Volume 2 - CH 2

“Yahoo!”

“Listen here. If you don’t wanna die, stop the carriage and hand all yer cargo over!” A vulgar voice suddenly shouted.

Ryner Lute sighed.

Even now, his hair was messy and his posture was terrible. His sleepy eyes scanned his surroundings. “Such a pain…”

He sighed a second time.

The situation was as follows:

They were traveling on a remote road. Ryner was in the driver’s seat, and their carriage had been progressing at a leisurely pace. Then a bunch of guys on horses decided to surround them. There were six of them, and they were waving their poorly-made, thick swords around.

“What now!” One of the men yelled. “You got some nerve driving such a pretentious-lookin’ carriage around! You’re dripping cash, and on top of that, you’re scared shitless!”

No matter how one looked at it, it was a pretty tense situation.

Ryner, however, didn’t have a shred of urgency written on his face. Instead, he spoke with a voice that was crazy tired. “Whoa, hear that, Ferris? We’re dripping with cash. Where’d he even get that from? I haven’t had a good meal in forever…”

Ferris Eris nodded from beside him. In contrast with Ryner’s exhausted atmosphere, she exuded beauty. Though she was excessively expressionless… 

Her tone, too, was detached. “Mm. It’s horrible. But this is a common tale. They’re men who failed to earn an honest living. They don’t work, and they spend what little money they have on alcohol. When these trashy men drink, they get mean. In the end, they can’t afford to live, so they sell their wives out. The ones who suffer most in all of this are their wives and children.”

“What kind of story is that?”

“Yours, naturally. You borrowed money from the men surrounding us, did you not? But it looks like your wife didn’t cover the bill.”

“I don’t even have a wife,” Ryner mumbled and sighed. “They’re obviously bandits, right? And you’re the reason that we’re poor, not me. You’re the one who embezzled our funds.”

“Mm. I see. So you’re blaming all of this on delicate, pitiful women, even though they’re the ones who you turn into your prey.”

“……Who are you calling delicate.”

“Myself, of course,” Ferris replied instantly.

Ryner held his face in his hands. “Ah… My mental image of a delicate woman is crumbling,” he mumbled. “And we don’t have any money… At this rate, we’ll need to get jobs so we can keep traveling…”

“Who do ya think yer ignoring!? Stop your damn carriage and hand over everything you’ve got!” One of the bandits yelled. He swung his thick sword to intimidate them. A normal person would be intimidated, but… 

Ferris didn’t react to the sword in the slightest. “Hm. Money. Methods like this aren’t without ease.”

“Methods like this?” Ryner asked, also completely ignoring the bandits.

“Mm. We attack rich-looking carriages, just like these guys.”

“Oh, so that’s what you wanna do…”

“Hm? Do you have any complaints?” Ferris asked.

“You don’t want to attack bandits like these? You want to go for normal people?”

“Naturally. We don’t know if these guys have any money, but if they look rich, they are rich.”

“Th-that’s true, but… I just, like… feel better about stealing from bad people than from normal people, you know? I’d feel guilty.”

“Guilty? I don’t want to hear that from someone who attacks women in the depths of night,” Ferris said, maintaining a straight face. 

Ryner was going to reply, but then he looked very, very tired, then sighed and gave up before he even started. “Well… that’s fine, I guess… Anyway, should we do something? We might be able to eat a good meal today if we take everything they have.” He said as he ignored the bullies’ threats, just like any adult would.

A while later—or more like twenty seconds later—the two had knocked the poor bandits out and were fishing in their pockets. Ryner turned the dirty cloth inside out, and nothing came out.

He sighed. “This guy seriously didn’t have anything… How’s it going for you?”

“The same. They don’t have any valuables, either. It’s just as I said - there’s no conceivable way that bandits would be rich. If they were, they wouldn’t be laboring away as thieves. Rich people get more money by virtue of already having money.”

“…That’s kinda deep…”

“Mm. Our next target will be a mansion,” Ferris said.

“When did we become bandits by trade?”

