Chapter 117

“How romantic. A man suddenly appeared from nowhere when she was in danger and proposed after saving her.”

“Romantic? Yeah, I guess it can be seen that way for others, but not for me. I was desperate. Because I knew the moment she let go of me, I would go from the bright, warm world colored with emotions back down to the dark, quiet underworld of a sociopath.”

But she accepted his feelings. Giving one’s heart and receiving another back. It was an exchange of emotions that everyone else experienced naturally, but for Ian, it was his first time, and it felt like a miracle.

“Rumors spread throughout the Raptors. Something along the lines of War God Ashfield’s heartfelt confession! People talked about it, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. No, I rather wanted to go out and yell back to them. You all are right! That woman accepted my feelings! …I wanted the entire world to know it. To me, someone who was deaf and blind, Molly, was a masterpiece, an orchestra! She helped me see the world from an entirely different perspective! With her next to me, I… was able to see the world through her eyes.”

Gyosu watched as Ian waved his arms around, describing his deceased wife. He’d seen the man’s smiling face, his crying face, and the various expressions between hope and despair, but it was his first time seeing his face look so dreamy. Knowing better than anyone else that only pain was waiting for him at the end of this story, the man was still immersed in joy, just imagining the past memories.

The memory of when he desperately tried to think of a date plan consisting of what he thought women liked before their first date.

The memory of debating on which color of necktie to wear during the strategy meeting until one of his subordinates interfered.

The memory of the day when she looked tired, him nonchalantly asking her if she wanted to ‘come over to his place to rest,’ thinking of the efficient and ideal resting environment he had set at home, but instead making her face redden like a tomato.

The memory of when she came out of the bathroom genuinely planning to ‘rest’ and how he needed to take care of her after hyperventilating.

The memory of spring. On the day he raised up her white veil and promised her a future, under the cheers of his only friend, Gustav, and his other subordinates.

The memory of winter. On a miraculous day, with neither sandstorm nor blizzard, their daughter, Leoni, was born. Leoni Desmont. His wife had been crying tears of joy.

Every single time a memory encased in a bright bubble of sunlight passed by his eyes, Ian’s face was etched with a warmer expression.

Dreams. Days that were just like a blissful dream.

His past memories were like a stream that couldn’t be stopped once it started to flow. Even knowing that what awaited at the end was an ocean of pain.

“It was the happiest time of my life. When I was with her, I wasn’t the empty-hearted, explosive maniac Ashfield, but the human called Ian. But… the more I became a human next to her, the more I was in pain and became weaker.”

P-p-plop—

Hahhhh.

Ash was scattered at the tip of the burning cigar. Living as a person. In exchange for that happiness, Ian had to face his past. Not as Ashfield, but from the perspective of the human Ian.

The Raptor society was savage, but their savagery had rules.

Taking the basic structure from the military, there was a soldier rank, a platoon commander, a company commander, a battalion commander, and above that, a Pack Leader, then Swarm Alpha.

The reason why the unique ranks of Pack Leader and Swarm Alpha were created was because of the strong recommendation of the Raptor Society’s first Leader, Gustav Al Harb.

‘Water rots eventually when it doesn’t flow, and it’s easy for the higher-ups to become indolent. The heads of the Raptor always need to maintain a sharp spirit, like a new blade. In that sense, the highest ranks, Pack Leader and Swarm Alpha, will be separated from the existing rank system and have a separate system for promotion.’

The qualifications were simple. They followed the Raptor’s main essence.

You kill and take it.

When you kill the Pack Leader, you become Pack Leader, and the same goes for the Swarm Alpha. An upfront challenge or assassination were both permitted. All means except poisoning were accepted. It was a ridiculous rule that could lead to the foundation of the group itself collapsing, but surprisingly, it wasn’t a common occurrence for the Swarm Alpha and Pack Leader to change.

‘Anything was allowed. So if they were challenged head-on, the peak-level soldiers assigned as the Swarm Alpha’s personal guards and the tanks, armored vehicles, and combat vehicles assigned to them would be beyond the caliber that a battalion commander-level force could handle. If they also recruited a Noisy Pack to run a radar on three shifts, then surprise attacks using explosives or snipers could mostly be warded off as well.’

