Chapter 1457

Where am I lying?

Why is it dark all around

I vaguely heard someone talking, but I couldn't hear what the other person was saying.

A little tired, forget it, don't listen, I think I should be about to disappear, but before disappearing, I always want to think about my life.

My life... Is actually quite interesting.

I never knew who I was.

So, naturally, I don't know my name.

Maybe I don't have a name.

Curious, how can there be people without names? In my cognition, it seems that everyone in this world has their own names.

But I didn't.

I can't remember why it happened. It's just a vague memory. It seems... One day a long time ago, I gave my name to someone else.

be most willing to.

I feel so stupid. How can I willingly give my name to others

I don't know. Maybe there's a reason.

Alas, my thoughts seem to be a little confused. Let me straighten them out... It's really these things that always reverberate in my thinking. It seems to be very important, but I can't remember it, I just can't remember it, and there's no way.

What I can remember is my childhood.

My childhood, I define it as my life before the age of 20. In this ordinary world, like other children, I have experienced school, play, and seemingly childish games again and again.

But people around me always seem to tell me to study hard, like this, like that... I was a little bored at first, until one day, I looked at the rain falling in the sky, and suddenly wondered why it rained and what it was.

My teacher gave me the answer to this question. Maybe from that day on, I am full of curiosity about the world and everything. I like to ask why and get the answer. That will make me very satisfied.

For this satisfaction, I began to read and study seriously. It seems that there is a desire to push me to get all the unknown things.

Every time I get new knowledge, and every time I solve a why, I will be particularly happy, especially happy. I think I seem to be a lot different.

Maybe it's because it's too ordinary, so I'm more obsessed with what I think is different, so I study harder and master all the knowledge I can.

Such a life lasted until I was 20 years old. At that time, I always wanted to show it, whether in front of friends, teachers, or the opposite sex.

I always seem to want to show my uniqueness. Even in the bottom of my heart, I always feel that I am different from others.

Although... I have no outstanding appearance, no rich family, but a very ordinary existence in all sentient beings, this does not affect my heart, where a bird lives.

This bird, flying freely in the sky, is my sustenance and the wing that makes me feel different.

But in the final analysis, at that time, I was still a little polarized. The leap of thought and the ordinary reality made me like silence a lot.

It was also at that time that I met a girl, a classmate of my next door class, and my first secret love in my life.

Secret love is happy, and secret love is also bitter.

But I am willing.

Because, this makes me prefer to express myself all the time... I still remember that time, it seems that self-expression is an instinct in my life. I even want to become a hero, a darling of the world, and to be noticed by everyone, so as to attract her attention.

Therefore, I worked hard and became obsessed with every speech until this secret love was over.

The other party didn't know that I was secretly in love with her.

On the day of graduation, I was very sad and had courage, but in the end... I still lowered my head silently. Maybe this is a magic spell. Later, in higher learning, I still fell in love again.

During this period, I also like fortune telling. Every time I am unhappy, I will find a fortune teller, sit in front of him and take out some money.

There is a little skill in it, that is, you can't give it first, and then you can harvest countless compliments, countless compliments, countless good luck and other words, which will make me particularly happy, so after the end, give your pocket money to the fortune teller.

This life lasted for several years. Before graduation, I received my first love letter. I was very happy, but I didn't like that girl.

Until graduation, I had my own job, and my impulse of self-expression seemed to reach the extreme at this time, so I worked hard, worked hard, and tried to get recognition.

That period of life, now recalled, is also very interesting, because in my hard work, I met a girl, and we fell in love.

Love is a cup of bitter coffee.

Although bitter, but also sweet, just drink to the end... It seems that I can't tell whether it is more bitter or more sweet.

My first love is over.

At that time, I learned the smoke in this world and was attracted by the wine in this world. Since then, smoke and wine have become a part of my life.

I'm still trying to perform, but the impulse in my heart seems to fade with the years. It's also at this time that I don't know why there are more heterosexuals around me.

The second love, the third love, the fourth love, cups of bitter coffee, seem to be connected, let me drink it again and again, until one day, I met a woman, tall, smiling with crescent eyes, which made me feel very comfortable.

I think maybe this is the last cup of coffee I have drunk in my life.

We love each other and we get married.

At that time, I felt that I could see what I looked like when I was old at a glance. I was very relaxed, comfortable and beautiful

Until one day several years later, the mirror was broken, and the marriage came to an end at this time.

I can't tell who is right or wrong, or who is complaining.

Pain, struggle, gnashing teeth, metamorphosis... Became the theme of my time. The bird in my heart also flew higher at this time, touched the sun, and got the sun.

Maybe fate likes to joke with people. Later in my life, there are many opposite sex in my world. Some of them are tall, some are graceful, some are gentle, and some are overbearing... They are all beautiful and excellent. They come in groups and leave in groups. While the cycle continues, they also make me a little confused.

Because finally... What I picked up from it was a cup of bitter coffee, like smoke and wine.

Smoke hurts the lungs.

Alcohol hurts the liver.

Opposite sex... Sad.

But I still like cigarettes, wine and love

Until I was 40 years old, I suddenly found that compared with the opposite sex, I prefer to chat with my friends, talk about the past and point out the future.

Every time I drink, I like to hold my friends, boast together, laugh together, tease together, and be like a teenager.

Perhaps it is this change that makes me have more and more friends. I listen to their stories, and they also listen to my stories. We talk freely and we talk.

Maybe there will be some precautions, maybe some secrets, but it doesn't matter. Happiness is the most important thing.

At that time, I knew that everyone is a book, everyone has a story, everyone... In fact, from the bone, everyone is lonely.

The more I know, the less lonely I seem to be.

