Chapter 6: Just a Dream

Adeline saw her in her dreams. She saw her sapphire eyes, darkened in anger and hatred. The girl's face twisted into a disgusted sneer as Adeline looked around. Darkness was surrounding her on all sides, and all she could see was the pale blonde woman . . . Zoë.

"Adeline Manson," Zoë practically purred with resentment and anger. "What a surprise it is, to see you here."

Adeline stared at the girl that had once been her friend. The Zoë she knew was so sweet and innocent, but this Zoë wasn't that girl. This she-wolf was a stoic statue of constant rage, and something else. But those emotions weren't good ones; the emotion flashing across Zoë's face was a pure testament to her hatred. She looked like a cat who had just caught the mouse by its tail and was dangling it over a pit of serpents. The girl knew something that Adeline didn't.

Adeline opened her mouth to respond, but as her mouth was forming words, no sounds came out. Zoë's face split into a smug grin.

"You've had dreams before, Addy," She cooed, "You know that you have no real power. You are the chess piece, and I'm the player. I own you."

"Because you are a monster." The she-wolf drawled as she approached. "Monsters don't deserve peaceful sleep, they don't deserve happiness... You don't deserve happiness."

"No!" Adeline barked. "Haven't I already paid enough for my crimes?! I spent the last three years of my life alone and depressed! Isn't that a punishment enough?!"

Adeline felt hot tears streak down her cheeks, and her vision was blurry, but she could still see Zoë in front of her. As if a thousand moons were covering her flesh, the she-wolf seemed to tower over her, even though Zoë was only barely taller than her.

Zoë had a dark vibe around her, even in a dream-like state, that Adeline had to stop herself from turning tail and running. Alphas don't run, Adeline told herself as the adrenaline pulsed through her. But she wasn't an Alpha; no. She was a monster. She was exactly what Zoë and everyone else thought of her. A monster.

"You think spending a few years of isolation is that bad?!" Zoë howled with fury. "Try spending it for the rest of your life!"

The she-wolf turned her face as if someone had just slapped her. The claw marks were as bright as day. Starting at her right temple, the three jagged lines traveled just under her right eye, across her cheekbone, and over her lips before ending abruptly at her chin.

"You made me this way." Zoë hissed, her voice dark and cold. "You made me this way!"

I made her this way, Adeline thought as the claw marks sliced through her mind just like they had on Zoë's face. They embedded deep inside Adeline's mind, just like they had on Zoë. She would never forget the pain and rage twisting Zoë's disfigured features.

I made her this way. Adeline thought as she fell to her knees. Placing a hand on her heart, Adeline bowed her head in shame as sobs shook her frame. Adeline didn't care that this was just a dream; she didn't care that she had just put herself below the she-wolf. Hell, Adeline didn't care that she was breaking down in front of someone that wished her death.

"You deserve so much worst," Zoë growled. "You should be rotting in hell; you should be beaten and starved, then forced to endure it again and again until you can't take anymore. You deserve worse than death."

Adeline's ears were met with a loud silence. She didn't need to raise her head to see if the mental projection of Zoë was still there, Adeline could feel her presence. The presence of the she-wolf, whether it be mental or physical, was like standing next to a psychopath about to lose it; Adeline could feel her rage and hatred.... her unstableness.

"I- I'm sorry." Adeline moaned out in pain. Raising her head, she looked up at the woman who had once been her best friend. "I am so sorry."

Zoë's pale, glowing face was void of emotions. "I hate you."

Adeline's eyes widened as the body before she disappeared in a flash of light so bright, it left her blinking back spots. Zoë's lack of presence left Adeline alone in the dark depths of her mind. Sometimes, the scariest thing she faced, was her own mind. Unlike others, her mind was twisted and demented. Some could blame it on the beast, but Adeline knew better. She was touch and socially deprived.

Wolves were very social creatures, and with that came certain needs that had to be met. Physical touch was one of the most important; and physical touch didn't just refer to the connection of two bodies, but to the hugs of affection between pack mates, playful fighting, high-fives, even handshakes. In the past three years, Adeline rarely allowed anyone, let alone packmates, to touch her in fear of losing control. She always kept everyone at an arm's distance.... or at least tried too. Sometimes her parents would sneak up on her, and other times, they had no choice but to make contact with her flesh.

Adeline deprived herself of touch to protect others, but while she was trying to protect others, she was hurting herself.