In the end, the easiest way to challenge the Swarm Alpha was to create a force as strong as the Swarm Alpha. Of course, it wasn’t common for attempts to happen either. Since having the title of Swarm Alpha was proof that they had built the strongest force. Unless they revealed a weakness, there was no fool who would risk his life to fight like that. As evidence that backed that up, there were only about four challenges to ever happen since the Raptor Society was created, and even those were all to Pack Leaders, and none to the Swarm Alpha. Until Ian got married.

After gaining a family in just one and a half years, Swarm Alpha Ian Desmont was challenged twice. He of course killed them all, but he lost quite a few of his personal guards.

And today, he was facing his third challenge.

“I’m sorry, Ashfield.”

“…Carter. I thought I’d gone through quite a bit with you.”

“But you are a completely different person from back then. There’s nothing as foolish as staying on a sinking ship. You were the one who told us. It’s only when you throw away emotion that the path clears up.”

“Heheh, we’re merely doing what we were taught, Ashfield sir. We only want to keep fond memories of you, so please don’t try to struggle, heheheheh…”

“Sol… Carter, Ashley. Have you all betrayed me?”

Ian, too, could feel he had weakened. Every time he returned home and saw Molly greet him with a warm smile, every time he saw Leoni in her arms, he couldn’t escape from the thought that the people he burned up in the past also had families like these to greet them.

At some point, Ian stopped killing all of the captured prisoners. It was revealed that the Dome’s spy was among the prisoners that escaped.

He started to use risky plans a lot less as well. He was still a great commander, but to the personal guards who knew his past self, they couldn’t erase the feeling that he wasn’t ‘completely burning up’.

And the result of that was the current reality, where his own personal guards were facing him, standing alongside the enemy.

“Hwack-tu! You spineless bastards! You can’t even count the times Commander Ashfield saved your asses, and you’re running away with your tails tucked because just a few of them died!”

“Kenichi, you really plan on staying there? Knowing how high Commander Tuiqo considers you?”

“Why don’t you just go f— yourself, Carter? I’d rather die right here than lick that bastard’s ass!”

Tuiqo Brahe. He had severely disliked Ian, and that led him all the way here. The Pack Leader didn’t realize, and the significantly large number of troops considering he was only a Pack Leader told him that these people were all on that man’s side. A Swarm Alpha could personally control about five tanks and several more combat vehicles. The personal soldiers that betrayed him were also on his side, whereas on the other hand, he had only a handful of his personal soldiers left and a single combat vehicle. But even among them, aside from Kenichi and a few others, the rest of the soldiers were barely trained enough to be called soldiers.

With not even the Noisy Pack left to defend him, the reason they chose an upfront challenge instead of an assassination was probably to mock his collapse.

“But as one of the founding members of the Raptor Society, I’ll give you a chance to attack first! Why don’t you start, Ashfield? I’m not sure you’ll be able to shoot even a single shot at this rate! Won’t that shot be the start of your execution? Hahahah!”

“Of course I will… I’d have to end this quickly so I don’t lose the ones that I sent ahead first!”

Amidst the taunting words from the nameless Pack Leader that came from the comms of an enemy tank, the voice of an obese man who had once been his guard flowed through the speakers.

“Heheheh! We learned this from Commander Ashfield as well! Leave no regrets behind— They were a beautiful wife and daughter. It seems that you took notice and hid them, but why’d you bother when all you know how to do is blow things up?”

“…”

“You’ll have to be extra nice to them when you meet them again. I sent the worst bastards I know to them! Since that b—* was the one that ruined our respectable Ashfield, I told them to behave properly! Treat them to a full-course arrangement like they would a Dome associate! Hahahahahah!”

Crackkk!

The plastic receiver was unable to withstand Ian’s strength and broke down. The slower they retreated, the closer the opponent got. Their position had changed a lot because of the traitors, but this should be enough. There was no more time to delay.

Ian picked the broken receiver, now filled with static, back up.

“You… learned well.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t spare you even if you cry and beg on your knees! Puhuhuhu!”

“Yes. It would be difficult to keep me alive after coming this far.”

Ian took out a small switch and a detonator from his pocket.

