Chapter 196 Inner Demons

It was the third day of Xenia’s training, and as usual, she was already up awake before the sun even rose. Blowing through her lips, she absentmindedly prepared Darius’s dose of celibacy potion, but not before she created another dosage for herself and quickly mixed it in with her tea to drink it.

“It really shouldn’t have come to this…”

Sighing, she turned her head and looked at her mate, the man still sleeping peacefully on the bed like nothing was even happening. Seriously, he was always too touchy whenever they slept, like how a cat would constantly brush itself against its master at every chance it got.

“I’m sure he’s not even aware of how distracting he is with his grabby hands,” Xenia mumbled out with a frown. Squinting her eyes towards Darius, her lips curled up as she wondered, “I wonder what would happen if I accidentally forgot to mix a dose of the potion in with his tea?”

Raising an eyebrow, she casually tucked Darius’s dose back into her pocket. She didn’t know what came over her for her to do such a thing intentionally, but she supposed that it was payback somehow. This time, she would be the one who would revel in her celibate for the night.

“Although…”

Xenia blinked, slowly realizing that Darius would inevitably suffer if she did such a thing. As such, she quickly grabbed the potion from her pocket and added the right dosage to his tea anyway. On second thought, she wouldn’t want him going haywire on her, especially knowing how weak his control was over his carnal desires.

“The pains of love…”

Sighing, Xenia fell into the nearest chair beside her. All at once, everything she had gone through seemingly made itself apparent all across her body. From phantom pains from her earlier training, to the weird yet familiar sensation of water washing over her, the tolls of her efforts compounded itself onto her like a sack of bricks.

“D-Damn…” she sighed, her right hand moving to massage her shoulder. “Have I been really pushing it these past few days?”

From swimming across the ocean to actually holding her breath underwater like a fish, the rigors of her efforts only compounded against her frustrations. Absently, she looked at the tea she had prepared for Darius, a silent part of her telling her to scrap the dose and prepare something that didn’t have the potion. It would be horrible of her, yes, but what if it gave her some form of satisfaction?

Xenia let out a sigh, shaking her head in denial before her gaze landed on her sleeping mate. She really shouldn’t do such a thing. It was the one thing keeping her focus on her training, and doing so would just sully all of her efforts.

“Focus, Xenia. You can do this…”

Taking her tea, she found herself staring at the reflection cast on the surface of her drink. She didn’t know why, but it almost felt like it was taunting her.

‘Come on. Don’t you want to get some action?’

“No, I don’t,” she growled at her reflection.

‘What’s so bad about getting your inner part watered, huh?’ her reflection taunted. ‘It’s just one night~’

“I’m going insane…”

Xenia almost wanted to chuckle at her own perveted thoughts. Here she was, giving a voice to her own reflections as if they were alive. Was she really that desperate for Darius’s touch that she’d sabotage her own chances just to feel good again?

‘You’ve done worse. What’s one more?~’

“Absolutely not.”

With a harsh whisper, Xenia drank her tea, feeling the potion wash over her as she downed it all in a single gulp.

“There,” she whispered to herself. “Like it or not, I’m not getting any tonight.”

Somehow, a part of her waited for her traitorous thoughts to return, only to smirk as the sweet sound of the ocean waves filtered through the ship.

“Take that, inner demons,” she chuckled.

“X-Xen?”

Her eyes widened. Seeing Darius stir on their bed, she quickly composed herself, standing up as if she hadn’t just fought her inner demons and victoriously won.

“Good morning, My King,” she sweetly greeted. “How was sleep?”

“Uneventful,” he replied, promptly sitting up and facing her. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.” That was a lie. “I just woke up in time to prepare your daily dose of celibacy potion.”

“I see.”

With bated breath, Xenia found herself hoping that the potion she just drank worked as she took in his usual breathtaking form. Walking towards her, he took his usual tea and sipped on it as he stood by her.

“Same taste as last time,” he complimented. “Thanks, Xen.”

“No problem.”

Settling into their usual routines, the two of them basked in each other’s presence as they went through the motions. Darius sat by as he watched her prepare herself for the day, observing as she dressed herself without so much as a care in the world. Not that she minded, of course. If it was any other day, she’d also watch him dress himself, looking over him like he was some sort of eye-candy.

Which he perfectly was, thank you very much.

“If I recall, you have one more training session in store for you once you step foot outside this cabin,” Darius absently commented, his cup of tea still in his hands as he sat by. “I know it might be daunting, but-“

“Look, I can handle it, okay?” she smirked, her chosen set of clothes for the day firmly hugging her features as she fastened her boots. “Besides, what’s the worst that Osman can throw at me this time?”

“Be careful with your words there, Xen,” Darius teased. “Keep in mind that overconfidence is a slow, and insidious killer.”

“I’m not overconfident, Darius,” she fired back with a smirk. “I know exactly what my limits are.”

“Well, I can only hope that those limits will help you going forward,” he casually stated, finishing off his tea without much fanfare. “I refuse to lose you, let alone even getting yourself hurt out of sheer confidence.”

Rolling her eyes, Xenia shrugged as she made her way to the door. “Relax. I can handle it.”

***

“Get us to shore.”

Seeing the two massive oars being given to her, Xenia balked at the task being told for her to do.

“On second thought, maybe this is a bit too much for me to handle.”