51. Depressed

I slowly drifted awake and took a deep breath, then sighed. My leg was already aching and I wasn't due for another dose of healing magic till tonight. Today was going to suck.

I pulled myself upright and glanced around. I was alone in bed, but that was to be expected. I'd slept in again and it was a weekday. According to the clock it was half past nine, Wednesday morning.

I pulled the duvet aside and rubbed my thigh to try and soothe the unhappy muscle. The scars were still bright and pink, they looked as fresh as they did the day after it happened. Most of the time I was used to it. It was just a routine part of my life. Most days it didn't really bother me too much.

Some days though, I hated it.

It was supposed to get better. I knew it would be a slow process, but nearly three years had passed since the vargur almost took my leg. Three years of magical healing every other day. Three years of being wary of stairs, of not being able to run, of having to limit my physical activity. Three years of pain.

It took a few minutes of gentle massage, but eventually the aching subsided enough that I felt like getting up. I slipped out of bed and wandered naked over to the window. It was a nice view, we had a huge backyard with about a dozen mature trees. And the yard backed onto a heavily-wooded ravine, with a creek at the bottom.

The place was about an hour's drive north of the city, the building was a renovated farm house. We had three bedrooms upstairs, including a nice master-bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. And downstairs there was a spacious country kitchen, a nice dining room, and a warm cosy living-room with a wood stove and some bay windows that gave us a view of the front lawn and one side of our property. And of course there was a laundry/utility room, and a room we used for storage and as office space. Outside we had about six acres in total, but only one acre was cleared as front- and back-yards with the house in the middle. The other five were woods, including part of that ravine out the back.

We moved here just over two years ago, about a month before my first anniversary of being me.

It was a big change from life in the city, but there were a few things I just loved about the place. First and formost, it was mine. I wasn't living under Kelsey's roof, or anyone else's. It was quiet, the nearest neighbours were a quarter-kilometer away. And we had nature at the end of our backyard.

Another huge bonus was a little glade in the ravine where the veil was thin enough that we could cross over. So we practically had all of Otherworld less than a fifteen-minute walk out our back door.

I continued staring out the window for a few more minutes, at the pretty little gazebo at the end of the yard. In the summer it was a nice romantic place to sit and cuddle and watch the sun set. It was too cool for that now though. The leaves were all orange and gold and red, and half of them were already on the ground.

Eventually I found my nightshirt on the floor and slipped it on, along with some fuzzy slippers. I leaned against the wall as I carefully made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I was pleasantly surprised to find the coffee machine was on and there was about three-quarters of a pot of fresh coffee already waiting for me. I fixed myself a mug of glorious caffeinated brew, and limped into the living room. It was nice and cosy in there, there was a fire going in the wood stove in the corner.

I was on my way to the sofa when I realized it was occupied, so I changed course and limped over to the recliner instead. I gently lowered myself down into the comfortable seat and tilted it back to lift my legs up. Then I looked over at the tall, beautiful redhead laying on the sofa in her emerald-green satin pyjamas.

She had a mug on the coffee table next to her, but she was just staring at the wood stove for now. She hadn't acknowledged me yet, but she knew I was there. I could tell from her expression she was having one of those days too.

I had a sip of coffee then finally asked, "Hey Keira, what's up? I thought you had classes today?"

She shrugged, "Didn't feel like it."

I couldn't argue with that. And honestly I was the last person to talk to anyone about cutting class. After another sip of coffee I asked, "Kelly went though, right?"

"Yeah," Keira rolled her eyes. "You know she wouldn't miss class. She's serious about that stuff."

I nodded quietly. They'd both graduated their college courses a little over two years ago. Kelly worked night and day to make up for the two months she'd missed, but she managed to graduate on schedule. After that their mom gave them the choice of either getting jobs, or continuing their education. Both twins opted for more school, but this time they picked university.

Now Kelly was working towards getting her doctorate in psychology, she had plans of someday working with fae and part-fae people here on Earth. She figured there were barely any therapists that fae here could talk to about their unique issues. It all sounded really clever and ambitious, and she seemed to truly believe in it, that she was going to help people and make a difference.

And Keira had gone into history, she was interested in learning about the past. At one point she'd talked about getting a job in a museum, as a curator or something. I had no idea if she was still interested in that. She kind of lost interest in a lot of things last year, when... Crap.

Suddenly I realized why she was home today, why she was having one of those days. Today was the anniversary. I wanted to say something, to be supportive or whatever. I had no idea what to say though. Safest just to stay quiet unless she mentioned it first.

I wound up just sipping my coffee in silence. Eventually I got up and limped back to the kitchen to pour another.

"What's with the limp?" Keira asked as I shuffled past her. "Did you miss a treatment or something?"

I sighed, "Nah, it's not due till tonight. I don't know, maybe it's the weather? It's getting colder out."

She sat up and watched as I made my way into the kitchen. "Do you want me to do it now?"

I smiled, "Thanks for the offer Keira, but I should wait till tonight. If we do them too early it just makes things worse in the long run."

She nodded, then followed me into the kitchen. After we both refilled our mugs, she led me back into the living room then said "C'mere. Sit down." She motioned towards the sofa.

She sat next to me, then pulled up the hem of my nightshirt and started massaging my thigh.

I probably should have asked her to stop, but honestly it felt like it was helping. And I realized it might be helping her too. It was always easier to help other people with their crap, than it was to deal with your own crap. I figured if this was helping get her mind off Amy then I was willing to go along with it.

"Thanks Keira," I sighed a little. "That feels pretty good."

