CH 155

Akkard was literally horrified and stunned.

“Damia.”

He let go of the hand that was holding her arm, as if he had been burned.

She turned around and was crying. Damia Primula’s tears were familiar. She was especially pretty when she shed tears, and he would often make her cry on the bed.

But it was the first time he saw her cry like this.

Damia kept her eyes open, glaring desperately, as if she didn’t want to cry. However, once the embankment of emotions burst, it was impossible to repair.

Transparent tears flowed down her cheeks and trickled down her chin. Her face was contorted like a child who was in so much pain that she couldn’t help it. Her silent sobbing cut through his chest.

It was then that Akkard realized that the previous easygoing him that could afford to be moved by her tears and think “pretty” in a detached way had died and disappeared.

Now her tears were no longer pretty. They were daggers that stabbed him, causing great pain, and they were the sharp tips of swords that he could not stop.

Tears dripping down from her cheeks, just like hydrochloric acid, fell on his heart and caused burns.

He was worried, nervous that the woman in front of her would weep so much she would melt into her tears, but he was frightened that if he touched her he would hurt her again.

“Dami… … .”

Feeling helpless, Akkard called her in a tightly locked voice. Damia then hid her tear-soaked face as if she didn’t want to show it to him.

Behind those white, trembling hands, came a wet and bitter cry:

“Please, leave me alone!! Why are you doing this?”

The pain that Damia had been suppressing for a long time exploded.

“I know!! I know!! I know that I am not loved, and that I am treated as a toy with nothing to offer but my body!!”

So you didn’t have to say it. There was no need to brutally imprint that fact on me every time.

Beheld in her tear-soaked eyes, Akkard was so handsome that her cornea tingled. As if the situation wasn’t embarrassing enough, there was not a single point that was unattractive when his face stiffened as if this situation was bewildering, to his purple stare that watched her quietly.

But all she could receive from him was ugly and painful.

“I know— I know everything even if you don’t say it… … !! Why do you keep making me miserable!!!”

Her heart was about to burst with anger and sorrow. She shouted with all her might, as if her neck was ripped apart, but Akkard, who was one who knew how to strike back without pause, did not speak.

‘I guess I’m not even worth dealing with anymore.’

His face, discerned in her distorted view, hardened as if he were annoyed or burdened.

Perhaps to him, she was nothing more than an object of conquest, an object to wipe and throw away like a tissue when needed. If it wasn’t for that, how could he be so cruel to someone he slept with?

But, people had emotions, feelings and souls inside. Maybe she wasn’t that great, but she was a human-being with feelings that knew how to cry when she was hit and become sad when hurt.

Damia glared at him with sourly thoughtful eyes. And even in the midst of trembling, every word she uttered was heavy with feeling and spat out clearly:

“I hate you. I hate you so much I could die.”

… … Slashing agony. Her words tore his eardrums like shards of shattered glass and slashed his chest. It seemed as if blood was shed and gushing.

Akkard contorted his face at the excruciating pain he had experienced for the first time in his life. He gasped for his breath, and scraped his chest with his powerful fingers.

With a face that doesn’t know what to do, like a child who has been seriously injured for the first time.

Unfortunately, Damia was unable to see him as she had already turned around. She clenched her teeth and ran away from the terrible place with tears dripping down her face.

The royal palace, adorned with golden chandeliers, elegant candlesticks, and red drapes, was supremely spectacular and impressive. But Damia realized it. She could never be here.

‘I’m so sick and tired of everything. I don’t even want to see you.’

Fortunately, Akkard seemed to have grown tired of her resentment, and didn’t hold her back nor chase after her.

Wiping her tears away, Damia walked through the dazzling corridors and crossed a garden. And she crouched down and curled into a quiet lonely corner as dusk began to creep in.

After making sure that no one was around her, she cried out loud for the first time in her life.

‘It hurts. It hurts so much!’

The reality of not being loved by anyone was unbearable. She was sick of her own stupidity of not knowing how to manage and organize a relationship between men and women in a moderately flexible and relaxed manner. Why couldn’t she be more composed? More nonchalant?

‘That’s why you’re being treated like this.’

Kael’s eyes wrapped around the saint and looked at Damia as if she were a bug in his way. The cold voice of Akkard, who seemed to despise her for being only a woman with her body to offer.

Their gazes and attitudes hurt her more vividly than their words.

She tried so hard that she would not be hurt by a man, but she was ultimately unsuccessful. Because in the first place, she wasn’t the kind of person who could ‘moderately’ engage in a relationship.

‘If only I could just disappear.’