Chapter 109 - Kiaran's Interlude : Part 2

It was his fourteenth birthday. Kiaran had just turned fourteen when he found out the ugly truth.

He sat in front of the house, staring at the empty street with a hollow daze. Axel used to sit here all the time until he fell asleep. Kiaran would be the one who brought the boy to his room before Axel could freeze to death.

Kiaran knew he had forgotten about his friend's promise and had been shoving down Cain and Adeanna's promises. The word 'wait for me' had become taboo for him.

But somehow, his body kept moving by itself. He unwantedly still participated in many plays, creating so many shows in his school years. A show that Cain would probably like. He would also still wait for Adreanna on his birthday like a fucking loser.

Like right now.

The young boy hugged himself, ignoring how cold the weather was. Kiaran had been waiting for the whole day, he even skipped school just to see if Adreanna would ever come for his birthday.

The bags under his eyes were too visible and too dark for a 14-year-old. He shivered a little when a wave of wind brushed past him. There was no moon outside. It seemed like it was about to rain.

He had told Axel to sleep early. He did not want the boy to see how pathetic he was for waiting like this. Kiaran had been raising the boy alone with no help from his father.

Cain always looked at Axel like he was the lowest being on earth. Unlike Kiaran, who was always overlooked and ignored by Cain, only receiving a few fake smiles once or twice, Axel had never received a single kindness from the man whether it was fake or not.

Cain blamed Axel for his mother's death. Kiaran knew it was not the boy's fault.

Even though he knew it was not Axel's fault, he still let his father blame Axel. Because deep down, he knew he blamed Axel too.

He raised the boy because he knew that his mother would want that. And that was it. He never cared about the boy at all.

Kiaran sighed and made a little fog from his breath. He gazed up at the sky and saw some thunder dancing around. He diverted his gaze to his watch, looking at how it had reached midnight already.

She missed this birthday too, huh.

He got up from his position and quickly got inside the house. He stormed around the house, not feeling like he wanted to sleep at any moment. Maybe he was just denying by pretending that Adreanna was a little late or something. He did not care anyway.

He glanced at the box behind the television and raised his eyebrows. Had that box always been there? Maybe Cain forgot to put it back to where it was supposed to?

Though the box was purple coloured. Kiaran had never seen that box before.

He shrugged and decided to open the box, peeking at what was inside. He frowned when he found a bunch of tapes with dates on them.

Out of curiosity, he took one of the tapes and put it on the tape recorder below the television. He turned the tv on and sat down on the sofa with a boring look on his face.

Kiaran widened his eyes when the video showed his mother when she was pretty young. He quickly jerked up and focused on the television.

"Cain has lost it. He isn't like how he was before. I know he is sad that his family had died, but I think he was too focused on revenge." She stated, staring at the camera with doe-eyed.

"He killed everyone. I'm okay with it. Really. But now that he has done everything for his revenge, he wanted to kill himself." She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself for a moment.

"I managed to stop him from jumping, but he- he always has this look in his eyes. A look of hatred. A look of loss." She explained while biting her lips. Though her face was still flat. Just like Adreanna's.

"I don't think I'm enough for him. But I hope that I will be enough." She dully stated. Though Kiaran easily caught the sadness in her tone. "I hope I can be the reason that he would survive."

"March nineteen, twenty-" The tape suddenly cut off before she could finish the sentence.

Kiaran quickly took another tape randomly and shoved it into the tape recorder. He wanted to see his mother's face again. He wanted to see her.

He watched her speaking to the camera, learning about every little thing she would say. He learned about her best friends, how she got a dare to approach Cain and finally learned how it feels to be in love.

She was so innocent. She was too pure.

Kiaran had shoved in another tape. He did not know how many he had watched already, but he just wanted to keep continuing.

"Adreanna, honey, where are you?" The video was shaking a lot. It was different from the previous ones. It seemed like she was running inside a forest.

"Adreanna? Mommy is worried. Can you tell me where you are?" She screamed, searching around the woods with a shaking voice.

"Adreanna? Is that you- oh my god." The camera fell from her hand and showed where she quickly approached Adreanna who was full of blood.

Adreanna deadly stared at her mother and showed the dead cat in her hand. Cecilia quickly hugged her without saying any word.

