Chapter 46 - My Dear Hana (2)

His Hana is growing up fast. At the age of four, she laughs easily. She runs around to make him chase her. Whenever he catches her, her eyes lighten up. She would demand candies. She runs her hands through his pockets if he doesn't give her any. She would argue with him with her tiny voice.

Instead of reading her colorful books, she prefers peeking at her father's case files. He likes watching her all the time. She has a rabbit now. A white flurry thing that her father got her. She likes feeding it.

"Do you like it more than me?" He asks her one day.

"No." She shakes her head. "I like you more."

"My dear, what if you have to choose between him and me?" He picks up the rabbit. It is small and fluffy. He can feel its rapidly beating heart with his hand. She blinks at him several times, thinking hard with her little head.

"You," She finally tells him.

"Then, you don't need him." He twists the rabbit's neck. A short agonizing death. It is lifeless in his hands. She looks at it with curiosity. She pokes it when it doesn't move. They don't speak for the next ten minutes. He wonders if she will scream or cry. Whether she will run to her father and complain. It's a risk that he has taken. Nobody knows about his secret side yet.

It's also her first time seeing this side of him. He wants to test her. Is she like other girls?

"Do you hate me now?" He breaks the silence.

"No." She smiles at him cheekily. "Now, I only have you."

He holds her face with the same hands that killed her favorite rabbit. "You only have me. Remember that, my dear Hana."

"Only you." She sits on his ŀȧp and nods her round head. "I will remember that."

"I am moving away," He decides to tell her.

"Noooo!" She looks like she will start crying. "Stay with me."

"I can't." He can't explain the complicated part. His father's transfer. Moving to a faraway city. He doesn't want to leave her either, but he has no choice. Nobody listens to the wishes of 11 years old boy. "I am not old enough to stay here with you alone. I have to follow my parents wherever they go."

She lowers her head, trying not to cry.

"You can cry in front of me." He lifts her chin. "My dear Hana, you can cry as much as you want. But, don't cry in front of others."

"When will you come back?" She asks him sadly. He doesn't know. When he comes back in the future, things won't be the same. He regrets leaving now. He wants to watch her as she grows up. What if he comes back and she doesn't accept him like the way she does now? She might turn out like other people. She might become afraid of him.

Then, he will have to kill her. His Hana can only belong to him. Nobody else. He should be the only one in her heart.

"Even if I am not here, you shouldn't forget me." He kisses her forehead. "My Hana, my dear, I only have you. You can only love me. Don't let this world change you."

He will be alone if she changes and becomes ordinary people. They can't understand him. She is the only one who can.

Little Hana can bȧrėly understand the meaning of his words. She kisses him back on his forehead. She wipes away his tears and wraps her arms around his neck. "I will only love you."

"Promise?" He places his hand on her little back.

She promises him. "Only you."