Among my friends, there are men and women, old and young, all kinds of people, but it doesn't matter. A sincere smile is the power to break everything.

Gradually, more and more friends like to talk with me.

Gradually, my smile became clearer and clearer.

Gradually, I seem to find a way to make myself happy.

In that time of my life, narration has become the most important part of me, surpassing knowledge, performance and love.

This is a kind of sharing. Maybe it's because of the inner squeeze to a certain extent. Like water overflowing, it's not just what I need, but also what many people... Need.

In this sharing and talking, I have gone through year after year. I don't know when I stopped talking. I began to pursue comfort, which includes both spirit and material.

I think it's when my hair begins to turn gray.

I am no longer limited to what to do or think. I will think about and complete everything that makes me feel comfortable. I begin to like watching the blue sky, white clouds and sunrise, but I don't like sunset.

But I also like the starry sky in the night.

Like to sit in a rocking chair, have a drink, casually bring a book, while reading, while enjoying the air, enjoying time, enjoying everything.

I no longer stay up late, I began to get up early.

I am no longer obsessed with the why of everything, because I have many answers.

I no longer want to show, because I see too thoroughly.

I won't talk about it constantly, because it will be boring.

I no longer think about the opposite sex, because when I look at them, I just smile. There may be some memories in my eyes, but the figures in my memories may not be clear.

My only pursuit is to make myself comfortable and calm in my heart. It seems that everything in this world has become better in my eyes.

This life lasted for a long time... Until one day, I touched my face and felt a lot of wrinkles. I looked at my hands and saw a lot of wrinkles and patches.

My eyes are also a little dim, and everything around me is blurred, but looking at me in the mirror, I still try my best to straighten my body, and my smile is still beautiful.

Just... Outside the mirror, I know, I'm afraid.

I became very timid, I became very cautious.

I know what I'm afraid of, because sometimes when I wake up at night, I seem to see the figure transformed by the breath of death, staring at me silently outside the window.

It seems that they are calling me and waiting for me.

I don't want to follow them.

Even some of them are old friends of mine.

I don't want to see them. I'm afraid.

I don't want to die, I want to live, always live... This urge to survive makes me sometimes feel uncomfortable breathing.

At this time, I will pay attention to those old friends who are still there, and tell them to pay attention to their health, because... I don't want to see them go away.

This will make me more breathless and more afraid of death.

People, why should there be death.

I often think about this question, and also think about what I am afraid of. Is it true that I am afraid of death

The answer is yes.

But behind this affirmative answer, I have another answer.

I'm afraid of loneliness.

I'm gone, I'll be lonely.

If they leave, I will also be lonely.

This fear of death and loneliness turned into a force that seemed to fill my whole body to support my existence, but... My body seemed to be riddled with holes. After this force emerged, it dissipated along those holes at the speed that I could see with my naked eyes.

I want to keep them, but I can't.

It seems that I don't even have the strength to get up. I feel the breath of death has filled me. My desire and everything seem to be disappearing.

At that moment, I suddenly understood a truth.

Fear is useless.

That day, I remember, I seemed to have strength again, so I tried to sit up, dressed myself neatly, walked to the yard, walked to my rocking chair, and finally I sat on the rocking chair and looked at the sunset in the distance.

The autumn wind blew, and it was cold, making the branches in the yard shake slightly.

On that branch, in this season, there is only a yellowing leaf left, curling and sticking to it.

I looked at the sunset and the only leaf on the branch, and suddenly felt that all this was very beautiful. Gradually... I smiled.

In this smile... I saw the setting sun, I saw the moment when the dusk passed, the only leaf on the branch fell.

Floating... Just like my rocking chair.

Until it came to my eyes, covered my eyes and covered all the light, so that the world came to an end in my eyes.

But my consciousness did not seem to dissipate.

It's dark all around me. I don't know where I am. Maybe I'm still in the rocking chair

It is precisely because my consciousness is still there that... I have this memory of my life.

I think my life may not be wonderful for others, but for me, this is my only one.

It is also at this time that I seem to hear the call again and hear the sound

It seems that someone is calling me to wake me up

But I can't hear it clearly, and I can only recognize it by my feelings, and the voice is somewhat familiar, as if I had heard it in the past time.

"What is he talking about..."

"Speak up, I can't hear you." I turned to the darkness and tried to speak. Maybe my efforts worked. Gradually, when my consciousness was about to blur, my voice became clearer.

"Hope... You can live forever and be free."

My thoughts shook violently!

"Hope... You can live forever, carefree and happy."

My consciousness set off a huge wave!!

"Hope... You can live forever and never forget your original heart."

My heart roars!!!

"Hope... You can live forever, happy and beautiful."

My spirit shakes the star ring!!!!

"Finally, I'll give you back the name wangbaole." Familiar voice, the moment when it came into my ears... The body floating in the starry sky, its eyes... Suddenly opened!!!

"My name is... Wangbaole!"

Final chapter

Thick Saturn rings.

In the starry void, wangbaole stood silently at the place where he woke up, with a thick complexity in his eyes, staring at the distance for a long time... He raised his hand and touched the center of his eyebrows.

After a while, Wang Baole sighed softly, as if he had known it for a long time. He put down his right hand and grabbed it in the distance. A bead and a wine gourd appeared in front of him.

Looking at the bead, Wang Baole was silent for a long time. His left hand raised and gently held it.

The size of the bead is exactly three inches of the palm, which is all he has and his world.

Finally, he picked up the wine pot with his right hand, put it on his mouth, and drank a big mouthful... He shook his head bitterly, and silently walked to the Starry Sea in the distance.

His back, lonely, bleak, the farther he goes, the farther he goes.

"This lonely road, or... Go on..."

Finally, it was an illusion

Who is the gift and who is the robbery

End of the book