Chapter 4

It's already pitch black outside when I finally get home, once again exhausted. Tonight I'm lucky, the heavenly scents of a freshly prepared meal already greet me when I open the door to our condo.

I find Bella at the stove, stirring some sauce or other. She smiles at me when I hug her from behind, burying my face in her hair until she is all I can smell. I try to be as pesky as possible and steal a kiss from her, but she laughs and gives me a peck on the nose before she tells me to shower as I'm apparently reeking of antiseptic. Grumbling, I dash up into the bathroom to take care of that, and by the time I'm back, the pasta is already waiting for me on the table.

We eat in companionable silence while we watch the evening news, and once we're done I flop down on the couch and do some channel surfing while Bella is working on one of her articles, her laptop balanced on her thighs. Some re-runs of Miami Vice keep me occupied for a while, but before long I'm getting bored.

It's weird how bland and normal our evenings are, more often than not. Just like any other couple in the city. We work, we come home, we eat, we watch TV, and maybe we even have sex before we go to sleep, or not. I used to laugh at Emmett when he told me that he really enjoys just being home with Rose, just spend time together. Now I'm exactly as much of a sap as he is. I can lie here forever and watch Bella as she nibbles on her bottom lip while she clicks through some articles, then types like a fury for a while before she goes back to scanning her source material. I wish I didn't have night shifts at least twice a week, so I could spend every evening with her like that.

Then again the way her tongue runs over her lip pushes the exhaustion right out of my mind, and if I have to stare at the bit of fabric that she insists is called underwear, that is peeking out above the waistband of her sweats, I'm going inside.

For some reason she doesn't react when I push myself off the couch and crawl over to her, then bend my head to catch the side of the thong between my teeth. I tug until I'm sure that excuse for panties must bite into her flesh on the other side, before I let go, the elastic snapping right back into her hip. When she still doesn't even flinch I repeat my approach, and end it with a wet kiss onto her soft skin.

“Is there something you would like to tell me with that, or are you just being a pain in the ass?”

Bella glances down at me after she closes her laptop and sets it down on the table, her eyebrows raised. I push myself closer to her so that I can rest my head on her thigh, and grin up at her.

“Oh I'd love to be a pain in your ass, shall I get the lube?” Bella rolls her eyes at me, but the way her smile lights up her face just makes me want to stay here with her like this forever.

“Has someone told you before that your humor lacks any kind of subtlety?”

“I think you mentioned something like that before.” She squeals when I push my face against her stomach and dab my tongue into her belly button, but she doesn't seem to mind me pulling her tank top up her chest.

“Stop it! I still have to finish my column; I have to send it to Ben for approval first thing in the morning!”

I mumble a string of profanities into her warm skin in between messy kisses, but stop when she pushes lightly on my shoulders.

“Edward, I really mean it. Twenty minutes, then I'm all yours, okay?” I really don't want to move, but I can't resist her when she smiles like this.

After a last kiss on her stomach I retreat to the other end of the couch again, and try to focus on the show. I just close my eyes for a moment, but I must have dozed off, as the TV is off and the lights are dimmed when I open them again. I'm instantly grumpy that my insane job has once again cost me a nice evening romp on the couch, but then I feel warm lips running over my abs and, belatedly. look down.

During my slumber one of my legs must have slipped off the couch, and now Bella is kneeling on the floor before me, her hands on my thighs while she's kissing wet lines down my lower stomach. When she feels me stir, she briefly looks up and grins at me before she goes back to tickling me with her tongue.

I'm still wondering if I should draw her back up onto the sofa, when she reaches into my boxer briefs, and the next moment her mouth is hot and wet around my cock. I groan loudly and sink back onto the couch, my dick screaming at me not to interrupt her. Not that I intend to. Her lips and tongue just feel too good on me.

She hums contently when I groan in bliss, which of course makes me even harder. Her hand wraps around my cock and she starts stroking me in turn with sucking, and I'm in heaven. Her hair tickles my thigh and I brush it away, but my fingers remain in her soft tresses – not holding her head or anything, but just feeling the silky texture on my fingertips.

Within minutes she has me groaning and panting in pleasure and the urge to hold her in place and fuck her mouth resurfaces but, for once, I let her set the pace and am content with enjoying myself and watching her work.

I'm used to my subs knowing how to please me that way, but the fact that Bella really enjoys fellatio is indescribable. Even now her eyes are dark with lust as she gazes up at me, before she intensifies her efforts until she wears down my restraint.

