Volume 1 - CH 4

Once the cultural festival had been reinstalled as it was supposed to be, the flames of the conflict began to subside. The main reason for this outburst was the misappropriation of the extracurricular activity fees, not the discrimination within the school itself. Now that everything’s back to normal, they must all be satisfied. And once the students relaxed, the teachers were all exhausted but equally relieved. Time passed, and the next event after their declaration of the school’s defeat was the end-of-term exams.

I decided to ignore all my thoughts and feelings to cram the whole night and barely avoided any failing grades. If I had to waste my time with supplementary classes and retake exams, I wouldn’t have as much time for the rest. I didn’t study a lot just to get good grades and feel better about myself (I swear). Once the exam period of three days ended, the atmosphere at the school took a complete 180. The reason for this was because the pressure of exams was finally erased from it…But also, it meant that preparations for the cultural festival were now going at full steam. Every year during this period, the students of Saigou High dreamed of experiencing a proper youth for once. And closely related to that was the approaching summer break. At this school that prohibited dating, the students couldn’t help but hold hope. That maybe something might be different from last year.

“Hey, do you have any masking tape?”

“Sure do. Also, isn’t there anything else to do?”

Classes ended, and whereas usually, only the dead remained in the classroom, the air was now filled with vitality. Desks and stairs were placed in the corners of the room, and blue sheets covered the floor. A large cloth laid in the center, with several people crawling on the floor beside it. As for what they were doing…they worked on a banner. After doing a majority vote in class, it was decided that our class would create a large banner to be put up on the school. Doing stalls wasn’t everything that mattered for cultural festivals. Because like this, we could get all our work done and then enjoy the festival without having to worry about shifts and duties. And I firmly believe this is one way of enjoying the festival. Personally, I was all on board for this. I’m bad at dealing with customers and cooking, and I can already feel that doing shifts would completely backfire, so not doing a stall is exactly what I prefer.

“Are you guys done with the draft over there?”

“Just a bit longer! I gotta focus, so hang on.”

My classmates were gleefully working. During the festival preparation, you didn’t have to stay longer even if you had any homework left to hand in, as taking away important manpower could lead to problems during the festival preparation. They were freed from pressure, allowed to have as much fun as they wanted—Who could blame them for being excited?

“Oh, crap! I think I messed up!”

“Seriously?! Get your stuff together! We’re the ones who have to color it!”

The girls gave orders with the boys following them. And then there was a third group who had finished most of its work, now laughing and fooling around. Several colonies were born, as an odd sense of cooperation was filling the classroom. It’s like we were all working to move a single boat. Some were going all out, whereas others were slacking. And even so, progress was made. What a great example, truly…or so I said, as I stood in the corner of the classroom. All of that was just me thinking to myself.

“…”

What should I do now? I’ve been watching my classmates, but let me focus on myself. After the homeroom ended, I left my seat. Ever since then, I simply stood in the corner of the room, like a stick that was left to rot. I’m just trying not to get in the way. I was like a potted plant. In our class, a group of girls took the front and started working on the banner. Thanks to that, now that preparations had gone ahead to the serious stage, those girls had split up the class.

If you wanted to get any work, you had to call out to them. But even if I asked for any right now, they’d just look at me like “What’s his deal?” Even if I wanted to help, they wouldn’t let me. Seriously, what’s going on here? I really wanna die, so can I just go home? Some people headed off to the club, and we still had close to 30 people staying behind. We’ve got more than enough people helping out. Nobody would realize it even if I left.

I went to grab my bag from my desk and then planned to quickly retire from this place. While making sure I wouldn’t bump into my classmates, I carefully headed out. But right as I opened the door to escape, misfortune struck.

“Eeep! Ah, Natsume-kun? You surprised me.”

“S-Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be there.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tanaka-san faintly smiled.

I’m glad I happened to bump into her. If it was any other classmate, things would’ve ended up messy.

“I’m sorry for not looking properly, too. I just got back from buying some things.” She raised the vinyl bag she carried.

“Oh, I see. Erm…you were responsible for buying some stuff, huh? Thanks.”

“No problem. But it’s so outside, it’s rough on me…Oh?” She raised a somewhat bewildered voice like she had realized something.

Her gaze was glued to my right hand.

“That bag…You’re gonna head home already?”

“Ah, yeah…I feel like I’m just in the way even if I stayed here.”

“I don’t think you’re in the way or anything…” Tanaka-san said and looked inside the room, mumbling to herself.

She must have realized what I was talking about.

“See. The people working on the floor are all over the place, I’ve got no room otherwise.”

“That’s true…” She nodded, showing sympathy finally.

She probably didn’t know what the room looked like after she left. But with her being satisfied, I should really head home…However, her next words left me standing in my tracks.

“Then, let’s get some work done in the hallway?”

…Huh? Say what? Work done…? Like, together? I stood frozen, not sure what to even respond when Tanaka-san tilted her head in confusion.

“What’s wrong? Ah, do you have to be somewhere, and that’s why you have to go home?”

“Ah, no…that’s not the case. Just…are you sure?”

“Huh? About what? Of course, we’re classmates.”

Sure about me working with them. Sure about staying with me. Sure about not spending time with her friends instead. My “Are you sure?” encompassed a lot of different feelings, but she just bluntly responded as if none of that mattered. She really is a kind person.

“Um…What’s wrong? Being stared at like this…is a bit embarrassing…”

I gave her a look of overflowing respect, but she quickly averted her gaze. Now I just feel bad.

“Got it. Then I’ll take you up on that. If there’s anything I can help with, let me know.”

