CH 93

Chapter 93: All I Ever Wanted To Do In My Life Was To Coo In A Castle-like Building In The Suburbs

The car drives with Ayashiro in the back.

"Hey. Don't you ever ask me where I want to go?"

"You're going to be told it doesn't matter where you go. If that's what you are now."

"Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, anywhere is fine. Anywhere where Edileza doesn't hate me..."

Suo and Ayashiro have a history together. The sin Ayashiro had mentioned before was probably something she had done to Suo. So I started the car. But I had no destination in mind. For now, I decided to get on the highway. The drive begins with absolutely no destination in mind.

After getting on the highway, Ayashiro opened her face a little and looked out the window. Then she opened her mouth.

"I met Edileza in Brazil. It was when I was still a little girl. Do you know it? Rio de Janeiro. In Brazilian Portuguese, it's called hiu-di-janeiro. Oh, yes. It was a beautiful city. And there was a big Jesus statue gently watching over the beautiful sea. I'm sorry, I'm getting off track. My parents took me there on vacation. But I was stupid and got separated from them in the city. So I wandered into the slums. I heard it is called "favela" in the local language. I was really scared in the favela. The atmosphere was different. And it was a messy, convoluted place. I just kept running. I was so scared, I ran so scared. I thought I could find my parents if I went to a higher place. But I couldn't. The children of the city surrounded me. I was so scared. They were crazy. They had guns even though they were kids. They made fun of me because I was from somewhere else. They shot the cat dead in front of me. I was so scared that I cried. But they laughed at me. It was hell. The kids were running errands for the gang. That's why the adults were too scared to help me. But then she saved me. She... Edileza. Oh, she was so beautiful. She was just a kid, a girl, and she was standing tall against the boys who were showing off their guns. I don't know what she said because I didn't understand Portuguese back then. But she protected me. She was really amazing! I wish you could have seen it! It was just a moment! Edileza easily took the gun from the boy in front of her and put it to the forehead of another boy nearby. That was all it took for anyone to move. Then Edileza took her aim away from the boy's forehead and instead shot repeatedly into the sky. And they ran away in fear of Edileza. Then Edileza pulled me by the hand and led me out of the favela. She left me at the military police station and left without saying a word. She was really cool... the nicest, coolest girl in the world."

It's a very disturbing story, but I can relate to that feeling. I would have a strong yearning for someone who would help me like that. But it's surprising. The Suo I know is a dainty, pretty, yet somewhat fragile girl. Himena's image of Edileza as a cool girl and my image of Suo as a cute girl didn't overlap. Human beings have many sides. It's no wonder that the impression one person has of me is completely different from the impression another person has of me.

"When I was still in junior high school. At the time, I was in a serious identity crisis. I couldn't get rid of my complex about my origins. The discrepancy between my self-consciousness and others' perception of me was crushing me to pieces. It was then that I met Edileza again in Tokyo... I was really surprised. We passed each other in Shinjuku. She didn't recognize me. I immediately noticed her and ran after her and called out to her. I didn't know her name at the time. But I waited desperately! Wait! I shouted. When I caught up with her, Edileza looked at me strangely. She didn't remember. I had remembered her all along! That was the beginning of our friendship. Identity crisis. Or rather, a mid-life crisis. Half-Japanese. I hate the word, but it's the only way I can describe her, and I felt a kinship with Edileza, who was in the same position as me in Japan. She was my only friend. But...but...you know. That didn't fill my loneliness. That's why I wanted more from Edileza."

Ayashiro then covered her face with her hands. She was ashamed of something. Ayashiro seemed to be tormented by guilt. In a tearful voice she said.

"I can't forgive myself...I can't forgive myself...I hurt Edileuza so badly. I hurt her with my ego. I dishonored her pride by putting up the right front. I insulted what she holds dear. I am a shameful fool. Hey, Tokiwa..."

"What is it?"

"Defile me. Make me hurt. Please humiliate and defile me hard and strong."