“We are not bandits. We are chivalrous thieves, taking money from the rich and redistributing it to the poor.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that we’re stealing…”

So they said as they searched the pockets of the defeated bandits. No matter how one looked at it, it wasn’t chivalrous in the slightest…  

“Mm?” Ferris suddenly stopped. “This is…”

Ryner raised his head. “What? Did you find something edible?” He asked and shuffled over to look at a piece of paper that Ferris was holding.

Plan for Attacking the Ectal Congregation

“Heeeyy… what’re you staring at that so seriously for? You don’t seriously want to attack a church, do you?”

Ferris raised her head. “Do you have a problem with it?”

“Where’d all that talk about us being chivalrous go?”

Ferris ignored him, apparently completely unconcerned with his question. “The Runa Empire is different from Roland. You know that they borrow power from god to cast magic, don’t you?”

Ryner nodded. “Seems so. A book I read when I was researching all this said that you can’t cast Runa’s magic unless you’re devout, but… is that really true? That god would grant his power to living beings? Kinda unrealistic… How am I supposed to believe it?”

Ferris tilted her head. “You don’t believe in god but you’re against attacking a church?”

“No, the problem stems before believing or not believing… Like, even if we don’t believe, don’t you feel like we’ll get punished for it?”

“I won’t,” Ferris said, her reply instant. “Because I’m always on my best behavior.”

“……”

Ryner had no words.

Ferris ignored his expression and continued in that emotionless voice of hers. “The problem is that the magic here is directly linked to their religion. As a result, churches here - no matter how small they may be - are prosperous. And so—”

Ferris ripped off a piece of the paper and thrust it at Ryner. A simple blueprint of a building was drawn on it. Strange symbols were drawn among stars inside of a cross. Ryner had seen these symbols on Runa’s national flag, too, but he could tell that this version was shitty to the point of wondering if even their god would recognize it.

Anyway… 

In similarly shitty writing, ‘steya silver’ was written next to the symbol. Ferris pointed at it. “In any case, it appears that this church’s icon is made of silver.”

“Steya silver, huh… Sounds like this church’s got some cash.”

Steya silver was more beautiful than regular silver, and on top of that, it was rare. It was only natural that it fetched a pretty price. It was also pretty hard to process, so it was kinda impractical, but… 

“Hm. This ‘god’ character seems like he gets an impressive paycheck. I told you before, didn’t I? The ones who have the most money are the ones who don’t work for it.”

“…Okay, you’re right on that one… But about the whole being damned thing, are you telling me that stealing from god makes you chivalrous? You’re definitely gonna get punished somehow, you know? I mean, you’re talking about stealing from a church…”

That was as far as his complaining got, though. Because his poor undernourished stomach growled.

Ryner grimaced. “Well, I mean, I’ve never seen god before. I’m starting to think that it’s okay if I become chivalrous too…”

And so the two were damned for all eternity.

“Mm. Then let’s go.”

“Shall we?”

“Sister.”

“The hell?”

They got back into the carriage and began towards their new destination.

---

On the other hand, at another place.

“Excuse me!”

Milk Callaud was standing at the gate of a church. Her flaxen hair was tied up in a ponytail, and her eyes were just as cute as always. She was tapping with all her might on the gate. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Excuse meee, can we stay the night?”

The sun was nearly past the horizon, and there wasn’t a town in sight. Milk was surrounded by her guardians - er, her subordinates - who were talking amongst themselves with concerned expressions on their faces.

“It’ll be bad if they refuse,” Lear said. “Luke, if we don’t find somewhere to stay, it’ll be the middle of the night before we can sleep.”

“It’s bad alright,” Lach agreed. “Staying up late is bad for the body and mind.”

Moe paled. “It’s horrible! A good kid’s bedtime is at nine! That’s what a parenting book I read recently said.”

By the way, this was a group of Taboo Hunters, an elite military force within the Roland Empire, but… lately, their favorite book was called A Beginner’s Guide to Parenting. Wonder why… 

Anyway.

