CH 11

Chapter 11: University Schoolmate

Walking side-by-side with Shi Yan on the way to the third teaching building, Ruan Zhizhi deeply suspected that her decision just now was a mistake. She shouldn’t have let Shi Yan bring her here, because…at that moment, wherever they walked, the eyes of passersby pierced her heart like a knife.

Ruan Zhizhi looked down, trying to feign the appearance that everything was natural and normal. Shi Yan’s pace wasn’t fast. It was as if he was afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. The outline of his side profile was extremely refined, and there was always a faint hint of tobacco on his body.

When they turned into the third teaching building, they had to walk through a confined area in the corridor. There weren’t any lights. The space was sealed tight; not even a beam of light could penetrate it. It was cramped and oppressive.

In an instant, her body became incredibly tense. Due to the circuit failure incident at her university before, Ruan Zhizhi was now a little claustrophobic. Although it wasn’t severe, it was enough to make her uneasy at this moment.

She walked slowly and with difficulty. Beads of sweat dripped from her forehead.

Suddenly, a hand stretched out beside her and gently held her wrist.

Regarding her current relationship with Shi Yan, this was a very safe move. He didn’t take her hand or put an arm around her. He simply held her wrist politely and at a distance, as if empathizing with her fear.

“Are you really scared?” In the darkness, his voice was restrained, heavy, and a little husky.

Ruan Zhizhi nodded, then subconsciously added: “When I was studying in university, I was doing a dangerous experiment in the laboratory. There was a sudden circuit failure and the door was locked, so I couldn’t get out. The other students and I were trapped inside for hours. So now, whenever I’m in an airtight space, I have some psychological resistance.”

The other party’s grip on her wrist faltered for a moment. After a long time, he suddenly let out a light laugh. While laughing, he softly whispered as if thinking out loud, “So you still remember.”

She was unable to hear what he’d said clearly. Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help turning her head to look at him. In the dimly lit space, she vaguely caught sight of the mild smile on the corners of his lips. It passed before her in an instant.

Shi Yan walked a little bit ahead of her, his grasp on her wrist neither light nor heavy. The two walked slowly in this way. For some reason, Ruan Zhizhi actually felt somewhat at ease.

To her surprise, following behind him made her feel safe.

After passing through the corridor and walking all the way to the door of Gu Nian’s office, Ruan Zhizhi stood still, thinking of how to say goodbye to him in a way that appeared polite and warm. 

Shi Yan was standing across from her. He was very tall in stature. At this moment, he lowered his eyes to watch her. There was an undercurrent in his ink-black pupils that surged up violently. His emotions were unclear.

Amidst the silence, he approached. He reached out and gently rubbed her face.

She immediately felt the blood in her body coagulate. Ruan Zhizhi froze in place, her eyes widening stiffly.

But the man who had just performed such an intimate gesture merely raised his hand and explained lightly, “There was dust.”

…Was it from just now in the corridor?

A faint tobacco scent from his fingers remained on her cheek. Ruan Zhizhi calmed down and felt that her reaction just now caused her to lose a little face.

Shi Yan retreated a few steps back, looked at her with his head tilted, and seemed to ask casually, “The person you mentioned before, do you still like him?”

She was confused for a few seconds. After a while, Ruan Zhizhi finally realized Shi Yan’s meaning. Previously on Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, she had told Chen Jiayan that she already had someone she liked. Shi Yan was also present at the time. 

She raised her head to meet his gaze. There was a moment of silence. In the end, she still nodded.

Feeling a little embarrassed, Ruan Zhizhi reached out to smooth her hair, then also followed offhandedly, “And you? Do you still like her even now?”

Shi Yan was silent. He lowered his gaze to look at her. A pair of dark, beautiful eyes flickered on and off, and after a while, he nodded and said yes. 

The two bid each other a polite farewell once again. Ruan Zhizhi stood there and watched him walk away step by step. Under the sun, the shadow he cast on the ground was pulled into a long, thin line. Every time he said goodbye, his back seemed lonely and desolate.