I hesitated for a moment but decided to accept her invitation. I just planned on heading home since I had nothing better to do, but I’m not against the idea of helping.

“Okay. Well, it’s nothing major, so just come over here.”

I placed my bag back at my desk and then followed Tanaka-san out of the classroom. The hallway was overloaded with people, as the space in their classrooms seemingly wasn’t enough to fit everyone. Students were sitting on the floor drawing, moving cardboard boxes…It was an odd sight.

“Let’s move to the corner,” Tanaka-san said and headed to the back of the hallway.

It was quite the distance from class 2-5’s classroom, but nobody was around that we could bother. She then said “Wait a second,” and headed to the girl’s toilet. Didn’t seem like she needed to visit the toilet, and as expected, she came back with a plastic cup.

“Sorry for the wait. Let’s go.”

“What should I do?”

“For starters, we should get out all the tools on a paper plate.” She handed me the vinyl bag she had been carrying this time.

Looking inside, I saw drawing tools that had “acryl” written on it, together with paper plates shaped like bowls. And there’s also a good number of brushes.

“I think the guys in the classroom are going to start coloring soon, so I wanted to have everything ready. Could you put color on each individual plate? I’m going to add some water.”

“Huh? Right here? Ah…you wanna use the plates as palettes, right?”

“Exactly. Helps that you’re quick on the uptake!

Basically, we’re gonna prepare a bit of color for every plate. Good, even I should be able to handle that without running the risk of annoying everyone like it happened with Kurumi.

“Let’s get started! And don’t hold back with the color, okay?”

We leaned against the wall, beginning our work. I put color on the paper plate, handing it over to Tanaka-san. She accepted this, adding a small amount of water from the cup. The palette of colors then was passed on to the girls. Rinse and repeat that, as we just continue moving our hands.

“Huh? Yumi, you were out here? Let’s paint together!”

Midway, one of the girls who came outside said these words, but Tanaka-san stayed with me.

“It’s fine. We’ve got enough people working on it, and I just went out shopping. Here, take this with you.”

Judging from the conversation, Tanaka-san was part of the girls group that handled the preparations. That makes sense why she let me help with the work.

“Natsume-kun, could you add a bit more blue to that palette?”

“Gotcha. I gotta open up a new pack, though.”

I quickly did as I was told and handed Tanaka-san the paper palette. Working like this makes me feel like I’m part of the class. Though more accurately, it’s like I’m working for her part-time. But even so, we continued moving our hands. Each time I emptied a bit of paint, it felt like I colored the air around me with a distinct palette of youth.

“…Mmmm…Hmmm…”

In the midst of that, I heard Tanaka-san humming a peaceful melody.

“Tanaka-san, what’s that song called?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s a famous classical song. Sorry, was it too annoying?”

“Not at all. I just thought the melody sounded wonderful.”

“Haha. Oh, please. You’re embarrassing me.” Tanaka-san fanned some air at her face and snickered. “I just like all this preparatory work when it comes to the cultural festival. When everyone’s excited, working on their projects, it makes me feel happy, too.”

“…I see. That makes sense.”

How do I respond to that? Should I be happy? Or should I feel apologetic? I struggled to find an answer, so I asked her another somewhat related question.

“Are you also looking forward to the cultural festival?”

“Well…I guess…a bit?”

That vague response only left me more bewildered. I mean, if she said “Super am!” then I wouldn’t have known how to respond, either. Because it meant I would end up hurting her, too.

“But, at least more than last year. Considering we were temporarily prohibited from participating.”

“Ahh, you only realized how much you appreciate it after it is gone?”

“That’s right! And because of that, I’m actually somewhat excited about the festival this year,” she said and narrowed her eyes, gazing down the hallway.

Her smile felt oddly fragile, so much so that a single touch could make it break apart.

“Ah, I know.” Suddenly, she turned to face me. “Talking like this reminded me, but I think we need some more materials, so I thought of going out shopping again. Would you mind joining me, Natsume-kun?”

“Huh? Me?”

Since she asked without any proper preparation, I was thrown off even more than before. To be perfectly clear, I didn’t help at all during my first year when it came to preparing for the cultural festival. Being invited to help with a shopping trip like this was something completely new. I couldn’t properly form the words.

“Ah, um, when do you plan on going shopping?”

“Tomorrow after school, I guess. Preferably right after homeroom is over. What do you think?”

In my head, I checked the schedule. I don’t think Kurumi and I will be having a strategy meeting tomorrow. Thus, it all depends on me. And since I had no reason to decline…

“Got it. I’ll tag along.”

“Really? That’d be a huge help. I think it’ll be a lot to carry, so I was hoping I could have a boy help me.”

Then I’ll gladly offer my help. I do have to repay her after all…Well, it’s not as much as that, but she’s looking after me. A bit more time passed after this conversation, until we eventually reached the end of our work.

“Yumi? We’ve got palettes for everyone, so no need to make any more!”

A voice came from the classroom, so we stopped our hands.

“Guess we’re done. Thanks a lot, Natsume-kun.”

“No worries. Glad I could help.”

“Let’s get to cleaning up.”

Looking around, I saw lots of empty tubes. Did we use up this many? I had no idea. I guess we were just focusing that much. I gathered all the empty tubes or used paper plates and put them inside the vinyl bag. In the meantime, Tanaka-san threw away the water in the cup and washed the brushes. Since we didn’t create too much of a mess, we were done fairly quickly.

“Oh, we ran out of stuff to do. Hm, what else…” Tanaka-san said and looked at her wrist.

