Chapter 124 - More Interludes : Part 2

When Axel came up to Cain's glass, the man had thought that the boy would sacrifice him for his sister and brother. Because he did not care about the boy, and he knew that it would be the same the other way around.

He did not realize that he had lost to the scientist. Though when he woke up, he could not see her anywhere. He had thought that he was being kept in some kind of prison because of her, but it seemed like that was not the case.

He loved his daughter. He needed to let her live. He did not care about his own life, and he knew the fact that Axel would save Kiaran first. The two had always been inseparable in some way.

He knew he needed to save Kiaran too. But he didn't think of that at that time.

"Choose those two." Cain tried to speak despite his voice which was really sore. "Let me die." He commanded his youngest son coldly.

Though, he really did not expect the reaction of the boy. But at the same time, he kind of expected it too.

Axel's face was full of glee and relief. So at that time, Cain thought that the boy was glad that he offered himself to die. Cain really thought that Axel did not want to feel guilty about his father's death.

"As expected. I knew it." Axel let out a happy laugh and pointed at his father. "You do love Kiaran!" He happily exclaimed, and it just made Cain frown even more.

He did not understand him at that time. Oh, how Cain wished he had understood the implication behind his youngest's expression.

"I'm sorry." Axel apologized without looking away from his gaze.

"Why are you sorry for choosing them? It's my request." Cain replied, staring at his youngest's awkward smile with distaste.

Cain should have understood the implication behind his words. He should have understood many things. But then again, if he understood right then, what would he do anyway?

Would he stop the youngest?

"No, no. I'm not sorry for that." Axel waved his hands clumsily and blinked a little. His youngest's following words almost threw Cain off.

"I'm sorry for making you lose mother. If I can give my life for her to come back, I would. I knew the reason why you hated me was that I killed mother. I've always known the fact since I was little."

Cain still stared at him with an unchanging expression. Right. He hated Axel, did he not?

"So I'm sorry for being born." Axel continued, causing Cain to look at him with a quizzical expression. "I'm sorry for existing." The boy kept talking, and it just made the man more confused.

He knew something was wrong. He really should have understood. But he denied it. He denied it by thinking that it was a farewell for him, not to him.

"I'm not trying to guilt-trip you or anything. I genuinely want to apologize." Axel confessed with an awkward laugh, trying to brush off the weird conclusions that Cain was thinking.

"If I could choose, I'd rather not be born. That way, maybe, everything would be okay." He gave Cain a sad smile. Axel wished Cain would turn back his smile just once. He'd take anything even though it was fake.

"And I do, love you. A lot." Axel's voice cracked a little, and he quickly hid it with a cough. "I'm glad at least I have a parent."

That threw Cain off. Though, his expression did not change much because his mind suddenly went blank. He did not realize that Axel would say the word love to him.

Because Cain knew he himself would never say that word to the boy.

"Thank you for being my father, for letting me alive these years. It probably didn't mean anything for you, but it really meant everything for me." Axel quickly turned away.

Cain did not understand then. And he still wished he had understood even though he probably still could not do a single thing.

"But you know," Axel was not that far away from Cain's glass as he stopped himself.

Cain eyed the boy with his cold gaze even though the voices in his head screamed the other way around.

"-I kind of wish you'd care for me too." The boy confessed and turned his head once more at his father.

And Cain saw it.

Axel's mismatched eyes had become blurry while gazing at Cain one last time. "I'm selfish, right?"

For a moment there, Cain could see his brother in his youngest. Raziel's innocent and saddened smile appeared in his vision. He felt chills run down his spine. It was as if someone suddenly wrapped him in a blanket of ice.

And he would not admit how he could see Cecilia talking when Axel talked to him earlier. Her shadow was always following Axel.

Cain did not like her expression, though. Cecilia's shadow would always look at him with disappointment and pity every time he saw the boy. Sometimes it was anger. He was always haunted by her shadow every time Axel appeared.

That was one of the reasons why he loathed the boy.

But after the boy walked away from him, everything happened in a flash.

"Axel? What are you doing?" He had asked when the boy was the one in the glass instead of him.

Cain had felt this way before. He had seen this scene before. He knew it well than anybody else in this world.

Then Cain finally tried to understand.

Cain did not know what was happening. But something was tugging him, eating him inside out. He felt like the whole world had stopped right then and there. Something was clawing his mind, telling him to move, to do something.

It was desperation. His mind was driven to just save the boy.

He had never felt this way before. The day the red lights surrounded the boy and crushed his youngest, Cain did not even bat an eye to care for him. Yes, he had tried to save him a little, seeing how desperate his daughter was.

But after Adreanna passed out, Cain never gave even a single thought to meet his youngest or save him.

Axel looked too much like his mother. And because of him, she died. Just because she wanted a child like him.

If Axel hadn't been born, everything would be fine.

It was such an irony for him to think that way right after Axel told him about that too, right after the arrow pierced into Axel's heart as the boy choked into his own blood and black tears started to drip down his face.

So Cain let desperation take control of him. He needed to save him.

That was his only thought at that moment as he shot the glass and tried to break it in many ways.

His breath ragged when the clock kept ticking like a bomb. Sweats started to run down the side of his forehead. Cain did not realize what was happening. He also did not realize that he had begun to tremble.

So when Axel slowly closed his eyes, Cain's heart stopped.

The boy's figure flashed back and forth between Raziel and Axel. It kept repeating and repeating. So that time, Cain also realized something.

Oh, it repeated again.

How foolish of him.

He really thought that he had learned from his mistake. It seemed like he didn't.

He shouldn't have cared this much, so why-

why did he cry?

He realized everything now. Axel was relieved that he cared for Kiaran and Adreanna. The boy did not even care if he cared for him or not. The boy wore his heart on his sleeve, always keeping everyone above himself.

He was too similar to Raziel.

'I also cared about you.' Cain needed to say it once before it was too late. But instead, he smiled at the boy. He tried to say it, but he only smiled at that time.

The smile was a lie too.

So he threw himself to the glass. Tears had started to pour down from his eyes. He did not realize it then.

'I also cared about you.' He just needed to say it even though it was a lie. But he needed to say it, or it would be too late.

As Cain tried to break the glass, the words only repeated in his mind.

'I also cared about you.'

He needed to say it. Just once. The boy needed to hear that once. He could not die this way. He needed to hear it once-

Then Axel's eyes had closed before Cain could realize it.

It was too late, anyway.

In the end, he couldn't say it.

Because it would be a lie.

But the man did not understand that his tears weren't lying. Cain never understood, anyway.

The last thing he remembered was a red vision and a blurry fight. And still, the man would never understand.

✵✵✵✵✵✵

When the black vision turned white, a tear fell down from the man's blue eye once more. The white colour slowly morphed into various ones; a brown colour from the ceiling, the cream colour of the wall, and black colour from braided hair.

"-someone stole Axel's body."

The colour became too bright at those words. Cain found himself grimacing as he tried to turn around at the owner of the voice.

He could see a familiar face talking to his daughter. The brunette's expression was full of worry as he opened his mouth once more.

"It's your brother, the mercenary."

And Cain finally understood. He understood that Axel had gone. That the boy had died and would never come back.

This time, he wished that he hadn't understood.