Chapter 118 - His Broken Self : Part 2

Axel woke up right when the sun vanished from the world. The blanket draped over him neatly, and his window's curtain was half shut.

It seemed like he overslept after he took a nap.

Something was wrong.

The clock was pointing at the number seven. Ah, Axel had to help Kiaran on his next mission.

Yeah, he needed to help him like he usually did. Everything was fine. Nothing was wrong. That was right.

But anyway, he needed to fill his stomach first. He probably had screwed up his sleeping and eating habit.

He glanced tiredly at the window as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Brushing his fluffy hair away from his face, the boy grimaced from his aching head and jumped over from the bed, making a soft thump sound.

His body slumped as he stood up. He felt highly exhausted lately, maybe he should stop pushing himself too hard. His body ached all over, especially his chest. Was he dying at such young age already?

Maybe he should take Rune's-

No.

Something was wrong.

Axel made his way out of his room, walking into his second-floor hallway while dragging his footsteps. He went down the stair with a shaking hand. He probably got it because he hadn't eaten lunch.

There was a faint smell of hot chocolates and some sound of chopping knife against a cutting board alongside boiling water. Axel could hear familiar voices talking.

That was wrong.

He walked into the kitchen, expecting only Kiaran to be there but instead, he spotted three people. Kiaran was busy making the soup while Cain chopped the ingredients.

Adreanna sat on the chair, drinking her hot chocolate in silence. Food set out in front of her, filling all the four chairs' spots. Two hot chocolates and one coffee were there too, and Axel could see the steam coming out of them.

'Something is wrong.' The voice in the back of Axel's mind whispered. It was a frantic whisper, a desperate one.

"Oh, look, the sleepyhead decided to finally wake up from his beauty sleep." Kiaran put the ladle in his hand down and shot a playful smirk at his dumbfounded little brother.

No, no, no, no, no-

Axel did not realize he was shaking. Sweats ran down from the side of his forehead as he staggered back from the kitchen.

Kiaran reached his hand to the boy with a sign of concern on his face. "Axel, are you oka-"

Axel slapped his brother's hand, glaring wide-eyed at the brother before him. "Fuck off."

Kiaran's face turned bored. The concern in his red eyes had vanished as his face shifted into an upset look, almost like he was annoyed.

"Fine. Let's play this game."

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Axel woke up right when the sun vanished from the world. The blanket draped over him neatly, and his window's curtain was half shut.

It seemed like he overslept after he took a nap.

The clock was pointing at the number seven. He needed to fill his stomach first. He probably had screwed up his sleeping and eating habit.

He glanced at the window as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Brushing his fluffy hair away from his face, the boy grimaced from his aching head and jumped over from the bed, making a soft thump sound.

He stretched his hands as he stood up. He felt highly exhausted lately, maybe he should stop pushing himself too hard.

Axel made his way out of his room, walking into his second-floor hallway while dragging his footsteps. He went down the stair with a shaking hand. He probably got it because he hadn't eaten lunch.

There was a faint smell of hot chocolates and some sound of chopping knife against a cutting board alongside boiling water. Axel could hear familiar voices talking.

He walked into the kitchen, expecting only Kiaran to be there but instead, he spotted three people. Kiaran was busy making the soup while Cain chopped the ingredients.

Adreanna sat on the chair, drinking her hot chocolate in silence. Food set out in front of her, filling all the four chairs' spots. Two hot chocolates and one coffee were there too, and Axel could see the steam coming out of them.

He took a seat in front of Adreanna and faced his brother and father's back. He stared at the hot chocolate in front of him dully. There was a weird aching in his head, and it dragged his whole vision to blur a little.

"Oh, look, the sleepyhead decided to finally wake up from his beauty sleep." Kiaran put the ladle in his hand down and shot a playful smirk at his fatigued little brother.

"It's only a five hours nap. I was tired." Axel muttered. He didn't even bother to smile or look up to his brother. It seemed like emotions were getting drawn out of him.