She had a faintly brownish-colored wrist watch around it. I checked out my phone, too, telling me that it was a bit past 6 pm.

“Weird time to end it…Maybe we can help with something?”

“Actually, I have to prepare dinner, so I really should head home now.”

I interrupted her before she could suggest something else. I can’t have her look after me this much. She blinked at me two to three times and then gently smiled.

“You’re cooking dinner every day? That’s amazing.”

“Well, it’s nothing major or anything.”

In fact, I usually go with takeout or ordering food, so there’s nothing that I could be bragging about. That being said, I need a reason to head home now, so I’ll keep quiet about that.

“And I’m only doing the share for myself. Family’s rarely home, after all.”

“Even so, that’ll leave you busy. But, I get it. You should head home.”

“Sorry I can’t help much. But I’ll come with you tomorrow. That’s a promise.”

“Got it. I’m counting on you.” She faintly waved her hand at me and saw me off as I entered the classroom.

All that’s left for me is to grab my bag. Opening the door, the classmates inside the room were energetically talking with each other. For that reason, nobody glanced at me when I entered. What a relief, really. As for the banner, it seems like our classmates were making good progress. One of them was already done, probably thanks to all the hard-working students. Horizontally on the banner, it read “Saigou Festival” with large writing, the students using the paper palettes we made to paint the letters. I wonder how many of them even knew I prepared these palettes. Even though I knew that thought amounted to nothing, I still found myself thinking about it.

*

After I grabbed my bag, I quickly left the room. Turning the corner in the hallway, I went down the stairs. On the first floor, the members of the festival executive committee were present doing their work. I headed to the shoe lockers, surprised to find no teacher waiting. Really seems like we’re allowed to go home. I grabbed my shoes and headed to the entrance, intending to leave the building all by myself when someone suddenly tabbed me on the shoulder when I passed the cafeteria.

“Yo, if it isn’t Natsume.”

The one who called out to me was the soccer club’s president.

“Ah…It’s been a while, Iwata-senpai.”

“Haha, has it been a while? We barely met a week ago.” He laughed without worry.

But that only made it more awkward for me. I tried to smile back but failed to do so.

“Are you on your way home right now?”

“Yes. I assume the same goes for you?”

“Nah, I just got back from the club. Now I’m heading to my classroom.”

Now that he mentioned it, he was wearing his jersey, but he didn’t have his sports bag hanging down his shoulder.

“Since we actually get to participate in the cultural festival, I should show up at my class to help a bit. That’s why I stopped practice a bit earlier today.”

“I bet you must be having a lot on your plate.”

“That’s right. And because our advisor keeps saying ‘If you’re not motivated enough, then quit and get back to studying,’ so we can’t just take time off, either,” he said and grumbled with a sigh.

Since I’m not part of any club, I can’t really contribute to the conversation there. I just thought of leaving it off with a simple “Good luck” and going my merry way, but…He suddenly clapped his hands together like he remembered something.

“Oh, right. Our class is having a BBQ for our festival stall.”

“Oh, really? That’s quite extraordinary.”

“Well, we planned to do the BBQ for the get-together after all, so we couldn’t shake it off. And when I suggested it earlier, everyone agreed. Though, it’ll just be yakitori and other stuff.”

So he said, but he seemed to enjoy the idea. I could tell to see the happiness oozing out of his expression.

“And that’s why I wanna help as much as possible with my class.”

“That makes sense. And you said you were looking forward to checking the ingredients and menu. I’m glad it came through, albeit in a different way.”

Those were my genuine feelings. Because I had done nothing but deceive him up to this point, I genuinely wished for his dream to come true. The soccer club president faintly scratched his nose and smirked.

“Come visit on the day of the festival, yeah? I’ll treat you to something.”

“Now that sounds exciting. I’ll definitely stop by.”

“I’ll be waiting. But I gotta get to my class now. Catch you later.” The president gave me a thumbs-up and turned around.

This time, our conversation was done for good. Still, a stall, huh? I did say I would stop by, but can I uphold that promise? That was all I could think about while looking at the president.

*

The following day after classes had ended, I left my belongings in the classroom and headed outside the school with Tanaka-san. We walked past the executive committee members, through the front gate, and left for the store. I don’t know if it was built this way to allow growth, but Saigou High stood at a location somewhat hard to reach. The path to school, the main street, had the residential district next to it, with a river and fields further in the distance. No stores stood around here on this street, which made the sky look so much bigger. Dark clouds passed through the sky here and there. Just this morning, the weather report said we’d made it through the rainy season, but I don’t see that at all.

“Tanaka-san, where are we heading anyway? I doubt they’re selling paint like that at a general store.”

“Exactly…That’s why we’ll have to take a longer trip. But it should be fine with our commuter pass.”

Tanaka-san and I walked down the street next to each other with a few people scattered here and there. We then entered the nearest train station, passed the ticket gate, and headed to the platform. With perfect timing, a train arrived, but thankfully the A/C was running inside. We sat down on two open seats next to each other and then continued to be shaken left and right for about ten minutes. After we talked about this and that, Tanaka-san said to get off. It was the same terminal I used to change trains on the way home. We passed through the tight ticket gate and left through the West exit. Immediately after, we were surrounded by shops, buildings, and a pedestrian bridge. Coming this far, I somewhat guessed where we were heading.

“Are we heading to the tool store in the mall?”

“Yup. That’s exactly it. I’m surprised you know.”

I figured. I remembered this route, so I had a hunch it’d be that place. It’s the exact same store I went to with Kurumi when we did our eraser stamps.