“Two challenges. And over dozens of kidnappings and assassination attempts against my wife and child. They couldn’t just sit and watch such a clear weakness go untouched. Because that’s how Raptors are. That’s how this organization was created.”

But before the title as Swarm Alpha, before having personal guards, Ian Desmont was a man. He was a man who started as a mercenary from a foreign land and ultimately gained the title Ashfield.

He was weakened, but not once did he become an idiot.

“Let me teach you one last thing.”

“Bulls—, still acting confident as…”

“Don’t hasten your step into the enemy’s territory.”

Clack!

When he pressed the switch in his left hand, a blue shell all too familiar to the Raptors appeared. With a deep color, it was a high-output shield that they looted from the enemy officials. And the detonator in his right hand was one that triggered hundreds of high-explosive bombs that Ian, whose power had definitely diminished in the previous two battles, had buried in advance to reduce his side’s casualties in any sort of way.

Its firepower was going to be more than enough to break the enemy’s forces and to fling away the combat vehicle that was depending on just a single shield.

‘I originally prepared this to take down the enemy with me and create an opening to escape for the others…’

“It’s funny, really. That I’m going to use the preparations I created to protect you all to kill you.”

“Huh? What’s that…?”

Press—

.

.

.

.

The speaker on the other side of the call was unable to finish his sentence. A massive explosion erupted in a quiet location in the Wastelands.

Zzzzt— thump! Zzzzt—

He was a mess, but he could still manage to move. The unexpectedly large number of enemies acted as a wall to block the blow of the explosion.

Winter… It was a season where the Nest stopped moving and withstood the cold through the heat from its internal combustion engine. The perfect time to sneak out. He checked out a shelter located in a spot no one else knew about. More than enough for a family of three to live together. He just had to go over this hill to get home. Just over this hill…

“Ah, aaaahh…”

Ian couldn’t believe what he was seeing, even though his two eyes were looking at it. No, he didn’t want to believe it. It was all just an illusion. His brain had taken a big hit from the explosion and was just showing him delusions. A nightmare that would disappear like smoke with just a wave of his hand!

But every single step forward only made it clearer.

The pillar that stood in front of the shelter had the word ‘traitor’ written on it in a dark, crimson color.

The dress that he had gifted was fluttering in the wind. She was crucified like a criminal.

“M-Molly… Honey!!!”

He tossed his cane aside and hurriedly limped his way toward her.

Thud!

Someone tripped on his foot.

“It’s quite a sad sight to watch, my friend.”

It was a familiar voice, but he didn’t have time to turn his head. Through the immense pain, Ian continued to crawl forward. It was just a moment, but she moved for sure! She raised her head! She’s still alive. Her, and his daughter wrapped in the sack around her body. They’re still ali—

Click—

Baaaaaangggg!

A flash. Then an explosion. Everything happened clearly in front of his eyes. Flames flew out from the inner side of the shelter. The walls collapsed as they were enveloped by the billowing flames, then his wife in front of…

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

Thump!

“AAAAGHHH! AAAGGHHH! AAAHHHH!!!”

Thump! Thump! Thump!

They were all gone. The shelter, the pillar, and his wife and child that had been on that pillar!

Collapsing on the ground, Ian slammed his fist down on the ground once, twice, no, countless times. No matter how much he cried out, no matter how hard he swung his fist to the point its bones broke, the burning pain inside of him did not disappear. His world was starting to lose color. As if it were burning away into ashes with the only things that mattered in his life.

“You seem to be in pain, Ashfield. What a shame.”

Thud, thud, thud.

The man who tripped him walked in front of him.

“Gustav… Raptor!”

“To think that I lost the man that I believed to be my most valuable tool like this.”

“Why… did you…? You have nothing to gain from killing me!”

“Oh, my my. It seems that your judgment is clouded right now, but try to think carefully. I re~ally do not want to kill you. Rather, I liked that you now had a weakness that could let me handle you to my liking. But the problem was that you had much too high a position within the Raptors. To the point that the outsiders thought of your face when they thought about the Raptors.”

Clink—

The bullet he flicked up with his thumb landed playfully back in Gustav’s hands.