I come in her mouth with a long drawn out moan, my orgasm that much stronger when she takes all of me in when she feels me coming, her lips sealed around the base of my cock. When I'm spent she keeps licking at my head long after all the jizz is cleaned up, and for a moment, I wonder if I can get it up again soon. I'm even a little disappointed when Bella pushes my dick back into my underwear, but then she's crawling onto me, and I don't really care anymore.

My hands are at the back of her head when I draw her close to me, hungrily kissing her mouth. She tastes all like her with just a trace of my spunk and I decide that I want to spend the rest of the night just exploring her mouth.

Bella moans against my lips contently while her fingers knead my sides, and long before I'm ready to let her go, she pulls away and rests her head on my shoulder.

“Thought that would wake you up again.”

I laugh as I stroke her back gently.

“You always have that effect on me.” I kiss her hair, then add, “Sorry that I fell asleep. Long day.”

“Don't worry; at least I don't have to feel bad that my promised half hour turned out to be two hours. Plus, I love watching you sleep. You make the cutest of noises when I tickle your neck.”

Her words make me laugh and I would smack her ass for that if I weren't so languid right now. I still feel like I should do something so I let my fingers drift lower and into the back of her sweats. That thong is really just a thin string of fabric that disappears between her ass cheeks and I bother myself with following its path for a while until I slip my fingers underneath it to caress her skin. Bella's warm breath against my neck picks up when I skim lower but, before I can reach any vital parts of her anatomy, she stretches her body, not quite incidentally knocking my arm away.

“Don't start anything you don't intend to follow up on. I'm too tired to go to bed frustrated now.”

“Who says I'm just making empty promises?”

She laughs softly before she scoots back a little, straddling me as she sits down on my thighs close to my knees, smiling at me.

“You were barely awake enough to enjoy me giving you a blow job; you don't seem up to fucking my ass right now.”

I don't know if I should be offended by her words, or if she's just trying to goad me into action, but there's no fire in her eyes, so I guess she's just stating the obvious.

“I was, but now I'm awake, thanks to your very talented mouth.” Months ago she would have blushed, now she's just grinning at my praise.

“Well, if you're that taken by my mouth, wait until you see what my pussy can do for you.”

Of course my cock stirs at her words and I groan, and Bella chuckles at my reaction.

“Yeah, poor Edward, really, always pestered by your nympho of a girl!” I can't let that remark slide, so I grab her and push her down onto her back on the couch, crouching over her as I sneer. She laughs, and I stifle the sound by plunging my tongue into her mouth, kissing her hard and deep until laughter turns to needy moans. My fingers dig into her hips as I hold her down, then I shift my body so I can grip the back of her neck with one hand, and push the other into her sweats.

No surprise, she's wet and her thong is soaked, and her back arches up underneath me when I drag her panties aside and thrust two of my fingers into her. Her hands push against my shoulders, urging me off her, but I'm not ready to let her go yet. So I catch her wrists with the hand that was on her neck and press them into the couch over her head, while I keep fucking her with my fingers. She's writhing underneath me now, her hips pressing against my hand, all signs of struggle gone. My thumb finds her clit, and I feel her clench around me. I speed up my efforts, and she's coming, her lips still smashed against mine.

I withdraw my fingers from her hot pussy and move off her a little, but still keep her hands pinned. Bella is panting hard, her eyes drooping closed, but open wide as she watches me lick her juices off my fingers. I love how she tastes, and for a moment I even contemplate making her come again with just my mouth. But then I remember my talk with Beth today, and decide to postpone any further attempts to make Bella scream until later.

She looks a little disappointed when I let go of her and lie down on the couch, but she's only too happy to shimmy around until she's partly lying on my chest. We kiss some more, but I think she feels that my heart's no longer fully into it.

“Why do I think that the next words out of your mouth are the ominous 'we need to talk'?”

I laugh at the suspicion in her voice and gently kiss her again to make sure that my intentions are not driven by any sense of guilt or unease.

“You know me too well, Swan.”

“Oh, now we're on last name basis, gotta be something important.”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

I shrug and pull her even closer, my hands back in her hair.

“How important you want it to be.”

“Just spit it out, Cullen, before I die of anticipation here.” I laugh as she's all relaxed against me, a warm, content body stretched alongside my own.

“I talked to Beth today.”

“And?”

“And she gave me shit because I'm keeping you from her and the others.

