Chapter 184 - 184. Edward!

(choon-Hee POV)

I walked towards the hotel where Edward was staying, now I need an explanation from him. I wonder if he can explain why he said I only want to take advantage of him, why he said that I was near him with an insincere heart, why? I'm disappointed, of course. Who is not disappointed when the man I love says such lowly things?

I took the elevator and immediately searched for the room that Edwards was currently occupying. How do I know the room number? Zurich finds out about it, more precisely the Berenice family is able to find out anything. After I forced Zurich to find out Edwards' room number, he couldn't help but give it to me.

I don't want to lower my self-esteem by coming to my husband again. When I said I was going to divorce him, I just wasn't used to this kind of unfair life, I mean.. We're on good terms, and we have to end things on good terms.

I just got out of the elevator door, my eyes immediately saw Edwards who seemed to be in a hurry to get out. His eyes met mine, he looked surprised. but not long ago he walked fast and grabbed my hand roughly

"You happen to be here, I want to ask you. Are you really going to leave me?" Edwards' question left me speechless, he pulled me into one of his rooms and closed the door pretty tight. luckily i don't have heart disease, so i can still be fine when he acts quite rude like that.

"You're glad I left? I'm just a woman you paid for and you easily let go." I said sarcastically, and Edward immediately threw me onto the sofa. Really rude, it made me wince softly.

"After you made a pact with my mother! With my family! And after you get what you want, you can just leave me? You act like you're hurting the most! pierced my heart deepest Choon-Hee! An ignorant bitch! How can you act like a prostitute!? Is everything you gave me just because of money and just because you want to find your parents!?." Edwards shouted loudly, I was really surprised to hear Edwards voice so high.

my heart was shocked by what he did, especially when he said that I was a whore. So all this time I was considered like that?.

"Yes! I was only using you! To find my parents, what else do I need!? What I want, we are brought together Because of a job. Why are you acting as if we are lovers now? Are you forgot how we first met? You forgot how you bought me, bought my time, bought my body? You forgot? Or are you pretending to forget to look like a gentleman! Don't ever blame me for what I did! I just want to meet my parents, Edwards! Is it wrong? Is it wrong for a child to want to find her parents in every way she can? I just want my mother back, my father back. Why are you hiding that fact? When you know who my parents are?" I had tears in my eyes, Edwards took a deep breath and ruffled his hair roughly.

I grabbed his arm and stroked him gently. 

"I really believe in you, I just want to work for your family and get everything I want. I don't want to disappoint you with all that, I know it's wrong. But I really only intend to protect your heart, that's my intention. anything else. especially if you think I'm cheap, giving my body to other men and to you too. especially when you think that I'm easy to touch and all men can feel my body. I just don't want you to think like that. I did all this , for years, just to find my parents." Once again I spoke to Edwards, he looked confused as to what answer I said.

Would Edwards really think bad things about me, especially if I told him everything? what will he think of me? did he just walk away and not want to see me again? Not everything that happens in my life, I can share with him, why? Because I never know how he thinks about my story. He could be disappointed and he could understand. That's all I'm afraid of

"All this time I'm used to being alone, And I'm not used to having someone I can trust to talk to. I'm just alone and only talk to the night sky, Right now when I'm being blamed for not telling me about the bad incident, about what i want when i'm around you, i feel sad, sad that it turns out that living alone is better. than me having to live around many people, but they don't understand me. they just think i'm wrong and i've let them down, they don't thought that I just wasn't used to everything that was going on.

After what happened now, did you spill everything on me Edwards? You act like I'm in the wrong, so funny. Is this what you always do to other people? to everyone around you? Are you really used to admitting you were wrong and then after that you blame other people openly? I thought you were different, I guess when I fell in love with you it was because I saw the innocence on your face." I said again openly, Edwards had looked me in the eyes again then he laughed loudly.

"You think I'm not disappointed? When you say I'm crazy? When I hear myself That I'm just an ignorant man? That the whole Douglas family isn't sane? I was wrong, I actually saw the fake behind your beautiful and innocent face. I only saw someone who was covering his face with a mask! I really felt hurt to hear what you said to me. All this time I was trying to be sincere, I was trying to get rid of situations that make me feel like I need you.

Especially when I see you who are so beautiful when you smile, you know? when you smile on your face i miss you so much. But now, when you accuse me of only using you, right now I feel like I really hate you. Does the loneliness you feel make you a fool? Can't you see which people are truly sincere to you and which are just taking advantage of you? do you feel I'm only here for the sexy body you have!" Edwards asked in a loud tone.