“The Raptor Society has to be the symbol of violence and fear. You have played that part well until now. A manic bomber who made everything in their path into ashes, regardless of who they were! But now? Look at yourself. It was just two people, two! It can’t be considered even a speck of dust compared to the number of people that you killed until now, but you’re yelling and crying over them! If someone saw you this broken, they’re going to think, ‘Ah, even the cold-blooded Desmont has a humane side! Raptors are humans too, after all!’ and treat us softly.”

Ian thought about it. Why his past self considered this man his friend.

Gustav Al Harb. This man was able to laugh, cry, and interact with others just like a normal person, but he had the same cold blood that ran through Ian in the past. One that was not unable to feel emotions, but one that chose not to share them.

“So… that’s why it ended this way. The Raptors need to continue ruling as a symbol of fear. Don’t blame me too much. There’s a saying that people use when they bid farewell. ‘Let’s only remember the good parts.’ Let the two of us do the same. End it cleanly while everyone still considers you the embodiment of destruction. I hope you like your funeral. It’s a virtue to drive a lead bullet into the head of a dying comrade in the Wastelands, after all. Just for you, a special friend of mine, I combined the two elements that Ian Desmont loved throughout his life. A loving family, and explosions. Just how you like it, right?”

Click!

A gun’s barrel shadowed over the head of the kneeling man.

“This hurt me too as well. I thought it would be a fleeting emotion, but it had ruined you so much. It was a relief that I turned the handle this way after hearing that Shortie failed. It was unexpected, really! Your wife was a fighter! Although pretty wounded, she finished about half of the guys that had been sent. With my praise, I dealt with the rest of them and personally pinned her up on that pillar myself. She was an alluring woman, but she was still the sinner who brought my comrade into this state. She needed to be punished.”

Ian slowly crawled towards the man. His moans and cries had stopped at some point. All he could do was imagine his fragile lover fighting to the death with the Raptor’s soldiers, then having Gustav drag her to the pillar after watching the battle like it was a television show. Every single time he thought of that, heat raced through his stiff limbs.

“Sin… punishment, you say…”

“Indeed. Just how many people did you kill up to this point, Desmont? How many of them are innocent? A thousand? Two thousand? I hope you weren’t expecting to meet your end in a warm and comfy bed being blessed by the ones you love.”

“Keh, heheheheh… Right. You are right… Keheheheh…”

Crawling all the way up to Gustav’s feet, Ian clung to the man as if hugging him, positioning his temple right in front of the muzzle as if begging to be killed.

“I’ve had a dream, Gustav… That maybe… maybe I could live as a human… next to her…”

“It was the worst mistake you made in your life.”

“Keh, heheheh! You’re right… to think that I, a murderer of thousands, hoped for a peaceful life, was foolish… It’s right for me to die miserably like this.”

Press—

Swaying, Ian leaned his head against the gun’s barrel. He could instinctually feel that she was now completely gone. Because the fabulous colors that she painted into his life were crumbling back into a dull gray.

“It’s right… for a sinner to die.”

Just one. Just one color stayed behind. A crimson color. His entire world was blotted with red. Just like her dress, which had been dyed red.

Ian’s hands clung to Gustav’s shoulders like they were about to crumble. Dangling on one of his fingers was a safety pin.

“You… crazy bastard!”

“Sinners… have to die miserably!”

Using every last drop of strength he had left, Ian lunged for the man’s throat.

The muzzle that had been pointed at him had shot out fire…

.

.

.

.

.

And there was a small explosion on top of the burning hill.

Creaak—

Creaak—

“Ah, are you awake? I thought I should just bury you. But you have stronger vitality than I thought.”

The first thing that came into Ian’s eyes when he regained consciousness was the cheap white LED light creaking above him, a green cloth, and a room full of surgery equipment.

“Uh, urghhh…”

“Ahh, don’t talk. The implant on your top jaw is still a little loose. Although, you can’t talk anyway because I didn’t connect the bottom jaw.”

Drrrrr, drrrrrrrk!

From a silver cart full of equipment covered in blood, the man grumbled as he picked up one of the tools.

“Just my luck. I was about to retire and start a brand new life, but suddenly, just a block away, boom, explosions. Gunshots. And a bunch of guys from the Dome. I hid nearby to find out what was happening. You… You were trying to die with that guy in the coat, right?”

