CH 84

Name:101st Confession Author:
Lucia visited Bern for the first time in a long time, and they discuss the engagement.

“Well, I think we should wait until after the summer festival.”

“……….”

“The summer festival is in two weeks, so we’ll have a lot of time to prepare for the engagement.”

“……….”

“What should I wear for the engagement?”

“……….”

Lucia looked up from her list of engagement preparations when she heard no answer.

She’d thought Bern was a little off since they’d met, but now he was completely distracted as if his mind was elsewhere.

Lucia waved her palm in front of Bern’s eyes.

“Bern? Bern!”

“……aah! Sorry, I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

Bern stumbled back to his feet.

“We were trying to set a date for our engagement, right? I’m afraid I’m going to have to work until the summer festival, so it won’t be possible then.”

Then she brought up what had already been discussed.

In Lucia’s eyes, Bern did not seem to have come to his senses yet.

Finally, Lucia put the papers on the table.

“I don’t think we can discuss anything today in this state.”

“I’m sorry, are you angry……?”

“No, I’m not angry, I’m just saying that ever since we met, Bern hasn’t seemed to be able to concentrate.”

“I’m ashamed.”

Bern bowed his head and apologized profusely. He removed his glasses tiredly and swept them across his face.

“It was hard to make an appointment today. You must have been very busy with your work.”

Lucia spat the words out without thinking, but Bern winced as his feet went numb.

Lucia was right, they should have made an appointment to discuss the engagement. However, Bern kept making excuses and postponing the appointment until today.

“Or is something bothering you?”

Lucia’s genuine concern made Bern feel guilty.

Celine was the reason he’d been putting off the appointment.

She’d been hovering around him ever since the day she’d broken her ankle.

Every time he saw her limping with a foot that hadn’t healed, he couldn’t bring himself to give her the cold shoulder.

Eventually, he found himself in Celine’s presence more and more every day.

It wasn’t that he gave up his side, but it was true that he left Lucia behind and met Celine, whether he intended or not.

He felt bad for Lucia like he was cheating on her.

“No, it’s not, I’ve just been a little tired lately, and I’m sorry if I worried you unnecessarily.”

“Work is good, but take it easy, or you’ll fall.”

“…… Okay, I’ll do that.”

“Hmm, well, you don’t seem to be feeling too well today, so that’s all for now, but let’s set a date for the engagement and part ways. You said you’re busy until the summer festival, right?”

“Yes, after the summer festival, it will be somewhat over, so I think it would be better to hold the engagement after that.”

“Well, why don’t we push it back even further?”

“Further back? Didn’t you say you wanted to do it before the summer?”

“Well, yes, but there’s a lot more to prepare than I thought, so I think it’s best to have more time to prepare.”

Following Lucia, who sighed, Bern examined the papers arranged on the table.

Lucia had organized them for the busy Bern, and they were all necessary for the engagement.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things more difficult for you.”

“You don’t have to apologize, you have enough on your plate, and I don’t want to add to it. I’m relatively laid back compared to Bern, so it’s right for me to do it.”

“But you must have had a hard time putting all this together, I’m surprised at how meticulous the materials are, and there were more things needed for the engagement than I thought. You’re amazing, Lucia.”

Despite Bern’s praise, somehow Lucia felt uncomfortable with it.

It wasn’t that Bern was uncomfortable, but that she was working on the engagement for an impure purpose.

‘I actually chose work as an escape…….’

She’d thought of him every day since the day she’d kissed Herwin.

When he started appearing in her dreams and making it impossible for her to function, she seemed to run to Herwin, leaving Bern behind.

So she deliberately took over Bern’s job and frantically prepared for the engagement.

She thought that by constantly reminding herself of her relationship with Bern, and by putting her body through the wringer, she would be able to put Herwin out of her mind.

Luckily, she was able to put him out of her mind while preparing for the engagement.

Of course, Herwin would interrupt her efforts by sending her various letters and gifts along the way.

It was a good thing he hadn’t come to see her in person.

“So, shall we do as Lucia says and postpone the engagement a little longer?”

“Yes, let’s do that, there’s no need to rush things.”

“As soon as I finish my work, I’ll help you prepare for the engagement, too. So since the engagement ceremony has been postponed, you should take a rest now.”

“Oh…okay…….”

With nothing to do for the moment, Lucia was afraid that Herwin would invade her head again.

But she couldn’t hold it in.

She couldn’t tell Bern what had happened between her and Herwin.

Realizing that she was thinking about Herwin again, Lucia quickly changed the subject to get him out of her head.

“Bern will be attending this summer festival, won’t he?”

“Of course, I’ll be there, it’s one of the biggest events of the imperial year.”

“Then will you also be attending the Hunting Festival on the second day?”

At the mention of the hunting festival, Bern hesitated for a moment.

