Chapter 535 Strap In

RETH

So many things pressed on him in those silent, passing minutes. So many questions. So many responsibilities. So many demands. But he didn't move away, or press her. Suddenly, every second was precious, draining away and needed to be held, examined and appreciated.

"We have to go," she whispered at some point.

Reth nodded. "Not yet, though," he breathed. "Stay with me for a moment longer, Love. We have to... ready ourselves."

Her brows pinched. "Reth, I can't get ready for this."

"We must, Elia. This is war. Things are going to happen in ways and at times we can't anticipate. Take this moment we've been given, because when we return to them, we'll be giving ourselves. So take while you can. Because when we go back there we're going for our daughter and our son, and our people. But my heart is for you, Love. Always."

Her face crumpled and her fingers curled into his skin, to the edge of pain, but her eyes never left his as she fought for control.

"It's not fair!" she said, her voice high and thin.

Reth shuddered at the echo of the anger in him. But shook his head. "Perhaps that's why we've been given such love? Perhaps it's the Creator's reward, knowing our years would be short?"

Elia blinked, then looked to the sky, her face twisting suddenly into toxic rage. "We almost lost each other! You said that was the worst we would face! You said that! How could you lie to me?!"

Reth gripped her, pulling her in as she moved like she might get up, perhaps to spit directly at the Creator? He couldn't be sure. "Elia, Love, no—"

She turned on him. "He doesn't lie! But He told me those days, that pain before Elreth arrived was the worst we would face. But this is worse! This is worse!" she screamed, tilting her chin to the sky again.

Reth took her head and cradled her, tucking her under his chin and squeezing her to him. "Hush, Love, hush."

He knew what she meant, but he also knew... in twenty years he had grown. They had grown. While this mountain before them was horrific and terrifying, and definitely not the path he wanted to choose, he also felt within himself that they were equipped to meet it.

That was, perhaps, the hardest part. If he wasn't strong enough, if Elia couldn't, being asked this would be too much. They could simply refuse.

But the days and hours leading to Elreth's birth had torn him from his foundations. Shaken him and his resolve until he'd almost given up. And in a strange and sad way, he was beginning to see how those days had prepared him for the years between, and now this moment too. Because no matter what, he had never stopped appreciating his mate. Even in anger, even in betrayal, those days had taught him that time wasn't a gift they would endlessly continue to receive.

So, he realized, as he sat here on this morning, he was torn not by regret of what should have been, or what they might have had... no. Reth had no regrets. He was torn only by sadness that time for them would not continue. That they couldn't share more.

The promise of paradise whispered in his head but he shook it off. The vague and formless prophecy of eternity had always left him confused. What he knew was his love, here and now. And his mate. Their children, and now their children's mates.

As Elia's tears ran dry, as she relaxed into his embrace, as she stopped trying to fight the Creator, Reth's heart deflated—and galvanized.

They didn't have weeks. They might have days. They could likely only count on hours.

So when she sighed, then sat up to stare at him again, he had to clear his throat before his voice would work.

"Hear me, Love" he rasped. "I don't know what this day, these hours bring. I don't know what else will be asked of you, or what you might face. But I know that I will stand for you through it all."

Elia nodded and put a hand to his jaw again. "I know, Reth. Me too."

But he wasn't finished. "The night I claimed you, I told you that vow was not for a people, or a tradition. It was my heart to yours. Male to female. My vow to you that wherever you are, no matter what you face, I go with you. My body for yours, my blood for yours, my life for yours. You're mine, and I'll die to protect you."

"I know," she breathed, fighting tears again. "I vow the same to you. That's why… right? That's why we have to do this?"

He nodded sadly—angrily, if he was honest with himself.

Funny. Whenever he'd heard a story of heroes, he didn't remember the part where they were pissed as hell about the noble thing they were about to do.

"What do you need, Elia? What can I do to help you?"

She closed her eyes. "Apparently I need to ask a Protector or two to give up their lives. I can't even imagine—"

"Don't take that on yourself, Love. Gahrye was right. Whoever you choose, whoever is willing, they were made by the Creator for this, and they will be rewarded."

Her brow pinched. "Is that what you believe? That we'll be rewarded for this?"

He nodded slowly. Certain it was true, but uncertain in what form or shape it could possibly take.

Elia looked down at her hands, resting on his chest. "Can you imagine a reward worth giving up watching our children grow up? Meeting our grandchildren?" she said, biting her lip to avoid giving in to tears again.

"Truthfully, no," Reth rumbled, his voice hoarse. "But the Creator has achieved so many things I could never have imagined, I have stopped trying to anticipate what He's capable of."

Elia snorted. "So fucking wise," she said dryly. "If I didn't know you believed it, I'd find you so completely obnoxious, Reth, you know that?"

He didn't like the darkness in her eyes when she lifted them to meet his. But she didn't shy away. She was being honest.

He cupped her face and kissed her soft lips, then kissed them again because kisses were no longer an endless resource.

"What do you need?" he asked again. "How can I help?"

"Just stay with me," she whispered back. "Never leave my side."

"Done."

*****

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