Chapter 8 - Despite

Chapter 8 – Despite

Many months passed after Nabel cleared the thorny vines from in front of Ronée’s door. The cuts on his hands scarred, and even as they healed over, the people of that household continued treating Ronée as less than human.

The longer they waited for the answer from the temple, the harsher their attitude towards Ronée became, as though they were hoping she might just put a noose around her own neck.

During that time, there was a small change in Ronée’s room. Nabel, with bandages wrapped around his wrists, suddenly got taller. Even though they were unable to eat properly, he grew to a good height. As for when he exercised, sometimes if Ronée woke up in the night, she would find him gone.

Ronée had been happy for Nabel to have one side of the only bed in the room, but Ryne had opposed it, and so Nabel slept on a mat on the floor. That was why Ronée usually saw him when she opened her eyes; but since some time ago, she would often find him missing in the early morning.

“Nabel?” The first time, she had been surprised, and had looked around him.

Since she had once told him that he could leave whenever he wanted to leave, she had truly been alarmed the first time she had found him gone. It had felt like her heart would beat out of her chest. Even though she knew that she could not keep Nabel with her there forever.

In this unhappy household, Ronée had no way of protecting Nabel. This house may have been better than being hauled around in that shabby cart, but nonetheless, it was an unpleasant place.

Nabel, who had endured his moment of humiliation and followed her willingly, was now free. He could leave whenever he wished. Even though she knew that, Ronée had shot up from the bed to look for him.

She had been ready to set out from her room right that moment if Nabel had not appeared at the window.

“…Ronée?”

“Nabel.” Relief bloomed in Ronée’s chest at the sight of him. That had been when she had had to admit to herself. During those few months, Nabel had become her friend and her companion.

Although they had not known each other long, in that household where she had nothing but enemies, he had become, like Ryne, a precious person on whom she could rely.

“…You’ve really shot up,” Ronée, who had been reminiscing on the last few months, suddenly commented, looking at Nabel.

Nabel, who was standing next to her, was growing noticeably taller. The young boy was growing more and more unrecognisable by the day. Although no more than a few months had passed since they had met, he was about a hand’s span taller.

And although she was five years older than him, she barely had to look down at him anymore. This was partly because Ronée herself was not very tall to begin with, but it was also on account of Nabel’s early growth spurt.

“…Do you dislike it?” Nabel asked hesitantly. Ronée tilted her head slightly. “What?”

Do I dislike your getting taller, you mean? Ronée laughed.

“Rather than that…” It just felt strange that a boy whom she had always looked down at was suddenly getting taller than her. Eventually, Ronée said, “I was just thinking that you’ll be much taller than me one day.”

In the end, it probably sounded like she did dislike it. Even at the light words, Nabel did not smile.

“If you dislike it, I’ll do my best not to grow any more.”

As though his height was something he could control as he wished. Ronée let out a small laugh.

“It’s just that it feels strange when someone who’s younger than you gets taller than you,” she said lightly. “Since you’re growing up so fast, I’m sure you’ll be taller than me some day.”

Nabel eyed her. He replied quietly, “You’ll still always be the older one.”

Always…

Ronée felt the word get stuck in her head. As though he had said that he would never leave. Even though she knew it was selfish, she could not help thinking: it sounded good. Even though she knew that living in that accursed house would only bring him harm.

Even though I know exactly what will happen to Nabel if I get dragged off to the temple.

Still, Ronee could not easily let him go. With just one more person in that desolate house that she could talk with, she had felt like she had been able to rest these past few months.

Ronée looked at Nabel. “I know this isn’t a happy place for you to live.”

That was why the words were hard to get out. Nabel, who was gazing up at Ronée silently, was still just a little bit shorter.

“You know how people treat those who are cursed. When I have to go to the temple, that’s when you have to leave here.”

Those few months had been such a sweet time for her. But they could not go on like that forever. Ronée was of the opinion that it was better to give up early than to cling on.

Before I get any more accustomed to happiness.

Ronée made an effort to say the words firmly. Nabel could not go against her orders.

Nabel, who had always followed Ronée’s words, that day stayed silent. As though he would not follow them. As though he did not want to. And paradoxically, Ronée liked it better that way.

Since that night, Nabel’s excursions gradually became more frequent. Ronée wondered just how he was able to clamber in and out through the window so well.

Perhaps he was always light-footed, she thought, and one day she happened to notice the countless results of his training underneath the thick bandages on his wrists.

“Don’t overdo it.”

When she said things like that, Nabel’s ocean eyes grew even darker. As soon as his gaze met hers, he briefly dipped his head.

He was looking at Ronée’s wrist, where not long ago a maid had intentionally left scratches on her. Ronée had pretended it was just an accident.

“Just a little more.” He hesitated and then continued, “It’s because I want to keep you safe.”

Another few months passed like that.

During that time, Nabel spent his time quietly, as he had said he would. There were no clashes with other members of the household, either. But to Ronée, he did not look like he was meekly lowering his head.

His gaze was certainly not meek. Just like the time when he had listened to her words and endured a moment of humiliation, he had the aura of a young beast keeping its head down while it waited for its chance to strike.

“I won’t do anything that might bring you harm,” Nabel had said calmly, on a day when the knights had kicked him in their heavy military boots. Ronée had felt it on that day, too. The rage of an injured young beast.

It was also on that day that she realized that he would leave her one day.

Many people had left Ronée in her life. Those who treated her well at first quickly changed their tune once they discovered her identity. That was how she knew. She could recognize it when someone was going to leave her.

It may not be because of me, but Nabel will leave this house eventually. The house was too cramped and unpleasant a place to keep him confined there.

While it made Ronée sad, it also brought her joy – she wanted Nabel to go somewhere where he could be at least a little happier. It would probably be the last gift she could give to him before she was eventually dragged off to the temple.

Some time after that, the man who had kicked Nabel was still alive. But the servant who had left scratches on the back of Ronée’s hand on the same day died.

They considered it a coincidence. A big coincidence.