The oldest among them, Luke Stokkart, was still only twenty-five. He nodded. “I definitely don’t think that we should let her stay up too late…”

“It also said that we shouldn’t shelter her too much.”

“I know. That’s what Guide to Parenting said at the start of the second chapter.”

“Yes.”

What kind of conversation were they even having…?

Then the gate suddenly opened, and an older woman wrapped in a white robe came out. She was accompanied by several other women in matching robes. “I must humbly welcome you to our church. I am Shirme, the resident priest. Is something the matter…?” 

Milk gave her a big nod. “So Ryner was unfaithful and ran away, and now I have to find him, but Luke says I have to go to bed at nine, so we’ve been looking for somewhere to stay—”

Luke took a step forward in the middle of her explanation. “I apologize for our late introduction. We are a squadron of Taboo Hunters from the Roland Empire. Our current duty has taken us within the Runa Empire’s borders, but our plans faltered, and now we are left without anywhere to stay unless we travel far in the dead of night. We were wondering if it might be possible for us to impose on you for the night…”

Shirme smiled. “Oh, so you are from Roland. You have come a long way from home… You may stay as long as you wish.”

With that, it was settled.

They were fed a very simple meal and ate along with Priest Shirme and the other sisters.

“So that’s what has been going on,” the priest said. “Isn’t it hard to have your duty bring you so deep into Runa? You say that Milk is only sixteen…”

“It’s okay!” Milk said as she ate. “After all, I’m here with Luke and the others…”

The priest nodded along, a big smile on her face.

“And I absolutely have to catch Ryner!” Milk continued. “We promised to get married, you know?”

“I see. So you have to catch your fiance? That does sound difficult.”

“It is! And even though we promised, he ran away with this woman who’s only got her beauty going for her!”

“Huh? A beautiful… woman!?”

“Yeah! Ryner’s definitely being seduced by her! That’s why I have to open his eyes to reality!” Milk said, fired up by the conversation.

In contrast, a complicated expression was on the priest’s face. “Um, pardon me, but I do have a question…”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“I am only asking, but were you not here on military duty? As a chief?”

Milk nodded with ease. “Yeah, that’s right. Ah! You don’t believe it because I’m so small, right? But it’s true. Right? Luke?”

“It’s true. Chief Milk is an accomplished graduate of an elite military academy,” Luke said, with the tone of a doting father.

That aside, the priest’s expression only deepened as she listened to Luke’s explanation. “No, that is not what I meant to ask… Rather, I am asking about your fiance… Could it be that they’re male…?”

Luke realized what she was trying to say and became flustered. “Ah!? Ah, no, that’s not it, that’s not it! She may be wearing a military uniform, but our chief is a girl!”

He’d explained this to many people here already. Luke smiled bitterly as he thought back on it. Women were absolutely forbidden in military spaces in Runa, so this was a common misunderstanding.

The priest was shocked. “Huh? A girl?”

“Yes. Besides, she’s a girl no matter how you look at her, isn’t she? A cute and honest child like her could only be a girl,” Luke sincerely said, bursting with that doting father bit.

The priest was dumbfounded by this revelation. “Haa… Now that you mention it, I do see a cute girl…”

Then the priest paled and abruptly stood.

“W-what is the meaning of this!? You are telling me that Milk is a girl on dangerous military duty!?” She shouted in disbelief.

Luke nodded to her despite the threatening look in her eyes. 

“How deplorable,” the priest continued. “Burdening a woman with military duty… What is Roland’s king thinking? He is a good-for-nothing, incompetant king—,” she said. If they’d been elsewhere, her words could have sparked a war. Then she realized that and stopped herself.

Luke tried to interject. “Er, no…”

Priest Shirme shook her head and spoke again. “Ah, do what you must. We cannot have this sinful conversation. God would never forgive it… I understand what I must do. I will show you God’s path…”

She closed her eyes and made a gesture as if in prayer. Then, “It’s coming to me… aah, it’s coming to me… ah!?” She screeched. Her eyes were opened and fixed in place. Then she made some connection and assumed a satisfied expression. “I see. You are soon to marry. A woman’s happiness is to marry and stay in the house!”