“Do you sometimes come here to shop, too? Ah, maybe you enjoy drawing as a hobby?”

“Not really. I just happened to pass by here, so I remembered.”

“So you do come to the mall from time to time? That’s surprising.”

Of course, I was just making up excuses, because I remember this place for a completely different reason, and I rarely come to the mall, too. I’m just lying about everything. I decided to just keep quiet in case I blurted out something unnecessary. We walked across several pedestrian crossings until we reached the mall in question. It was as I remembered it, a glass building consisting of seven floors.

“Doesn’t seem to be too crowded right now, so let’s get everything we need.”

The automatic door opened and allowed us inside. We didn’t give the other shops a sideways glance as we directly headed to the elevator. We got off on the 6th floor, heading to the large tool store to the right. The inside was filled with shelves everywhere, making it feel like I was walking through a labyrinth. After grabbing a shopping basket, we entered deeper inside.

“So, what are we buying today?”

“The girls handling the painting said they wanted a bigger brush.”

“A brush, huh? This being the drawing paper corner, we should probably check over there.”

“Though, we also need some more colors. I got everything written on a memo, so if you could—” She stuffed one hand in her pocket, only to stop in her tracks.

“What’s wrong? I can buy the stuff if you give me the memo.”

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just walk around together.” She smiled and put the memo away.

I don’t think she said this because she didn’t trust me…But then, what’s the big deal? I can get everything.

“They have the brushes over there, right? Let’s go.” Tanaka-san took the lead as we made our way through the shop.

It’s like we’re a 2-person party of a classic RPG. As we passed by the shelves, we placed the goods we needed in the basket. We struggled to find the right brush toward the end, but it was still fun nonetheless.

“Hey, Tanaka-san. For the painting brush, could we use that?”

“Hahaha, that one’s a bit too thick, don’t you think?”

“For real? Sorry, I had no idea.”

Out shopping while laughing with a classmate…It wasn’t anything ordinary, but I had fun either way.

“Natsume-kun, could you grab that tape up there? The thick one.”

“This? Got it. Anything else?”

“Well…We have the brush, as well as the blue color…I think we’re done.”

After around thirty minutes, we had everything we needed.

“Excuse me, we’d like to pay,” Tanaka-san called out to the employee at the cash register.

Luckily, it was a different person from before. Once we finished the payment, we stepped out from the labyrinth of shelves.

“Sorry to have you do all the carrying, Natsume-kun.”

“It’s fine. That’s why I tagged along.” I raised the vinyl bag to show I was fine.

That reminds me, she also managed to pack everything she bought into a single bag, too, so it’s not heavy.

“Then let’s go back to school.”

With Tanaka-san by my side, we headed back the way we came. Into the elevator, past the other stores, through the automatic door, and back into the hot world outside. Tall buildings stood everywhere, seeing us off as we walked to the train station. Then, Tanaka-san suddenly asked me a weird question.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, but what were you like last year?”

“What was I like…? I mean, it’s barely been a month, so I probably haven’t changed much?”

“Well…Friends, and all that.”

When she said that word, I guessed her intent. She’s concerned with the fact that our other classmates tend to ignore me. And she wants to know if this has been the case last year, too, or if it only started now.

“In my first year, all I did was study. Didn’t have any friends.”

“I knew you were clever, after all.”

“…Not really. My grades weren’t good at all, so I studied a lot in order to get into the higher-ranking classes,” I answered in honesty.

She looked at me with a bit of surprise.

“Are you still trying?”

“Not right now. I wouldn’t work that hard.”

“Hmm, I see.”

She made a gesture like she was thinking about something and after a brief silence, she said something surprising.

“There’s the boys who are putting up the masking tape in the classroom, right?”

“Huh? Ah, you mean in preparation for the cultural festival? Yeah, what about them?”

“Why not call out to them? I think they’ve got the wrong idea about you.”

Is she thinking they would let me join their group? Wrong idea, huh? I wonder…Ever since I complained to the teachers, they stopped insulting me, but that didn’t mean everything was dandy. Surely, since I’ve been running away since, my classmates probably think I’ve done something behind their backs…but what should I even tell them? I was thinking about it, until Tanaka-san continued with a sigh.

“Right…Okay, I get it. If you want, I can—”

“Ah.”

A brief voice interrupted Tanaka-san’s sentence. Looking into the direction where it came from, I almost groaned—It’s Kurumi. She looked at us in her regular black-hair mode. What a coincidence—and honestly, bad timing. If we were to interact now, it would ruin all the effort I went through of hiding our relationship. I didn’t like it, but my best bet was to ignore her. I decided to mix in with the crowd in order to avoid any confrontation—But, I couldn’t even execute my plan.

“O-Oh, Senpai, what a coincidence to run into you here.”

Before I could walk past her, she called out to me. Hey now, what are you thinking? This is the moment when we should be ignoring each other. Or did she feel so embarrassed she had to start some kind of conversation after that previous “Ah?” But now that she initiated a conversation, it’d be even worse if I ignored her. Fine then, I guess I have to play along. I turned around and thought of a response, but I quickly realized that Kurumi wasn’t even looking at me.

“What brings you here today, Tanaka-senpai? Shopping?”

“…Yes. For the cultural festival.”

“Is that so, is that so. That’s good to hear!” Kurumi spoke with a friendly tone and continued. “You’re in class 5, right? Are you doing some kind of stall?”

“Actually, we’re helping decorate the school,” Tanaka-san responded with a similar tone of voice.

What is this? Are they talking without me being involved?

