CH 38

"I'll help you wash yourself"

When Qi Yan said this, she didn't think too much about it. She was simply concerned that she had a wound on her leg, and it was inconvenient to take a bath alone. If the wound got wet, it would be very easy to get infected. After finally getting rid of the nightmare of the snake's venom, nothing should happen again. But as soon as the words fell, the room was suddenly quiet. Lu Zhiqiao caught the bag in her hand and fell to the ground with a "slap", then raised her head and looked at her in horror.

A little bit of cherry color spread from the tips of the ears.

Qi Yan was stunned, but later realized that the ambiguous meaning in her words was obvious, and her thin lips moved: "I—"

"Teacher. Qi is helping mom take a bath? So you're going to be naked?" Lu Wei stretched her neck curiously and looked over, interrupting Qi Yan's words, which made the atmosphere more daydream-provoking.

Lu Zhiqiao frowned, her cheeks blushed, she couldn't help thinking of that crazy night, her heart was beating fast, she pretended nothing happened, bent down to pick up the bag, and whispered: "No, I can do it myself."

She realized now that Qi Yan might have good intentions and didn't think too much about it, fearing that her wound would be inconvenient to take a shower, but it was her who thought in a wrong way for no reason. She shouldn't blame others for what goes on inside her mind.

"I didn't mean that, don't get me wrong..."

Qi Yan couldn't continue, and looked at the culprit, Niu Niu, and said in a hurry: "We're all girls, and I have what you have. There is nothing to be shy about."

This little girl's childish remark almost stained her own innocence.

Unexpectedly, Lu Wei nodded vigorously and echoed: "That's right, mom, your legs can't touch the water, it must be inconvenient to take a bath by yourself, don't be shy to ask Teacher Qi to help you."

"..."

There was an eerie silence in the room.

Qi Yan's heart tightened, thinking that the child had discovered something, she pretended to look up calmly, but saw the little girl holding her mobile phone and continuing to play games, she didn't care, she looked normal.

This kid is straight, straight, straight. Qi Yan comforted herself inwardly.

Judging from her experience of seeing countless people, the more straight she is, the more indifferent she is to the intimacy between same-sex. She remembered the female classmates who kissed and hugged her when she was a child were all like this, sultry without knowing it. It made Qi Yan think about it. If she wanted to pretend, she would follow how they act and blend in. At any time, friendship could be used as a shield.

However, how could she be content with the so-called friendship?  She wants more and can't wait to think about it, but at the same time, she has to respect Lu Zhiqiao's wishes. As long as the other party doesn't accept her, they can only continue to maintain their "friendship".

"It's really unnecessary." Lu Zhiqiao lowered her gaze and said in a dull voice. "I wrapped my legs with a towel so they wouldn't touch the water."

"What if?" Seeing that she was taking it lightly, Qi Yan was a little anxious, and her voice involuntarily became louder.  "Infection is no joke. You just came out of the hospital, do you want to go in again?"

The few minutes of waiting in the hospital lasted as long as centuries. At that time, she felt that the sky was about to collapse, and now that she got reminded of it, cold sweats break on her back. She tasted that feeling once when she was nine years old, and  tasted it again today. She didn’t want to taste it again, for the third time.

Lu Zhiqiao was frightened by the sudden stern tone, finally raised her eyes and looked at her. Those twinkling amber eyes were full of worries, full of fear, with hints of anger, but very restrained. Afraid of being seen that she cares deeply.

She saw it.

Her heart leaped hard, and jumped into her throat.

Her world has been barren, dry for too long. When someone cared about her and was nervous about her, it was like long-awaited rain, pattering into her cracked heart. She was ready to move, instinctively longing, and surrendered all of a sudden.

"...okay, I'll fill the bathtub."

"I'll go." Qi Yan stopped her, carried the bag to the kitchen, took off the sun protection clothing outside, turned around and went into the bathroom, washed her hands twice with hand sanitizer, and rinsed the bathtub before starting to turn on the water.