But then she suddenly stiffened as she looked behind Adreanna. Cecilia quickly shoved her daughter away and ran to the camera. She quickly turned it off while accidentally showing the thing behind Adreanna.

The tape ended like that.

Kiaran tilted his head and rewound the tape to see what made his mother tremble like that. He paused when the camera showed the thing behind Adreanna.

Then he chuckled with disbelieve.

It was a corpse. Not just a corpse but a bunch of corpses.

So she killed at that early age, huh? No wonder why she got to train with father all the time.

Kiaran took another tape and put it in. He had gone too deep, and his future self would hope that he hadn't.

It was this tape. The tape that changed Kiaran's whole perspective on everything.

"My daughter is a monster." The tape started with his mother's terrified face that made Kiaran frown. "She killed all the neighbours and-"

She took a shaky breath and stared at the camera with fear. "-and she killed her grandmother. My mother."

Kiaran slowly turned the volume down, not wanting Axel or anyone to hear the content of the video.

"She also killed my sister. Now I have nothing left. Only Cain and my son, Kiaran." She quickly brushed her tears, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"But the thing is, I think, I think Kiaran is a monster too. He is worst than Adreanna. He will be."

The remote in his hand fell down, and Kiaran could feel his whole world come crashing down. He knew he should stop listening, so why did he-

"He is a genius. He is way too smart. God, he is just a baby, but-" She wiped her face with her hands and trembled.

"-but he almost killed me."

What?

Did he?

Kiaran did not know how long he had stopped breathing. But it seemed like the air had gone and tried to suffocate him.

"Adreanna almost killed Kiaran's play date, and I shoved her out of panic. The night after the incident, my only son who I tried to raise normally, tried to shove me down the stairs."

"He planned this beforehand. I know it. He spilled his milk on top of the stairs and pretended to fall down. When I tried to catch him, he just jumped out of my hand and grabbed my feet."

"I fell and almost dropped down the stairs. Luckily, I managed to grab onto the bannister."

"And you know what he did? He laughed at me as if mocking me. It seemed like he was mad that I shoved Adreanna away."

She finished her story and bit her lips again. "He will kill more people than Adreanna. He might kill me too. I have been avoiding Adreanna and let her be with her father, but I can't avoid Kiaran."

"I have been pretending to forget that day and be a kind mother to him." She confessed, and Kiaran did not know that a tear had fallen down on his cheek while he was watching.

"I told Cain that I want another child. This time, I'm going to raise him and make him normal. I'm going to finally have a normal child."

The tape ended just like that.

Kiaran stared at the static screen without moving an inch. The tears kept falling down, and he just could not feel anything.

So all this time, she was pretending?

Ah.

"Ah. Hahahaha-"

Kiaran laughed loudly, manically. The obvious insanity etched in his voice as he kept crying and crying. Fucking pathetic.

He looked at the last tape in the box and snatched it. He put in the tape and played the video.

It was a video in the hospital. Was it recorded after she gave birth? Ah. Kiaran did not care. He just watched the video with two dull eyes.

"Axel. My son. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I just want you to know that I love you." She recorded herself with dishevelled hair and two tired violet eyes.

"I-" She coughed, and the camera fell from her hand. The video stopped at Adreanna who was coldly staring at her dying mother, quietly stood beside her bed.

"The doctor- Adreanna call the doctor, please-" She begged, and yet Adreanna just stared at her, unmoving.

There was a loud beep in the room. It kept going and blazing loudly while Adreanna just stayed silent.

The video stopped when the beep sound had stopped. Then Adreanna slowly left the room, leaving her dead mother alone.

It was not his fault.

He refused.

She died after giving birth to a son that she wanted. It was not his fault. It was Axel's-

But, it seemed like his mother was kind of afraid of him. Because Kiaran was too smart for a baby, for two years old.

His mother saw him like Adreanna. Seeing the similarity in her within him. She was an emotionless weapon, and he was an active weapon.

It was because of Adreanna.

She wanted to have a new child because of Adreanna. Because she was a murderer. She wanted a new child not because of him, it was Adreanna.

She died because of Adreanna.

Adreanna did not even call the doctor. It was all Adreanna's fault, and Kiaran just had to raise Axel normally and-

He just-

He just had to wait.

