CH 486

The thought that the place called Rezaira might not be home to ordinary people, except for Luna, was overturned after seeing Arta.

It was unlikely that a village with someone around my age who had mastered Magic Body Strengthening to such an extent could be considered ordinary.

That night.

"Today, I heard from Arta what my problem was."

At the dinner table with Ellen's parents, I brought up the subject.

"What did you hear?"

In response to Ellen's father, Ronan's question, I dipped my bread in the stew and took a bite.

"He said that my Magic Body Strengthening is extremely inefficient."

"I see."

Ronan nodded quietly, while Luna simply continued her dinner.

Too emotional.

Why couldn't she say it more directly like Arta? I would have preferred an accurate statement rather than a roundabout one.

Do they both expect me to realize everything on my own?

That approach takes too much time.

Despite knowing that impatience was consuming me, I couldn't let it go.

"Reinhardt."

Ronan quietly called my name.

"Yes."

He put his bread on the plate and held up his index finger.

"The magical power within the body is the flame of the heart."

"…Yes."

I understood the analogy to some extent.

From Ronan's index finger, blue mana began to rise like smoke.

I had suspected that just as Luna was no ordinary person, neither was Ronan.

"Do you think the emphasis of the phrase 'flame of the heart' lies on the heart or the flame?"

"The heart… I suppose."

"Yes, you're right."

The blue mana emanating from the tip of Ronan's index finger soon began to flicker like a tiny candle flame.

"If your heart is calm, the flame of your heart will be calm as well."

The flame originating from his finger suddenly grew larger and started to undulate.

"If your heart is in turmoil, the flame of your heart will be like this."

The burning magical flame, seemingly capable of tearing its surroundings apart, was indeed making the air in the living room ripple.

"And if your heart is dark…"

Instantly.

The blue mana transformed as if its very nature had changed, flickering roughly with a dark, ominous hue.

"The flame of your heart may respond to your dark side and change like this."

-Krrrrr

"However…"

The black flame at the tip of Ronan's finger disappeared, and the gentle blue mana returned.

"If your heart is not in turmoil."

"And not dark."

"Unswayed by any emotions that cloud your heart."

"Beyond tranquility."

"Surpassing serenity."

"If you advance to the stage called 'clear mirror, still water' or 'immovable mind'…"

"Once you have gained an unwavering, strong heart, a peace and serenity devoid of doubt, and absolute certainty…"

"What will become of the flame of your heart?"

No longer smoke or a flame, something else emerged from his index finger.

"If the flame of your heart no longer wavers, what will it become?"

The mana emanating from his fingertip neither wavered nor flickered.

A straight line of mana extended.

The line extending from the tip of his index finger grew longer and eventually took on a distinct shape.

A shaped flame.

A flame that no longer wavered.

It soon took on a form akin to a solid object.

An intangible sword.

A sword forged by the heart.

Summoning the Aura Sword, Ronan Artorius sliced a loaf of bread with the blade that extended from his fingertips.

"The moment when the flame of the heart can no longer be a flame."

"..."

"Then, you will be able to attain what you desire."

-Thud!

After finishing his words, Ronan accidentally sliced through the plate along with the bread using the Aura Sword.

"..."

"…Honey?"

Luna stared intently at Ronan.

Swallowing hard, Ronan began to look back at Luna.

"Well, that was… you know…"

"Let's talk for a moment."

"Ah, no. Honey…"

"Come with me."

"Yes…"

Luna grabbed Ronan's arm and led him away, his face turning pale as he was dragged along.

By the way, Luna was one thing, but...

It may be obvious, but...

Ronan Artorius was no ordinary person either.

------

The magic power within one's body is the flame of the heart.

Since the heart is fluid, the flowing magic also takes on a fluid form.

However, when the heart no longer wavers, the magical flame of the heart will not waver either.

What I needed to do first and foremost remained unchanged.

After Ronan went outside, seemingly scolded, he shuffled into the bedroom. Luna looked at me and spoke quietly.

"Let's go for a walk."

"Ah, yes."

In fact, some time had passed since I arrived in Rezaira, but I had not had many conversations with either Luna or Ronan.

People don't usually wander around Rezaira at night. The night in the mountains comes early, and the lifestyle here usually starts at dawn and ends shortly after noon.

Although the nature of Rezaira is different, the village's way of life was not much different from rural life.

Luna walked quietly beside me.

"Do you remember the last time you cried?"

Her sudden question made me feel a bit taken aback.

Why on earth was she asking me this?

"I'm not sure…"

Have I ever cried?

Honestly, I don't remember. I probably didn't cry.

"I don't know. I don't think… I've ever cried."

As we walked through the village, Luna asked quietly.

"Then, when did you feel like you should cry?"

"…"

I've never cried, but have I ever had a moment when I thought I should cry?

Thinking about it, I felt suffocated.

I have failed many times and am still failing. Amidst these failures, I was trying to achieve some success.

Was there a moment when I should have cried?

Luna stopped walking and looked at me.

"Every day is like that, isn't it?"

