Chapter 162 - Pain Of The Past

After ignoring Connor and sleeping by herself, she suddenly felt something scratching on her door. She sat up like a zombie with dark circles in her eyes. She went to the door and opened it. She found that puppy sitting in front of her, looking up at her like a lost one. Her heart melted yet she still felt that pain. It was the exact breed of puppy that she had to kill. Suddenly, tears started rolling down her cheek and she reached the puppy, gently hugging it. She closed the door and rushed to the corner of the bed, sat on the carpet, and hugged it. 

"I'm sorry," Johanna started sobbing as she remembered how she sliced the puppy's throat back when she was five years old. 

"Do it!" The man's voice growled at her. "How can you protect yourself if you can't kill that animal?" 

Johanna sobbed hard, hugging the puppy who seemed to be whimpering and kissing her. The man was blurry in her vision but the puppy was vivid. She buried the puppy at that time and cried in her sleep after her parents were sleeping. 

"I don't want to kill you too." Johanna sobbed and looked at the puppy who was tilting his head and he licked her wet cheeks. "Benny might hate me now… I don't want you to hate me too even in your death." She stared at the puppy's deep blue eyes as it blinked at her. Somehow, the puppy caught her heart. She ignored it because she's afraid of hurting him or anyone. 

For Johanna, animals are more emotional than any humans. Humans are like little demons. They are selfish, greedy, and act more like animals. On the other hand, dogs, cats, or any animals have more emotions. Mostly, dogs. She saw how Benny, the puppy that she killed back then followed her around, slept with her, kissed her, staring at her, and blinked his eyes to show his love. She loved him so much but they wanted her to kill Benny. After that, she never showed to her parents that she was considerate to other animals. She never kept one, afraid that she might kill it. 

This time, now that Connor gave her another chance, she wanted to train him, love him with all of her heart and make him a guard dog. So, the dog would be able to protect himself from any harm. She kissed the dog's forehead. He didn't smell bad at all. It seemed like Connor even bathed the puppy and sprayed him with mint, so any fleas or insects wouldn't approach him. 

"Are you hungry?" She asked softly. The door gently opened and she knew that it was Connor. He approached her and sat beside her. Then, he hugged her.

"I know that you'll love him." He kissed her temple. "You don't have to be scared anymore, my babe. I bought him because I want you to know that you aren't a monster." 

Johanna looked at him with tears in her eyes. He scooped her wet cheeks and kissed her forehead. 

"Train him. He'll be your best friend beside me and Keira, also your mom Karmina. He will guard you too." 

She bit her lips and nodded at him. 

"I love you and this puppy loves you too." 

"Thank you." She said with a hiccup at the end. He gently rubbed her back.

"Babe," he smiled at her. "You don't have to thank me for that much." He kissed her lips as she kissed back. However, the puppy got in between them, as he licked both of their cheeks. He chuckled and patted the puppy. "What should we name him?" 

She thought for a while. 

"I~~I don't know…" 

"Think about it, my babe." 

"Okay," She thought for a while. "How about, Hunter?" She asked. 

"That's a cute one." 

"I want him to hunt after those bad people who wanted to hurt him and kill them." 

Connor was a little surprised but he chuckled and patted her head. 

"Alright, Chase them. I will set up your midnight snack. Let's go downstairs?" 

She glanced at the clock, eleven-thirty five. She stood while she had Hunter in her arms like her baby. 

"What do you like? I bought pizza dough and other things." He placed his hand at the small of her back. 

"I'll eat anything."

When they reached the kitchen, she gently put Hunter over the barstool and she held him still so he wouldn't fall. Then, Connor grinned, slid his hand inside her pajama top, and caressed her tummy. 

"Baby's hungry?" 

"Yeah, so go and make that pizza. I also want some cold cocktail drinks. No alcohol." 

"Sure, love." 

After Connor put the pizza in the oven, he prepared the cocktail she liked with ball ice on it. She sipped on it and looked at Hunter who was already asleep on the stool. 

