29 I Love Him

"I love him...." Anna whispered but Chesa heard it.

Chesa sighed and sat next to the girl "So you're not denying it anymore?"

Anna shook her head, she knew it was love. She didn't want to run from these feelings or hide from them anymore.

"Well, sorry to say but your feelings still change nothing" Chesa said, sadly it was true. No matter how much Anna claimed to love Bai Sheng, he would never love her back. After what happened in the past, he told her that he would never love anyone else.

"I know.....his past right?...." Anna sighed hugging the girl on her lap for comfort. She never had plans to fall in love in this life, she didn't think she would ever know what it felt like but of all the people in this world....why did it have to be him?.....why did it have to be Bai Sheng?

.....

Bai Sheng tried to distract himself from his silly thoughts, of course he didn't have feelings for that girl, he only saw her as a sister. That was why he felt the need to protect her....that was definitely it!

Bai Sheng's eyes wandered around and that was when his eyes met hers.

That feeling he thought he would never feel, he felt it. His heart skipped a beat just staring at those green eyes, they looked so delicate, so alluring.....

'Stop it! stop it!' Bai Sheng noticed her gaze was on him as well and he quickly pretended like he was looking behind her 'Did she notice? Did she see?' This questions were going through his head when he heard her soft voice

"I'm going to leave first"

Her words surprised him, was she leaving because she realized his weird feelings? 'Impossible!' he quickly dismissed the thought.

Her expression wasn't as bright as before 'Was she getting tired?' Bai Sheng got worried, she must be tired. That's why.

He watched her leave with complicated emotions, he kept chanting the words 'Like a sister.....Like a sister' in his head.

...

Anna closed her eyes and tried hard to sleep when night came, no matter how she tried she didn't feel sleepy.

She thought of Bai Sheng and wondered if he was still awake.

She wanted to chat with Chesa but she heard the light snores coming from the top bunk.

She sighed...

"Being in love is so hard" she whispered softly, it really was hard for her because even though she wanted to tell him her true feelings, she couldn't bring her self to do it.

It wasn't the fear of rejection but the fact that she knew she would get rejected.

She imagined what it would be like if she ever got to tell him

"I love you Bai Sheng" she whispered 'Even if we haven't known each other for long, I love you. Even though I know I don't deserve you, I still love you'

Anna closed her eyes, she thought coming to base would be a hard challenge but this...this was worse!

....

It was a Sunday, a general resting day for everyone in base. People were allowed to leave and go see their families and also go have fun outside the base.

"Aunty Anna lets go to a beach" Ella said with sparkling eyes, who could resist such cuteness?

"Sure" Anna smiled, it was not as big as usual, she didn't even get a wink of sleep last night. Her head was throbbing like crazy and she sort of looked like a panda when she looked in the mirror this morning.

"Anna? are you feeling okay?" Shola couldn't help but ask. The girl was normally a talkative when it came to Ella but now she was so quiet.

"Its nothing" Anna lied trying to force a smile but she couldn't, 'So this is what they call 'love sickness'?' Anna thought to herself, she was such a mess right now.

"Nathan! Anna doesn't feel well and she won't tell what's wrong!" Shola yelled making sure her husband heard her

"I said its fine!" Anna sighed, why won't that just believe her.

Nathan and Bai Sheng were both in the sitting room when they heard Shola's voice.

Bai Sheng suddenly felt worried 'Was she sick?'

He followed Nathan to the garden, his gaze was on her the whole time.

She looked tired, like she didn't get any sleep at all.

"Anna?....is there something wrong?"

Nathan frowned realizing Bai Sheng had beat him to it, he was the brother! that is supposed to be his line!

Anna stared Bai Sheng in the eyes 'He cares so much for me...he keeps giving me hope'

she smiled at him and shook her head "I just didn't get enough sleep last night that's all" she assured him before looking at her brother

"I promise, nothing is wrong" I mean.....what could she say? 'I am in love with Bai Sheng? or I have love sickness?'

Anna laughed at her stupid thoughts, she didn't want to ruin the relationship she and Bai Sheng shared now.

He probably only saw her as a sister anyways.

Nathan nodded, he patted her head and smiled. "Remember, if anything is wrong, do not hesitate to tell your big brother hmm?"

Anna nodded, her bug brother was so caring. She still hasn't gotten used to this feeling.

"Thank you big brother. Thank you Bai Sheng"

Her gaze lingered on Bai Sheng's face for a bit before looking at Ella.

"Can we go to the beach another day?" Anna asked, of course she wasn't in the right mind to go anywhere because when she stared at his face, she came to a decision.

She would tell him.....she would tell him how she really felt.

Bai Sheng stared intently at the girl. If what he was feeling was true, than he had to distance himself from her.

To him all women are the same, she must be just like the rest so no matter what, he would not tell her about this.

He felt Anna wasn't that kind of person but, he had already been hurt once, he wouldn't be able to take it the second time.