CH 30

Chapter 30: Silhouette of Romance

Over the weekend, Ruan Zhizhi spent two full days without stopping to eat or sleep to write her press release at home.

The coffee on the computer desk was already her fifth cup, and Ruan Zhizhi was typing on the keyboard swiftly with both hands, the somewhat damaged diary spread out on the side.

She could not see light or warmth in this diary. The young girl’s depression and despair hid the sky and covered the earth.

On the keyboard, Ruan Zhizhi typed the final period. Immediately after, she heard the ringtone of her cell phone. To her surprise, it turned out to be a call from Gu Nian.

Ruan Zhizhi kneaded the space between her eyebrows and answered the phone, “Long time no see, ah, Eldest Miss. How was your honeymoon?”

On the other end of the phone, Gu Nian’s voice was as lovable and charming as always: “Spectacularly perfect, Fengjin and I went to see the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Statue of Liberty in New York, and the sunny beaches in Bali. This month has passed the pinnacle of beauty and perfection in my life.”

Hearing the happiness that could not be concealed in her tone, Ruan Zhizhi immediately laughed: “It’s good that you’re happy. Happy marriage.”

Wishing that you live together until the white hairs of old age, always bound together with one mind.

“Aiya, I didn’t call you to talk about this.” Gu Nian seemed to realize that she had strayed from the topic and quickly switched the subject. “Zhizhi, I heard that you rejected Li Sichen’s confession, is this true or false? Others don’t know, but I know very well. Back then, you liked him so much that you hovered between life and death. How come you’re actually so ruthless in rejecting him now?”

Ruan Zhizhi was stunned. It took her a long time to answer. “It’s not like you don’t know. Since the day I returned to China, there wasn’t a possibility of me being with Li Sichen in this life.”

Gu Nian sighed. “Anyway, it’s also okay to refuse. There’s too much of a past between you and Li Sichen, and even if you were together, you would not necessarily be happy. Actually, what I told you before, have you properly considered it? In my eyes, Shi Yan really is a perfect romantic partner. Firstly, he’s handsome. Secondly, he’s rich. Finally, I’ve worked with him for many years. He’s always maintained the image of being single with zero scandals, not to mention how clean-living and honest he is.” She paused here, then continued tentatively, “Zhizhi, I know that you’re a little timid with your feelings now, and that you’re afraid to get hurt. But it’s exactly because I know you so well that I feel like a person such as Shi Yan, who’s above the common man, is most suitable for you.”

The atmosphere was so quiet that only the sound of the clock ticking by on the wall could be heard. One second, two seconds, three seconds.

“I know he’s good to me. I just think that if I only care about my own experiences, it isn’t fair to him.”

She knew that Shi Yan liked her very much. The way he looked at her was like he wished to give her the entire world. 

But she asked herself honestly, Ruan Zhizhi, are you truly able to like Shi Yan like he likes you? If you can’t…isn’t it better to keep being friends for the time being?

Gu Nian obviously didn’t think so: “I’m telling you Zhizhi, it’s just a relationship. There’s no need to think so much. People, they all need to live in the moment. If you don’t give it a try, how will you know what the outcome is? Who knows, maybe after you get together, you will discover that the two of you are very compatible, and your emotions will become deeper and deeper.”

……

Could it be like that?

After the phone call with Gu Nian, Ruan Zhizhi sank into an endless daze.

She recalled many, many things.

The first time they saw each other at the café, he was ahead of her and happened to buy the last macarons in the shop. Later, on the bus during their trip to Yunnan, he generously gave her a candy.

That night at the bar in Lijiang, he casually gave her a paper rose. Since then, every day and every night, she always kept it in the pocket of her down jacket. As if the demons and gods were at work, she hadn’t thrown it away.

Later, they returned to City A. On New Year’s Eve, due to an unexpected turn of events, they met by chance on the street. In order to express her thanks to him for taking care of her during the trip, she invited him to a really shabby dinner. The two of them happened to enjoy the fireworks that spanned the whole sky together.

The other day, there was a heavy downpour of rain. He insisted on giving her the umbrella in his hand. Alone, he walked into the curtain of rain, his back quiet and desolate.

In the hospital, her complexion was as pale as paper. When she was dizzy, he woke her up, handed her a cup of brown sugar water, and even bandaged her wound properly.

Two days ago at the interview scene, amongst the crowd, he reached out and held her for the first time. His cold voice fell into her ears, over and over again, like a demon of temptation. She couldn’t forget it.

……

There were still many, many more instances. Only by recollecting them one by one, could she realize that the man with an indifferent temperament and sombre appearance had already invested all his sincerity to be in contact with her, bit by bit.

Ruan Zhizhi, who initially thought her heart was still like water, seemed to hear a thawing sound for a split second. 

She thought, maybe she really should give herself a chance. A chance to have happiness.

Ruan Zhizhi sat like this on the carpet, reflecting on life. After making a decision, she finally felt light from head to toe. The feelings of constraint and helplessness during this period of time suddenly vanished like smoke.

She stood up from the carpet and moved her limbs, feeling a little empty in her stomach. She didn’t feel like wearing a jacket, so she directly wore a sweater dress, grabbed her wallet, and went downstairs to look for food.

The entire way, she hummed a song and walked down the stairs in a good mood. Ruan Zhizhi planned it in her heart. The next time she saw Shi Yan, she would tell him that she had already thought about it, and wanted to be together with him. 

That evening, the moonlight was very good, as tranquil and gentle as water. The stars filling the entire sky twinkled as if they were talking to her. Ruan Zhizhi walked on the road at a relaxed pace. Because she hadn’t worn a coat when coming out, she felt a slight chill, so she decided not to go far and just find something to eat near the neighbourhood.

