CH 22

Chapter 22: Brown Sugar Water

Perhaps she was too exhausted from work these days, as well as uneasy about her personal matters every day, for Ruan Zhizhi felt dizzy when she woke up early that morning. She couldn’t even stand steadily. 

Aware that she was severely anaemic, Ruan Zhizhi pressed her temple with one hand and slowly got off the bed to walk into the living room. She wanted to take a few red dates from the coffee table and eat them first.

She didn’t expect that, due to her dizziness, she would accidentally knock into the corner of the coffee table after taking a few steps. Without thinking, she reached out to block it, only for a piercing pain to arrive in the next second. 

This time, Ruan Zhizhi was thoroughly awake. She shook her head then looked down. Sure enough, a deep cut had been slashed in the palm of her hand by the glass table’s sharp corner. Blood seeped out of it gradually. Ruan Zhizhi frowned, trying hard to endure the urge to cry out in pain. Taking a deep breath, she began to try and treat the cut.

She was used to living alone. Normally, she could deal with some small bumps on her own. It’s just…Ruan Zhizhi used tincture of iodine to disinfect the wound while bandaging her palm with a shaking hand to staunch the bleeding. After trying for quite a while, she gave up.

This time the wound was a little deep. It seemed she would have to make a trip to the hospital. 

Putting on any coat, Ruan Zhizhi didn’t even have time to apply lipstick. In this way, just as she was, she left the door.

When Ruan Zhizhi reached City A’s most well-known military hospital, the deep pain was already unbearable. She grit her teeth and exhausted all her strength with every step she took. Just like this, she used all her willpower to register at the hospital and lined up by herself. When she finally managed to see a doctor, her lips were completely bloodless.

The doctor in the consulting room, who was dressed in a white coat and writing something with his head down, was obviously stunned when he saw her. He immediately got up and let her sit down: “What’s the matter, your complexion is so bad?”

“Doctor, nothing’s the matter. I just accidentally cut a gash in my hand this morning and there’s some blood coming out. I usually have a little anaemia, which is why my complexion seems so bad now.” Ruan Zhizhi sat across from the doctor solemnly, weakly elaborating on her condition.

The doctor quickly arranged for staff to bind her wound to stop the bleeding. After the wound was treated properly, Ruan Zhizhi left the consulting room. However, she still felt her vision was a little fuzzy. Helpless, she could only go to the rest area outside the consulting room door to rest for a little first. 

This was indeed an unlucky year.

Ruan Zhizhi shrank her neck into her turtleneck sweater. The piercing pain in her palm was gradually dulling, but since she hadn’t replenished enough sugar, her brain was still dizzy.

Leaning against the cold hospital seat, Ruan Zhizhi bit her lower lip and began to think about whether or not to call Gu Nian for support. Her cell phone was already in her hands, but she had second thoughts after thinking about how it was currently Gu Nian’s honeymoon period. In the end, she decided not to disturb her. 

“It’s alright, just sleep for a moment.”

Doing her own thing, she lowered her head and comforted herself. Her emotional state became heavier and heavier. In the end, Ruan Zhizhi buried her head in her collar, unable to control her muddle-headed drowsiness. 

It was unknown how much time passed—

“Zhizhi, wake up.”

It was as if someone was calling her over and over. The voice was low with a tinge of huskiness. The tone was originally calm, but became more and more anxious at her unresponsiveness. 

Ruan Zhizhi creased her eyebrows. Within that person’s voice, she shifted her body somewhat unwillingly. After that, she gradually opened her eyes.

Her line of sight was still vague. Before she could raise her head, she saw someone putting a glass of brown sugar water in front of her. Licking her dry lips, Ruan Zhizhi reached out to hold the glass. She drained the cup of warm brown sugar water without a second thought.

“Feeling better?”

It was still that same voice, only this time it was more clear.

Ruan Zhizhi put down the glass. Her vision extended a little upward, meandering all the way from the man’s dark blue jeans until they finally settled on the pair of pitch-black pupils she knew well.

Those eyes had always been indifferent, but when they gazed at her now, there was a faint trace of concern.

Ruan Zhizhi looked at the familiar appearance of this man. In a trance, she couldn’t tell whether she was actually in a dream or reality. 

After a long time, she opened her mouth to speak. Her voice was still very weak: “Shi Yan, why are you here?”