“…Uhh, eurhh.”

Ian turned his vision to the mirror hanging on his left. What he could see in the cracked mirror was a man with a drooping tongue and all sorts of prosthetics replacing where his jaw had been blown off. It took a while for him to realize that he was looking at his own face.

“I was watching from the top of the tree over there next to the hill. The magnum that was aimed at your head blew your jaw off because you suddenly moved. And looking at how there was a blue glint of light just before the grenade exploded, the guy in the coat probably had a reaction shield on him. That absorbed most of the explosion’s damage. It’s thanks to that guy that you were able to get off with a few broken ribs and some fragments here and there. The coat guy looked like he was hurt more than you, but he was still alive. Those lizard bastards carried him away in a car. And I brought you here after checking that they all left.”

“Eurrh, urhh…”

“Me? I don’t know why I tried so hard, either. Kekeke! I was just deciding to quit killing people and start a new life, maybe pick up my old dream of becoming a doctor, and what do you know? There’s a half-dead corpse right in front of me. I did it because I wanted to. It doesn’t mean much.”

Woojin tightened the man’s prosthetics. He didn’t have anything rare like anesthetics, so the man should have been wide-awake, but the man was just blankly staring at something as if he couldn’t feel the pain at all.

“Ah, this? I sorted through the house a bit while you were asleep. I went in to check if there was anything useful, but the shenanigans with the fire and explosions turned everything to ashes, aside from a few metal scraps. That one’s the only one that looked usable out of them. Is it yours?”

Ian’s hand tightly clenched around the scorched metal shrapnel on the tray.

It wasn’t his. On the day the first kidnapping attempt happened, Ian handed an assortment of weapons to his spouse, who hated guns.

‘I said I don’t want it!’

‘Molly, I’m not telling you to kill anyone. It’s just so that you can protect yourself.’

‘But it’s loaded with real bullets!’

‘T-this is… a sort of decoration! Here, look! It has our names engraved on it too! It looks like a toy…’

‘Aack! That’s even worse! Why does it always have to be something like guns when there are so many good things in the world?’

.

.

.

.

He wanted her to have a means to protect herself in any way possible. The pistol that looked more like a toy that he picked out especially for her. The Dreinger with the initials I and M engraved on its grip, which stands for Ian and Molly.

Click!

He pulled the trigger, pointing at the roof of his open mouth. The striker hit empty air. But he checked; there were bullets inside…?

“Tch. Committing suicide just after I saved you. Not even a thank you. That’s an empty shell. Whoever owned that thing, they emptied out the gunpowder inside the two bullets.”

To the man’s comment, Ian opened the Derringer’s chamber. Inside the empty copper bullet shells were pieces of paper instead of gunpowder.

[Think it over one more time!]

Along with the small note was a capsule-type hemostatic.

It was her handwriting. Thinking it over. Over what exactly? Pulling the trigger?

“Kah! Khh! Khhhk! Khhhhh! Auhhh! Keuhh!”

He couldn’t breathe. He could clearly envision in his mind the woman carefully handling his gift like it was some sort of poison, then taking out the bullets and emptying the gunpowder. It was so funny that he couldn’t help but laugh.

A blank bullet with his and her names engraved on it. Hemostatic. Her message was clear. Before killing the person in front of her, think it over one more time. To try her best to save them. Just like how she tried her best to save everyone in the hospital ward.

“…Call me once you’ve calmed down. There’s a bell next to you.”

“Keuhhuhuh! Heuhhhh! Hehahhahah! Heuhhhh!”

That day, inside the shelter of the small basin where the Raptors had been, a manic laughter that could be seen as both a laugh and a cry continued to ring out into the world. Ian laughed until he fainted from exhaustion. The next time he regained his senses, Ian decided to obey her orders. Woojin said that Gustav was still alive. So, there was still a reason for him to live. Dying… was to be left as a second thought until he destroyed the Raptor Society, a mistake that he created with his own hands.

Clack.

Ian opened the Derringer on the table. There was one bullet with a note and hemostatic, and one new bullet with his name engraved on it.