Apparently. Not that I think I ever actively did that, but, you know.” Bella's chuckling into my chest, before she turns her head and places a gentle kiss onto my chin.

“I'm all yours, you know? And yours to keep away from anyone else.” My heart clenches at her words, and that twisted mix of melancholy and endless happiness zooms through me. Just mine, always mine, just as I'm hers.

Of course I can't go all sappy on her, even though I partly want to, but she's in a playful mood now that she's satisfied, and I don't really want her to tease me for spilling my guts.

“Oh, you are, but wanna know what's even more fun than locking you up here and having my wicked way with you? Parading you in front of others and showing them firsthand what they are missing, and what I have every day.”

She's silent for a moment, and I wonder what she thinks I'm implying here.

I'm close to panicking when she frowns for a second, but then her forehead is smooth again, a light smile on her lips.

“What is this all about?”

I decide to just spill it, I can always tease her tomorrow, right now I should go easy on her if I want her to be comfortable with the idea.

“Beth is having a play party in three weeks. Wanna go there with me?” I expect the frown to come back, but Bella's smile stays, even though she hesitates for a little while.

“I guess.”

“You guess? Doesn't sound too good.”

Now she's sneering, but it's a playful sneer.

“Seriously, you, me, a room full of people who're likely to be okay with any kind of PDA you come up with, I wonder if I'll get brain damage from blushing.”

Her accusation makes me laugh, but I hold myself back after a moment when Bella in fact scowls at me. I bring my hands up in a defensive gesture, trying to pacify her as I mimic taking an oath.

“I solemnly swear, I will behave myself and only grope you when you want me to.”

“See, that's the problem!”

“What's the problem?”

She sighs, exasperated.

“Edward, I always want you to grope me! Well, maybe not in front of your parents, but you know what I mean. I protest, of course, because that's what I do, but we both know that I'm terribly easy to persuade that it's a good thing when you have your hand inside my pants! Oh, and that solemnly swearing I only believe when you end that sentence with 'I'm up to no good'.”

I roll my eyes at her and grumble something under my breath about pop culture references, but she just looks too cute, all agitated from her accusation. She's right, of course, but I'm trying to be good and really mean it.

“Beth and Gerard will be there, and Peter and Charlotte, too, rest assured that I will behave myself just because one half of them would have my ass for being stupid, and the other would frown upon my improper behavior.

After all I have a reputation to uphold, and as much as I love to tease you, I'm not going to get banned from any community events just because I feel like biting your juicy ass in front of everyone.”

For some reason my half-assed argumentation seems to work, as Bella stops frowning and snuggles closer to me.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, let's go to that play party. I just don't have anything to wear. And before you start, no, I'm so not going naked.”

I chuckle at her decisive tone, and earn myself a badly aimed punch in the arm for that.

“Stop it, I really mean it! And don't tell me you didn't think of that already, I know you better than that!”

Of course she does, and I'm wisely keeping my tongue.

“We'll find something for you to wear, I'm sure. But I thought it'd take longer for me to persuade you to come.”

Bella sighs, the sound coming out with the wariness I've been expecting.

“Look, of course I'm a little anxious, and I'm sure that the closer the day of the party is, the more I will be nervous and all, but I know that there’s no need for me to fret over this. I trust you, even when I accuse you of being a mean bastard. I know that you wouldn't ask me to go there with you if you'd think I would resent it. And I know that if I change my mind, or if I just don't like it, we'll leave.”

Then she looks up, a dirty smile forming on those luscious lips.

“And after all, it's in Beth's playroom, right? Where I fucked your ass the last time we were there, actually both times we were there. I don't think I have any need to be afraid of going there again.”

Now my cock is definitely awake, and she feels it pressing into her stomach, causing her smile to turn into a veritable smirk.

“I guess not.”

We could keep talking about this for a while longer, but I decide that I'd rather kiss her now, and she doesn't protest when I do exactly that. At first she's pliable enough, but then she pushes herself into a crouching position over me and squeezes my cock hard while her teeth sink into my lip.

“Speaking of which, I think I should call Beth tomorrow if maybe she'd like to play with us again. You've been a horny bastard of late, always pestering me in the morning; maybe I should put you in your place again.” Her hand squeezes my dick even more until I groan, but the moment her grip eases up on me, I jerk my hips up, hoping that she won't stop there.

Bella looks down at her hand on my cock before her eyes turn to my face again, and I grow even harder when there's no hesitation in them, no flicker of doubt.

