CH 47

Chapter 47: Interview Before A Joint Party?

TL: Akabane

***

Santenami and I arrived at Roppongi. We were waiting in front of a convenience store near the intersection for Kirin-san and the girls we were going to have a blind date with to arrive.

"But I think that's just what I want to hear."

Taro Furuma, a mathematics student at the University of Tokyo, looked at the word "roppongi" on the highway and started to say something. Ugh.

"Oh. What did you find, Taro? Tell us."

Jiro Koshino, also one of the Santenami, urged him to go on.

"Yes, yes. I'm looking forward to seeing Taro's inspiration!"

And the last of the Santenami, Kefura Saburo, stares at Taro with sparkling eyes.

"Six. That is, one Taro x two Jiro x three Saburo. How is that a suitable number for us Santenami?"

"That's brilliant, Taro-dono. Your powers of observation are not to be underestimated."

"Yes! That's the logical conclusion of our day!"

They've been talking about all kinds of stupid things they've found in the city, mathematics and themselves since a while ago.

"Wow. I don't get it...? I'm so annoyed! What's with Santenami! Call themself a chuunibyou!"

Santenami. Santenami because all three names end in "ro". The last character "ro" is supposed to be changed according to the season. Next month, it will change from Nani to Rou...I don't give a sh*t! All of these are self-proclaimed.

"You guys...do you really know we're going to a party today?"

"Yes, I do. 4 men, 4 women."

Taro declares.

"If we exclude Tokiwa-dono and Kirin-dono, who are the organizers of the party...."

Jiro continues.

"....There are nine possible combinations of couples! You can choose as many as you want!"

Uze uze uze! Saburo-kun made a punchline. No, he didn't!

"Baka! Bakaaaa! Who's talking about the number of cases! You need to think more like this, like the probability of you being chosen!!!! If you keep being annoying like you are now, it's 0%, 0%!!! You can't make it become a couple!"

"What are you talking about, Tokiwa-dono? We are the Imperial Capital University. We're Kodai students."

"We are highly educated!"

"We're smart!_

"You fool! Dumbass! You know what? Why don't you guys have girlfriends right now! Huh?!"

If you can get a girlfriend just because of your academic background, then you don't have to go through any trouble. If it were only about education, I would have been irresistible in the world before.

"We loved certain person named princess."

"You're right. We have a princess."

"We love her! We love the princess!"

And Santenami breathed in unison.

"""I have a crush on her, so it's no wonder I can't get a girlfriend!!!!!"""

"Don't use Yuzuriha as an excuse for not having a girlfriend! Oh god. What's this...to be honest, although it's a feeling, I was quite looking forward to this event called "joint party".... I didn't know it was this annoying...!"

Santenami is really annoying. I'm a science major, but I seriously can't keep up with their incessant chattering about math theories that even I don't understand. If that's all, it's fine, but these guys are just weirdos! If I leave them alone, they start to walk around, start popping out function calculators, start to build some kind of calculation program on a touch panel PC, or spread out their notebooks on the ground and start discussing some kind of mathematical equation. It's so free. Yuzuriha also loses sight of her surroundings when she gets absorbed in mathematics, but it's not as bad as these guys! It seems that they always like this. But they just as smart as they are. Also, when I threw them in the hair salon, they were surprisingly not bad looking. Not a dark face like mine, but more of a salt and soy sauce type face. Taro is a devilishly handsome man with glasses. Jiro was an aristocrat. Saburo is a handsome short-tempered guy. They are even more annoying because of their good looks. Santenami is the one who crosses the line of unacceptable behavior even for good-looking guys without hesitation.

"Hollywood-kun, here you go. Yes!"

At my troubled place, Kirin-san came to me, alone.

"Hello, Kirin-san. Why are you alone?"

Is this that? Is this the same thing as the girls didn't show up and the blind date didn't go well? When I look at Santenami, I see that they have a blatantly depressed look on their face, as if they have guessed what's going on. What the heck. Did you guys were properly looking forward to it, huh?

"It's all right. The girls will be here in a little while. ...Can I interview the boys first? Is that okay?"

Kirin-san said in a cold voice while looking at Santenami. Her eyes were also terribly serious. Scary, to be frank. She had wavy light brown hair, flashy makeup, and a bodycon miniskirt one-piece with a stole draped over her shoulders, all in a loose, erotic, sissy style, but I could feel the pressure from her. Santenami and the others who are staring at her are obviously scared.