“This is sudden—”

“Yes, it’s been decided… Just now, I heard God’s voice. Luke, you will be Milk’s husband.” 

“What!?” Milk and her squad yelled simultaneously.

“I-I’m twenty-five years old, you know?” Luke said. “Marrying a sixteen year old would be a crime…”

“That doesn’t matter! My decisions = God’s intentions. After all, I just heard God’s voice,” Priest Shirme said, a serious expression on her face despite the dangerous words coming out of her mouth. 

The sisters, meanwhile, looked to Priest Shirme with nothing but respect in their eyes. “As expected of Lady Shirme. Her faith must be unshakable for her to hear God’s voice with such ease.”

Priest Shirme nodded. “It all started when I blacked out from drinking. I was stricken with a divine revelation, the voice of God: he bestowed upon me his words, ‘Forget that man and serve me!’”

“Simply amazing!”

“God is truly at the side of every young woman!”

So they said, ready to cry… 

Luke and the others looked defeated by Priest Shirme’s excessive pushiness, but Milk found it in herself to object. “Um, but I have my promise with Ryner—”

“Now, Sisters, we must work with haste. Let us prepare for the wedding ceremony. Let’s get Milk into her wedding dress.”

“Huh!? Wedding dress? You have a wedding dress!?”

“Sisters, please show Milk the way.”

“Of course. This way, Milk.”

“Where, where!”

And so they coaxed Milk away.

Sisters swarmed Luke and the others, too. 

“Let’s get you into a tuxedo, Luke! Come now, take off your clothes! Hehe, I’ve never seen a nude man before! ♡”

“Kyaa! ♡ Me neither!” 

“It’s been four years for me. ♡”

They kyaa-kyaa’d as they pushed Luke away into a separate room, all fired up.

And so it was decided that Milk and Luke would be married.

---

The sun had long since fallen, leading way to the dead of night.

Ryner and Ferris stood outside of the church.

Ferris broke a small section of stained glass away with her sword, and they both peeked inside.

“…I think it’s kinda weird that there’s a light on in the middle of the night,” Ryner said, tired. “Why’re they at church so late?”

For some reason, Milk was inside in a pure white wedding dress, and her subordinate with the white hair - Luke, if he remembered correctly - was standing right there with her, wearing a tuxedo. An older woman, likely a priest, stood between them and a massive cross, hundreds of times larger than Ryner had imagined it to be.

Sisters and Milk’s subordinates watched on, tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

“…What the hell are they doing?” Ryner whispered and looked to Ferris.

“It has to be a wedding ceremony. She seems to have chosen a familiar perverted sex fiend rather than you,” she said and patted Ryner’s shoulder. “Don’t let it discourage you.”

“…No, I’m seriously not discouraged about literally anything… and you trying to comfort me makes me feel weirdly miserable, so knock it off. But anyway, what should we do?”

“Mm. I see no issue. The fact that someone is having a wedding changes nothing, even if it’s a wedding involving your ex.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I was talking about that symbol. It’s huge. Even the two of us won’t be able to move it, y’know?”

Ferris moved her head away from the stained glass, but maintained her emotionlessness. “That doesn’t matter. All we have to do is cut it up,” she said as she unsheathed her sword.

“You say that pretty easy, but it’s steya silver, right? That stuff’s pretty hard. Pretty sure it’s a four on the hardness scale…”

Also, this was probably obvious, but even if they managed to cut it all down, nothing said that they’d be able to carry it out. There was literally no point if they couldn’t get it out of there… 

But Ferris ignored Ryner as she brandished her sword. She cut through the iron frames holding stained glass into four angles, as if it was just gelatin. By the way, iron was even harder than steya silver. Despite that fact, she swung her sword through it as if nothing was there, and it—the wall? Or maybe it was a door now?—fell silently into four pieces.

Then she turned back to Ryner. “Let’s go.”

“Hey… I’m always thinking this, but you’re kind of a monster, aren’t you?”