“Ah, there’s Natsume-senpai, too. Hello!”

When she suddenly called out my name, I was forcefully dragged back to reality. Mentally calming myself down, I realized that those two apparently knew each other.

“What brings you here, Hoshimiya-san? I don’t think your house was this way?”

“Ah…I was out shopping for the festival, too. Some people in my class asked me.”

“I see, I see. What is your class doing?”

“A labyrinth. We’re going to create a maze using desks, boxes, and all that,” she said and hid the vinyl bag she carried behind her bag.

She might have managed to deceive Tanaka-san with that, but I looked inside the bag for a brief moment. It had a logo from an electronics store on it, filled with cylinder-shaped objects. Probably some empty CDs. The type you use to burn your own music CDs and so on. Of course, I could quickly guess just what she was going to use that for—Terrorism. They’re meant to be empty CDs on which we can put the abuse of the teachers. She probably wants to pretend they are music CDs to play during the festival.

“…Kurumi.”

“…”

I called out to her, but she averted her gaze. I just assumed she was thinking the same as me and urged me to feign ignorance, but I wasn’t sure. She directed a smile at us and then spoke up with an awfully forced voice.

“Anyway, I shouldn’t be bothering you any longer than this! I’ll be heading back to school now!”

“No problem. Sorry to keep you here. See you around, Hoshimiya-san.”

“Yes! If you can make the time, please come visit our class during the festival!” She walked toward me.

While walking past me, our eyes met for a brief moment. She had her eyes lowered, her gaze filled with sadness and grief. Like a small child who had lost the sweets store she always visited. First, she’s looking away, and now she’s acting sad, I don’t get it.

“I think we should go, too.”

“Ah, right.”

Tanaka-san started walking in the direction of the train station, so I followed her a step later.

“Hey, Natsume-kun? What do you say we grab some crepe to eat? I’ll treat you.”

“…Ah, crepe? Yeah, sounds good.”

While responding to Tanaka-san’s kind answer, I once again started thinking. Just now, Kurumi showed a completely different face from when she said we should destroy the festival. Showing that kind of face, what was she thinking?

“…”

I thought about it and reached a certain possibility. Maybe…Kurumi feels the same way I have been over the past few days. Ever since the day I thanked the club president, a doubt has been growing inside of me. I tried to keep it locked away all this time but now opened the lid to take a glance inside. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, but she had long disappeared within the crowd. But when I led my doubt to the West sun, it felt like my shadow overlapped with Kurumi’s.

“Natsume-kun?”

What are we…No, what am I even doing? Giving our beings in to revenge, causing terrorism, and changing the school. I get that. But, something doesn’t sit right with me. Do I really understand the compensation necessary to pull off this time’s terrorism?

*

That day, I decided to leave the classroom much faster so that Tanaka-san could not call out to me. I moved my seat to the black of the classroom, mixed in with the other students who headed off to their club, and stepped out of the room. Luckily, Tanaka-san didn’t spot me as she was busy talking with her friends. Once I got out into the hallway, the other classes had already started preparing for the cultural festival. They were smiling, as if this work was their one and only joy. Reaching the third floor, I headed over to the second school building, choosing the path that had no other students around.

Here at Saigou High, the individual clubs aren’t allowed to prepare something for the cultural festival, presumably so that everyone could focus on their own classes. Thanks to that, the old club building was even more quiet than usual. I walked down the dimly lit hallway and made my way to the room in the back. The nameplate read the same as always—Astronomy Club. I opened the door and headed inside…with the door feeling heavier than usual.

“…Ah, Senpai. Hello there.”

Inside, Kurumi was seated on her chair, currently in Revenge Mode. She raised her head and showed a light bow when she saw me.

“Hee hee, so you actually came. That’s a relief.”

“The hell? I’ve come here every single time we agreed on.”

“But your face sure looks like you’d have no issue breaking a promise with a girl.”

“I wouldn’t do that. Is that how you think of me, Kurumi?”

“Well, well…I wonder, I wonder.” Kurumi showed another devious smirk, snickering to herself.

Met with that, I could only shake my head. We’re starting to sound like childhood friends. However, this conversation didn’t continue long, as I sat down to face her.

“…Let’s start the strategy meeting, then.”

“…Sounds good.”

Kurumi went through the bag at her feet. She took out her familiar Revenge Note, as well as a laptop. On top of that, 20 empty CDs. For today, we decided to use our free time to burn the abusive recordings and such on the CDs. For that reason, Kurumi prepared them. Meanwhile, I took out my smartphone and a USB cable from my phone.

“Oh yeah, Senpai, I bought some empty CDs.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“A-Ahaha…Right…We did meet, after all.”

Kurumi showed a somewhat forced smile. Oh yeah, that reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask.

“Also…you and Tanaka-san know each other?”

“…Ah, well, yes. Something like that.”

Couldn’t be any more vague with that. And I don’t like the tone of that. Kurumi removed the wrapping of the CD ROMs and then glanced at me.

“Um…Senpai, did Tanaka-senpai tell you anything?”

“About you? No, not at all. I didn’t ask either, since I went home quickly after that.”

“Is that so? That’s good…Please keep it at that, then.” She looked away.

The mystery continues to deepen. But she did say to not probe any deeper, so I decided to leave it at that. And considering it could be one of the reasons she decided to drop out of school, even more so.

“Anyway, let’s get to work,” Kurumi said and turned on her laptop, so I began with my own preparations.

