Chapter 292 - Day CMLXXXIII, Part II

I went to sell the score and earned 1 706 400 points. I bought some food for us. There was still plenty of the day left, but I just had enough of the swamp, so I decided to just end the hunt for today. I left my shoes on some roof, to which I shadow walked, so they would dry up, and returned to Ki'rai. We ate in silence, looking at each other outlined by the dim light provided by slightly opened shutters.

I had few ideas, of how to explain the problem to her, but those weren't good enough. I wanted to be somebody she would look up to, although I wasn't fully realizing that yet. I needed a great answer, that would put her on the right path of compassion.

Then a thought popped up in my head. There was a person that once helped me with a moral dilemma.

- Ki'rai, can you turn yourself into a chicken?

She didn't answer and just did what I asked her for. I picked her up and left the room in search of the old man, Brutus Sinclair. It took some time, but eventually, I was pointed in the direction of a storage house in the complex belonging to Wuxia.

I went inside. It was just one big room, completely filled with old equipment. I even noticed a few olf pudaos I was using around two years ago. There were all kinds of stuff there. Weapons, armors, even furniture.

He was in the process of giving out two chairs to a bunch of people, which he notified in some papers, lying on a small desk on the side. He looked way better since the last time I saw him. The messy hair was hut relatively short, and put in order, just like the beard. He also had some meat on his bones.

- How can I help you, Peter? - he said while smiling.

I put Ki'rai down.

- I have a dilemma and wanted to pick your mind bout it.

He chuckled.

- Wery well. How about we sit down? You can take a chair from over there - he pointed at a complicated construction made of tables, stools, chairs, and other stuff.

I just went there and picked something to sit on, then brought it to his desk. The chicken was following my every move.

- What's the problem?

- I've been thinking a lot lately about the past of this place, and about the leadership - I lied. - And I eventually stumbled on this dilemma. Means don't matter as long as you get what you want. I killed people to prevent the war. I even killed for much less noble reasons...

- I understand what you are putting on the table - he sighed heavily. - In a perfect world, you could seek perfect answers, but we are not perfect. Sometimes you have to pick the best solution you can come up with in the given moment. And about the dilemma itself... Think about the ultimate good. A perfect world itself. Utopia where everybody is happy. Wouldnt achieving something like that justify anything you do to make it happen?

His words completely knocked me down. I came to him seeking the answer supporting what I was already thinking about the problem, not something opposite.

- Now think that you are just a bystander, and somebody else is trying to achieve the utopia. Would you give them a permit to do whatever they need?

- No.

He chuckled.

- See? We all have our goals, and are willing to do a lot to achieve them, but who is to say which goal is more important than the other? In the end, compromise is the right answer. Maybe you won't get exactly what you want, but you will get something close to it, and the other person will get just the same. There is no perfect answer. If you would have to kill all the people to achieve the perfect world, is that a good solution?

I nodded.

- It's a cliche to say it, but maybe it's the road that matters, not the goal? The people you meet, the smiles on their faces. It's something very hard to see when you only look ahead, but there is a beauty to it.

I looked at Ki'rai, wondering how much of what he was saying worked for her.

- Thank you. You gave me a new perspective.

- Your welcome - he chuckled again.

I put the chair back, picked the chicken, and left while saying goodbye. I went straight to my room in the barracks, to find out what she was thinking. She transformed back to her original form as soon as I closed the doors.

- What do you think? - I asked her.

She didn't answer at first. Her focused expression told me she was still thinking.

- I don't know - she said eventually. - It's much harder than I thought.

I nodded.

- Sometimes it's like that in life. You cant find the right answer, but that doesn't mean you should stop looking. Think about it some more when you have the time. Maybe you will eventually find something that's good enough for you.

- I will... Thank you, Peter - she added after a moment.

Her words put a slight smile on my face. I felt kinda proud of myself. I thought her something, that was not perfect, but definitely good.

- Your welcome Ki'rai. Now, let's go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day. We need to look through the swam to find another spot to hunt.

- Ok - she said, but the concerned look on her face didn't disappear.

She was still thinking about the problem. Maybe it was the first time she had to figured something complicated for herself. Find her own answer. "That's a great lesson", I thought to myself as I was lying down. I observed her until the light coming through the slight opening in the shutter became insufficient.

The day came to an end with 5 582 960 points remaining on my account, and two class points.