CH 88

Well…

Even though I still occasionally have nightmares, my sleep quality wasn’t any worse than usual. Nonetheless, it appeared to be a sign that I was gradually getting better.

Last night, Rex visited me in my room. Did he return?

As I was too lazy to get up, I turned around to see if Rex had returned back to his room. No? Turning around, I noticed something,

“Nero?”

Nero was staring at me. Did Nero actually move? I could only blink out of shock.

That scared me. Is Nero possessed?

“Nero? Is it Nero?”

“…….”

At my call, Nero repeatedly stretched its body. 

“Are you able to move?”

“…….”

“Really? Did God grant my wish?”

“Pfft.”

Nero laughed at me as I mumbled blankly. Are you laughing at your friend? I turned around and slowly approached Nero, who tilted his head at me.

“Nero…… Big brother?”

“Oh, my. You caught me.”

I noticed Gilbert leaning under the bed and holding Nero as I approached the end of the bed to speak with him.

So Gilbert is posing as a doll.

“It doesn’t suit you…….”

“haha. You always say hurtful things.”

Gilbert laughed at the unintentional murmur I let out. He didn’t feel bad despite my criticism of him. He simply gave my head a gentle pat.

“I’m not sick.”

“Then why do you keep lying down?”

“I don’t want to get up.”

Without realizing it, Gilbert’s pleasant voice made me grumble. He  never stopped patting my head; instead, he simply nodded subtly as if he understood. Oddly, I felt better. Perhaps it’s because I slept better today. I might have felt a little irritated if it had happened yesterday.

“They said your nickname is Kitty.”

“It’s not a nickname that many people refer to me by.”

Only Lucas and Bonita occasionally refer to me by this nickname, so when Gilbert called me Kitty out of the blue, I felt a little awkward. So I drew the blanket up to my mouth.

“Don’t get sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Still.”

“…….”

“Don’t get sick.”

Gilbert’s expression while saying that appeared dejected, so I refrained from speaking. Gilbert doesn’t look good, to be honest. He had to be busy and couldn’t sleep because he was worried about me.

Without saying anything more, I closed my eyes. I could still feel Gilbert’s touch. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t have any nightmares as I dozed off after feeling this touch.

***

When I opened my eyes again, the room was dark, and Gilbert’s touch that had been stroking my head was no longer there. I slept the entire day. Bonita and Carol wake me up to eat, and then I fall back asleep. I slept well today.

“I’ll get out of bed starting tomorrow.”

What happened that day left such a mark on me that I couldn’t get out of bed, so many things on my mind, including Rex’s crying and Gilbert’s face.

Mary, you must be strong. You cannot live out the rest of your days in bed.

I was relieved that there were so many people who wanted to protect me; I need to practice archery with Hestia or train with the Knights.

“Having an ability would be nice,”

Anyhow, I’m also a Conler family member, so why don’t I have an ability? Do I not possess mana? I stretched my hand out, then clenched it again.

“I want to be strong.”

There are, of course, other motives, like the desire to avoid bothering anyone or preparation for the time when I live alone, but the main reason is…

Because I am a Conler as well.

I’ve heard that Rex went through the bodies to help me. Naturally, I was appreciative to Rex for that, but besides that, I felt frustrated and helpless.

Yes, to be completely honest, I even experienced a strange form of jealousy for Rex. I despised myself for it. On Rex’s first day, Hestia said something that I still recall. In any case, I need not worry because I am Conler. But if I lack both power and mana, am I still allowed to use the name Conler?

Just because I have black hair?

I fell asleep again. In my dream, I saw Grand Duke Estin standing in front of me. He was giving me a bear hug and grinning broadly, saying he had finally found me.

Even if I get into trouble once more, I think everything will be fine.

But when I opened my eyes, the director’s face flashed before me.

I sprang up as I rubbed my arms with my hands at the sudden chill. Is the window open? I stood up and tried to go to the window, but I hesitated. What if they see me outside the window?

‘Was I such a coward?’

An unknown sense of defeat came over me in vain. I lay under the covers. When Gilbert patted me on the head, I thought everything was fine, but when it got dark, fear filled my body again.

What should I do?

As I continued to tremble, I unexpectedly heard the door open. My body stopped shaking. I was terrified. Who’s that? Are you here to abduct me once more? Are you going to abandon me again to the director? You’ll send me away from this house, from Conler’s castle. No, this is my home. I’ve got to get away.

Thinking along these lines, the blanket was carefully lifted. I firmly shut my eyes. Tears were streaming down my face.

“It’s me.”

I heard a pleasant voice. I slowly and carefully cracked open my tightly closed eyes. My eyes were watering and my vision was foggy.

“Dad?”

“You only call me dad at times like this.”

Grand Duke Estin sat on my bed with a dry smile. He wiped my face carefully with his big hand. I was relieved by the touch.

“Why are you crying?”

“…….”

“hmm?”

In my stubborn silence, Grand Duke Estin urged me once more, but I kept silent. I didn’t feel like answering the question.

There was nothing but silence in my room. I didn’t want to break it. In fact, the warmth of Grand Duke Estin alone was strangely reassuring. I could feel the anxious thoughts that were biting my tail calm down.

“Mary.”

“…….”

“You have to answer.”

“……Yes.”

He insisted on hearing the answer. 

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

“………what is it?”

Is it a request to eat well? Or is it a request not to step outside anymore?

I was thinking to myself about what his request would be. He spoke carefully. What kind of request is it that he’s taking so long to answer?

“I had a scary dream.”

“Yes?”

“Will you sleep with me?”

As Grand Duke Estin spoke, I couldn’t say anything and just looked. Did I hear it wrong? Is Estin Conler asking me to sleep with him because he had a nightmare? What a ridiculous situation.

And I noticed.

Why Grand Duke Estin wants to sleep with me now.

I nodded because I didn’t want to refuse his favor. Grand Duke Estin carefully entered my quilt. I only looked at the scene.

“Mary.”

“Yes.”

“I said I had a scary dream.”

I couldn’t understand Grand Duke Estin’s intention, so I just blinked, and suddenly he opened his arm.

“Now, hold me and calm me down.”

As soon as I heard those words, I dived into his arms and embraced him tightly.

Grand Duke Estin patted me on the back. The gesture was so sweet that my eyes began to close, and my mouth began to open without realizing it.

“Dad…”

“Yes.”

“I, I was so scared…….”

“You must have been.”

“I thought dad would be there when I closed and opened my eyes, but you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry.”

At the apology of Grand Duke Estin, I dug deeper into his arms. I don’t know. I didn’t mean to receive an apology, but I felt strangely stable when I received an apology like this.

“This won’t happen again, Mary.”

“……,”

“But if this happens, if you close your eyes and open them, I will be there.”

There was silence again. The hand of Grand Duke Estin, who patted me, never stopped.

“By the way, Mary.”

“Yes.”

“You’re a strong kid.”

“Me?”

Calling me a strong kid? You saw how much I cried. I raised my head slightly in wonder. I wanted to see his expression, but all I could discern was his chin.

“It’s just that I wasn’t ready.”

“Ready…?”

“The next time something like this happens, I will make sure you don’t have to close your eyes out of fear. I will fight the enemy with your eyes open.”

“…….”

“I will make it so.”

Strangely, what Grand Duke Estin was saying now sounded more reassuring than saying he would be with me when I close and open my eyes. 

[TL/N: Hello readers! Sorry for the late update my laptop suddenly stopped working last week but its okay now. Update schedule: M-W-F]