“Aiya, Zhizhi you’re here. Go, go, go, I’ll treat you to morning tea. A new place just opened near A University. My colleague told me that it’s especially good. In a bit, there’ll be a lineup for lunch.” Gu Nian had just packed up her things and was walking out of the office when she saw Ruan Zhizhi standing at the door. She energetically came over and pulled her away.

Ruan Zhizhi absentmindedly followed her all the way through the gates of A University. The Hong Kong-style tea house was indeed very close. It was only a block away from the university.

It was a little after ten o’clock in the morning. The restaurant seemed to have just opened for business. Led by a waiter, the two directly walked inside and chose a good seat by the window.

Gu Nian had just finished a class. Now she was so hungry that her chest was sticking to her back. She took the menu and ordered everything in a disarray as usual. It wasn’t at all the amount that two girls could finish. 

Ruan Zhizhi, who was sitting across from her, sighed exasperatedly. “My eldest miss, your habit of wasting food has not changed at all since university.”

Although Gu Nian’s household was only an ordinary, moderately affluent family, she was their only daughter. Her parents regarded her as the pearl in their palms and had pampered her immensely since childhood.

In addition, her boyfriend since university, Cheng Fengjin, was the heir of a listed company. Therefore, her economic circumstances were more than favourable. Even now, she still didn’t know the pains and difficulties of the human world. Everything she did was according to her temper.

In terms of waste, Cheng Fengjin had also said numerous times that he would help her correct this bad habit. But according to Ruan Zhizhi, it seemed that after the two of them got together, the habit of wasting became more and more severe. 

Li Sichen used to often say that Gu Nian was spoiled by Cheng Fengjin. It was indeed so.

In comparison, Li Sichen was more than a hundred times cruel to Ruan Zhizhi. 

Since there were very few customers at this time, the food came quickly. Rice noodle rolls, shrimp dumplings, chicken feet, fried radish cake, and sampan congee were arranged on the dining table in a circle. The fragrance assailed their senses, instantly evoking Ruan Zhizhi’s appetite.

While Gu Nian threw away her image and devoured the food, she prattled to Ruan Zhizhi: “Zhizhi, next week I’m having a wedding with Cheng Fengjin. You know, I’ve suffered from insomnia every night these past few nights, my hair has fallen out, and my dark circles look like a panda’s.”

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t want to marry Cheng Fengjin anymore.”

“…Aiya, that’s not it, I just—just think that a lifetime is so long. What if he treats me badly after marriage? What if we can’t endure the seven-year-itch and get divorced? What if he finds out that I’m not as good as I thought?”

Ruan Zhizhi was helpless. She carefully reasoned with her. “This is just typical premarital phobia. One one hand, you long to get married, but on the other hand, you’re afraid of the constraints of marriage.” She picked up her spoon and ate a mouthful of congee, chewing slowly. “As I’ve said, you should be content that you were able to meet Cheng Fengjin. In this world, there are plenty of times when you fail to find what you’re looking for. Times where love has found its way, like with you two, are very rare.”

Gu Nian was quiet. Her brows were tightly creased together. After some time, she sighed. “Truthfully, I already know that Cheng Fengjin is very good to me. I think that, rather than worrying about being tied down, I’m more afraid that he will think I’m a burden in the future.”

A burst of laughter escaped, and Ruan Zhizhi curved her lips as she pacified Gu Nian: “If you’re a burden, he will happily be burdened for a lifetime.”

During their four years of university, what Ruan Zhizhi envied the most was Cheng Fengjin’s wholeheartedness towards Gu Nian. Of course, this was something she would never get from Li Sichen.

And because she knew she couldn’t get it, she yearned for it even more.

Ruan Zhizhi had always been by herself since childhood. Li Sichen once provided her with a brief period of warmth and company, but he never gave her the slightest sense of security. When she was by his side, she was happy, but also uneasy. It was because she knew that he could leave anytime, anywhere.

Ironically, the one who actually gave her a sense of security turned out to be a stranger brought to her by chance: Shi Yan. 

If it weren’t for that five-day, four-night trip to Yunnan, perhaps she wouldn’t have had the slightest intersection with that person in her whole life. She was aware that he treated her a little differently, but for what reason?