She continued massaging the muscle as she asked, "It's coming up on three years, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, in about two months. It was some time around the middle of November."

She gave me a sympathetic smile as she gently teased, "Must be annoying being the Great and Powerful Tegan Vale, hot-shit fae mage of legend, but you still can't fix your own sore leg."

There wasn't any ire in her voice and I knew she wasn't trying to be cruel. She'd changed a lot in the last couple years, especially since she moved in with me and Kelly. I guess her words could have come across as hurtful but I knew she was being more of a brat right now rather than actually trying to be mean.

I rolled my eyes and teased back, "Hey I might not be able to fix my leg, but you be nice or the great and powerful me will mess you up, kid."

She just grinned as she continued kneading and rubbing my leg.

That was a little in-joke me and Keira had going. She'd call me the G. and P.T.V. or sometimes she'd call me ma'am, and I'd call her kid. It was ironic because I looked like the kid compared to her and Kelly.

All three of us were twenty-five, but the two of them looked it. They were right on the verge of going from 'young women' to 'women'. They were aging and maturing at normal human speed, despite being one-quarter fae. Meanwhile I was full-fae and in the three years since my changeling egg hatched, I hadn't aged a day.

I looked nineteen, but I could pass for as young as seventeen thanks to my size. Or I could look a little older if I tried. But for the most part, I looked nineteen. And I was going to keep looking like this for a long time. Kelsey told me once I'd probably get carded in bars till I was a hundred.

I'd figured out the comparative aging between humans and fae. We aged way slower, but it wasn't a consistent thing. The first hundred years we grew to look twenty-ish, then we hit our prime and just sort of stayed there for a long time. It was going to take me about three centuries till I looked like a human would at thirty. Or put it another way, I was going to look nineteen for another two decades or so. By my hundredth birthday I might look twenty-two.

After a few more minutes I said, "Ok Keira, that's good thanks. Coffee's getting cold though, right?"

"Ok Tegan," she picked up her mug and sat back on the sofa.

I did the same, and had a sip of coffee as I relaxed next to her.

After a few minutes she asked, "Seriously though, are you still trying to solve the problem with your leg?"

"Yeah," I replied with another sigh. "I had a theory, but the only way to know for sure is to try it. It's pretty high-risk though. If I'm right, it's cured and I'm fine. If I'm wrong, then I probably wind up permanently disabled. So I've shelved that idea and I'm starting over, trying to find a different angle."

Keira sighed, "I'm sorry. It seems like a really shitty thing to have to deal with. I mean, everything else sort of worked out really good for you right? It's like fate couldn't let you have a perfect happy end, so it had to twist the knife somewhere."

I grimaced, "It's annoying. But I mean, it's not the only let-down. It's just the only one that's not my own dumb fault."

She reached over and gave me a little smack on the upper arm. "No self-pity today, ma'am. Today's my day for self-pity."

I hesitated, but figured she brought it up so maybe it'd be ok to ask. "How're you doing with that? Are you ok?"

Her face fell, her expression shifted to a dark frown. She was quiet for a few moments, then shrugged. "It still hurts, you know? I mean, I never got the chance to apologize. Or even really say goodbye."

Keira's voice trailed off and she shook her head slowly. The look of pain in her eyes was strong enough I could feel it myself. I leaned closer and gave her a friendly hug.

"I'm sorry Keira," I said softly. "I didn't mean to dredge up old hurt."

"Not your fault, Tegan. I was already wallowing in it before you got out of bed."

We both sighed, and sipped our coffee in silence for a while.

It started just over a year ago. Keira and Amy had a huge fight, broke up, it was over. Keira packed up her stuff and came over here to stay with me and Kelly. She moped about for a week, then decided to go back and try to patch things up with Amy. She was going to apologize, admit she'd been wrong, and she hoped Amy would forgive her.

One year ago today the three of us drove over there together. Me and Kelly were going to drop Keira off then hang out at the nearest cafe and wait for her to call or text so we'd know whether to head home or to come get her. We stopped in town on the way, Keira wanted to buy a bouquet of flowers and some wine. Then we ran into Amy at the liquor store.

We thought it was going to be awkward, we thought Keira would try and apologize right there while me and Kelly quietly snuck away. What actually happened was much worse.

Amy didn't remember us. Any of us. At all.

Her mind had been tampered with, memories erased. Someone must have known Amy knew the Connolly twins were part-fae, and that I was fae nobility. She'd been safe as long as she was with Keira, but once they broke up someone scrubbed the three of us from her mind. It left her with huge gaps in her memory though, and she was just sort of getting by.

The only mercy was at least Amy was still alive and functional. But the relationship between her and Keira was erased, gone forever. And with it had gone any hope Keira had of getting back together with her.

Keira was completely devastated. Me and Kelly brought her back home with us, and let her stay as long as she wanted. Basically let her move in.

What really bothered me, apart from seeing my girlfriend's sister absolutely crushed and a friend's mind messed with, was we never found out who did it.

Kelly talked with their mother, but Kelsey said her father couldn't find any answers. I made some enquiries through my own fae family, I knew Maeve had some contacts over here, but they didn't turn up anything either. I had some suspicions of my own, but without proof I couldn't say anything about it. Not to Kelly and Keira, anyways.

Eventually I got up and offered, "Have you eaten? I'll make us some breakfast. How's pancakes sound?"

Keira gave me a weak smile, "Sounds good. Thanks Tegan."

I smiled back at her then shuffled into the kitchen to get started.

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