The man before her eyes had dark hair and wore a white sweater and jeans. He didn’t look at all like a twenty-eight-year-old university professor. Anyone who saw him would think that he was a university student with a refined appearance.

Shi Yan stared at her complexion for a while, then bent down. Half-crouching in front of her, he took out a tangerine-flavoured fruit candy from his pocket, peeled off the wrapping paper, and put it to her mouth: “Eat candy.”

His movements of tearing the candy wrapper were gentle, and his voice was even more gentle when facing her. He was so gentle that the rims of her eyes were almost sour.

“Thank you.” There wasn’t a soul in sight in the rest area. Ruan Zhizhi bowed her head as she expressed her thanks, trying her best to control the choked sobs in her voice.

Shi Yan didn’t respond. He simply stretched out his hand and stroked her hair very softly. After a long time, he whispered, “After you finish, I’ll take you home.”

A faint hint of tobacco that was impossible to get rid of remained on his fingers. His palm dropped to the top of her head. It was warm.

Ruan Zhizhi thought that at certain moments, being able to have someone by her side really made her dependent on them.

She hadn’t depended on anyone for a long time.

After downing a whole cup of brown sugar water, as well as finishing the fruit candy in her mouth, Ruan Zhizhi lifted a hand and pressed her temple. She finally felt a little more conscious and clear-headed.

Shi Yan’s line of sight fell on the bandaged wound on her left hand. Then he reached out and took her medical record: “I’m going to help you get the medicine now, you wait for me here.” After a pause, he added a warning in a very light tone: “Be good, don’t run around.”

“Okay.” She nodded subconsciously until Shi Yan’s figure walked into the distance. Ruan Zhizhi stayed in place, reaching out to touch the remaining warmth of the drinking glass. She felt that everything was all too surreal. 

He still appeared when she was in need.

As if it was fate.

Shi Yan drove her home. The two didn’t speak the entire way.

He looked straight ahead and seriously concentrated on driving. Ruan Zhizhi sat quietly in the passenger seat, her mind in chaos.

At this time, she wondered whether she had folded the quilt in her bedroom before going out this morning, and whether the tabletop in the living room had been tidied.

However, by the time the door was opened and Shi Yan was brought in, Ruan Zhizhi discovered to her despair that the living room was in a complete mess. There was even a white bra on the sofa that she had brought in from the balcony that morning, but had no time to put away.

Ruan Zhizhi: “…My home is a little messy, don’t mind it.”

Shi Yan’s eyes gazed at the conspicuous bra that seemed flimsy and petite. He retracted his line of sight, glancing meaningfully at the area of her chest.

Ruan Zhizhi: “……”

Consciously changing into a pair of slippers at the entrance, Shi Yan walked into the living room. Obviously it was his first time coming to her home, but each and every move seemed more familiar than hers. He walked all the way to the water dispenser outside the kitchen and poured a glass of warm water, then took out the medicine prescribed by the doctor from the medicine bag. He handed them to Ruan Zhizhi together: “This is an anti-inflammatory drug and painkiller. Three times a day, one tablet at a time. Remember to take them on schedule.”

Unable to look up at him, Ruan Zhizhi extended her hand to take the medicine and warm water. At the same time, she silently pondered over whether Shi Yan’s current behaviour meant that he had already forgiven her for missing their appointment last time.

“Also, the doctor told me just now that your dressing needs to be changed today.” Shi Yan looked around the room, then raised his eyebrows at her and said, “Sit down on the sofa.”

“Ah? Now?” Ruan Zhizhi was a little confused.

“Yes, now.” Once the man finished responding, he saw the medicine box that was placed on the coffee table before going out that morning. He walked over and began preparing for the dressing change.

Sitting passively on the sofa, Ruan Zhizhi watched him prepare gauze in a series of skillful movements. She inexplicably felt that this place seemed more like his home. 

Shi Yan made preparations for the dressing change, then turned around. He knelt on one knee on the cold floor and softly placed her injured left hand on his knee. 

“In a moment when the cut is touched, it might hurt a little. Bear with it.”

Ruan Zhizhi bowed her head to look at him. Shi Yan’s eyelashes were very long, drooping down meekly. They covered most of his eyes, making his gaze seem even more unfathomable. Looking at him this way, through the sunlight pouring in from the balcony, his skin looked very bright. It made the whole person seem even more unreal.

