Chapter 97 - 95

"Hey…" I say after a few moments have passed of him staring back at the closed door. "You there?"

He barely looks at me, eyes passing by as if coaxing a child and not even bothering in answering me.

But I do notice that he has not let go of my hand yet, and somewhat it gives me the impression that, this time around, it is not to comfort me, or rather, is for him to find a supporting hand.

That… small yet vulnerable action of his instead of arising my hunger to hunt him down to the core actually makes me even more on alert and protective of him.

What the hell? I shake my head, but still my gaze drifts back to his face, and I cannot help but say:

"Care to explain? Do… do you want to talk about it?" I say, regretting being so fierce at first and trying to amend it.

Only that he does not say anything at first, only staring at the door, and when he does his eyes do not move:

"Seiji, can you set the table?"

"M-me? Sure."

Only then he turns back and starts putting the plates over the counter for me to distribute them over the table, and somehow we end up having a quiet dinner together, sitting in front of each other. 

However I can feel the tension in the air as I keep moving the fork back and forth, and I've never been the type to be subtle nor beat around the bush, so I say fuck it and say:

"Aaasher! You know what? Is not fair! You know everything there is to know about me, and actually dare to keep quiet about this as if it does not involve me in any way?" Though I'm grateful that the matter with his brother has died out so easily, but I can guess that is because they cared so little for him.

Which only makes me dread how Asher, a not blood relative, was treated as.

"…" He just keeps eating for a while, so I call him out again, only for his annoyed self to drop the fork and look at me.

"What?"

"Come on now, we are in this together, can you at least talk to me uhm?"

"… There is not much to talk." Is what he says, but to his best efforts I can still tell that this situation still affects him in some way, the way he is more cold and gloomy than before for example.

"Try me." I say, sitting back and crossing my arms, waiting for him to go on, and letting it very clear that it is not a matter that I'll let go so easily.

He merely sighs. "Very well, but it will cost you." He says with a quiet smirk, and I only manage to frown when he starts talking, already setting his price without consulting me.

"Is quite the common story, really, many have similar pasts like mine, including Takamori. Guess is the result of wars I supposed, especially long term ones like this."

"We were orphans of war from a very young age, neither him nor I remember our parents, my first memory being already in the orphanage." He takes a sip of his drink before speeding up.

"It was a mixed orphanage, but it didn't mean shit for the caretakers or the other children, and anyone with Shinzaki blood like myself and Taka were discriminated and pushed around."

"I had to learn from very young that… that letting they know just how much they managed to hurt me only made them beat harder, so when our military training started I did not suffer as much as Taka, already in hold of my emotions and expressions, already used to the pain and all..."

"You see, with war and battles raging all around we did not have the luxury that other orphanages in the past had. From tender age we are trained to be cannon folder soldiers to be thrown in the battlefield and charge head first, we were the best type to die, no one to grief for us, no goods to be taken, and empty existence, a meat shield, if you will." 

"That's…" Horrible, I would say, but I did not want to offend Asher by showing pity, even though it is tragic that things have to be like this, and all of it was even before any of the ghouls appeared, which is much worse.

It was by mere human effort and actions that things turned out that way… and the current situation does not surprise me anymore.

"That's how things are. The guns don't shoot themselves after all, and the nobles need to stay safe at the back, they need people to die for them at the frontlines so later they can come back with the glory of a win, that's all."

"But some… did not end up like that. Some do not fit for fighting and had even worse odd jobs to carry, and in an already hard society to live in they were punched to the bottom of the stairs." He is not saying it directly, but I can guess Takamori is one of those cases.

Children with no future, having their deaths written by the sick adults… I cannot even start imagining how it was for them to live in such conditions, with no hope whatsoever, only sheer terror, and that makes me understand more why Asher and Takamori are so close to each other, after going through hell together like this.

"I'm glad you were not alone there, that you at least had Takamori with you." I blare out without thinking twice as he was about to continue talking, making him close his mouth again and stare at me for a moment.

"…What?" I frown, then nod up, questioning, but he only smiles, but in a way that makes my heart race, my pupils dilate, and my temperature rise.

What the hell?

"Yes, I was quite fortunate to have met him then, he is too kind for this world…"

"Yeah…" Then I remember the state he is at, in lockdown currently, and swallow dry at the possibility of… of Asher losing him, of all people.

And I'm glad too, that it turns out that I saved such an important person's life even before properly meeting Asher, that because of my odd actions; and Takamori bad tasting blood; Asher did  not need to suffer his loss.

That reminds me, I still have to ask about those pictures!

However is my turn to open my mouth to speak and shut it back up, for Asher gets up from his chair and keeps talking while approaching, his words not matching his actions.

"Some of us who stood out were adopted by grand families to bring honor to their names, in other words is only a polite way to say that we are bound to die on the battlefield, but before that we had to do great achievements in the name of our 'families', and since I appear mostly Wilraine this is how I end up." At that he tops in front of me, his image overwhelmingly close and the difference in height, me sitting and him standing, only makes him look even more charming and fierce, the shadows obscuring his face and bringing forth his cold sharp eyes.

That were staring right at me now.

"Are you… satisfied now?" He says, and the way he speaks it does not make me think he is talking about our conversation, that and the fact that, as he finishes his story, he bends forward, closing the distance between us, and startes unbolting my shirt, one hole at a time, not in a hurry and yet slow enough to make me anticipated what he is up to, feeling the cold night brush their cold fingers at the slowly being exposed skin from my chest and abs.

All of that takes the words out of my mouth, and I can only watch as he moves for my brain goes frenzy and only my animal side responds with a low purr, and as his hands stay close I take the opportunity to brush my face against his palm, the contrast of his warm hand and the cold wild brings a shiver out of me.

But not as much as when he bends down further, closer to me, and whispers in my ears, every word bringing a new shudder up and down my spine.

"Seiji… can I dominate you tonight? Can I taste you all over to engrave your taste in my mouth? Can I shape your insides with my form?"

I take a sharp intake of air at his words, and even if I'm not the submissive type, even if I'm not one to give in and cave in, his request, so soft and tender, coming from such emotional distress, makes me a little soft at his demands and wishes, and out of my mind I…

I end up agreeing to his wishes.