"That ain't a nap, dear little brother." Kiaran shook his head fondly and went back to stir the soup.

"It's still a nap." Axel protested, leaning his elbow onto the table, staring at the steam coming out of his hot chocolate as if his life depended on it.

"You've been staring at your hot chocolate for a while. Why not drink it?" Adreanna mentioned while sipping her hot chocolate gracefully. She always looked elegant on doing anything literally.

Axel puffed his breath. "Well, I-" He looked up to Adreanna's eyes, and suddenly, he felt like the world suddenly broke apart, shattering into pieces within his mind.

"I-" He furrowed his eyebrows slowly, confusingly. "I'm-"

Axel stopped. And when he did that, he could feel his heart and breath stopped working too. His soul absquatulated through his body while his mind desperately clung to it.

Another minute passed, but Axel did not realize. The world turned slow, and everything was way too blurry. He felt like a deer in a headlight, knowing that a wave of death was coming his way and yet he could not move an inch.

"You okay?" Adreanna's monotone voice somehow went inside Axel's haze of blurry world.

The boy blinked. Once. Twice. Then he stared at Adreanna's deep red eyes, like a red ocean that no one could explore, like a pool of blood, but beautiful.

"I'm okay." There was no tone in Axel's answer as he blinked once more. "I'm just- I'm just tired. Maybe I need more rest."

"You can rest after dinner." She stated. Maybe she tried to soothe him as she still focused on Axel's well being.

"I feel ill and- and weird." Axel tried to blink again. And again. Then again.

"Then you should take some medicine. I'll get it for you." Adreanna put the hot chocolate in her hand down and got ready to stand up.

Though Axel suddenly stopped her midway, reaching into her sleeve from across the table. "No, no-"

There was a gist of memory that went past him. A sudden ache in his heart, and something cracked within his body. He tried to hold onto it but quickly lost the sight or the feel of it.

He tried to remember. Tried to think. Tried to replay the memory.

What did he forget about again?

"Axel?" His sister asked, staring down at his hand that clung onto her sleeve and then to his pale face.

Did he just think about 'his sister'? Sister. Was she his sister? Wait. Why did he think about this again?

Axel suddenly let go of her and staggered back. The chair fell down, creating a loud sound as he stared at Adreanna with this headache that just wouldn't stop-

It would not stop.

He couldn't-

Axel tripped over the chair and fell onto the floor. Everything swayed around him as he tried to keep his ground solid, blinking again, hoping that it would stop moving just for a fucking second-

"I don't-" He choked as he looked up at the owner of the feet that had just arrived in front of him. Axel could see the braided hair and the gorgeous face of his sister-

Sister?

No. No. No. Why-

"You are not my sister." Axel gritted, and then a sudden pain jolted through his vein, causing him to let out a gasp. He could not feel any emotions. All he felt was pain and pain and pain and pain and-

"I know you're just a child." She looked down on him, staring coldly from her red eyes. Why was it red? What colour were her sister's eyes supposed to be again?

"I had hoped you didn't become a murderer like me." She uttered, almost too cold and had a gist of irritation in her voice, "From what I read, a child shouldn't be treated that way."

"Your sister is still learning the thing called emotions." She continued. She called herself his sister while she clearly not-

"I hope you'll be happy this way. Because my long friend said, it was the best emotion." Adreanna's sentence suddenly made Axel realize something.

Happy?

Emotions? She wanted him to feel happy?

But he-

Axel suffocated again, choking and gasping. He frowned and tried to think, tried to feel-

"But I don't feel anything, Adreanna," Axel muttered. There was a terror in his voice, and yet he could not feel any fear.

He looked up, staring at her emotionless eyes, realizing that he stared at her with the same emotionless ones.

"Why can't I feel anything?"

She tilted her head. There was a gist of something within her before she finally answered his question.

"Then maybe it's for the best."

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Axel woke up right when the sun vanished from the world. The blanket draped over him neatly, and his window's curtain was half shut.

