Chapter 1

Hey, Minhui. Check out that part-time worker.

Why? Is he an acquaintance?

In a PC cafe where game noises were blasting from all sides, two women whispered while glancing at Sugyeom.

From the moment the two had walked in, one of the women had been eyeing Sugyeom on the side. Having sensed their gaze, he had hurriedly found a hat to wear, but it seemed to be of no use.

Doesnt he look like Song Sugyeom?

Who?

The woman asked back with a lack of interest as her eyes withdrew to her computer screen. She soon bounced in her chair, seemingly thrilled. The topic of Sugyeom had only lasted a very brief moment.

Huh? Great, great! Theres an empty seatwhat? I didnt get it? Damn it. Aahh, why do I pay tuition just to suffer with registering for courses! Im screwed. Im going to ask the professors on the first week to accept my tears and take pity on me as a last resort. Im not joking. I wont be able to graduate at this rate

Ah! I knew you were going to fail. Have you ever succeeded in registering for a course since freshman year? Why are you making a fuss as if youre surprised?

What do you mean by that?

Really, have you ever succeeded in getting a spot?

I guess not?

I had registered for Professor Lee Gyeongsus course as insurance. Ill give it to you.

It was surprising there were so many customers here at the PC cafe early in the morning, but it seemed to be because it was course registration season.

The two bantered for a while as they registered for their courses. As such, Sugyeom had thought the first womans interest in him had died, but instead she comforted the woman named Minhui before turning her attention back to him again.

GreatThank you, thank you As expected, you havent lost your touch from the time you were an idol fanaticThe god of ticketing, the grape collector, Yuha is the best.

(Note: Ticketing means concert tickets. Grape means the thing you have to click on to buy tickets on Interpark.)

Yes. Go ahead and praise me. Anyway, you know the celebrity that I was a fan of in high school?

Werent you obsessed with one or two back then?

But even so, you know who caused me the most heartache? The really pretty guy from U-PITE.

U-PITE. Just the mere mention of it made Sugyeoms nose twitch. He wanted to leave because he felt a knot in his stomach and thought he would cry. However, he couldnt because a customer had just come in.

Hearing about U-PITE pained him, but without realizing it, he concentrated on their conservation.

The fact that there was someone who had remembered his story, which had once shone brightly, was comforting in the midst of the sad truth.

Oh, I know. Youre talking about him, right? The pretty guy with pink hair.

Ah, right! Doesnt that part-time worker over there look like him?

Is that so? WellOh, hey, they do look alike. I guess thats him?

Eh, no way. Although U-PITE went under, would he be working at a PC cafe? He would have made a lot of money.

Well, youre rightEven failed celebrities could still eat and live well with the money they had earned.

Sugyeom forced himself to hold back his laughter. Only a few failed celebrities ate and lived well. And, it would be funny to say such celebrities had actually failed.

There wasnt much a truly failed celebrity could do.

It was especially worse for idols that became idol trainees at a young age and didnt go to school properly. Finding a stable job was like grabbing a star in the sky, and it was commonplace for them to barely make a living working part-time.

Unfortunately, Sugyeom was the latter.

Ha, why did my Sugyeom do thataye. Crazy, Ill say. He should have taken advantage of that pretty face. Why did he suddenly catch Military Diseasetsk, he sabotaged his own fortune.

(Note: Military Disease/ is usually a term idol fans use to describe cute/pretty idols who grow a beard, tan themselves, or pack on muscles.)

One of the women talking to herself was like a dagger stabbing at Sugyeom.

He bit his plump lips. Hearing his past through other peoples mouths cruelly made it all too real.

Everything the woman who was once his fan had said was true.

Attention had been drawn to his pretty face since the beginning of his debut as an idol.

Not only did the agency push for his coupling, but also among the fans he was intertwined with practically every member. Such was the role of a bottom.

Hey, lets go now. I have to be at my part-time job later, so I need to get some sleep.

Okay. Dont forget to give me your spot.

Of course. But you pay for the PC cafes bill.

Deal! Thats only fair.

The two women stood up. In order to avoid the glare of the two approaching the counter to pay, Sugyeom put on his hat again and lowered his head deeply.

Ill pay the bill.

They held out their computer pin cards and a check card side by side.

Sugyeom didnt raise his head and only received their cards as he finished the payment quickly. After the two completely disappeared out of the door, he still kept his head down. It was like he was a person who was guilty of something.

Ha.

