Chapter 131 - A Friend, Perhaps : Part 3

Aster grew up seeing his brother become the hero.

Growing up in a family with high power of the society's security, Aster saw how Valerian slowly became the lieutenant. The hero.

So the boy had thought that he would become like his brother someday. He used to admire Valerian so much that he would copy every little action his brother did and tried to become a hero too.

The keyword here was 'used to'.

Aster grew up seeing his brother become the hero.

And he also grew up seeing himself become the villain.

Being in the hero's shadow wouldn't make you a hero too. Just by following that hero's footsteps, you would not become the same person.

Because someone already made that footstep first and received the spotlight. Therefore, no one would care for the next hero unless the hero himself retired or vanished from the world.

Aster was the shadow of Valerian's shadow. No one appreciated him unless he did more than his brother.

So he began to resent his brother a little. It was not a big resentment to the point that he wanted Valerian gone. It was only the usual sibling rivalry.

But in the end, Aster would never be enough. He tried, god, he really did. He tried and yet no one was there to congratulate him the way they did to Valerian.

So the boy began to create his own footsteps to receive a new spotlight, to receive his parents' attention.

He started to suppress people. He claimed the high ground and showed he was the superior one. He picked a fight here and there. He got called by the principal and his parents would see how their youngest was doing by getting called to the school because of his behavior.

He finally got all the attention he wanted.

Then one day, he met a boy named Leo. The outstanding silver hair and the perfect amber eyes supported how perfect the boy was. He received all the best scores and got all the attention.

Yet when Aster did that, no one- not a single person looked his way. They always looked at Valerian.

Leo became the hero in the school.

It pissed Aster off. It was unfair.

Then it occurred to him. All heroes needed a villain, right?

Then so be it. That was Aster's thought.

He started to bully the silver head down. He was simply reminding the hero that the villain was the one that owned the ground.

So Leo stopped becoming the hero. He became the pathetic person that got bullied by the superior villain. Aster once again owned the spotlight.

Then one day, there was another copy of Leo. But worst.

His name was Axel, apparently.

The boy was perfect in so many ways. The black-haired boy got all the attention in school. And he even jumped to help Leo as if he was a hero.

So Aster diverted his attention to the boy. He stopped bullying Leo and pretended that the silver head never existed before. He bullied Axel harsher than how he did to Leo.

Aster did not realize that he started to enjoy doing it. He enjoyed how he made Axel suffer.

But Axel did not back down. He did not fight back nor give up.

He had a white knight to protect him. A sidekick. A hero's partner. Axel got everything he wanted without even trying.

Aster did not know when did he start to hate a hero.

Then he met the mute murderer and realized that he prefered a villain over a hero. He admired the criminal who acted as a disguised hero as he killed people. Aster did not know when did he start to accept murder.

So then he realized that he was a villain too.

And after he found out that the hero was actually a villain, he denied it at first. He put up the act of foolishness that he showed in front of the mute murderer while trying to comprehend his act of bullying toward Axel.

In the end, he became a little bit of those two things toward Axel. He became a friend, perhaps. Yet Aster was still aware of how he was a villain in Axel's life. But the thought of two villains becoming friends wasn't bad, was it?

But lately, Aster wished that he was not a villain.

He wished he was a hero and kept following in Valerian's footsteps. Maybe that way, Axel could have been a hero too.

Maybe that way, Axel could have lived.

"You're getting worse." The therapist in front of him uttered while holding a clipboard in her hand.

"I know," Aster answered without hesitation while telling the obvious truth to her.

She wrote something on her clipboard before looking at Aster's tired eyes again. "You were getting better."

"I know." He repeated his word and sighed, staring at her lazily. Not the lazy 'lazy', but a lazy as if he did not have a will to live anymore.

"Hey, doc," Aster spoke up before she could talk again. "Someone stole Axel's body."

The therapist raised an eyebrow and lowered her glasses to see the blond's face. Axel had become a hot topic in Aster's therapy. When the blond confessed about his relationship with the mute murderer, she had become stiff and tried to act professionally at the sudden confession.

Now, she was used to hearing the mute murderer's name every time Aster came to her for therapy.

"He couldn't even rest after he died." Aster belittlingly chuckled at his words as if mocking Axel. But he and the therapist knew that it was only his act of coping mechanism.

"I've been the worst person to him. I didn't even let him enjoy school life. I didn't even let him be a hero and support his path to be a villain, a murderer." The blond continued, snarling.

Then his face fell in a second, returning to his depressed state. He brushed his dirty blond hair back and let it cascade down his forehead again. "I think I am getting worse."

"It's not your fault that Axel became the way he was. It's not your fault that his body was stolen." She retorted back, focusing on the pathetic boy in front of her.

Aster shrugged with a ton of weight clamping down his shoulders. "Maybe."

Then he smiled sadly at the therapist. "But he might have a nice school memory if I didn't do those things to him, right?"

"Don't you get it, doc? I'm a villain too, just like him." Aster shoved down the heavy lump in his throat. "You are only seeing my pathetic self."

"You never saw the real me. Maybe if you never see this 'me', you'll see me as the worst villain that bullies people." He continued, gritting his teeth as he told the truth to her.

The therapist put down her clipboard onto the table. "But Aster,"

"This is the real you."

✵✵✵✵✵✵

"Aster, you're finally home. Want to have a cake?"

As Aster opened the front door, his parents welcomed him in so much warmth. They always tried to search for free time to greet him and see how he had been doing lately.

Aster's parents never paid attention to their child until now. The day the dirty blond hair boy asked them to go to therapy with tired and hollow eyes, they started to realize how they had lost the usual Aster.

Then they realized that they never knew Aster at all. They realized, and they were too late.

It was ironic. Aster could not help but laugh at it.

"No, mom. You can eat it with Val later." He answered without even trying to smile at her and went to his room.

The therapist's words had been planted in his brain. He started to question which one was the real him. He began to question whether he was a villain or a victim too.

But after meeting Axel, he knew that everyone was a little bit of both. Maybe Aster was not always a villain. Maybe he could let Axel go. Maybe he could let the guilt go.

Maybe he was a hero too.

The boy opened his bedroom door slowly. Somehow, there was a tugging feeling in his heart. There was a sense of danger and dread as he tried to get into his room.

It also felt like time had become slow at that moment. He had a bad feeling and voices that screamed to not open the door.

Then without realizing it, he already let the door open.

Aster stood. He stood in his doorway, and he just...stared.

A familiar neat navy cloak and a navy blindfold appeared in his vision. The person wearing them stood before him as they both had a weird staring contest.

Aster met the blindfolded man in his room. The man that had been rumoured to be the one who killed Axel. The man that had ruined the mercenary's plan. The infamous mysterious man on the news that haunted people in Livedam city.

Then the blindfolded man started to lower down his neat navy hood, revealing a familiar hair colour that Aster wished he did not have to see.

And then the mysterious man moved his hand to his eyes and started to open his blindfold, revealing familiar red eyes that were just too familiar.

It was too damn familiar.

It was too familiar because right now, when he saw the blindfolded man's face, Aster was standing there as if he was in front of a mirror.

Aster realized that time, at that exact moment, he realized that it did not matter which one was the real him.

Because he...

Because he really...

He really was a villain, after all.