"Mmm-hmm. He has a nice face. I like his face. But I don't really care about that."

Kirin-san slowly starts circling Santenami, who is now standing erect and lying down. She looks at them as if licking them.

"You're smart, too. Well, that's good, but there are more important things."

Kirin-san stands in front of Taro and stares at him as if peering down at him. Taro begins to soar restlessly as the beautiful and even sexier Kirin-san stares down at him.

"Yes. That's right. That kind of thing. Yeah. That's what I like."

Kirin-san stands further in front of Jiro and lays her hand on top of his hand. Jiro's face turns red and he looks away from Kirin-san

"That's right. Because that's how it is. So I hope it stays that way."

Finally, she stands in front of Saburo and strokes her cheek. Saburo's face turns red and his eyes glaze over.

"It's like this, right? This is how it should be. I wish this is the way it should be."

Kirin-san comes over to my side, heels clacking. She gave me a thumbs up.

"It's great! I'll make sure they get to meet them!"

"Yeah...what was that a test?"

"...It's whether he can be nice to a girl or not. If it's someone who only has ulterior motives, they won't be swayed. These boys were cute with their initial reactions. So I'm sure that even if they go out with a girl, they won't do anything terrible to her."

"Oh, I see. Indeed..."

"I've decided that I'm going to be a matchmaking aunt in the future. That's why I want to match them with the right people. Rude boys are no!"

In front of her cleavage, Kirin-san crosses her arms and makes a cute batten mark.

"I just want to say, let's go then! You guys were talking in a weird way just now, spreading your notebooks on the ground and discussing things. To be honest, it took a lot of courage to talk to you!"

"Yes. Some people are always as natural as a natural number."

"That's right. We are like imaginary numbers that people don't understand."

"And as complex numbers they are!"

"Your very existence is an impossibility..."

Kirin-san smiled as if she were a compassionate mother.

"Yes. That's cute. But. For normal girls, it's a bit...nah. Super creepy."

"Right! Haha! That's hilarious! ...Ugh."

If the girl says gross, it's game over. That's game set. It doesn't matter how good you look, how smart you are, how educated you are, how much money you have.

"Hollywood-kun. What's wrong? If you don't do something about it, you're going to be a hole brother with Kei-kun!"

"Is that a punishment? Well, I've prepared a countermeasure. I didn't want to use it until the last minute."

I call a certain someone. Immediately, the person answers the phone.

"Sergeant...please help..."

||  "Yes, sir! Leave it to me!"

I turn to Santenami and point my phone at him.

||  "All ready!!!"

Milan's stern and beautiful voice echoes from the phone.

||  "Yesterday I trained you maggots to death! And now you've been corrupted!!"

"""NO, sir!"""

Santenami stood up straight and stood erect when they heard the voice.

||  "You are nothing but scum worms who masturbate and proclaim things like mathematics and logic that don't even give girls any pleasure! Shame on you!"

"""Yes, sir!"""

||  "Toruma Taro, What's your hobby?"

"Yes, sir! My hobby is badminton, which we play during breaks on campus! I like to sweat it out with my friends!"

||  "Koshino Jiro! What's your favorite book?"

"I like seinen manga! And sports magazines! Sir!"

||  "Kefura Saburo! What are you studying in school?"

"I'm studying mathematics to solve the world's problems! Sir!"

||  "Yes! Remember the hell you went through yesterday! I made you freaks into decent human beings by teaching you how to act! If you miss this day, you'll be virgins for the rest of your lives! You may know the mysteries of the world, but you will never be able to share them with anyone, and you will fall into the hell of loneliness! You want a future mate!!!"

"""Sir! Yes!!! Sir!!!"""

||  "Yes! That's the spirit! ...Look, I know you guys are good guys. But you know what? Let's try to fit in with the world once in a while. It's not the same as lying. You are nice people without any pretense. But I'm sure you're scary to girls who don't know you. So, try to be nice. Acting is fine. Just be in tune with the world, and match your pace with the girl's. Then she will get to know you. Then they will want to get to know you. The real, wonderful you. Good luck!"