Lu Wei was playing games on the sofa, and it seemed that she had entered into an intense stage. She was having a good time playing, and she didn't pay attention to the situation here. Lu Zhiqiao didn't care too much, her body was too dirty, so she took off her short sleeves and shorts in one go. Then went into the bathroom with a blushing face.

The hot water was filled quickly, and the inside was filled with smoke.

As soon as Qi Yan turned around, she saw Lu Zhiqiao huddled by the door, standing against the wall, only wearing underwear. Her face turned red and ears hot and was in a daze for a moment. She couldn't help but swallow, she quickly looked away, and looked down. Said in a loud voice: "I have seen everything that should be seen, and you have seen me too. We're even, don't be embarrassed."

"..."

Lu Zhiqiao got reminded, her face is burning hot, and she wishes she could escape immediately. However, Qi Yan has already come over with a bath towel: "Wrap up the wound."

She tried her best not to look at her, but her eyes didn't listen.

Lu Zhiqiao usually looks thin,soft and weak, but in fact her body is quite proportional; she has enough fat but has a thin frame, giving people the feeling of being a delicate bird. But she probably has not exercised too much, her muscles are slightly looser, like cotton candy.

There is a heat, burning up along the spine, she hurriedly back away a little, pretending to test the water temperature.

Seeing that she's behaving well, Lu Zhiqiao also breathed a sigh of relief, quickly removed the rest of her clothes, wrapped the wound with a bath towel, tied a knot, and walked to the bathtub to get into the water.

"Slow down." Qi Yan was afraid that she would lose her balance and fall, so she supported her thin arm, letting most of Lu Zhiqiao's weight lean on her. Her line of sight shifted involuntarily, passing through the lush jungle, and her eyes suddenly dimmed.

The two were very close, and could smell the fragrance of each other's hair, but the water vapor was already stuffy, and the dryness was even more intense. Lu Zhiqiao was extremely sensitive, her heart was beating violently in her throat, and she felt uncomfortable with some unspeakable excitement. She tilted her head slightly, and her thin lips touched Qi Yan's ear inadvertently, and she could clearly feel that the woman stiffened.

However, no one dared to play with fire.

Lu Zhiqiao put one foot into the water, put the other half on the edge of the bathtub, sat down, and secretly glanced at Qi Yan.

Qi Yan never looked sideways, and behaved herself, kept her eyes on the towel covering the wound, and said very understandingly: "You can wash by yourself, I won't look, if you want to move or take something, tell me .”

"..."

Who told you to watch? Lu Zhiqiao reproached in her thoughts, pursed her lips, and ignored her.

The steaming water vapor is getting stronger and stronger, and the sliding glass door is now foggy. Qi Yan is staring at the bath towel, motionless like a puppet. The calmer she is on the surface, the more turbulent her heart is - listening to the gurgling sound in her ear, she couldn't help thinking about it, a real torture.

She just came out to play and stayed in the same room. She didn't bring any small toys.

So she had to divert her attention, thinking about noon, thinking about the rainforest, snakes, blood, and the fear of death, and gradually lost in thoughts, which made her feel better.

After taking a shower, Qi Yan went to pack the ingredients for cooking, while Lu Zhiqiao stood on the balcony to enjoy the air.

The sun had already set on the horizon, the sky was dark, and at the turn of day and night, the moon climbed up. There are still many tourists on the beach, some set up tents, some have kebabs and drink beer, it's so lively.

Wechat received a lot of New Year's greetings, Lu Zhiqiao replied one by one, with some polite words left and right, Wen Zilong sent her a red envelope, she accepted it, and then sent a bigger one, and then sent another to Qi Yan on a whim.

That person is cooking, so she shouldn't be able to see her phone.

The warm wind blew away some of the heat from her cheeks. Lu Zhiqiao turned around and entered the room, put her phone aside, walked lightly to the door of the kitchen, saw Qi Yan's busy body inside, and stepped forward unconsciously: "Let me help."

The soup was simmering in the pot, while Qi Yan was cutting potatoes. Hearing her speak, she tilted her head and smiled gently: "No, go to rest and you'll be fine after eating."

Lu Zhiqiao didn't move, she reached out to find the ingredients bag, and asked, "What did you buy?"

