Chapter 123 - Tormented Dream

The darkness of night sets in.

Last night was torture as she ran circles through my mind as I sought the comfort of my bed. Never has one woman consumed my dreams in total ecstasy yet bringing me pain at the very same time. I could almost feel her delicate fingers running down my sculpted chest. She laid spread over my body in nothing but red lace, but yet all there was is an empty space that is only meant for her. Anastasia Santi has been my undoing in more than one way.

So with what can only be described as endless hours, I have been counting the seconds as they crawled in anticipation, I find myself waiting for her. I have never felt so much nervousness creep up my spine. My heart will simply fall into an abyss if she refuses me again. But even if she does, I will not give up until I have her in my arms once more. She has become my now, my present; she is the driving force that will determine what I do next.

Then I see her, she is wearing a leopard-print dress with…she is not wearing her red stilettos. Why is she not wearing her red stilettos? Should I be bothered? Should I even be looking at her in such a way?

But yet, her beauty still captivates me, the way she sways those hips as I see her disappeared between the crowd, the way her hair is waving over her shoulders, the way that body moves in perfect precision. But beauty only runs so deep; it is what is inside her that makes me want to run as far as I can away from her. The desire to take her into my arms and ease that pain that she feels, that I feel, it lays within me, but I shall rather be sucked into a black hole. She shall not have her way with me, not now, not ever again.

This raging battle in my mind does not go unnoticed, Edward, that had been listening to my tormented feelings, turns to me, "Sebastian, how long is this thing between you and Anastasia going to carry on?"

"I am afraid to say that this is how things will be from now on."

"But did you not apologize?"

"Yes I did, but the fact is that she does not want to listen. I went down on my knee and she rejected me like a fool. It is as if I meant nothing to her."

With that, the flood of emotions comes streaming but into the anguish of my mind, and as what I have learned for the past day, that whiskey does numb the pain and the memory. Well, that is if you consume it at a constant pace. But as I throw the shot to the back of my throat, I see her take a seat at a table with two other guys. There is that gorgeous smile playing on her face as she leans in and talks to them. That smile is only meant for me, she only smiles that way when I push her to pure moments of bliss. And now, now she is giving it so freely to a man that she does not know.

Edward, sees my irritation and gently rests his hand on my now trembling one that he knows is about to toss this glass over the room, "Sebastian it is not worth it."

Well, he does make a very good point, but it still does not make it better. And what makes this even beyond understandable is that she is supposed to be with me. But then yet again, she does not want to be with me. I need to remind myself that, I need to play that damn image over and over in pain that she rejected me.

So, here I am in absolute agony in this godforsaken pub, watching her laugh with another man. Another man, that now has casually set his arm on her chair and is wrapping his fucking grabby paws around her. Well, that shit does not shit here. Even before Edward can grab me by the arm, I am there, and I am there with a good damn punch in his goddam ugly face.

"Take your fucking hands off her."

"Sorry, man, I was just resting my arm."

"Resting your arm, do you want me to show you where you can rest that arm?"

"Damn man, just chill, I said I am sorry. Who the fuck do you think you are anyway?"

And yes, my temper blows out in full force, now this man can be glad that I left my dagger at home for I would have rested his head all over the floor. But in a flash, before she can even try to tell the guy to back off, I have him by the collar, "Sebastian Belmont, that is who I am."

With that, I toss him over the table and walk away. Fuck this.

I take my bottle of whiskey and make my way back home, where I will still be able to see her, she just won't go away. Even though every part of my body screams that I should just stay away, I cannot find myself doing so.

So as I step through the door of the study, I fall back into the black leather chair, spinning myself around. An immediate anger sets over me, I need to stop this. I cannot obsess over a woman that I can clearly not stand at this very moment and let us not forget that this very woman wants nothing to do with me in return. As I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts, I hear a soft knock on the door.

As I spin around, I find Anastasia standing in all her glory, has she come to her senses? Is she here to give us another chance? And when she speaks I am waiting in anticipation.

"Sorry, I was looking for Edward."

"Is there something that I can help you with?"

"No, it is fine."

"Anastasia, I wish…" I immediately stop the very thought that was about to leave over lips that cannot be trusted now.

But then she steps into the study, somewhat hesitating, though there seems to be something on her mind. This sets my heart full of hope and desire again. And that very angel voice that can peak me to an utter mess softly fills the corner of the room, "Can I just get that book up there in the corner?"

"Of course."

As I lean back in the chair, I cannot but help study her intensely. She is still not wearing her red stilettos; in fact, she is not wearing any shoes at all. Why on earth am I finding it so goddamn sexy.

In an instant, I find myself behind her. She turns around to face me; there is clear confusion in her eyes. Underneath this raging animal, there is a fire waiting to be released. I tangle my hands in her hair and seek the softness of her lips. With every wink, I pull her closer, and then I pull away. I taunt and tease, slowly claiming her as mine.

The carnal desire to feel that raw passion takes over my body. I clear the entire contents of the desk onto the floor, the whiskey glass falls and shatters to pieces. I grab her ankles and slide her closer. With gentle but tremble hands, I lay her back on the table.

I stare into her blue eyes. She arches her back and pushes herself into my raging erection. Her body whimpers and begs to be touched.

"Sebastian."

As she says these words, I feel a sharp bolt shoot straight through my heart, knowing that she will give me everything that I desire. My mind says no, but my body says yes; how can one have what you desire within arm's reach but not want it at the same time. Then all reasoning steps out the door.

Her arms clasp around my neck as she needs to have my body closer. My body jerks at first, but then I allow myself to give in. The thought of her naked body fuels the raging fire within me; she consumes my body. It is not her lips that I reach for; my tongue finds the sensitive parts below her ear. The moan that escapes her lips awakens an even greater longing for her body and soul. The touch of her skin against my tongue sends a fiery passion throughout my core. I cannot keep my self-control any longer, my mouth finds her lips, and I prepare to take her, take every bit that I can have. It's like a battle raging in my mouth as my every stroke is aimed to make her body quiver.

Her hands unlock behind my neck, and they are moving all over. First down my shoulders, then down my chest, I can feel my heart pounding beneath my flesh. Her touch sends my blood racing as she moves further down to my waist. My body freezes, and for a moment, I stop breathing, then her hand reaches between my thighs, finding my erection. A growl escapes my lips.

Then, she pulls away, "Stop, I cannot do this."

With that she is gone, leaving my body cold and once again rejected.

And somehow it feels like I have been here before.

I slowly start to open my eyes, and it all comes flooding back to me.

"Anastasia!"

Then.

The darkness of night sets in.