"Adeline Manson." A soft, feminine voice called out in the darkness. Lifting her head, Adeline scanned the blackness with narrowed eyes; her body was tense as a humming like sound surrounded her. It wasn't an unpleasant sound, if anything, it was just a tad annoying.

"Adeline Manson, daughter of Alpha Dillon, and Luna Alexandra Manson; future Luna of the Southern Pack, located in the United States of America." The voice generated a kind of power that rubbed Adeline the wrong way. She didn't know if she knew the speaker, but for all she knew, she could have picked up the voice while watching television, but something in her told her that she did indeed know the speaker.

"Who- Who are you?" Adeline asked, praying that her voice wasn't shaky from her break down. The humming paused for a moment as if it were connected to the mind of the mysterious voice. Weird, Adeline thought as the darkness around her seemed to be lifting.

"Who are you?!" There, she sounded more demanding, more fierce.

"I am the one you fault." The voice was slow and gentle, sad even. But Adeline could feel that the voice her deranged mind had created, cared for her. 'This is ridiculous', she thought, shaking her head. 'Voices in my mind aren't real, they can't care for someone. Especially someone like me'. Yet, something whispered in the back of her mind that this voice was indeed real; that the speaker was a true, powerful being.

'The one I fault?' Adeline pondered as the darkness around her faded into a silvery white.

'What is my mind referring to?' She thought. 'My parents? Packmates?.... Me?' Adeline knew that no one sounded like this voice, at least no one she knew, and she was sure as hell that the voice wasn't hers; but it sounded so damn familiar. Why did it sound so familiar?

Pulling herself up onto her feet, Adeline looked around, trying to locate the owner of the sound. Her eyes scanned the solid silver nothingness around her, but it seemed that she was the only person or creature present.

'This is just a dream, just a dream.' Adeline told herself as her stomach twisted nervously. She didn't like being in an unknown environment, it made her anxious and jumpy; even though this was a dream, she was still wary.

"The one I...." Adeline's voice trailed off as her mind made the connection. "You!"

The humming picked back up again. The silver emptiness around her dropped into an almost blinding white as Adeline spun around, trying to find the woman she despised. Her body pulsed with adrenaline and her eyes glowed, but she was still so heavy. Guilt and grief weighed her down, even in the real world. It was so heavily distributed on her shoulders, that at times she feared that she would fall and never get back up.

"You blame me and others for life's problems." The Moon Goddess's voice was stern and powerful, but somehow, it was still gentle and caring. Her voice was taking on a teaching quality; it was as if the goddess were speaking to her daughter. That thought alone made Adeline's lips curl up into a snarl. The Moon-Goddess was known as the mother of all wolves, because thousands of years ago, she created them; but Adeline didn't worship her. No... Adeline would never worship her.

"Why do you blame me?" The Goddess's voice had no hint of accusation in it, but instead, it sounded like concern and a tinge of amusement. That only made Adeline want to strangle her, then dance on her corpse even more.

"Why?" The voice asked again.

"Because you are letting me suffer; you aren't saving me. You're doing nothing." Adeline snarled at the goddess. She didn't exactly know where the deity was, but that didn't stop her from addressing the goddess in anger. "You saw me attack Zoë. You've heard my prayers, you've seen my tears! You don't do anything! I have spent hours on my knees, begging for your help.... begging for you to heal me!"

Adeline was a sobbing mess as she covered her eyes with the palms of her hands. Sinking to her knees, she cried out all of her guilt, grief, pain, and loneliness into the centers of her hands, not caring that some of the tears escaped and fell onto her folded legs.

Immediately, the weight began to fall off of her shoulders as she wept, but she wasn't fooled to think that it would go away forever; it'd come back sooner or later with reinforcements.

"My daughter," the goddess began. "Your anger and pain are speaking for you. You think that I don't love you, that I am being unjust; but I know you. I know what you can and cannot handle, and I would never put this upon you if I knew you couldn't endure it. Believe it or not, Adeline Manson, you're strong and that's why you are facing so many hardships. Only the smart can survive, but only the strong can thrive."

'I want you to leave me alone.' Adeline thought as the silver started to melt back into darkness. She knew that the dream was ending and that in a short while, she would awaken. For the first time in three years, Adeline welcomed the outside world with open arms.

As she began to feel her conscience ooze back into her body, Adeline could still hear the goddess's voice loud and clear.

"You need to forgive and forget, Adeline. You need to let go of your pain if you want to move on." The goddess's voice was urgent and washed out. At any moment, the Goddess would silence altogether.

"You need to move on."