Chapter 5.1

Calrad suddenly grabbed Seira’s wrists and pulled her towards him forcefully. He enveloped her in his muscular arms, and without even skipping a beat, pressed his lips hard on her. Even if her reaction was as stiff as a log, Calrad continued to weave his tongue deeper into her mouth, entangling her in his strong grasp.

His violent kisses forced Seira to bite him. His lips were torn, and a strong metallic taste immediately invaded his mouth. He believed what he was doing would bring her to her senses and return to him, but he didn’t know any better.

He kissed her like he was mad and desperate for her to change her mind. Calrad was reckless. He didn’t give Seira a chance to breathe, kissing and even sucking her saliva.

It was only when Seira couldn’t stand it anymore that he gave her a break. But even that brief moment was not wasted, as he continued to pour kisses on her forehead, eyes, cheeks, and even nicked her earlobes.

“You love me. You were in my arms,” Calrad whispered, a whimper rising from him.

He couldn’t understand what was happening to them at all. It was unacceptable to say the least. Their relationship even went deeper as they were skin-to-skin a few hours ago. Wasn’t she in tears of joy when Calrad said he would imprint on her?

But why…?

Why did she have to do this to him now?

“Yeah, Seira, you could be pregnant already,” he added hopefully, “You may have not manifested yet, but you are my companion, so it won’t be impossible. If you wait for a month or so…”

It didn’t actually matter to him if she was pregnant at the moment. Every day, he would plant his seeds into her until her stomach would swell.

“Calrad, stop it,” she pushed him away.

Seira held his hand which was stroking her belly, fooling himself into believing a baby could be already inside her. She couldn’t be swept away by him any longer.

“You know that can’t be true,” she added quickly.

She looked up at him with a tired face.

“I have to leave the imperial palace tonight. Now let go, please,” she begged him.

The Emperor mercilessly threw her out without a single day’s grace. With no means of protection, she was going to be driven out into the dark of the night.

“You’re… you’re going to abandon me?” Calrad asked, his voice slowly turning into a cry of despair.

His arms that held her entire body trembled terribly. It was sad and scary for her, but the fact that he was so emotional now made it easier for Seira to calm down.

‘This is the best for the both of us,’ she thought at the back of her mind.

There was no other way to escape the inevitable. If Calrad had the power to persuade his father, they wouldn’t have come down to this at all. Seira bit the insides of her mouth, the pain a harsh reminder of what she should do as she pulled herself together.

“I guess this will be the end for us, Calrad,” she spoke softly.

Seira who calmly said their end, was a huge contrast to Calrad’s shocked face.

She was sure already – of her choice and the fact that this time she chose herself. It was the most important thing to her now.

Calrad was in a state of devastation; the moments they spent together suddenly flashing in front of his eyes.

They had built such a deep bond over the years in the imperial palace. Even though she cried and didn’t even try to eat anything, she opened her mouth like a baby bird when he had her sit on his lap and fed her.

He thought he was the only one she needed.

Seira had never expressed her dissatisfaction even when he blocked off her few past relationships. If she was to go out of the garden, she must not be alone and should be with him always.

She was tamed by him like that – to be his obedient companion. She belonged to him completely. He wanted her until his last breath, and she had to laugh and cry for him and only him alone.

Calrad used to believe all of that.

But he was wrong. It was all a mistake.

“Thank you for all this time,” Seira said with finality.

She escaped from the cage-like embrace of his arms, and then picked up the bag she had dropped. She walked past Calrad who was turned to stone.

“Goodbye, Calrad,” she bid him goodbye.

She didn’t choose him.

Seira had to leave the sweet moments they shared together behind her.

* * *

Grief broke out later in her heart.

Whenever Seira’s vision was blurred by her tears, she had to put down her bag and wipe her face. She wiped constantly to no avail as her tears kept pouring down her cheeks, so she hid behind the street where no one could see her and cried her heart out.

She couldn’t believe that she broke up with Calrad, who she thought she would spend her whole life with.

And now they were no longer.

She resented the horribly cruel Emperor Laud, but it was painful to hate Calrad the same. She couldn’t forget the moment when she felt the urge to be held by him, who was trying his best to keep her by his side.

Her steps were slow and sluggish as she was stuck in a puddle of regret. Thinking it was really the last time, a much greater fear than she had first anticipated made her feet buckle.

For that reason, it took her longer to leave the spacious palace. It was even more so when she was leaving with a larger and heavier bag than what she first packed.

She couldn’t begin to think how she would be able to escape in the deep of night without a word. She even left with a heavy heart at that.