I placed the thicker end of the cable into the laptop, connecting the narrower part to the lower end of my smartphone. After a moment passed, a message appeared on my phone screen that read “Would you like to trust this device?”, so I pressed Yes and placed it down on the table.

“And how are we going to turn these into CDs?”

“First, we copy all the data from your phone onto the laptop. Then we’re going to use free software to slightly edit the recordings, and then burn them onto the CDs.”

“So you don’t just directly put everything onto it, huh? I’m surprised you know that.”

“Well, I studied up on it a bit yesterday.”

Even so, that’s just amazing. She really excels at anything. And even as I was busy not voicing my admiration, she continued to work on the laptop.

“…This should do it. Thanks for all the files. I finished downloading them.”

“Can I pull out the cable?”

“Yes, it should be fine. From now on, I have to work on the voice lines we’re going to burn on the CD. I’m going to play a few, so let’s listen to them together,” she showed a serious expression as she began typing on her laptop.

Shortly after, I heard a bit of white noise. I moved closer so that I could listen properly…But I quickly regretted that. The male voice that came from the speaker almost made me go deaf.

‘Do you want to be killed, you worthless bastard?!’

That’s where the voice stopped. Kurumi had a disgusted look on her face, and I guess she prematurely stopped the recording.

“…Geez, that was awful. Are you okay, Senpai?”

“Might go deaf tomorrow, but for now, I think I’m fine.”

“That was a bit too loud. Let me lower the volume.”

Kurumi once again did something on the laptop and then replayed the recording except with less white noise.

‘Do you want to be killed, you worthless bastard?!’

‘…I’m sorry.’

‘Why can’t you solve this simple problem? I taught you just yesterday. You really don’t get it? Why are you even attending school? You’d be better off dead.’

Better off dead…huh? Now that’s a good hit. I can already see the scenery. I think that’s from math class. The classmate called to the blackboard to solve a question, yet unable to do so, got aggressively screamed at by the teacher. That was toward the end of April.

‘So worthless. You’re causing trouble for your entire class.’

‘…Yes. I’m sorry.’

‘If you’re not motivated enough, then go home. I don’t need some useless nobody like you in my class.’

“Hm? Senpai, there’s some weird rustling sound here. What’s this about?”

“Ah, that…is the sound of the teacher throwing the homework he collected to the ground.”

“Oh…that is…gross.” Kurumi looked genuinely repulsed by that.

Then again, I probably had the same face right about now. And after a bit more abuse, the recording stopped.

“Ah, this is all for the period, it seems.”

“Yeah. The teacher left the room, so we had to go and apologize to him.”

“There it is…Boycotting work. It’s such a template move.”

That it is. You hear about it all the time. Each time I witness something like this, it makes me realize that this school evidently encourages this kind of abuse. Normally, a school would be a place to learn new things. How inefficient is it to get angry at the students for wanting to learn more? You’re a teacher, so do your job.

“For starters, I’ll edit the recording a bit.” Kurumi’s eyes focused on the laptop again. “I don’t think I can hijack the broadcasting room for too long. So we need something that will leave an impression but is conveniently short. So the biggest abuse at the beginning of the CD is the best.”

“If so, using the beginning of this recording might be good, right?”

“Yes. I’ll go ahead and cut out the noise in the background.”

So it’ll just be the ‘Do you want to be killed, you worthless bastard?!’ from the beginning. Yeah, that sounds effective. Even though it’s a lot quieter than before, just the line alone really hits it home.

“And we could consider keeping the student’s voice or not.”

“Hm, I don’t know. I feel like keeping it in would show that this is much more common than it might originally seem?”

“Let me play the part again.”

‘So worthless. You’re causing trouble for your entire class.’

‘…Yes. I’m sorry.’

‘If you’re not motivated enough, then go home. I don’t need some useless nobody like you in my class.’

The recording stopped again as a faint silence fell between us.

“I know I’m the one who recorded it, but listening to this is creeping me out.”

“You just have to feel bad for the student. And worried, too.”

I could tell that my expression was as stiff as Kurumi’s. This resembles the time we worked on the eraser stamps. But, nearly not as good. She said it’s because I’m seeing myself as the person in that recording. However, it feels somewhat different. The reason I feel like I’m not liking this one bit is that I realized this recording could become a strong attack against the teachers.

Listening to this recording, I once again realized that the teachers at Saigou High are throwing around some incredible insults. Talking about killing, wishing death upon people, they are just giving in to their emotions. If we were to play this at the festival, it would definitely cause a huge issue. There’s even the chance that people might lose their jobs. For example, everything we’ve done so far is like spraying water at each other, but this right here is like a loaded gun. I’m not just making fun of people, I’m pointing my hostility at them. And before I felt happy or excited, I realized the gravity of it all.

“Kurumi…wouldn’t you feel bad if we added the student’s voice in there? Let’s just keep it to the teachers’ insults.”

“…That’s true. Then I’ll keep adding more after this.”

Kurumi cut out the student’s voice and continued the editing. She’s very skilled at it. But even so, it almost felt like she was rushing through it.

“Hm, this should do it. The quality is fine, too.”

“How long is the whole thing?”

“Around 15 minutes. We’ll get stopped pretty quickly anyway, so I figured this should be enough.”

Yeah, sounds good. And still, it’s a lot longer than I initially thought.

“With that done, let’s start burning the CDs. Could you grab one for me?”

“Got it.”

I opened up the round case and took out a single CD, handing it to Kurumi. She placed it onto the disk tray and closed it again.

“And there we go. The in-built software should now allow us to burn the CD…” She tapped on the keyboard again, pushing her face closer to the screen.