“Well, to be honest, I’m not very good at anything physical, so I’m not very good at hunting compared to others, but…….”

As he spoke, Bern looked at Lucia with a gentle smile.

“I’ll try to catch a fox for my fiancée.”

Was it flirting? Or is it still, since he sometimes acts smirky?

Lucia thought for a moment, momentarily distracted by Bern’s entrance, and then smiled back.

“Then I’ll have to get a handkerchief for my fiancé, too. Do you have a favorite pattern or animal?”

“I’m fine with anything Lucia does.”

“You don’t realize that anything is the hardest, do you?”

“Haha, is that so, well, then…….”

Bern’s face stiffened as he thought about what to say.

He suddenly remembered Celine.

‘Bern, look at this. Isn’t it pretty?’

At the Academy, in their secret room, Celine showed Bern the handkerchief she had finished.

It was embroidered with delicate flowers in beautifully colored blue thread.

‘What kind of flower is this?’

‘It’s a forget-me-not. It’s my favorite flower.’

‘Really? What made you like it?’

Celine smiled and whispered in Bern’s ear.

‘Because forget-me-not symbolizes true love.’

They had only been dating for a year. The shy smile on Celine’s face as she whispered those words was beautiful.

He kept the handkerchief she finished that day, and she often embroidered forget-me-not ever since.

‘Surely there are other symbols besides true love…….’

“Bern?”

Bern, who had been immersed in the past, heard Lucia’s voice and suddenly came to his senses.

Not once, but twice, with Lucia in front of him, he thought of Celine.

‘What are you doing to your fiancée? Get a grip!’

Bern chastised himself and smiled awkwardly, giving the impression he had crumbled.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted for a second. I really don’t care about anything.”

“Aren’t you giving me too much homework?”

Bern laughed as Lucia made a pouty face.

“If that’s the case, I’ll ask you to do it in the colors of the Casper family crest.”

Lucia smiled as if it was a satisfactory answer.

“Yes, I will. If Bern wants to catch the fox, he’ll have to use some strength.”

“Oh…….”

Bern was puzzled, and Lucia giggled as she glanced at him.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not joking. Bern, you promised to catch the fox first.”

“Ah, well… I guess I’d better get some hunting practice in now to live up to your expectations.”

Lucia smiled expectantly. Then she hummed and organized the papers on the table.

After gathering her papers, Lucia stood up.

“Even if you’re busy, let’s get together before the summer festival.”

“Sure. I’ll be sure to clear some time.”

“I’m sure you’re tired, so get some rest today. I’ll be off then.”

To see Lucia off, Bern followed behind her. As Lucia’s brown hair bounced, Bern pursed his lips.

“Hey, Lucia.”

Lucia turned around. He knew it was rude of him, but he thought Lucia might know.

“Do you know… forget-me-not?”

“Forget-me-not? Isn’t that the name of a flower?”

“Yes, that’s right, I thought of forget-me-not when you mentioned embroidery, but I couldn’t remember its meaning. Do you know anything?”

Bern swallowed hard despite himself.

Even if Lucia didn’t know the truth, it was quite rude to ask about forget-me-not when he had memories of Celine.

Still, he was so curious to know what the forget-me-not meant besides true love. So much so that he wanted to know right now.

Lucia scratched her head and pondered.

“I’m not much of a flower person, but I’m pretty sure forget-me-not means true love.”

“Ah…I see.”

He guesses she doesn’t know any other flower symbols after all. Bern’s shoulders sagged involuntarily.

“Oh, there’s one more.”

Just then, Lucia spoke another symbol.

“Don’t forget me.”

“What ……?”

“That’s a forget-me-not, too. ‘Don’t forget me.’ It follows true love. So you see, forget-me-not is quite a lovely flower.”

Hearing Lucia’s words, Bern felt like he’d been hit over the head.

He remembered what Celine had said to him in their secret room.

‘Ever since I started dating you, forget-me-not has been my favorite flower. Every time you see it, think of me. Okay?’

Back then, they were in a relationship and she had said it in the hope that they would love each other forever, but now that she was gone, it meant something different.

His heart was empty. He remembered the despair on Celine’s face when he told her he was going to meet Lucia.

“By the way, since you know forget-me-not, you must be interested in flowers, because most guys only know the famous or common ones, like roses or tulips.”

“I found out about it …… somehow.”

“Do you like forget-me-nots?”

Celine said she likes it. Well, he doesn’t know if he likes them, too. But whenever he sees forget-me-nots, he thinks of Celine.

“I don’t like it.”

“Hmm, is that so?”

He looked like he had a story for saying he didn’t like it.

She didn’t know what it was about forget-me-nots, but Lucia thought she should embroider one on his handkerchief.

“I shouldn’t have said that. Let me show you to the carriage.”

Bern snapped out of his reverie and escorted Lucia.

He greeted her with his usual graciousness.