Chapter 27: Morning Run

It was already late at night when Ruan Zhizhi returned home. As usual, she turned on the light, changed her shoes at the entrance, and entered the bathroom. After washing up, she wanted to go to bed and sleep. But once she thought about it, she walked to her desk and opened the last drawer on the right, taking out a thick diary with a combination lock. 

Inside, it recorded all of the time she had spent with Li Sichen.

Those days of loving but not being allowed to, of tossing and turning restlessly every night.

Ruan Zhizhi looked page by page. Although she understood in her heart that she no longer had any surplus feelings for him, she still couldn’t help sighing a little.

Sure enough, time was the sharpest weapon. Those things that she once thought were profound and unforgettable were now smoothed out one by one.

She lightly turned to the last page, which was what she had written on the first night of the new year: Li Sichen, this year I won’t like you anymore.

With a slight movement of her fingertips, she took the pen clipped on the title page of the notebook and added another sentence:

2016/03/28

Li Sichen, thank you for appearing once again after being separated for so many years. It made me suddenly realize that it was not what I thought before, that there would be a response if I kept you in mind constantly. It was simply that I was unreconciled to those youthful years I paid. 

After so many years, I can finally let go of you and the past. 

I hope you will live well from now on.

Ruan Zhizhi closed the diary and put it back in its unremarkable drawer. After that, she turned off the desk lamp and got into her warm bedding.

That night, she had a dream.

In her dream, she went back to the spring break of her third year of university. At that time, she, Li Sichen, Gu Nian, and Cheng Fengjin went to a well-known beach in Santa Monica, California. 

The night was very deep, and there were rows of seals reclining on the reefs by the coast. With their bellies exposed, they rested comfortably and occasionally let out a content bark or two.

There were tourists everywhere on the beach, the impenetrable crowd surrounding them. They were also among them.

Next to her, she didn’t know what Cheng Fengjin had said to Gu Nian, but from the exchange Gu Nian burst into loud laughter, completely disregarding her appearance. The two laughed and played along the shore, gradually running into the distance.

Ruan Zhizhi watched them with a little envy. Then, she gazed back at Li Sichen beside her, pretending to casually chat with him while carefully concealing her heart full of love.

Behind her, there was another man standing far away. He was alone, standing silently and somberly in the darkness, out of place compared to the others. 

In Ruan Zhizhi’s original memory, she hadn’t seen this man on the trip. But for some reason, in her current dream, she saw him distinctly.

He stood very quietly in the dark, watching her sweet nervousness when facing another man. His black eyes were so deep, one could not see the bottom.

Such cold and fathomless eyes were clearly Shi Yan’s features.

When Ruan Zhizhi woke up with a start from the dream, the cell phone beside her bed happened to ring just at that time. 

She shook her head, her heart still beating a little violently as she picked up the phone.

“Have you gotten up?”

His voice was clear with a hint of hoarseness, and he spoke in a very tender tone.

Ruan Zhizhi paused while holding the phone. Dazed, she suddenly began to wonder if this was another dream.

The grim Shi Yan from her dream and the gentle Shi Yan on the other end of the phone gradually fused together.

She bit her lip and tried her best to keep her voice serene: “Not yet…”

The man on the other end laughed softly. His tone was as if he expected so. “Then get up now, and in half an hour I’ll wait for you at A University’s sports field.”

“What are we going to the sports field for?” Ruan Zhizhi blinked, somewhat suspicious.

“To run.” The man’s voice remained calm and unhurried. “Ruan Zhizhi, your physical fitness is really poor. In order to prevent an accident like what happened in the hospital last time, I believe it’s necessary for you to persist in running every morning to enhance your health.”

Ruan Zhizhi subconsciously wanted to turn down this proposal: “But I haven’t passed the physical education test from junior high school to university.”

“So, if you want to work hard to compensate for your limited abilities, so long as you persevere, you will pass the test one day.”

Ruan Zhizhi: ……

His words made sense, but she was left speechless.