"I don't know what you like to eat. I just bought whatever I saw," Qi Yan closed her eyes, smiled embarrassedly, and felt sad for a moment.

It's not the first time she cooks for Lu Zhiqiao. Every time, Lu Zhiqiao would eat whatever she does, no matter whether it's porridge and snacks for breakfast, stir-fried vegetables for lunch, or noodles for supper, she hardly picks. Two days ago, she made several dishes with different flavors with limited ingredients and food. At the dinner table, she wanted to observe which dish Lu Zhiqiao ate most frequently, but this person ate every dish very evenly, and she ate not more or less than one bite, as if she's not picky at all.

People who have no taste preference are the most difficult to figure out, and she has no way to start.

Lu Zhiqiao paused, and her heart skipped a beat. Her slender knuckles trembled and curled up, and whispered, "You can ask me."

"Then I will ask you now."

"Okay."

"What vegetables do you like to eat?" Qi Yan stopped the knife in her hand.

"Potatoes, Enoki mushrooms, Winter melon, Water spinach, Edamame."

"What about meat dishes?"

"Beef, chicken."

"Seafood?"

"Squid, prawns, oysters."

"Fruit?"

"Strawberry, Lychee."

"Snack?"

"No snacks."

Qi Yan asked a lot of questions, and Lu Zhiqiao answered them one by one. In the end, she made an ok gesture to show that she understood, and continued to work on her work.

Seeing her chopping vegetables with skillful knives, and her soft long hair hanging down like a waterfall, Lu Zhiqiao couldn't help but gently gather her hair and play with it, as if talking to herself: "In fact, except for ginger, garlic and onions, I am basically not picky."

Qi Yan's hair quality is really good, it feels smooth and comfortable to touch

"Thank you for the compliment."

"What?"

Qi Yan leaned her body slightly, let her play with her hair, raised her eyes and smiled: "Don't you mean to praise me that everything I cook is delicious, and you like to eat everything?"

"..."

This person is really narcissistic, she doesn't know what shame is. Lu Zhiqiao was secretly ashamed and annoyed, she slightly increased her strength with her hands and pulled her hair.

"Ouch--"

"Concentrate on chopping vegetables."

After dinner, Qi Yan took Lu Wei out for a walk for a while to digest food, thinking that Lu Zhiqiao was alone in the hotel, they didn't take long, returned to the room in ten minutes. To pass the boring time, the three of them sat on the balcony and played poker. Qi Yan deliberately lost several times. She ended up having her face covered with white stripes, which made the mother and daughter laugh heartily.

What happened during the day made everyone tense and consumed too much energy. Now that the big stone pressing on their hearts is released, their nerves also relaxed. Before ten o'clock, they all felt sleepy.

Thinking that Lu Zhiqiao had a leg injury, Qi Yan let her sleep in a bed alone, and Niu Niu slept with her. Of course, the child had no objection, and the three of them lay down early and went to sleep separately.

The tourists gradually recede, and the beach under the night is peaceful.

Lu Zhiqiao had a dream. She dreamt that she was in an unfamiliar forest and was being chased by a big black python. The python opened its mouth wide and its two sharp fangs were dripping with foul-smelling and disgusting saliva, making a strange and terrifying cry. She ran to the edge of a cliff, unable to retreat, jumped down in despair, and then woke up with a startle.

She opened her eyes in the quiet darkness.

She realized it was a dream.

Her body was dripping with sweat, and the pillow and sheets were wet and damp. She opened her mouth and took a deep breath.

That night, the cool wind blows, mixed with the salty and wet atmosphere, a lonely and desolate waning moon hangs high in the sky, the sound of waves beating the wet sand can be faintly heard from the beach, the surroundings are dark, only stars are lights.

Lu Zhiqiao leaned on the railing with her elbows, her shoulders slightly bent, staring at the looming outline of the tent on the beach, her thoughts drifting away.

They were only half way through the holidays but she felt as if it was half as long as her lifetime. In just a few days, it seemed that she had experienced countless things.