“And like that, I survived. There were a lot of times I wanted to die, but my wife’s last words stopped me every time. I hung out with Old Man Woojin a lot after that happened. The old man opened up a hospital in Area 43, and I settled down there too. Just like she said, there are a lot of good things in this world. Now… I think I’ve mostly gotten over it. The pain didn’t disappear, but I’ve stacked a lot of other things on top of it.”

“Sniff!”

“It wasn’t that pleasant of a story to hear, was it? My bad, I got a bit emotional there…”

“Psfhhht!”

“…Are you good?”

“Euwahhh! It… It’s so sad…schnrghh!”

“D-don’t worry! You’re a great guy! I’m sure that she’ll be watching over you in Heav…eughhh!”

The others had already created an ocean of tears. Vex, who was the first one to start sniffling, was asleep with dried tear marks down his cheeks; Ezel was just downright sobbing; and even Gyosu was unable to endure the last part and burst into tears.

“Keheheh. I should have gone easy on you, kiddos. Well, it’s good to see that my story wasn’t boring to hear. Let’s clean up and go back in now. Oy, Koduro!”

“Huahhhh—! N-new mast—euwahhh—!”

“Why’s a machine crying…? The other guys aren’t in good shape, so take care of them. I’m going back in.

“Will— execute— comma—dsnf— sleep well s—ierghk!”

Shaking his head, Ian left the ocean of tears behind to dry up and went into the shelter. Holding the derringer preciously in one hand.

Tzt— Tzzt—

[EZ-007. Connection stable. Answer, EZ-007]

“Sgnnf! H-Headquarters. This is E-Ezel. Connection stable—gghf!”

[Confirmed. Report the operation detail—]

“Snnf! Manager Mon… Let’s… Let’s erase that.”

[W-what… Hey, this is going in the records! Don’t use names!]

Ralph’s bewildered voice trickled out of the comms device.

Their purpose was to get out of that chaos with the Administrative Branch and budge into the trio’s afterparty. Ezel was their friend, but what Ralph and he discovered was too shocking for him to just come to have a drink with them.

“So let’s just erase it! Investigation report! Metal Jaw— Ian! Is a kind, sad man! Like no other in the world…!”

[Hey! You can’t just jump to conclusions like that! He’s a Swarm Alpha! The highest-ranking official in the Raptors! And one that went missing too, that not even the Dome could find! Do you know how surprised I was when I got the communication log from the armored car? This information in itself is more than enough justification to drop a bomb on top of the BDSM’s shelter!]

Obviously, the armored vehicle in which Ian communicated with Sol Amar was also among the armored vehicles that the Dome captured.

One of the first things to do after capturing the enemy’s equipment was obviously to extract any remaining information left inside the equipment. Ralph merely did that, heard Ian and Sol’s conversation, and was immediately about to head to the Director when he was caught by Ezel.

‘Let go! This isn’t some matter that you can hide for friendship!’

‘But there’s no proof that they’re the same person! Whatchama call it, bluffing? It might be bluffing! The thing that Gyosu Park does a lot!’

‘Just look at their conversation! There’s no other evidence that can be clearer than…’

‘Then I’ll go look into it! They were just talking about having a drink when they got back, so let’s decide after we see what this is actually all about!’

And so that was why Ezel was included in the trio’s drinking party. In order to record his entire past into a small recorder and decide whether Ian was an ally or foe.

Tzzt—

Through the comm, came out Ian’s calm voice that Ian secretly recorded. With words slightly slurred, came out the story of a man’s life.

[…]

“Ian Desmont, the man called Ashfield, died on that day. What’s left here is just Metal Jaw, an alcohol and cigar enthusiast with a weird laugh.”

[…F—. Why doesn’t a single thing you’re involved in end easily?]

Ralph let out a deep sigh.

[…Go sleep now. You’ve done your part.]

“Please, Manager Mon.”

Ralph’s frown deepened at the last words that Ezel said. Please. Ezel Raiden, the hardheaded idiot who doesn’t give two s—s about anyone else’s opinion and has the absurd achievement of writing the most letters of apologies, pleaded with him.

Crack!

[…Pay me back for this later, Ezel.]

Pieces of the crumbled data chip fell out of Ralph’s hand.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know via our discord so we can fix it as soon as possible.