It wasnt until a long time later that he breathed a sigh of regret. It was because of the remark, He should have taken advantage of that pretty face. Why did he suddenly catch Military Diseasetsk, he sabotaged his own fortune that kept ringing in his head.

That was exactly what had happened. He had sabotaged his own fortune.

At first, his pretty face had caught peoples attention, but he didnt like what had happened afterwards when he kept hearing about his coupling with other members just because of his pretty face. It was even more so because his role was that of a bottom rather than top.

He was confident in his skills as a singer, but no one seemed to care. Not only that, ridiculous rumors began to emerge.

That he was really gay, or that his pretty face was actually the result of getting hit by hormones, or that he even bribed to earn his debut, and so on

In the end, two years after his debut and before the groups first featured album was to be released, he exercised like crazy to build up his body despite the agencys dissuasion. And since he wanted to pack on muscles but was naturally skinny, he forcefully gained weight.

He completely tanned his fair skin, ruining it in the process. It was also impossible to grow a complete beard, so he inevitably settled for a mustache.

Although he had the largest fandom and couldnt realistically be kicked out, even the CEO of the agency came forward and asked him to quit U-PITE if he was going to do this to himself.

What an idiot. The fans like it, so just play along. Why are you so stubborn?

It was a regret he had experienced countless times, but nevertheless, it still hurt as if it was the first time.

He smiled deprecatingly at himself as he quickly wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes with the back of his hand.

The official fancafe and the unofficial fan pages were turned upside down on the day the music video teaser for U-PITEs first featured album was released.

It wasnt the full music video, but nearly half of the pre-ordered albums had been canceled. The fancafe was so critical that it was indistinguishable from an anti-fancafe.

There were some suggestions to wait a little longer because the full music video hadnt been released yet, and it was even before their live performance, but even that didnt last long.

Following everything, the results were disastrous.

Unlike the second mini-album that was nominated for the top spot on cable music broadcasts, the first featured album was difficult to find on any ranking charts.

In the end, Sugyeom hurriedly shaved his mustache, whitened his tanned skin, and even lost weight to return to his original appearance. However, at that time, another members secret love affair emerged.

It would have been fortunate if it ended there.

Another member was revealed to be actually gay, and it was later discovered that he had even used drugs.

Then, rumors of discord among members, sex scandals, character controversies, and even assault disputes.

Aside from Sugyeom, the other four members made foolish decisions one after another.

In the end, U-PITE fell into the abyss a year after their debut and broke into pieces.

That was already five years ago. Sugyeom naturally lost contact with the other members, and he couldnt even tell if they were dead or alive.

Sugyeom was a trainee for six arduous years before his debut, so he couldnt attend middle school properly and had even dropped out of high school. There was no way he could have made friends in the process.

And, it was too short of a time since his debut to make celebrity friends.

As a result, Sugyeom, who was originally an orphan, didnt have any friends to reach out to.

Even counting the money he had earned in the one year, there was so much he had to spend on since his days as a trainee that his account didnt even amount to 10 million won.

Sugyeom himself hadnt committed any crime, but he was unable to make a comeback as a celebrity due to his image of a failed idol. In addition, there were no employment opportunities. He was literally gasping for air.

He had to live somehow, so he had managed to continue his life by moving from one part-time job to another. For as long as five years.

The more he thought about it, the more he was amazed. Who knew that life would be so twisted by a moments mistake.

Having recalled the past, the feeble Sugyeom stood absentmindedly at the counter.

At that moment, chat orders appeared on his screen that read, Ramen, Ramen, and Hurry up.

Naturally, such was the reality for him now.

* * *

Sugyeom precariously walked up a flight of stairs. After emptying a bottle of soju at a convenience store, he was on his way home from work.

A half-studio apartment located at a villa atop a slope.

Ill really give it my all if Im given another chance.

His desperate plea rang softly in the quiet streets.

Ill reallyIll really do my best.

Words no one could hear quickly faded in the cold wind.

Bottom coupling, pretty member, or whateverIll do it all without complaints.

He knew. Such an opportunity would never come again. He knew, but under the influence of alcohol, he whispered his wish quietly.

So, just onceJust give me one chance.

The murmurs of his voice gradually grew quieter. He knew it would never come true, so he didnt dare wish out loud.

Huh, ah!

At that moment, he lost his balance at the end of the steep stairs. He thought he should hold onto something, but in his drunken state his body didnt listen.

Eventually, he fell down the long flight of stairs.