan is not here neither we received any list of visitors from him. So please," the newly appeared guard requested.

"Oh no no, I'm not here to see Captain Guan, I'm here to see his cousin, Lee Tae Yang," Li Juan explained and cursed herself in head for not mentioning Lee Tae Yang's name properly.

The moment Li Juan uttered his name, the guard's eyes widened in disbelief and they looked at each other with panic struck faces. 

One of the guards,immediately rushed into the guard office and took the wireless phone to make the report.

After a few seconds, he came back and commanded the other to allow Li Juan's car to enter into the property.

The security guards looked at the car driving past them as they stood highly alarmed.

"It is really sad that a pretty woman like her, won't be able to see the world again," One of the guard said in a flustered voice.

"Those who came searching for that man, none of them have left this gate, alive. The same fate is waiting for this woman too,"