The sky was faintly bright. After Ruan Zhizhi washed up, she rummaged through her wardrobe but couldn’t find a relaxed pair of exercise pants. In the end, without any better option, she settled for a pair of tight jeans with good elasticity.

She casually put on a white, tasselled sweater. Walking to the mirror in the bathroom, she saw her simple and pale face. After thinking about it, she put on a bean paste-coloured lipstick, seriously drew her eyebrows, then carefully traced a thin line of eyeliner. 

At the entrance, she changed into a pair of white sneakers. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, she attentively studied her reflection to confirm that she had dressed well. Then, she shouldered her bookbag and left the house satisfied.

Half an hour later, Ruan Zhizhi arrived at A University on time. When she entered the campus dressed in jeans and sneakers, as well as a bookbag on her back, she was pleased to find that she and the other university students didn’t seem to have a sense of discrepancy. 

After all, at the age of twenty-five, in the eyes of these young people, it was estimated that they regarded her as an auntie.

A University’s large sports field had neat rows of Chinese parasol trees planted on either side. Sunshine filtered through the gaps of the trees, sprinkling shadows over the tartan track.

Ruan Zhizhi hadn’t seen a school’s sports field for quite a few years. Seeing this kind of red tartan track, the first thing that came to mind was that when she was in high school, she would rank last in the class every time there was an eight-hundred metre run. Even if she did a makeup exam, there was nothing she could do to finish the run on time. Ultimately, the teacher also couldn’t do anything. During physical education class, she was asked to help her fellow classmates pick up the balls. In short, she tried her hardest at every opportunity to increase her capacity for exercise.

She used to think that sort of life was hell, and every day she dreamt of running away from the shackles of school and stepping into social independence earlier. But thinking about it now, those years of attending school were the happiest and most relaxing period of her life. 

Ruan Zhizhi had just walked up to the edge of the track when she saw a place not far away. That familiar person was dressed in fresh, neat sportswear. Currently, he was leaning casually on the pillar of the flag-raising platform, his dark eyes gazing into the distance.

Taking a closer look, there were flames leaping at the man’s fingertips like it was nothing.

He actually smoked on the flag-raising platform at school in such an open and unselfconscious manner. 

He was simply a twisted teacher of the people.

The corners of her lips twitched. She was just about to walk in his direction when she saw a young and pretty girl quickly run to Shi Yan’s side.

She subconsciously halted her steps.

Before she had time to ponder over it, Ruan Zhizhi promptly leaned into the shadow of the Chinese parasol tree beside her, stealing glances at their movements like a thief.

She saw that the girl at Shi Yan’s side seemed a little at a loss. The girl secretly looked up at him, then began to speak with an extremely careful expression. “Professor Shi, can I ask you a question?”

Shi Yan lifted his eyes indifferently without nodding or shaking his head.

The girl took a brief moment to relax. After that, she spoke in a pressing tone: “May I ask if you have a girlfriend right now?”

Shi Yan shook his head.

As if receiving enormous morale, the girl looked at him, her eyes sparkling. “Then, do you need a girlfriend? Graduate student, 1.7 metres tall, regular features, and no bad habits. The kind that can even do laundry, cook, clean, and is hygienic.”

Ruan Zhizhi sighed. She mistakenly thought that the girl was there to remind him that smoking was not allowed in the public areas on campus.

Shi Yan didn’t even lift his eyelids this time. His voice was cold and emotionless: “Unfortunately, I like the kind that is about 1.65 metres and can’t do laundry or cook.”

Ruan Zhizhi, who was eavesdropping in the dark, was stunned for a moment. This was clearly mocking her.

She didn’t know the four arts, and she was tired of doing the laundry and cooking.

The girl was also stunned for a second. “Professor Shi, are you joking with me?”

“No.” Shi Yan straightened up from the pillar and raised his chin in Ruan Zhizhi’s direction. “There, just like her.”

