Chapter 12

If one goes through war for a long time, he/she will see many people who are out of their minds. Maybe Christa could be said to be of that kind.

Her recklessness has plagued Ragnar for a long time.

“I think it’s because the expedition was too long.”

“What? What are you talking about, Captain?”

In his barracks, he confided his secret feelings to Mervin Ferride, an old friend and his Chief of Staff. Mervin, who knew him best, seemed to know his pain.

“My type of women are just cute and lively…….”

“The kind of person who doesn’t get in the way, isn’t clingy, and a person whom I don’t have to take care of.”

Watching the leader talk nonsense while spouting his false views of women, he felt sorry for his situation. Mervin Ferride sighed quietly.

‘What should I do with that guy’s unreasonable view of women?’

When he uselessly seduces women, it was mostly Mervin’s responsibility to take care of them. Rather, he thought it would be better for him to date someone rather than do that. It was a nuisance anyway.

But the chief of staff’s job was to solve the leader’s problems using their brains. Mervin had long been aware that the subject of his boss’s excessive interest and concern was related to Knight Palmaril.

No, he showed such a blatant interest, but unless she’s a fool, there’s no way she wouldn’t have noticed.

“Wouldn’t it be better not to seduce a colleague here in the future?”

“What nonsense are you talking about again?”

Seeing that he was bringing up a story about a woman, it was clear who the woman he was referring to. He thinks it’s time to end this fruitless conversation.

The victory of the Battle of Logolian marked the victory of the war. Now, the end was on the horizon.

“It’s because you haven’t seen a woman for a long time.”

“Maybe it is. Still, it’s the end of the war.”

Mervin didn’t deny that they hadn’t seen a woman for a long time. His boss was really a man who seduces people without a thought.

For Ragnar, it was a kind of play. He seemed to enjoy the boundary of the emotion that seemed to give him attention. But he didn’t give his sincerity to anyone. The rumor of him being a playboy deserved to spread.

Such a person is now only interested in the woman nearest to him because his supply and demand have been disrupted. It was because the war was too long. Mervin decided to think so.

“Still, don’t seduce your colleague here. It’s quite a headache for me to clean up.”

Still, Ragnar was not yet a man without dignity enough to seduce his colleague here, and Christa Palmaril was not much worried because she was a million light years away from Ragnar’s taste.

Besides, doesn’t Ragnar say it himself?

“Am I crazy? If I go to the capital, the women who are looking for me will be waiting for me, pulling out their turntable.”

His eyes kept turning to her while saying that.

Seeing her eat as much as a bird’s feed made him want to feed her something else. So, especially during mealtime, he wandered around her and made her eat even one more bowl.

Christa also seemed to be feeling burdened by her boss’s excessive interest. So she quickly disappeared somewhere during mealtime.

But Ragnar quickly found her. Even if she hides with all the best of her ability as a skirmisher.

‘Why are you so skinny?’

He doesn’t feel good seeing a skinny woman. It was because he remembered the old memories that he tried to forget.

“Yudina…”

It’s been a long time since he’s said that name. He doesn’t know how many years it’s been. His mouth tasted bitter.

He’s sure he’ll have nightmares tonight. Ragnar tried to get rid of his disbelief by washing his dry face one after another.

An overly thin woman who always whispers her death to him.

☆*: .｡.  .｡.:*☆

Her long hair slowly wound around his neck. No matter how hard he tried to escape, he couldn’t get out. Ten fingers clasped around his neck. Her pale, thin fingers were stuck in Ragnar’s throat.

The pressure was so high that he could hardly breathe. A breathtaking swamp of despair enveloped him. She still begs him again and again. Hot tears rolled down the back of her hand.

Everything about her was cold, but only tears had warmth.

How come this feeling doesn’t change over time. Why can’t these tears stop?

He didn’t want to see the resentment in her eyes, so he turned his eyes away. No, he had to go back. He couldn’t stand that empty look.

But in his dream, it wasn’t even possible. Ragnar noticed that he was in his usual nightmare that was hard to wake up to.

And at that moment he woke up.

When he blinked, the stark scenery inside the barracks where he usually slept came into view. He felt alive only when he saw the tarpaulin ceiling, dirty table, map, and random boots.

“Heok…Heuuuk.”

At last he breathed heavily. He didn’t even remember how to breathe until a while ago, but his sly lung now needed oxygen to burn life.

Since when did he start having sleep paralysis? He had that dream again. A cold sweat ran down his spine. His sweaty body was unpleasant.

It was a dream that he didn’t have recently. It was all because of the strange woman that made him dream like this. Christa Palmaril. Because of her.

“……I need to turn my attention off of her.”

Ragnar murmured, inhaling a tepid breath. If he could erase it, he wanted to get rid of the stains on the white cloth as if he’s cutting out paper.

However, Ragnar’s mind was filled with thoughts about the woman, as if the more he thinks he shouldn’t think of her, the more she occupies his mind.

Sometimes his thoughts become so excessive that he thinks he’s going crazy.

The war that lasted for 10 years ended in the form of imperial unification led by Tiernat after the final battle.

Tiernat, Kalandi, Barich. The former three kingdoms became the new empire Cassidenia. The war came to an end. Fragments of paper flowers burst out here and there. Everyone was having a toast and cheerful music played in the street. The era of peace has started.

That’s how Ragnar thought his short, unpleasant relationship with Christa Palmaril was over.

It’s a shame, but that’s it. Emotions fade when there’s nothing to see.

It will no longer be his concern if her horribly slender limbs, pale face, dead eyes, and weak-looking gait does not catch his eye anymore. I had to be.