After a while, I could hear a sound like a running motor. It seems like the burning process started. And it reminded me like a gun getting loaded with bullets.

“…Yes, it seems like it’s working. I think it will take a bit longer until it’s done.”

“Right. So what do we do now?”

“We might as well discuss our plans for the day while we wait.” Kurumi moved the laptop to the side and took out her Revenge Note.

She flipped through the pages, placing it open on the desk. It’s a white page as I’ve seen before.

“Hijacking the broadcasting room should be easy enough. We can just tell them that the teachers are calling for them to get free reign in the room. That should buy us enough time to play the CD.”

“…Yeah.”

“The problem is what happens after. How do we escape? It won’t take long before a teacher comes to check. Leaving aside the part about hiding our identity, how do we get away safely?”

“…”

I didn’t answer her question and just listened to the motor-like sound. For some reason, this entire time felt more or less pointless. I don’t even have any energy to think right now. Maybe Kurumi’s just gonna bring up something herself? So I wished but after working together for more than a year, I guess she can see right through me.

“Senpai, are you listening to me?”

“…I am. How do we get away safely, right?”

Kurumi glared at me. I guess she wouldn’t let me stay silent. Can’t help it, I’ll just give a random response instead.

“We’ve still got time until the day, so I’ll think of something.”

“…Is that so?”

Kurumi seemed to have given up, fixing her posture on the chair and sighed. Another silence ensued, paired with a heavy atmosphere.

“…Now we ran out of things to talk about.”

“…Yeah.”

I looked outside the window, seeing that the sun had begun to set. And with everything being quiet around us, I unwillingly focused on the surrounding noise. The sounds that came from outside the window. The voices of the sports club, the sounds of the music clubs practicing, the distant voices discussing something. They must belong to the people enjoying the festival preparations. Meanwhile, I was forced to listen to the disk drive working in an isolated room. It’s like we were in a different world.

“…Senpai.”

“What’s up?”

I looked back at Kurumi, who had her head hanging low. The cap hid her face, making it impossible for me to guess her expression.

“Could you…kiss me?”

This request came out of nowhere, and her voice was quivering all the while.

“Where did that come from? Our plan is working out just fine, right?”

“…Just, please.”

Thinking about it, this is the first time Kurumi actually asked for a kiss. Whenever we kissed, it was because the atmosphere matched, or because she one-sidedly approached me. Sometimes we both just decided we wanted to do it. But…somehow, it feels like she’s asking for something else, pretending to call it a kiss.

“Will you not…kiss me anymore?”

“…I never said that.”

I hesitated a few seconds but decided to kiss her. But, I felt no lust or anything of that sort. What mostly urged me to do this—was the obligation. And I felt guilty. I got up from my chair and leaned over the table.

“Kurumi…”

I gently brushed up her hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. Lit up by the setting light, Kurumi’s cheek was revealed. There was no devious smile any longer. Her lips were tightly shut together, her eyes looking elsewhere. Emptiness. Void, Sadness. Her expression could be described by any of these words. All I could remember was the time we met while we were out shopping, as well as her saddened expression. The reason she makes this face…the reason she’s so shaken, it must be because she began to think the same as I was. But I didn’t want to look at her face, so I lifted up her chin and pressed my lips onto hers.

“Senpai…Mhm…”

The second I initiated the kiss, Kurumi changed completely and clung to me. She opened her mouth, pushing her lips into my mouth, mixing saliva and heat.

“Bleh…Senpai…Mhm…”

Her tongue moved like it had a mind of its own. It ran along my gums, as if she tried to mark me as hers. Our breathing intertwined, our foreheads bumping into each other. Her cap even lost against gravity and fell to the ground. I didn’t even have time to breathe. It was a sharp kiss to learn more about the other person. It wasn’t a kiss you would see depicted in a shoujo manga. It’s much more vile and licentious.

“Puah! Kurumi, I can’t breathe…”

“Mmhm…Shut up…Senpai…Just shut up…” She put more strength into the arms that were wrapped around me.

I decided to not fight Kurumi’s approaches.

“Phew…Mhm…Nnn…”

A wet sound filled the otherwise silent room. How long did I spend without being able to breathe properly? She’s being extremely aggressive today. Whenever I share such a kiss with her, it always leaves me breathless. And because I didn’t get enough oxygen, my brain wouldn’t work properly, and I started thinking about weird things. For example, can you call what we’re doing a deep kiss? Whenever we feel stressed out because of school, we wish to vent out frustration. For that reason, could you call this act really something so romantic? Is it really something so sweet? I feel like there’s a better, more fitting name. A special name only allowed to be used by Kurumi and me…For some reason, my head is full of weird thoughts today.

“Bleh…Phew! Senpai…Huff…huff…huff…”

“huff…Cough…Cough, cough!”

After she moved her lips away, both of us stood on wobbly knees until we collapsed back onto our chairs. Breathing for air, and throwing a coughing fit, we tried to get a rip on our breathing. That was probably the roughest kiss we’ve had so far. I genuinely thought I was gonna die…Did that satisfy her? I shook my head to clear my head and looked ahead. Kurumi’s face looked like she had just woken up, her hair in disarray.

“…I guess using a kiss isn’t enough to read your thoughts.”

So…What she wanted wasn’t a kiss, but rather an insight into what I was thinking? Kurumi stared at me, her mouth faintly opening.

“Senpai, what are you thinking?”

How am I even supposed to respond to that? It was too vague.

“…What a sweet but painful kiss this was. Like bitter chocolate.”