It seemed like he overslept after he took a nap.

The clock was pointing at the number seven. He glanced at the window with a dull look. He probably needed to get up soon and fill his stomach. But he would worry about that later.

Though Axel could not feel any worry at all, maybe the feeling would come back later too.

He couldn't feel anything.

He went back to sleep.

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Axel ran out of the house, he kept running and running. His feet were bleeding and started to show some bruises from how long he had been sprinting away from his home.

Home?

Then he fell, and his skin cracked. He bumped his head as blood started to run down from his head.

He could not feel anything.

He could not feel pain anymore.

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Axel woke up right when the sun vanished from the world. The blanket draped over him neatly, and his window's curtain was half shut.

Should he get up?

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He walked into the kitchen, spotting three people. Kiaran was busy making the soup while Cain chopped the ingredients.

Adreanna sat on the chair, drinking her hot chocolate in silence. Food set out in front of her, filling all the four chairs' spots. Two hot chocolates and one coffee were there too, and Axel could see the steam coming out of them.

Though the three could not see Axel because he used his power to make him invisible. He flew past the wall and took the unused knife on the counter.

He went to stab Kiaran's neck.

Axel was not fast enough as Kiaran's wing countered his attack, throwing the knife away onto the floor with a loud clanking sound.

"I can see your plan through. You should think of something better." Kiaran smirked and looked over to Axel's body that slowly appeared.

"But still, that was a quite nice plan." He chuckled and ruffled Axel's fluffy hair. "I'm proud of you."

Axel stared at Kiaran's wing that had a little scratch within the fallen leathers. Something in his mind told him to not hurt his brother anymore.

And yet, he still couldn't feel anything.

"Sorry."

But he still apologized anyway.

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Axel woke up right when the sun vanished from the world.

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"This game is getting boring, Axel. Let's hang out instead. As a family." Kiaran said as he greeted Axel when he had just arrived at the kitchen.

Kiaran was still busy making the soup while Cain chopped the ingredients.

Adreanna sat on the chair, drinking her hot chocolate in silence. Food set out in front of her, filling all the four chairs' spots. Two hot chocolates and one coffee were there too, and Axel could see the steam coming out of them.

"Then just stop doing this and let me die." Axel could feel his voice start to fade away. Maybe he was tired.

Though weirdly, he couldn't feel the 'tired' part at all.

"Ah." Kiaran put the ladle down and smiled. "Then the whole point of the game will be useless, no?"

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Axel woke up again.

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"Just stop." Axel came to the kitchen.

He knew Kiaran was busy making the soup. He knew Cain was chopping the ingredients. He knew that Adreanna was drinking a hot chocolate.

Axel also knew he was slowly losing himself. He slowly lost the grasp of everything, the grasp of his leftover humanity. He lost his emotions. He lost his feelings.

And yet, his memory was persistent that the three of them were his family. And he needed to protect them just like how they would protect him.

He slowly lost the grasp of his memory too.

Though, he tried to cling to it again. He didn't want to forget his real self. He didn't want to forget his humanity. He didn't want to have this stranger's memory.

But time changed, and so did he.

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Axel never stopped waking up.

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"I'm going to complain to father this time. It seems like I haven't done that yet." Axel tugged Cain's sleeve, making the man stop his movement and put the knife down onto the cutting board.

Axel ignored how he referred to the demon as his own father. It just seemed right in his tongue.

In between his hazy gaze and corrupted memories, he uttered, "I fucking hate you, father."

He said that. Yet, he could not feel any hate nor feel anything.

His father smiled at him, low coo erupted from his throat. Ah, his mind told him to stare at that smile. His mind made him stare at that smile.

"I know." Cain widened his smile as his eyes made a crescent moon shape. The man hugged his broken son, and the said son let it happen. "But you'll learn how to love us again."

"But I've never loved you in the first place," Axel muttered, finding himself leaning to his father's touch. "It was the other me."

Cain kissed the top of Axel's head.. "And I'll make it only you."