It was almost nine o’clock already. At this time, there weren’t many people coming out to have a meal, and the snack vendors on either side of the street were nearly closing. Ruan Zhizhi searched for a while and finally saw a sticky rice ball shop that was still open.

There were not many people coming out to eat at this time, and the food stalls on both sides of the street were almost closed. Ruan Zhizhi searched for a while, and finally saw a glutinous rice ball shop that was still open. With delight in her heart, she quickened her pace and walked in. 

Inside, the shop owner was busy putting on gloves at the dining table. There were two other people standing in a queue aside from her. It seemed that she had made it in time. Ruan Zhizhi made up her mind and decided to stand at the end of the line. 

When she joined the line, the boss glanced up at her and showed a candid smile: “Little girl, you came at the right time, there’s enough glutinous rice left for one last rice ball.”

“It seems that I’m quite lucky.” Ruan Zhizhi also smiled, and habitually asked the boss to put meat floss and sausage in it. When it was finally done, the other party kindly wrapped a duck egg yolk in the rice ball for free.

After Ruan Zhizhi paid the money and left the shop with a nice, warm rice ball in hand, she felt that today was actually a really beautiful day.

She walked out and returned to the neighbourhood along her original path. At this moment, the number of people on the road were gradually becoming sparse. There were only some office workers walking their dogs home, young couples who had gone out for a date, and occasionally, she could also see the elderly going for a walk while leaning on their canes.

A large fire truck with flashing red lights hurtled down the middle of the street as fast as lightning, whirling up dust. Ruan Zhizhi stood to the side of the pedestrian walkway, then felt a little cold and pulled down the cuffs of her sweater dress.

The night scenery became peaceful again. Only the quiet sound of footsteps remained. Ruan Zhizhi carried the rice ball in her embrace and reached an intersection. The light just happened to turn from green to red. She wasn’t in a hurry, so she followed the crowd to stop and wait patiently.

Five seconds, four seconds, three seconds—

Ruan Zhizhi yawned and lifted her head, casually glancing across the street. In the next second, her line of sight couldn’t help but freeze.

Shi Yan’s figure…she wasn’t having blurred vision and seeing wrong, right?

At this moment, the moon was bright and the stars were sparse. The man across the street from her was wearing a pure white letterman jacket. Tall and slender, his back carried a faint sense of alienation as he quietly walked alone.

Under the dim yellow streetlights, the outline of his side profile was as lonely as a flower on a cliff, dangerous yet infatuating.

It seemed like he was about to go far. Ruan Zhizhi suddenly felt a little impetuous in her heart. Before the indicator light turned green, she couldn’t help taking a step.

Walking through the tide of people that pressed her like a current, every step seemed incredibly difficult. But for some reason, the desire to see him became all the more stronger.

At last, crowded all the way to the opposite side of the road, Ruan Zhizhi suddenly didn’t dare to look up at this time, for fear that the familiar back had already disappeared from the vast crowd.

Just when she was at a loss, without warning, a slender and graceful hand stretched out in front of her, quietly placed before her eyes. As soon as her heart moved, Ruan Zhizhi held the hand subconsciously without raising her head. 

The fingertips were ice-cold, and it only got a little warm when it spread to the hollow of the palm.

Then she lifted her head a little bit, and the man’s extremely cold brows and eyes came into view: “You always panic when crossing the road.”

He was not surprised at all when he looked at her, as if in the fleeting prosperity of the city, they ought to meet.

Ruan Zhizhi stared at him without blinking. Just when she was about to say something, the tip of her nose suddenly itched, and in the next second she sneezed uncontrollably. 

Shi Yan frowned. He pulled her to the inner edge of the sidewalk. Then, without the slightest hesitation, he took off his letterman jacket and draped it over her. As if he felt that simply covering her was still not enough, he took the sleeves of the jacket and began to cover her arms in them. 

A little confused, Ruan Zhizhi put on his jacket in accordance with his actions. Bowing her head, she saw Shi Yan bend his waist, align the zipper, and pull it all the way up until her chin was tightly wrapped.

The two happened to be standing at a milk tea shop. Shi Yan turned his head and glanced at it. Without saying anything, he went over quite naturally and ordered a cup of warm milk for her.

Ruan Zhizhi stood there and looked at him from a shoulder away. Happiness surged through her like a tidal wave in that moment. 

Shi Yan grasped a cup of hot milk in his hand and turned around. The hot steam from the milk smothered his features, indistinct as if looking at flowers in the fog. Only a pair of dark, shining eyes remained. They resembled flames, burning her rationality to nothing.

She felt that tonight’s Shi Yan was especially charming. Or perhaps it was because she had finally let down her guard.

“Shi Yan, right now I’m going to say some things, you just answer me, okay?” She pursed her lips, seeming to speak with determination.

Shi Yan placed the cup of hot milk in her hands to keep her warm and hummed without emotion. 

Ruan Zhizhi took a deep breath and said very solemnly, “Right now, say that you like me.”

The other party didn’t blink and replied without hesitation: “I like you.”

“Say that it has to be me.”

“In all my life it can only be you.”

“Say that you want me to be your girlfriend.”

At the moment when Ruan Zhizhi’s voice fell, there was a dazzling silence between heaven and earth. Her eyes were fixed on Shi Yan. Her voice had trembled slightly when she spoke, but she stubbornly refused to back down.

Crowds of people surged around them, the city was ablaze with lights, and yet he didn’t realize it. His pupils seemed particularly bright under the light, and he almost drowned her with his ardency:

“Ruan Zhizhi, give me the chance. Let me be your boyfriend.”

She heard this and smiled softly like a butterfly, then replied very simply: “Okay, I promise you.”