In an instant, it was like Ruan Zhizhi had been struck by lightning. So he had already discovered her a long time ago? With black lines, she recalled it. She felt that her behaviour of hiding and eavesdropping right in front of the other party’s eyes was simply too stupid.

The girl had already left with a face full of disappointment, while Ruan Zhizhi went over step by step. She moved extremely slowly until she finally stood beside him. 

As if wanting to retrieve some face, Ruan Zhizhi opened her mouth and said very solemnly, “Shi Yan, smoking is prohibited in public areas. As a university professor, you need to set an example and not bring a negative influence to the students.”

“Oh.” He nodded nonchalantly. Then, with a lazy attitude, he pinched the cigarette butt and threw it into the trash can.

His movements flowed smoothly in one go.

Ruan Zhizhi: ……

She didn’t expect him to be so obedient.

Shi Yan reached out and handed a hot food box from the side to her: “Eat breakfast first, then go for a run.”

Ruan Zhizhi obediently received it, opened it, and began to eat unhurriedly.

The two sat side by side on the flag raising stage. She took a bite of breakfast while Shi Yan sat beside her and watched her quietly.

Occasionally, there were students who came to the sports field for a morning jog. Many greeted Shi Yan. Naturally, the expressions on their faces when glancing at her were a myriad of extreme astonishment. Ruan Zhizhi looked down, pretending to ignore them at all costs.

Holding the piping hot box of chicken wontons, Ruan Zhizhi puffed her lips and asked him a little curiously, “Shi Yan, has someone like you been an influential figure in school since childhood? Especially popular, the kind that people follow wherever they go.”

Shi Yan didn’t reply, as if he was recalling something. His dark eyes seemed to seep with ink at the moment, making it even more difficult to approach him. “No, I didn’t have any friends during my student days.”

She choked upon hearing his reply. Ruan Zhizhi rolled her eyes and didn’t really believe it. “Don’t lie to me, people like you must have had a great deal of friends.”

Shi Yan held out his hand and lit another cigarette, replying in a neither light nor heavy tone, “Ruan Zhizhi, I’ve really never had friends since I was a child. You were the first person who took the initiative to reach out to me. You saved me, and therefore I can’t live without you. For this reason, it doesn’t matter how long I wait.”

In the morning breeze, his voice was faint and very light, mingling with the scent of tobacco that drifted into the air. Soon, there was no trace of it.

The atmosphere fell into silence. Ruan Zhizhi bit the wonton in her mouth. She really wasn’t able to make sense of the meaning of his words, but she sensed the solemnity and loneliness in his tone, and she knew that she should not ask more at this time. 

Shi Yan was a person with a story. Moreover, it was a very sad story.

Ruan Zhizhi suddenly thought that she had the responsibility to let Shi Yan walk out of the darkness and into the splendid light. 

Because for a long time now, he had been by her side, playing the role of a patron saint. 

She should also bring him some happiness.

Thus, she cleared her throat and said in an energetic voice, “Shi Yan, I’m finished eating, let’s go for a run!”

When Shi Yan heard these words, he glanced down at his watch and was immediately ready to follow her. “There’s only one hour left before you have to go to work, so let’s run five laps today.”

Five laps?! When she ran eight-hundred metres before in high school, it was only four and a half laps. 

Ruan Zhizhi’s face collapsed instantly, and her tone was full of despair. “You’re killing me.”

The other party smiled. It was a very mild and beautiful smile, and mixed with the gentle morning wind, it blew all the way to the bottom tip of her heart.

When he smiled, she couldn’t help herself. Her mind was unclear.

“I’ll run with you.”

After the man finished speaking, he took the lead in running over from her side. His movements were neither fast nor slow, and his posture when he set out was calm and graceful. He ran a few steps forward, then turned around and beckoned to her. 

Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help laughing and lifted her legs to catch up.

He was using all possible means to achieve the same end with her.

Translator’s Note: Ruan Zhizhi seems to have a skewed perspective about her age…Those university kids aren’t that much younger than her, I don’t see how they’d think of her as an auntie :’)