Chapter 165 - Love You, Dad - Part 2

AARYN

An hour later, Aaryn wished he hadn't pushed Elreth away. He did need to be alone, he knew that. Or at least, not distracted. But sitting there in the cold, in the dark… it was hard to get perspective on the whole situation.

He felt terrified and angry and hopeless.

At least the tears had stopped.

When he heard the first footstep, his heart leapt, assuming it was Elreth. But the steps were far too heavy for her lithe frame.

Aaryn supposed it should have been a surprise when Reth pushed the leaves aside and stepped under the cover of the Weeping Tree, but it really wasn't.

It was exactly what he needed, he realized.

"I guess Elreth told you," he muttered as Reth crossed the dirt, then let himself sink to the ground next to Aaryn, leaning his back on the trunk of the tree as well.

"My daughter just hugged me and loved on me in a way she hasn't since she was a cub. And yes, she told me… can I see the letter? Or do you prefer to keep it private? I will understand."

Aaryn handed him the sheets, then sat back, not watching as the older man read it.

Then Reth sighed and handed it back.

Aaryn didn't meet his eyes. "How could a traitor write that?" he asked in a small voice. Reth had tried to talk to him about his father a couple times when he was younger, but he hadn't been interested.

Now he was suddenly dying to know anything that Reth could tell him.

Reth sighed again. "I think there's two really important things I need to tell you," he said quietly. "The first is that your father wasn't a traitor all along. In the beginning of the war, he was good and helpful, and he very obviously loved you, Aaryn. He came to me, offered to help me, because he sensed Elia would help you. He supported her as Queen because of her heart for the disformed. He was trying to help.

"But things during war are complicated. And wolves always prioritize their packs, their families, over the Anima as a whole." Reth gave him a sidelong look then. "I'll be honest, I haven't known whether to celebrate that in you, or not. I know my daughter—my whole pride—will benefit from it. But… anyway, Charyn, your father, made a decision that I could not support as King. It was a decision born of love for his family, but it flew in the face of my orders to him. And when we were at war, that simply couldn't be allowed.

"You can see that now, right, Aaryn? You're an Alpha now. You can see that when you are in conflict, if your followers won't follow, it will be chaos?"

"Yes," Aaryn said. "I can. I had to remove my Second for that reason."

Reth nodded. "That was the situation with your dad. He made a decision that, with a cool head, I could understand. But as a King—and especially in the moment, in the danger we were all in—I could not support. So, I sent him away."

Reth shifted his weight like he was uncomfortable. "You know, I'll tell you something I've never told anyone else about this. When I kicked him out of the Tree City, in truth, I half hoped he would go to the enemy and gather information for us. Try to bring it back. Make amends. But we later found out he never made it. As far as I know, he was killed by them before he even made it to their encampment. I don't know if they knew he was a traitor to them, or if it was just bad luck—there was a lot happening at that time. But on the night… I'm sorry, Son, I was relieved. Now, of course, knowing you and watching you grow, I wish it hadn't been that way."

Aaryn grimaced. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I tried. More than once. But whenever I brought him up, you would shut down. You refused to listen. And that one time, you'll remember, you growled at me?" Reth grinned. "It was like having puppy gnaw on my foot. But it was also the day I realized what a male you would become. And I… I wanted to help you."

Reth shifted his weight and cleared his throat as if he were uncomfortable. "I've been careful with you, Aaryn, because I didn't want to force you to confront this when you weren't ready. And, the truth is, sometimes I can be… a little tough on the males in my life. I didn't want to create a further rift…" Aaryn's eyebrows popped up. He had to be talking about Gar. But Reth continued. "Anyway, what's done is done. The point is, I have been a coward, and I'm sorry. I should have said this sooner."

"Said what? About my dad?"

"No," Reth said, his voice low and soft. "I should have told you that… I want to be your… well, your surrogate father, I suppose. I want to stand in that gap for you. I have always wanted to do that. I have tried to do that. But I've also known that you never let yourself fall into our family, not completely."

Aaryn scratched the back of his neck, his stomach suddenly tense. "I didn't think I should," he admitted, finally.

Reth looked surprised. "What? Why not? Weren't we welcoming to you?"

"Of course you were. That was never… I just always felt like if my family's past came to haunt you, you'd regret having taken me in. And it felt… a little disloyal to my mom."

Reth nodded. "I can understand that. It's a mark of what a good male you are that you even thought to be concerned for her, or how it would feel to her. But I want you to think this through, Aaryn. Does loving Elreth lessen your love for your mother at all?"

"No, of course not!"

Reth nodded. "So, loving us—our family, being a part of what we do… that doesn't have to lessen your love for your mother, either. Look at me, Son."

Aaryn lifted his eyes to meet Reth's…