“You’re as gross as always…But, that’s not what I wanted to know.” She looked at me, gently shaking her head.

What came back was a warm and genuine smile.

“Isn’t there something you want to tell me?”

When I heard those words, it felt like my heart was being grabbed. What even…So she can actually guess what I am thinking after all? Understandably so, I guess. Because there is something I have to tell her. But, I didn’t mean to do so today, and not here. It’s that…I lost sight of what is correct or not. So I wanted to give her my conclusion once I found it. Then again, it might be better to come clean now. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, anyway. So, I opened the lid inside of me and took out the doubt I had, pulling it to the surface.

“…Say, Kurumi. Maybe we should stop this?” I looked at the laptop.

More accurately, the disk drive and the CD are burned inside of that. Kurumi traced after my gaze and placed her hand on the laptop.

“So…You’re saying we should stop our current plan of playing the teachers’ abuse across the school?”

“Yeah. I’ve started to think that it might be better if we quit now.”

“…”

No response, huh? I wanted to confirm what expression she had, so I looked directly at her. When we ran into each other the other day…When I saw her saddened expression, I assumed that maybe she felt the same way. That she harbored doubt toward destroying the cultural festival…But, I was wrong. She simply had dropped her eyes on the table.

“Why…Why would you say that…?” She asked, her voice weak. “Are you…done trying to get revenge?”

“That’s not what this is. I still hate this school.”

“Then…Why? Why would you suddenly say we should stop…?” She looked directly at me, her eyes narrowed in fear, as I could see tears building up in the corner of her eyes.

I can’t tell what she’s thinking. But, I knew this was bad. I was worried that this might give birth to a horrible misunderstanding. I have to tell her exactly why I thought of stopping this terrorism. For that, I slowly opened my mouth.

“Kurumi…I always thought the students here at this school were chasing some illusion of youth. Enjoy the cultural festival without worrying about anything, all so that it would feel like they actually experienced something worthwhile.”

“…”

“But, I was wrong. There are actually people who enjoy this hallucination.”

I was reminded of my conversation with Tanaka-san. As well as that smile the soccer club president showed me. They were the first real taste of the students here at this school.

“And today, I realized. The destructive power of that CD…it’s serious. The terrorism we’re about to do…Playing the abusive words and actions of the teachers, it’ll definitely cause an uproar. It’ll completely ruin the atmosphere of the cultural festival. But now that I’m here…I have doubts if it’s really okay to destroy the fun of the other students.”

Kurumi stayed silent still, so I saw no other option but to continue.

“Also, we’ve worked so hard to bring back the cultural festival for the lower-ranking classes. They’re all happy and excited for it, so should we really destroy it all again? Can we really hurt everyone?”

That’s it. I remember. We swore it that day on the rooftop.

“You’re going to quit school after we made sure that no more students like us would appear at this school, right? Because we brought back the cultural festival, we managed to help those in the same situation as us. Isn’t that…good enough?” I breathed in, adding a final “That’s what I think, at least.”

It was rough bringing all my words together, but I think I said everything I wanted. I just wish I could hear how Kurumi feels about this.

“…Kurumi?”

She had yet to say anything, so I looked over at her. She was quiet as before, but she showed a reaction—in the form of tears.

“Ugh…Hicc…”

I could tell at a glance. She was trying to swallow her emotions. Gritting her teeth, and biting down on her lip, she tried her hardest to keep her feelings under control. However, that’s all she could do. Her emotions got the better of her, as they showed themselves as tears ran down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop them, either. The tears falling from her eyes looked like sunstones as they were lit up by the setting sun. Falling onto the desk, they dispersed and scattered.

“Ugh…Ah…Hicc…”

I don’t understand the reason why she’s crying. I couldn’t find any error in what I said. I wasn’t cruel about it, either. There was no possible incentive that could cause these tears. Was she absorbed with our terrorism at the cultural festival? No, then she would get angry and object to my opinion. It’s not something to cry over. But then…what is it? Where did I go wrong? What mistake did I commit?

“…Why are you crying?”

I saw no other choice but to ask, to which Kurumi glared up at me.

“…So you don’t get it?” She spoke with a truly disappointed tone, wiping her tears.

That’s all she said. And then, silence followed. Her breathing was drowned out by the disk drive’s work. With a clicking sound, the drive opened to reveal the CD. Seems like the burning process was completed. I took out the disk and placed it on the table.

“…I think we should end our meeting for today.”

“…”

“Both of us are probably tired. Let’s discuss this again on another day.”

I got up from my seat, grabbed my bag, and left the room. While closing the door, I turned around. Kurumi was still sitting on her chair, using her hair to hide the fact that she was still crying. She was surrounded by her laptop, her Revenge Note, a pencil, the CD, and her cap. To me, she looked like a child who wouldn’t clean up their toys.

*

As the day of the cultural festival was drawing closer, Kurumi stopped coming to school. I even sent her several messages, but they were left unread. I asked Tanaka-san about Kurumi, but she just awkwardly changed the topic. Is it something hard to say? I thought about it, and then remembered what she told me the first time we met.

—Oh yeah, she’s gonna drop out of school. And right before summer break, too. I see, so this is goodbye, then. What an unsatisfying way to end things. So, the last thing she wanted to do was this terrorism, huh? And yet, I spoke out against it, so she started crying. Before I even realized my own actions, I already sent her an apology.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t understand your feelings. But even so, I don’t think I was wrong.’

As always, she didn’t read the message. Her status hasn’t changed, either. A smartphone can be so convenient yet so useless when it comes to exchanging answers.