Could it be…because she looked a bit like the girl he liked? Or, was all the consideration he showed her purely a whim, something that exerted no effort?

Ruan Zhizhi imagined a thousand possibilities, and yet she never imagined the possibility that she was the person Shi Yan had placed at the bottom of his heart—the person he had indirectly beseeched for many years, but could never have. 

“Zhizhi, what are you thinking about? You’ve ignored me for so long.”

Ruan Zhizhi’s thoughts had been drifting to outer space, but her train of thought returned at the sound of Gu Nian’s voice. Without thinking, she subconsciously replied, “I’m thinking about someone.”

She had only said this casually. She didn’t expect Gu Nian’s interest to arrive in an instant. Even her premarital phobias were cast aside. “Who is it? Zhizhi, is someone pursuing you? Or…was your heart moved by someone?”

Embarrassment rose up in an instant. Afraid that Gu Nian and her big mouth would misunderstand, Ruan Zhizhi quickly explained: “You think too much. It’s just a very, very ordinary person who can at most be called a friend.”

“Who, who? Aiya, good Zhizhi, just tell me. Or else I’m going to lose sleep tonight.”

Unable to withstand Gu Nian’s pestering, Ruan Zhizhi thought about it and tried to reply as plainly and succinctly as possible. “His name is Shi Yan, he’s a professor in your school’s psychology department. Last time on the trip to Yunnan, he was also there.”

Hearing the name “Shi Yan”, Gu Nian was stupefied for a moment before she came back to her senses. “Shi Yan…I’ve always thought he was the most intelligent professor at A University. His IQ is much higher than mine, and he also looks super handsome. But this person, ah. He’s always cold and doesn’t like to acknowledge anyone. He’s especially aloof.”

Ruan Zhizhi nodded in approval.

“Oh, right.” Gu Nian set down her chopsticks. With a piece of fried radish cake in her mouth, she spoke inarticulately, “Zhizhi, did you know that Shi Yan used to be our former university schoolmate?”

“What?!”

Ruan Zhizhi’s brain seemed to crash that second. For a long time, it wouldn’t turn on.

Shi Yan and her were university schoolmates? In other words, he had also studied at UCLA?

How could it be…this world was really too small.

Gu Nian adored gossip. All of a sudden, she was full of vitality. “You actually didn’t know? He used to be an influential figure at school. With his high IQ, he graduated from a consecutive study of an undergraduate and masters program in four years. In short, he was a legend in the international students’ circle at the time.”

With great difficulty, her brain finished digesting this huge amount of information. When Ruan Zhizhi began to speak, there was a little doubt in her tone: “Really? Then why don’t I have any impression of him at all?”

Gu Nian couldn’t help rolling her eyes. She said indignantly, “Back then your heart was set on Li Sichen, how could you still have time to care about other members of the opposite sex, ah! In your four years of university, there was only one person in your eyes—Li Sichen. Everyone else was part of the background, or else classified as good or bad.”

Ruan Zhizhi: “……”

Squinting her eyes, Gu Nian didn’t know what distant things she was thinking of and continued to blather: “I remember seeing Shi Yan quite a few times when we ate at the cafeteria. He often sat behind us and ate alone. There were so many people that went up to talk to him, asking to sit with him and so on. All were rejected by him.” When Gu Nian mentioned this, she couldn’t help sighing. “At the time I always wondered if there was someone he was waiting for.”

Ruan Zhizhi’s lips curled, yet she remained completely unmoved. “Is the theatrical drama in your mind so rich? Maybe he doesn’t like being disturbed by other people when he eats, and just wants peace and quiet.”

“How is that possible? There’s no one in this world who likes to eat by themselves. It’s much too lonely.”

Lonely.

Indeed, this is what she had seen the most in Shi Yan.

A strong and heavy sense of loneliness. Even when he was walking in a crowd, he seemed out of place.

His eyes were always gloomy and sharp, constantly making people feel that he didn’t belong in this profane world. Secretive and dangerous.

And yet, for some unknown reason, Ruan Zhizhi felt that she and him seemed to be getting closer and closer.

Translator’s Note: If you like this story so far, please give it a good rating on Novel Updates! It’s much appreciated (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