"Yeah! You're only here for that right? What else are you doing? It's only for my body!? You just feel lonely and need me, we are Like a symbiotic mutualism. We need each other, you can do anything to me when I'm so stupid and innocent ! you act as if i don't understand anything ! what the hell are you doing ! i am still self aware of what you have done !! i realized ! so i said it all in front of you ! i am not a person who talks behind your back and acts sweet like you!!" I said out loud, I didn't want to be nice to him anymore. I'm tired of being an innocent girl in front of him. I want them all to know that I'm an adult and that I understand what they want to do.

"Yaaaa!! I do want your body! I want your body! I want everything you have!! That's true! But that was long ago! It was a long time ago before I saw your eyes that were always looking at me tenderly! That was before I really see the sincerity on your face. You believe that I am sincere, the first time we met you believed in me! That's what made me feel guilty and slowly started to change my way of thinking. I want to love you without reason, I want to love you without any deal or your beautiful body again!I want to love you because it's you!No one else!Did you not understand all this time!didn't you see true love in my eyes!Are you blind!!

Where is your heart and brain! Can't you see just a little bit of all my sincere care and love? I fell in love with you, for no good reason. without a reply! and you insult the sincere love I give! You insulted and revealed everything I did to you! After that, you insulted me and accused me of all kinds of things. I never thought that I was this bad." Edwards' words made me flinch. He fell in love with me? Really? Since when did he fall in love with me?.

I was shaking in my place and could only stand with the tears that were about to fall.

"You know Choon-hee? Why was I so happy for you when we first met? When I didn't know you were the Princess of the Berenice family? When we looked at each other, you wanted to meet me and tell me your name. It was your name that made me fall in love. I was immediately fascinated and began to interpret the name 'Choon-hee' a girl born in spring.

Your name is so perfect like your beautiful and amazing face. I was wondering who gave you a beautiful name? For me a name symbolizes purity and clarity of heart.

I once asked a client who is quite close to me, I asked about the meaning of your name. And does that name represent a good person?

That person told me that woman was given that name because she is different from all the things in this world, she is too different and she is so special. I was immediately amazed to hear this. I want to be close to you just because of your name. That's the beginning of why I'm always close to you.

Now I know why you are different, because you are really different from most people. If someone else would hurt me blatantly and maybe kill me with a single stab.

Unlike you, you hurt my heart and slowly kill my heart. You made me fall in love with you, take care of you, do anything for you, give all my time and thoughts only to you. Then after I've really loved you very deeply. You destroyed my love and you trampled on my pride, you screamed loudly that I was only using you.

ahhh.. so sick! It hurts to be accused like this. but what can i do? I'm the bad guy, I'm the bad guy here. And you are the kindest person. Isn't that right, Choon-hee?." The question that Edward gave me made me feel worse.

Why does it hurt so much? I really felt excruciating pain inside when he said all that, I couldn't understand what was really going on. But I made a mistake. I made unforgivable mistakes.

"Edwards. I.. I.. I.. just.." My lips felt numb. I don't know what to say and I can only squeeze my hand tightly. I'm afraid of hurting Edwards even more if I open my mouth and let out all those words.

How about now?

"Edwards." I said slowly, but he just looked sadly at me.

"It's okay, it's natural for me to be underestimated. I'm just a child without the love of a mother who has nothing, I even just live off all my family's inheritance, it's funny, everywhere I'm not around I accept it well. And here I am being accused badly. Isn't it funny Choon-hee? I look pathetic." Edwards let out a single tear.

I'm getting scared to see him already sad. Oh my gosh Choon-hee! What are you doing? why is everything so complicated? why is it like this? this is not what i expected!

"I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I have been honest from the start. That I was near you because I wanted to find my parents. Now that I have found them, I want to thank you. Behind all the mistakes I said, behind all the pain you feel, and behind all the togetherness we've ever done. I'm sorry, maybe this is the way our lives, maybe like this is the end of a journey that we never really did well. Edwards? you are a very great man and perfect.

Being your wife is every woman's dream, I hope you can get along with Violet. I also hope that you can find happiness after your baby is born from Violet's womb. Edwards? Thanks for everything, I hope you are happy. I will leave this place, I hope you will forgive me." I tried to get up from the seat earlier, I had tears in my eyes again. I couldn't hold back all this, I just wanted to go right away. I was really scared, I was scared. hugged him and didn't want to leave at all.

"Are you done? You really left? left me with all the love you've broken?" Edwards said in a low voice, stopping my footsteps.

I was shaking, I was crying loudly. It wasn't long before I felt a warm embrace from Edwards. I fell into his arms and chose to surrender, really surrender. Edwards? I love you, I love you!.. I shouted in my heart.