“I don't think we'll need Beth for that, really,” I offer when she doesn't continue. Bella frowns a little and I feel her fingers ease up on me, and my cock immediately protests. So I reach up and draw her face close to mine, kissing her passionately to show her that I trust her, and want her to trust herself.

I'm a little disappointed when she sits down on my legs again but, as her hand is still on my cock, not all hope is lost.

“I don't know if that's a good idea,” she admits, but just when I want to launch into my pep talk she runs the thumb over her other hand over the head of my cock, teasing, toying with me.

My eyes close on their own account and I groan, but before I can completely lose my thought I force myself to concentrate on her, and not on what she's doing.

“Why not?”

“I really don't know how to do it. How to set up a scene, I mean.”

“You did really well last time with Beth, if I remember correctly.” Bella snorts. “Exactly. With Beth. I mostly rambled on about what I wanted to do in general, but she provided all the details, and how we should set things up, heighten expectations and all that.”

“I'm sure you'll do just fine on your own -” I cut off when I feel her nails run up the length of my shaft, basically wiping my brain for a few seconds. She really doesn't know what she's doing to me, or else she wouldn't think for a second that she could do anything wrong.

“Bella, trust me, you can do it if you want to.” She stops for a moment, grinning at my needy pants, and I try to rally what's left of my mind to go on. “And you don't have to do the planning alone; I'll help you if you want me to.”

“You would?”

I'm a little hurt that she sounds so surprised.

“Of course I would, why shouldn't I? No offense, but my playroom, my gear, I should know how to use it all and explain and help you there. With everything.”

“But then you'll know what I'm up to!”

“And?”

She looks baffled for a moment, but then considers my offer in earnest.

“Okay. But I want something in return.”

Anything. Really anything. But she should know that she can always ask anything of me.

“Sure, what?”

Her smile is triumphant now.

“I want in on the scene planning when I'm subbing, too.” That surprises me a little as she's never asked that of me before, but it really shouldn't as we've just had the exact same point with our roles reversed. Before I can do more than nod, she explains further.

“Like, I'd like you to explain to me how you do that for anything you're up to this week. Where you get your ideas from, how you decide what to do to me, what toys to use, how to tie me up, when you want to play, everything.

Maybe we can discuss some of that, too. Maybe even try something new, I mean the wax play was fun, I'm sure there are some other things you've been itching to do but we never got round to actually trying them. And after this week I'll do some research, and we can sit down and I can tell you what I come up with for you. You just help me work out the details and how-tos. How does that sound?”

Like I've died and gone to heaven, or maybe that's hell considering what we're talking about, anyway, I'm in paradise.

“Have I told you of late how much I love you?”

She grins at my emphatic words and leans down to kiss me, but stops before our lips come even close. I try to crane my neck and close the distance, but then she's squeezing my cock again and I fall back into the cushions of the couch.

“You sure that's not just your cock talking?” she teases me.

“I am pretty sure that's my heart and mind, because seriously, my cock's concerned with other things right now!”

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Like begging you not to stop!”

Her smile brightens, and she licks her lips as she looks down at the concerned piece of me.

“I think I should be gracious and grant your cock that attention. But you're not getting away so easily, mister.”

I'm surprised when she lets go of me and gets up, but my apprehension is gone when she steps out of her sweats and thong, and gets back onto the couch, her knees left and right of my head while she's facing my legs.

“Be a good boy and show my pussy some love, will you?” I don't really need the incentive as my hands are already on her thighs, spreading them wider as I pull her down towards me. Bella sighs contently as I lick up and down her wet pussy lips, before I suck on her clit. Her hand squeezes my cock hard in what I think is some kind of involuntary reaction, but then she's pumping me while her other hand is gripping my balls none to gently. Her hips buck and she's rubbing herself all over my face, but I couldn't care less.

We're both excited as hell, and I make her come even before I shoot my load all over my stomach, a few minutes later. It doesn't happen often that she gives me a hand job, and I really don't care; just wipe myself clean with my t-shirt. Bella looks exceptionally pleased with herself as we make our way upstairs, where we shower together before we fall into our bed.

She's asleep in minutes, lying half on my shoulder and chest, and I spend nearly an hour just staring at her beautiful face, tired but unable to fall sleep myself. My thoughts return to my conversation with Beth, and I want to deny that she was right, that I have to do something to make sure that I don't keep dragging on Bella's happiness like I used to, inadvertently.

Because for her, I'd simply do anything.