“You have no right to call me a monster.”

They headed inside causally, trespassing just like any (other) thief would. Then their pace picked up as they headed for the symbol.

The priest was the first to notice her uninvited visitors. “You’ve come so late at night… Do you have some business here…? And who might you be?” She asked cautiously. 

‘Shit, this is bad’ was written all over Ryner’s face just as Milk opened her mouth.

“Ah! Ryner!? You came for me!” She screamed. For some reason, she was teary-eyed, and her whole face seemed to shine. “Kyaa! ♡ Has my true love come to save me, saying ‘Run away with me!’ all the while!? No way! ♡ This is so dramatic!”

The priest’s eyes narrowed as she listened to Milk, who was inside of her own dream. “Hmm. So you’re Ryner. You’re the atrocious man who stepped all over your promise to marry her and forced her into the military…”

“…I feel like you’re misunderstanding basically everything about this whole situation…”

The priest completely ignored Ryner. “God will never forgive you! He bestowed upon you a woman and you only now come to claim her! It’s useless trying to stop it now. She will be married to Luke!”

Ferris patted Ryner’s shoulder for a second time that night. “Mm. It’s just as she says. A man’s lingering feelings mean nothing. Give up.”

“No… um… uuh, I guess I don’t really care at this point,” Ryner pouted. Then he looked around at his surroundings. “Let’s hurry up and steal this so we can go home.”

“Steal!?” Milk’s face shone. “Did you say steal? That’s so bold! ♡ Kyaah!”

Luke paled. “S-steal!? Chief is still a minor! Do you understand that!?”

“‘S-steal?’ That’s so improper… Don’t you realize that she is a young woman?” The priest said. 

Ferris took a step forward and spoke in her usual monotone. “What a foolish question. This sex fiend does not care if the person he uses and throws away in a night’s time is a young woman or a man.”

To think that she said something that seriously with not only a straight face, but a serious tone, too.

Everyone present paled. “E-even men!?”

The priest’s expression wouldn’t have gotten any worse even if she learned that the world would end by morning. “Good lord! Good gracious! Why must you go so contrary to God’s teachings!? People like you are the cause of sickness and poverty!”

There was no way that was true!

…Though Ryner had no energy for rebuttals like that lately. Maybe that was part of why this shit just kept happening to him… 

Ferris looked at Ryner, and suddenly looked shocked - though her eyes were just as dead as always - and spoke. “So you’re the source of all evil in the world…”

“Ah… yeah,” Ryner said. “You’re surprised, huh. You’re sooo shocked that I’m the king of evil things. First I’ve heard of it too, to be honest. Anyway, are you satisfied now?”

For some reason, Ferris looked unreasonably sad. “Mm.”

“Then should we get back to work?”

“…Yeah.”

“Hey, youuu… What’s with you getting all sad when I stop playing along? You’re making me feel like I’m in the wrong.”

“Heheh.”

“Ah! You just laughed, you bastard!”

Ferris ignored him and unsheathed her sword. Apparently she was satisfied now. “Playtime is over. Let’s go, Ryner.” Then she raised her voice a bit. “Let’s go, Ryner! Let’s steal that woman who you threw out after you were done with her so long ago!”

Ferris then disappeared. She didn’t actually disappear, but she moved so fast that it was near impossible to see her.

Ryner sighed. “So you’re trying to grab their attention… What a pain.”

The priest’s expression hardened. “I won’t hand Milk over to you, the incarnation of all evil! Sisters, hide Milk!”

““Yes, ma’am!””

The sisters crowded around Milk and her subordinates. 

“Huh? Huh? Huh? What’s… ow, ow! Auh…”

They knocked their hands against the pressure points in their necks as many times as it took to knock Milk and her subordinates out, but thanks to their training, they stayed conscious as the sisters led them into another room.

“Whoa, hey… Are you trying to kill them!?” Ryner said, finally finding the strength for some kind of rebuttal. Though it was completely ignored, exactly as expected… 

“It’s time to test your devotion, sisters! Show this evil-doer the power of Runa’s God!”

