Chapter 65 - 63

There is the smell of blood in the air, a pungent iron odor that is difficult to grasp and yet easily recognizable, flashes of blade, sweat and soil as the water tries to wash away the chaos that unfolds.

There are shadows, many shadows along the rain, screams and clacks of metal as blades meet and bullets are shot, the metal colliding, sometimes missing, then another scream.

"Koshiro… mister Koshiro… SEIJI!" A scream cleans my vision as if I had my eyes closed, but as I blink the confusion away I see no rain around me, no battlefield, only the plains of our proud nation stretching out below us.

"Seiji." I hear someone call. "Spacing out again?" 

I turn around, already resting my fist in my stretched out palm in salute for them as I give a half bow. "Master, sorry I did not hear you approach." 

The person approaches, the sun framing them from behind, making so that I cannot look them in the eye as I narrow my vision from the blinding light. 

"What troubles your mind Seiji?"

"N-nothing, I just needed some space, that's all." 

"Uhm…" I'm sure they are not convinced as they sit beside me to watch the sun coat the fields with its warm rays.

"Is just…"

"Yes?"

"…" I'm too afraid to sound weak or offend their teachings, so I end up saying nothing once more.

"Tomorrow is a big day for you… Your first real battle. Are you scared?"

"N-no, of course not!" The moment the words come out of my lips a paper fan hits me in the ear.

"Ouch." I say, covering my light wound.

"I did not teach a fool now did I? Only the mad would not fear to put oneself in front of danger and death."

"But… But I remember you say that we must appear weak only when strong, but never strong when weak…"

"That is that and this is this. One thing is what you show your enemies, and other is what you really feel inside. The foundation of a temple must always be sturdy, and yet waver with the wind, one must not be overconfident, and yet lack all confidence at all."

"The secret is always in the equilibrium."

"Fear will keep you alive… as long as you keep your hands on the rein and your mind focused." 

"Never lose sight of yourself. Never lose your essence. Never…" Their words are muffled suddenly by the crackling flames that take the air and dance among the dark and consume what stands in their path.

As I see myself alone again, looking at the horizon, a river of death standing in my way; young, old, friends, strangers, all meet their end here.

The price to pay for a peace that never comes.

My eyes set on the machines over the horizon and, cover in blood, I swear to put an end to this madness.

I'm sorry master, but your wise words cannot guide me anymore… for I swear that this oppression will end, and to find our balance I must fight.

For my people I must be strong, the strongest… until no machine can push us back anymore.

"Seiji, wake up, come and eat."

This time I can feel the weight of my body against the floor as I open my eyes, only to find a pair of cold ones staring back.

He does not wait nor repeat himself, simply stands up and goes out of the room as I try to awake from my confused state.

And try to calm the burning flame that has just been set ablaze inside me.

I have a fist closed over my chest, and as I open my hand I feel a strange emptiness envelop me, and the lack of something dear, so many things lost…

Why is it like this? Why am I… feeling this way? Feeling it at all…

Is like a void is stirring inside my heart, and even if full of emptiness is strength is enough to carry the winds with it.

I stand without being relieved of this feeling, going down the stairs and standing by the table.

Asher gives me a look but says nothing as he fills two plates with food, putting the table and sitting on the opposite chair from me.

I'm only taken back from my drunken state when the food's odor reaches my nostrils and, flaring those up, I finally look down to the plate of food in front of me.

And somehow it smells… deliciously.

I was about to simply leap on it when Asher takes a sit on the opposite side and, with a single fierce glace at me, looks back at the other chair.

"Let's sit and eat. We have a big day ahead of yourselves." While pointing with his palm and not using the commanding words, I'm more than suspicious of his actions, of why out of nowhere he is kind to me, even more after what he tried to enforce last night.

And how did that go for him ugh?

That thought brings a smug smile to my face that earns a raise of his eyebrow. As he starts eating though I end up sitting and grabbing the instrument he is using to put the food in his mouth, however as I awkwardly hold it I end up bending the metal into a U shape.

Asher only watches at first, but then he goes to the kitchen and brings something with him, a pair of wooden things that make me tilt my head to the side.

What? Metal didn't work so now you are trying wood? There is something wrong with that line of thought…

And yet as he passes me those I somehow feel very comfortable while holding them, almost as if… familiar with these, and as I go and eat with them I easily grab a piece of meat in between the chopsticks.

And the images from before come back to assault me as I look at the meat dangling in between the wooden stick right in front of me as I feel puzzled and yet welcomed, filling up my empty mind even if with things I do not comprehend, oddly familiar things.

Is an odd feeling, to say the least, a mixture of strangeness and familiarity…

Only after a few moments I finally eat the meat up, only to realize why it smelled so good in the first place; the taste, the texture, a differently known juicy meat, a delicacy that cannot be obscured by the taste of plain meat, the type of meal that makes one fight an army for.

The taste of human flesh.