I thought it must be a wish to be punished. I quickly got off the highway at a nearby exit. The car reached some unknown suburb. After a short drive on a big road, I soon saw a gleaming, vulgar castle in the middle of a dreary landscape. I remembered the saying that in the countryside there are only shopping malls and love hotels as dating spots. I parked my car in the parking lot of the castle, pulled Ayashiro by the hand, and took her inside the castle. There were many rooms. We found one room that looked interesting and checked in. After entering the room, Ayashiro immediately cried and kissed me, twining her neck around my neck. Her eyes, wet with tears, are shining brighter than usual. But it's a dull light that hurts more than anything else.

"Ayashiro. Close your eyes. I want to connect with you more deeply."

Ayashiro doesn't reply. But she does as she is told and close her eyes. I put my hands on her back and took her in my arms to the back of the room. All the while our tongues were entwined. Then we reached the back of the room.

"Hey. Hey, Tokiwa. You can't dirty me with just a kiss. Please, hurry up. Please..."

I think she's rude. If I hold you, you'll get dirty or stained, isn't that too much to ask? Am I some kind of germ or something? Rather, I'd be the one who gets dirty if I hugged Ayashiro, who is a virus, wouldn't I? In other words, what I'm trying to say is.

"But I've decided. When I embrace you, I'm going to shed all your tears first."

"What does that mean...Kya!"

I hugged Ayashiro's body and fell to the side. Naturally, there was a bed there, just like in a love hotel.... There wasn't. I felt a floating sensation in my body at the end of my fall. And when I opened my eyes, I saw a blue shimmering world. This wasn't on the bed, but in the pool. I could see the face of Ayashiro, who was very surprised. There was no sadness or regret on her face. I did it. I erased the negative emotions from her face. So I smiled and kissed her in the water. And our bodies sank down, just like that. We continued to move along the bottom of the pool, still kissing. And then gradually our bodies floated up and we emerged from the water.

"What is this? Is this a swimming pool? What the hell are you doing!"

"Because you were crying. So I let those tears flow. See? Now you're not crying anymore, right?"

I put my hand on Ayashiro's cheek and rubbed the corner of her eye with my index finger. A moment ago she was crying. Now she's covered in pool water and those tears have gone away.

"You're still much, much prettier when you're not crying."

"Tokiwa...this is not fair. It's not fair. Because this is...this is...!"

Ayashiro shed tears again. But instead of sadness, there was a hint of shyness and embarrassment on her face. So I kiss Ayashiro again and we dive into the pool together. Ayashiro's hands go behind my back. We swim through the water together, kissing. When we come to the surface again, Ayashiro has a smile on her face. A big smile that overflows.

"What is this already! Haha! I feel so stupid! Hahaha! I was so depressed just now! I thought it was the end of the world! I thought nothing fun was going to happen to me+ Why is my heart shaking so much?! It's your fault, isn't it!"

Ayashiro and I put our foreheads together and whispered to each other.

"You really are such a p*ssy. You're such a creepy guy, doing something so gross to cover it up when a girl's crying. Ufufu."

"That's right. I've always wanted to be a bad boy who interrupts girls crying. Thank you for fulfilling that ambition. Kukuku."

We just gently took each other's lips in the middle of the pool. There were no more tears on Ayashiro's face.

***Author's musings***

I'd like to add a few terms.

- Rio de Janeiro

A large city in Brazil. In Portuguese, it's pronounced hiu-di-janeiro.

- Favela

Slums are called favelas in Brazil.

- Military Police

There are two types of police in Brazil: civil police (Polícia Civil) and military police (Polícia Militar).

Suo is from a favela in Hiu de Janeiro. She came to Japan with her family for various reasons.

Although Suo has one Japanese immigrant ancestor that came to Brazil, she, Ricardo, and their parents don't identify themselves as Japaness. As Brazilians, they're not particular about their roots, since they're from a racially mixed background. When she was thinking of going abroad to work, she happened to trace her family register and found that she was of Japanese descent, so she took advantage of her Japanese descent to obtain a Japanese work visa. Her awareness of Japan is that she's lucky to be able to work in a safe country.

By the way, Suo is several years older than Ayashiro. Of course, she is younger than Kanata.

By the way, what did you think of this story?

Kanata is a terrible guy! Pushing a girl into the pool while she's crying, that's just anti-corporate!

Personally, I think it was the biggest emo scene of the season.

See you next time!