He had to wait for something, at least. He just had to wait for anything. He was not a monster he-

Just wait.

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Kiaran's bags under his eyes had become darker since that day. It had been a week and every day felt like a nightmare for him.

"Hey uh, Kiaran?" The younger hesitantly called. Hands fiddling with his bag as he tried to keep up with the older.

Kiaran ignored him. He did not have the time for him. God, couldn't Axel just leave him alone?

"Can we go to the amusement park sometimes? Maybe this weekend? Or- well, next week is okay too. I mean, it's not like it's really important, but it's just so huge, and everyone in the school was talking about it, and I-"

"Oh my god, Axel, can you shut your mouth for like a second?" Kiaran cut through his rambling.

"I have a really rough day, okay? Just- be silent." Continued Kiaran with a heavy sigh at the end of his sentence.

Axel's hands nervously moved around as he tried to explain more. "Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, it's just that I was wondering since we rarely go out together and you always forbid me to get out of the house so-"

"Oh my god, shut up!"

Axel was startled by the sudden yell and snapped his mouth shut. He bit his lips and mumbled an apology, quickly looking away.

Kiaran sighed and messed his own hair. "No, it's just- it's been really hard, okay? With dad gone, and didn't even answer any of my messages. And I have to take care of you while I can't really fucking take care of myself."

Axel stared at his own feet and nodded. Kiaran gave a quick glance and sighed again. "Just be silent for today, okay? I'm not in the mood to talk."

He was just tired. Axel got to be loved by his mother genuinely why all the times, Kiaran had been living in a lie.

Axel got to be normal, and it was unfair. Why did he have to be the one who wept over everything?

But then something interesting happened. They were caught by a man that day, pointing a gun at Kiaran. He thought it was just a bad day and let it slip.

But something changed.

Axel easily took down a man like how Adreanna did. Oh, how Kiaran wished mother saw her favourite child today. She would see a monster in him too.

Kiaran finally realized. He did not have to wait nor be something under someone, trying to reach for attention or affection by being a good boy, by trying to be a good boy.

If he wanted something, why didn't he just create it? He could just take everything he wanted in a story he made. He could be anything and receive everything in a play.

"You know, Axel. I'm kind of getting tired of getting left behind." He began with a melodic voice. There was a dangerous glint in it.

"So why don't we start our own things?" Kiaran put a hand on his shoulder and turned Axel's body to face the bleeding man on the floor.

He whispered something to the boy's ear and stared at how Axel took his first kill that day.

He would create a play.

✵✵✵✵✵✵

"Hello, mom." Kiaran visited the lovely grave that was surrounded by lavender. He stood before it, staring down at her mother.

"I'm here to tell you that I'm going to create a play. I'm going to be at the top of the world. I'm going to rule it in the shadow." The wind played with his hair a little while the boy tilted his head.

"You look at me as a monster anyway." He chuckled and smiled. "But you know what, I'm going to be worst than a simple monster. I'm going to be the devil."

"Sorry, mom, I know you'll hate me for this," Kiaran confessed easily, playing with the lavender in his hand. "You already hated me anyway. I'm sorry for that. I didn't know that I had tried to kill you, so I swear to you that I won't ever kill a single soul."

"I'm jealous of Axel. You want to make him have the best normal life." He sighed and put down the lavender to her grave. "But you know what? Everyone in this family is a fucking monster."

"Do you know that he just killed a man?" He taunted, eyes becoming more dangerous as they already were. "It's too late, mother. You can't have a normal child."

"Your so-called normal child is a monster in disguise." Kiaran let out a mocking laugh and exhaled affectionately. "I've been raising him for you."

"But now, I'm going to raise him the way I want to." He snapped the lavender that he was putting down in two.

"-to be a proper monster."

"He'll be the main character in the play that I created." Kiaran smiled for the last time before putting down the broken lavender to her grave.

"But you know I didn't mean to try to kill you- I just-" Kiaran bit his lips. "I will never kill, so you don't have to worry."

"I love you even though I know you didn't feel the same way." He choked back the lump in his throat and quickly turned around.

"Goodbye."

He bit his goodbye to his mother that day, knowing that he left his past self buried down with his mother's grave.

He had become the mercenary who never kills.