“Understood!” The sisters replied. Theydrew crosses before themselves. “O God who lies in heaven…”

“Huh? Are you kidding me!” Ryner yelled, shocked. “They’re just sisters! How do they know magic!?”

The priest laughed loudly. “Of course they can use magic! Runa is a country of believers. God bestows upon us magical power equivalent to the strength of our faith. It is only natural that the clergy of our country all know magic. That means that God leads me and my sisters to battle as holy officers!”

“Uh… what? To battle? But I heard that women aren’t allowed in the military here…?”

The priest looked at him like there was no medicine for his level of idiocy. “We are not soldiers! We are holy officers. How could you possibly confuse the two?”

“Say that all you want, but aren’t they just different in name…? Though this isn’t the time to have this long conversation! Uh, soo,” Ryner said as he watched the sisters with his peculiar eyes. A red pentagram rose within their depths as he carefully observed their spell.

“This is bad,” Ryner mumbled. “If it’s true that only the faithful can use their magic, then since I don’t believe in it, I wouldn’t be able to copy it with my Alpha Stigma and cancel it at all… huh?” He made a stupid sound, then took a troubled expression and tilted his head. “Uh, but… I don’t see a divine component or anything like that…”

And if he couldn’t see it with his Alpha Stigma, it likely wasn’t there at all. It did seem like it was easier for the faithful like the sisters to learn and cast, though. Either way, though.

“I can use this.”

Ryner pressed his hand to his chest as if in prayer, and spoke the intonation that the sisters hadn’t yet finished.

“O God who lies in heaven, save us pitiful humans with your winds!”

A maelstrom was born from Ryner’s hands. And the sisters who it hit… 

“Kyaaaa! ♡”

They moved their hands away from their spells to hold the hems of their robes down, easily canceling their spells.

“I guess that works,” Ryner mumbled as he averted his eyes. Certainly, they weren’t soldiers in this sense. If he saw anything, he’d be begging for them to kill him instead of trying to prevent it… 

“How could a nonbeliever like you use Runa’s magic!?”

Ryner couldn’t bring himself to tell them that the unfaithful could actually use their magic. It was their right as people to believe in god if they wanted to, after all.

Ferris, who for some reason had been standing somewhere behind the priest casually watching them this whole time, noticed that Ryner looked to her and sliced up at the symbol. Then she returned to Ryner.

“Fgh… Getting this symbol has been far harder than expected.”

“Don’t lie! You treated the whole thing like you were sightseeing… oh, well. Whatever. So are we rich now?”

Ferris shook her head, unperturbed. “No. That symbol wasn’t silver.”

“Huh? Then what was it?”

“Come look.”

Ferris handed a piece of the not-silver over to Ryner, who began to shiver.

“This is… wood,” he said.

“It is.”

“…We can’t make money out of this…”

“Yeah.”

“…So all of the effort we just went through…?”

“Mm-hm.”

The sound of Ferris’ voice echoed through the church, and then the whole church began to tremble.

“Huh?” Ryner looked up at the ceiling. Bits of it were sprinkling down. “It’s… crumbling? Are we seriously doing this again?”

“The symbol must have been its support. Though that was fairly obvious.”

“…No, even if it was ‘obvious’…”

The sisters had noticed what was happening, too, and began to scream.

Then the priest spoke in her priest-like way. “Good lord! My goodness! My house of God… my house of God! This is divine punishment! It’s punishment for me selfishly selling the silver from the cross and using it on the young and burly bartender from Pino Bar with ulterior motives! God is punishing me!”

“…Really…”

Didn’t she say before that the unfaithful couldn’t use Runa’s magic? Ryner thought it, but he didn’t really want to know what’d happen if he actually said it.

He watched the half-crazed priest for a long moment before reaching his limit. “Um, so… uh, yeah, we’re leaving…”

“Mm.”

And so they disappeared into the night once more.

By the way, on the following day, in the nearest town, an iron safe was cut apart, its contents stolen.

But that was a different story entirely.