The island is a paradise isolated from the world. Here, she forgot her original self and took off the heavy mask, revealing the most real and most unbearable things inside. She couldn't look directly at it, and even almost had a face to face with death. She began to think about who she was, what she wanted to do, and what was the meaning of her life.

Everything started with that person.

Once upon a time, she would never have thought about this, where she would have so many unrealistic worries, where she would find herself in trouble. Her life has been divided by a chasm called sin, the first twenty-one years, she was herself, the next eleven years, she was a numb dead machine.

But today she came back to life, she really felt the feeling of being nervous and being cared about, that feeling was enough to break her cold mechanical shell, and gouged deeply into her soft heart.

She suddenly realized that she wanted this so much.

Like a traveler looking for an oasis in the desert.

Qi Yan, could she be a mirage?

There are many, many people who treat her well, and there are also many, many people who care about her. She will not be moved and dedicate everything just because of a little favor from others. But Qi Yan was different, maybe she was attracted to that person early on, and she just didn't know it, so if Qi Yan did these things that anyone could do, it made her throbbing.

However, people like Qi Yan are destined to not belong to the same world as her.

How could she like Qi Yan?

She will not.

Lu Zhiqiao was distracted, and didn't notice that the glass door behind her was quietly opened, and suddenly an arm was wrapped around her waist. She was caught off guard by the hug from behind. She almost screamed loudly but her mouth was covered by warm palms.

"Qi—"

"Hush."

The light and quiet fragrance of shampoo penetrated into her nose, which was very familiar, and a warm breath came from the side of the ear: "Can't sleep?"

Lu Zhiqiao hummed softly, her heart beating faster suddenly.

"I can't sleep either." Qi Yan kissed her ear, "Chat with me."

"……okay."

Then, there was a long silence.

The strength around her waist didn't slacken, on the contrary, it became even tighter. Qi Yan pressed her chin against her face, her breathing was a little heavy, and her voice was hoarse: "Were you scared today?"

Unexpectedly, she just asked this question. Lu Zhiqiao paused, thinking that she had been watched and there was nothing to deny, so she nodded frankly: "I was afraid."

"I was too."

"?"

"I was afraid you'll be poisoned, I was afraid you will die, I was afraid there will be no more of you in my world." Qi Yan said calmly.

Lu Zhiqiao's heart trembled, her breathing stopped for a few seconds, she didn't speak, and waited for Qi Yan to continue.

"When you were sent in for emergency treatment, I thought of my grandfather. He was a very kind person who loved me very much. When I was nine years old, he had a serious illness. He didn't get over it. He passed away. I remember clearly, a few minutes before he was rescued, he was still saying that he would cook sweet and sour pork ribs for me when he recovered from his illness, and then, within two hours, he..."

Qi Yan's throat choked, and lower lip clenched.

There was a slow, deep breathing sound from the back, calm and lengthy.

"I never had sweet and sour pork ribs again."

Lu Zhiqiao grabbed her hand lying in front of her suddenly, her brows clenched into a ball, and she clenched it tightly, holding her breath and the pain in her chest was unbearable.

"I thought at the time, if you are gone, I will take all the money in your card, take Niu Niu as my own, and then go to your grave every day to play disco."

"Hahahahaha."

Qi Yan laughed aloud as she spoke, her narrow and deep eyes were bent like the waning moon in the sky, a crystal tear was squeezed out and slipped down quietly. "In the end, I will forget about you and find a stepmother for Niu Niu."

"Lu Zhiqiao."

"It's a good thing you didn't die."

"I don't want your two dollars, and I don't want to find a stepmother for Niu Niu."

"I think I can be her second mother." Qi Yan tilted her head and pecked the corner of her lips, "What do you think, child's own mother?

The salty sea breeze blew the loose hair on her forehead, and the ends scratched her skin, making it itch. Lu Zhiqiao held Qi Yan's hand tightly, and the calm lake in her heart rippled layers of waves because of the words, "child's own mother" and she suddenly felt nervous and flustered, but there was a wry smile in her eyes: "Qi Yan..."

"Yes, I'm here."

"Can you answer a question for me?"

Qi Yan touched her ear with her face, kissed her hair, and said softly, "Say it."

"What do you like about me?"