Chapter 83 - 81

POV: Asher

That makes me stop and look back at him only to be met with his alarmed face, which shocks me more than anything before.

Because this person in front of me could not be the always strong and independent samurai, now made a monstrosity that never bowed to anyone, could he?

"… I'm not leaving." I find myself saying for some reason, something about his weakened state pulls a string in my chest that makes me close my hand into fists.

Seiji seems to calm down a little after I say it, and more once I sit back on the toilet to help him clean himself up, but as I brush the sponge at his skin I cannot stop being bothered by his depressed state, too far from his normal confident self, it could not be just the booze talking, could it be?

As some say, what is spoken in the heat of the moment is something thought about before… and perhaps the alcohol got him in some way as to uncover the thick layers that involved his heart.

That's why I've never enjoyed drinking.

And that is when I did something I should not have done, something that changed my view on him, something that does not categorize him as an asset anymore, but gives him a mind and body beyond that of a mere beast, something that feels, alive, warm and pulsating, and categorizes him as someone for me to worry about.

That's when I asked him, that's when I cared..

"What is it that is bothering you?"

He seems surprised too at first, but with a mumbled mind and a tongue loosened by the alcohol he does not beat around the bush and actually opens up for me.

"I don't know what to do, I'm so confused, this new form, these memories, our situation, is just too much for me to grasp."

"Tell me, what does that make me? Am I a monster after all? Easy it was to think it like that, and yet I have these… thoughts, words of a master that I cannot remember the name of, the honor of the Koshiro family, but I don't remember them at all, and yet it does not stop me from being bothered by it."

"How simple…" He chuckles, and yet there is no joy in his laugh. "To think myself as a simple monster, my only aim was to survive and feed, defend my territory, blissed ignorance, and yet now I have to face all the screaming meals I have in the past coming bac to haunt me, worsening with the thoughts of … of me being more than just the hunter."

I can tell he is overwhelmed by emotions at this point, but with a warrior's and a man's pride he does not let it spill out, and yet I'm far too knowledgeable about facial expressions and how to control them not to notice every single change, how his eyes glim a little more, how his eyebrow twitch in a frown than relax the moment later as if they have never been there, trying to disappear before being even formed.

However the eyes that gaze at me the next moment hold such complicated emotions that I do not manage to grasp the meaning behind that look.

"It is your fault, you know? I have been changing more and more since you did this to me, you have to take responsibility!"

As I frown at his choice of words I'm grabbed once more by the wrist, but this time he pulls me in the bathtub, and raising my head out so I don't swallow any of the water I'm but turned around by him, ending up in a very… compromising position.

I'm glad that I had taken my military boots out before, for they would be a major pain to dry later, however with only the inner clothing from my military outfit the water manages to drench my white shirt, making it transparent and glued to my body in a way that instead of covering my figure it only adds to my physics, giving a mere glimpse of the body bellow.

And I realize the effect I had like this because, when I hit my back at the opposite side of the bathtub, sitting down with my clothes on, Seiji cames right up, and with his arms on the side at the edge of the bathtub, trapping me in, only stopping to hungrily look me up and down, igniting a burning fire in his eyes.

I did not think this is how my day would end… but it does not sound bad after all.

Though if he thinks I'll only lay there… he is quite wrong.

I grab the back of his hair and pull his head back, reaching for his throat and biting there, something that I wanted to do for a long time now, leave that milky white skin full of red markings, and as he hisses from the pain and I lick the skin, I pull him by the waist and glue his naked body on mine, so close that we can feel each other's excitement.

"You worry too much." I say then. "Being a monster, being a human, why care what others think of you? Of what label to use? Of what you are? Honor… such a silly thing, why not discard that? Why not discard it all?"

"All you need to be now is my beast, my monster, my abomination, take your eyes away from the others, the past, the present, the only thing you need to think about is how to obey me diligently, how to please me."

"My abomination… nobody elses."

Quite pleased with that line of thought I give him another bite, still holding his hair and guiding his head, but with his long tail he coils around the drain and cleans a path for the water to flow out of the bathtub, letting behind only our two hot bodies glued together.

With so much stress pin up from the last day I'm all up to giving my body some release, but to my surprise he once more coils that tail of his all over my upper body and locks my arms in place, enough for me to feel his presence all over me.

I look at him with warning in my eyes, but his flushed self only grins back at me in a cheeky way.

"Seiji…" I say, threatening to use my command over to order him to stop, but instead he approaches me, licking my earlobe and giving it a little nimble before saying:

"Captain Coldy, relax, we both know you are the boss here and I can't do anything you do not want me to do, you are in charge, but let me help you out, let me relax these stiff shoulders of yours…Isn't it as you say? For me to please you…?"

"So give up control for me… and I'll guarantee that you won't regret it."

His words shock me, not merely because of his words, but of how much he manages to know, to understand me so much in the little time we spend together.

Control… having control is an important matter to me, to react to hard situations is best to have things under control, and yet if not almost impossible it is a very, very tiresome task to be having without stop, day after day, control my emotions, control the people around me, controls my and others actions, do it all on my own.

I'm tired of all of it… but I cannot stop it, not now, not ever, on the risk of losing more than just my life.

As if aware of these thoughts of mine he gives me another smile, and this time goes slower and enjoys licking my ear and going down my neck, but he seems very intrigued by it, licking and tasting as if sucking on a sweet dessert, so I give him a little push forward by putting my feet on his half harden shaft and putting some strength into it.

"You better do a hell of a good work then, for my shoulders are really stiff after all."

With that he finally gives me a full out grin of a kid allowed to eat candy before dinner.