"Babe," Connor walked around with his milk and sat beside her. He put his hand over her lap. "Keira also has a puppy. The same breed and she named it Lovie. We can take Hunter to the office." 

"Sure." She nodded at him. 

"Great." He kissed her lips and she responded. 

"Thank you for the gift." 

Connor's lips stretch into a beautiful smile. He kissed her forehead. 

"Anything for you, baby." 

Their midnight snack was full of sweet actions and Connor also prepared something for their puppy. A dough with few toppings and without any other seasoning. The puppy was five months old and he loved it. He even prepared a milk bottle for him. They put diapers on him before going to bed. He then put the pup down on the dog's bed and set it at the edge of the bed. He had plans tonight. He wanted to make love to her. 

"So, shower or here?" 

"I'm tired." She mumbled. 

"I'll make it quick." He mumbled after wiping her arms with a damp towel. 

"Okay," Next, she removed her pajama top and then her pajama pants with her underwear. He put it all in the laundry basket. He quickly rushed to her and kissed her lips. Hunter whimpered but he ignored him. 

"Hunter, sleep. Okay? Your mom and I will make more babies." 

Johanna laughed as she scooped his cheeks and kissed his lips. 

The time that the couple fell asleep. Johanna sat up, still asleep. Her eyes were open like she's awake as she walked toward the door. Only the puppy noticed it, so the puppy started barking. He growled and followed Johanna. Although the puppy was little, Johanna went toward the other room where Connor had his tools. 

Inside Johanna's head. She portrayed that her father told her to pick up anything to kill the puppy. She hesitated but when her father grabbed her jaws and held them tightly. 

"Do you want me to burn all of your toys?" He growled at her. 

"No…" 

"Then, kill him." 

"I don't want to kill him, daddy!" She started crying like a baby but then, his father took out a gun. "Better burn my toys!" She wailed. 

"Really?" His menacing voice made her shudder. "Or do you want me to kill your brother and never see him again?" 

She stopped crying as her eyes dilated. 

"I~~I~~" She stammered. "I'll do it. Just don't kill Victor." 

"Good. You won't be able to protect yourself if you don't know how to kill." 

Meanwhile, inside Johanna's room. Connor noticed Hunter's weird barking and growling. He noticed that Johanna wasn't in his head anymore. So, he rushed outside and found the baby's room was open. He froze, seeing Johanna standing in front of Hunter holding a screwdriver. 

"Jo," He called but her eyes were open. 

He quickly rushed to her when she raised the screwdriver. He quickly caught her wrist and wrapped his arms around her as Hunter whimpered. "Hannah!" He called again and that's when she opened her eyes. 

The first thing that Johanna saw was Hunter barking at her and whimpering. She just noticed that Connor was hugging her and holding her right wrist. When she saw that she's holding a screwdriver, her hands shook and she let it go. She quickly pushed him and stepped back. Her whole body shuddered and she hugged herself and screamed. 

"Connor!" She started sobbing and looked at the small puppy who approached her. She flinched and moved away, afraid that she'd hurt it. "What did I do?" She broke down into more tears and Connor put it back on the toolbox and reached her. He scooped her shaking body. He hushed her and kissed her temple. 

The breakdown was part of the hard way from the pain of the past. Connor cuddled her until she's calm. This time, he took Hunter on the bed as he cuddled to her and licked her cheeks. She didn't flinch anymore. 

"He saved you," Connor said after she calmed down. "Sleep more. Okay? I'll take care of you. Hunter and I will also protect you. Okay?" 

She sniffled and nodded. She sipped on her water again and let Hunter stay between them, and started snoring. Connor held her hand and hummed her the song that she liked until she fell asleep. He couldn't get to sleep this time. He was worried that she might sleep and walk like that anymore. Somehow, there are a lot of side effects of her trauma. If he had met her earlier, he might have helped her overcome it, and screw her parents who made her like this. 

"I'm sorry. That even your brother couldn't help you this time." He whispered and kissed her forehead. He knew that she's asleep, and she probably didn't hear what he said.