Yesterday, Milan thoroughly trained Santenami and the others on how to talk and act individually. They are nice guys, but a little too quirky. It's what you'd call "girlie stuff," and from the outside it might be painful, but they still worked very hard to learn how to act. To make themselves more attractive and to eventually get the girls to see the really nice parts of their true selves.

"Yeah, I'll try my best. Thanks, Izumi-san."

"Yeah, I'll do my best. I'll try my best too. Thank you, Izumi-san."

"I'll do my very best! Thank you, Izumi-san."

Santenami bowed toward my phone.

||  "Fufufu. Good luck. See you later. Kanata."

"What?"

||  "You called me a slutty, vomitous b*tch..."

"Milan! Bye!"

I hung up the call mercilessly. I heard clapping from the side. Kirin-san clapped her hands.

"That's nice. That kind of youthful groove is great. That's right. Boys have to face love seriously and painfully, don't they? Kanata! Let's work hard today!"

I give a thumbs up to Kirin-san who gives a good job with both hands. I want to make the party a success. That's what I thought.

***A port city girl. That's a woman among women. A queen who knows all the pleasures of love.***

Guided by Kirin-san, we entered a beautiful and huge commercial building. She told me that she had the plan she wanted there. Before we met the girls at the entrance, Kirin-san said.

"Today, you are not allowed to ask them where they go to school or anything like that. Also, no real names. You must call each other by your full name. I want you to let go of the status and look at each other as individuals."

So, we were to call each other by our full names. Ayashiro had assumed that they would call each other by their full-length names, so their full-length names had already been decided. Ayashiro decided on a random name.

Fermat, for Taro Furuma.

Cauchy, for Jiro Koshino.

Kepler, for Kefura Saburo.

All of them were named after great mathematicians by taking their surnames. So scary! and Santenami was against it, but Yuzuriha silenced them with a single word, "It's okay, isn't it?" I don't know if the princess of the math department is so cute.

Then the girls arrived. They were all cute as usual. I can't tell you how cute they were, but they were cute enough that if Santenami and the girls became a couple and skipped class to have sex during the day like college students, I would probably get very angry. What a super jackpot this blind date is....

"Okay, let me introduce you. From the right, she's Yuri."

She's cute with long black hair and looks so neat and clean. Her eyes met Taro's and she smiled a little shyly.

"In the middle is Kaede."

Light shoulder length brown hair, cute in a devilish sort of way. She made eye contact with Jiro and put her hand over her mouth and smiled.

"The one on the left is Tsubaki!"

She is cute with blonde hair tied up a little on the side. Her eyes met Saburo's and she smiled cheerfully.

"Let's see, ours are, from right to left, Fermat, Cauchy, and Kepler. Please be good friends with them. Nice to meet you today!"

The girls are beaming. The mood is good. The boys are smiling, well, loosely. Or rather, they seem agitated. But I think this is acceptable enough. I'd rather they cherish the thrill and embarrassment of meeting a girl like that.

"Well then, the morning session is about to begin!"

Kirin-san takes me to the elevator. I ask her what's going on. Our idiots and the girls over there were talking about something, albeit awkwardly.

"It's a good start, isn't it?"

Kirin-san whispers in my ear with her hand on my shoulder. What a sexy thing to say. Ecchi! Thrilled! Horny! I was so horny! It's like it tickles a man's, or rather, a male's heart.

"Yes, it does. It's just that my guys aren't used to girls."

"But our girls are the same way. There are no boys around at all."

"We're the organizer, so if you could tell me where your campus and where you work, that would be great. Kukuku."

Kirin-san presses my cheek with her nail.

"No, no, no. If you know where I came from, you'll know who I am. So don't."

I know nothing about this woman's real name or where she works. Kirin-san wouldn't talk about it either. She also doesn't know Kekai-senpai either. How can you have sex with someone you don't know? Being riajuu is scary.

"Like a girl shines with secrets?"

"Fufu. I guess so. It's good to have lots of cute secrets, isn't it?"

We arrived at the floor we wanted to go to while talking about nothing else. Then we were brought to an event hall. There were tables laid out with food, pots and pans, cutting boards, knives, and an electric stove.

"The Minato style! Joint party jutsu! The first technique! Exciting cooking class! Come on guys! Enjoy your meal! Yay!"

Kirin-said said excitedly. What on earth is the intention behind this event? Could a cooking class be a part of a blind date? I could not hide my confusion at Kirin-san's unfathomable scheming.