"…"

"Right?"

For the first time in my life, someone's words struck my heart.

She gently touched my cheek with her hand.

"When you can't cry when you should, those tears fester and rot in your heart."

"Reinhardt."

"You couldn't cry when you should have. Every day is a day you want to cry."

"That's why."

"In the end, you don't realize your heart is broken because you lived through those days."

Holding back something.

Holding back tears.

Could it be that it only makes me sick? I looked at Luna and spoke quietly.

"Crying doesn't solve anything."

Why didn't I have any days when I wanted to cry?

If shedding tears could solve and relieve something, I would have done so without hesitation.

Tears are just tears.

There is a limit to the sadness that can be poured out and relieved with tears.

Wailing only serves as a reminder of how miserable and painful one's own situation is.

It was only to confirm how sick I was.

So, I didn't cry.

I thought that nothing could be solved with tears.

I believed that moving forward was the only thing I had to do, so I had come this far.

"If having an unwavering heart is the condition for me to advance to the next stage, then there's no need for me to cry or pour out my thoughts, is there?"

If what Ronan Artorius had said was what I needed, then tears were even more unnecessary.

Luna shook her head at my words.

"You misunderstood Ronan's words."

"…"

"There's no way a heart without emotions and an unwavering heart can be the same."

Is a heart without emotions not unwavering but indifferent?

"…"

"It doesn't mean to abandon those emotions."

Luna stared intently into my eyes.

"I can see despair, fear, abyss, and guilt within you."

"Yet, despite that, you must remain unshaken."

"Having a clear mind even while facing those emotions."

"Isn't that the mindset you must have?"

"There's a frightening battle ahead."

"It will surely bring even greater fear and terror than your current anxiety and impatience."

"If you cannot have an unwavering heart due to your anxiety and impatience now, it will be the same in the later battles."

Had she left me alone to provoke my anxiety and impatience?

If I couldn't use my power properly amidst my current anxiety, I wouldn't be able to do so in a greater crisis later.

As if giving me preliminary training.

That's why she had left me alone.

"You'll be anxious. Impatient. Your heart will grow increasingly desperate."

"Yet, despite that, you must remain unshaken."

What I'm feeling now, anxiety and impatience, are all the same in the end.

In later battles, I must face even greater fear and terror.

Things that I cannot do now due to anxiety and impatience will be even more impossible later.

So now, in Rezaira, I must find a heart that overcomes fear, not one that succumbs to it.

"And also."

As Luna lowered her hand from my cheek, she smiled.

"Tears cannot solve anything, but that's why they're necessary. I hope you understand that."

Tears can't solve anything. That's why they're important.

I felt like I knew what it meant in the past.

But the present me and the past me had changed so much that I couldn't understand what Luna meant by that.

"I think that the most unnecessary thing for a person is actually what a person needs the most, what makes a person a person, something very important."

"I'm not sure what you mean…"

"Oh dear, have you forgotten?"

Luna smiled.

"We've been talking about the heart all this time."

There's no need for a person to have something called a heart.

But can a person without a heart be considered a person?

I couldn't understand Luna's words, but I couldn't deny them either.

------

In the end, I had to overcome my anxiety, impatience, and fear.

If I continued to embrace a hopeless problem while enhancing my magical power alone, my anxiety would only grow.

Rather, I felt that grappling with a hopeless problem alone would only exacerbate the issue.

So, I felt the need to distance myself a little.

I needed to put some distance between myself and the myriad of problems that had crowded my mind.

The more urgent it became, the more urgency remained within me.

I needed to clear my head.

I had quite a few conversations with Luna and Ronan, but nothing changed significantly.

Luna and Ronan still left me to my own devices. They gave me hints but never directly observed me.

However, after realizing what Luna and Ronan wanted to some extent, I felt that it was unreasonable to expect them to watch over me.

Life in the mountain village was busy.

Life in the mountain village began even before the sun rose.

Ronan would lead the villagers on hunting expeditions from dawn, and it was impossible to know when he would return. Luna had to wake up even earlier to prepare breakfast and send him off.

The villagers who stayed behind also got up at dawn to tend to the fields, and Luna was no exception.

After noon, they would do laundry or chop wood; the villagers who stayed behind were not idle.

When the hunters returned, they gathered to skin the animals they had caught, dry the hides, or smoke and make sausages to store the meat. They had no time to spare.

Their days were peaceful but full.

Although I felt anxious and restless, being human, I had no choice but to say this.

"Um... Mother."

"Hmm?"

"I feel like I should be doing something too. Is there anything I can do...?"

Being a guest for a day or two was fine.

However, after almost twenty days of not helping and clinging to their hospitality, my tiny conscience couldn't bear it any longer.

From being a king in Edina to dealing with the fate of the world and now helping with labor in a mountain village – what on earth was I doing?

I wanted to escape this uncomfortable feeling of being overly conscious of the villagers' lack of scrutiny.

"You're asking sooner than I expected."

Luna grinned and handed me a bucket.

"Fill it up with water. To the brim."

What exactly am I doing here?