Time seemed to stand still at this moment. Ruan Zhizhi looked down at him, and for a second she forgot the pain from her cut.

Perhaps, at this time, Shi Yan was the very best painkiller. 

The man carefully disinfected the wound with tincture of iodine, then wrapped the gauze around her palm with light, unhurried motions. Lastly, he tied a beautiful knot at the wrist. “Tomorrow evening, remember to change the dressing to avoid your cut getting infected.”

As soon as his voice fell, Ruan Zhizhi was about to say something when she heard the phone in her jacket pocket ring urgently.

Her heart thudded. Ruan Zhizhi slowly took the phone out of her pocket with her other hand. As expected, the name from the caller ID was Li Sichen.

Shi Yan stood up straight, as if he hadn’t seen anything. Then, he walked directly to the balcony.

Was this giving her private space to answer the phone?

Ruan Zhizhi pursed her lips and put the call through.

“Zhizhi, I can come back the day after tomorrow. Have you had any problems by yourself these past few days?”

Li Sichen’s voice was still as lukewarm as always. Ruan Zhizhi glanced down at her tightly bandaged left hand. She hesitated for a few seconds, but still answered. “There’s nothing, everything is fine.”

“Then I can feel at ease. Wait for me to come back, I’ll take you to eat delicious food. You’re really too thin right now, you need to quickly eat until you’re a little plump. Otherwise, when we’re walking on the road, I’ll always worry that you’ll be blown away by the wind in the next second.”

On the other end of the phone, Li Sichen was still chattering. Every sentence contained concern for her, but in Ruan Zhizhi’s ears, there was no way he could be as wholehearted as she was three years ago.

“Li Sichen, you…you better not be too good to me.” She paused, then continued. “I’m afraid I can’t give you the answer you want.”

The voice on the other end of the phone was slightly startled, but he quickly replied with a smile: “What nonsense are you saying, I am completely willing to treat you well. Zhizhi, you waited for me for four years, and now it’s my turn to wait for you. This is very fair, there’s nothing to feel guilty about.”

……

After hanging up the phone, the relaxed mood that Ruan Zhizhi had attained with great difficulty became heavy again. 

If she couldn’t respond to him with the same feelings, then perhaps this predestined relationship should have been cut off earlier. 

After all, it should have been cut off three years ago.

Ruan Zhizhi got up from the sofa and walked to the balcony step by step. She wasn’t surprised to see Shi Yan facing her, leaning on the wall to smoke. 

His side profile outlined delicate contours in the sun, and the scattered hair on his forehead fell down casually. Smoke curled up before his eyes, which were as dejected and dreary as always, as if isolated from the rest of the world.

For some reason, Ruan Zhizhi suddenly really wanted to persuade him to quit smoking. But she quickly resisted this impulse. She knew very clearly in her heart that for Shi Yan, smoking was like a painkiller that could temporarily relieve the pain. Until a better alternative was found, there was no way to give up.

She didn’t know what she should say, so she could only stand beside him like this. The atmosphere was awfully still, and it seemed that even the air circulation slowed down for a split second.

After a long time, Shi Yan finally spoke: “Is he not treating you well?”

Who was ‘he’? Was it…Li Sichen?

Not knowing how to answer, Ruan Zhizhi raised her head to look at him, only to see the man extinguish his cigarette butt indifferently. He threw it into the garbage bin on the balcony with accuracy. “You went to the hospital, why didn’t he accompany you?”

Her brain crashed. Ruan Zhizhi was stunned for a moment before realizing that Shi Yan might have misunderstood her relationship with Li Sichen. She didn’t know why, but her heart felt somewhat irritable. Without thinking, she immediately opened her mouth to explain: “Between Li Sichen and I—”

But the next half of her sentence was broken off by the other party before she could finish. Shi Yan turned his body to look at her. Every word and every sentence was incredibly clear: “Ruan Zhizhi, if he treated you badly three years ago and treats you badly three years later, why can’t your eyes just look at other people?”

Translator’s Note: I’m forever laughing whenever I have to translate that Shi Yan accurately threw his cigarette into the garbage. Every time there’s a scene where he’s smoking, he always ‘throws the cigarette into the trash can accurately’. Like how convenient that there’s always a garbage when he wants to throw it away!! But also I respect the author for lowkey demonstrating not to litter…