Chapter 528 Holding On

GAR

Gar trembled like a leaf. He had to close his eyes and bare his teeth at the fear within that wanted to wash over him, consume him.

But at the sound of his growl, Rika startled, then she was trembling too, and he cursed himself for frightening her.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm just—"

"It's okay, I know," she whispered, her hands gripping the front of his shirt and keeping him close.

She didn't want him to move away, thank the Creator. Gar gave a low groan in his throat and that tiny sparkle of the bond began in his heart again, thrumming, humming as it tried to feed out, into his veins.

The bond was strengthening. She was moving towards him, he could feel it. But it just made him all the more terrified—after all, what if they had no time? What if the bond didn't snap into place before this was over and they got parted?

What if they never got the chance to be what they truly were to each other?

Huffing out a long breath, Gar pressed her into the wall and dropped his chin to kiss the side of her neck. "Rika, I—"

"There has to be a way to get to them to negotiate," she whispered, even as she dropped her head back against the rock to give him more room. "What if… what if you hold me hostage? Then you can use me—tell them they have to ransom me. It might work. It might not, but it's worth a try?"

"Rika…" he groaned, his head suddenly full of images of walking her into a circle of men with those guns, of throwing himself over her when they decided to shoot instead of save her.

"I don't want you to fight," she said, her voice high and pinched. "I want to find another way. If you fight, you'll lose, Gar. Not because they're strong, but because of their weapons. I want… I need you to walk through this without becoming the zoo animal they want to make you!"

Gar shuddered. He felt like two beasts twisted and snarled, fighting with him. One that was the side of him that loved her fierce independence, and wanted to see her grow to be as strong as she was capable.

And the other part of him that wanted to curl her into his chest, roll her small, and carry her away from everyone and everything that might so much as scratch her skin. That part wanted to be her shield, to keep her apart from everything.

"Hey, hey," she whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you, Gar. I'm just throwing ideas out there. I want to find a way through this so we can win, that's all."

She framed his face with her hand and smiled up at him. It was brittle and threatened to fade quickly, but she meant it. Her scent was all fear, scattered with joy, and the joy surged as he combed his fingers through her hair, then down her back.

He didn't know what to say. Couldn't conceive of the words that would accurately convey the tumult of emotions within him.

But, as she always did, Rika found a way through anyway.

*****

RIKA

Something was happening between them. She didn't know what, but it made her heart race, and urged her body even closer to his.

At first she thought it was just pure desire, and she actually toyed with the idea of popping the buttons on his leathers. But she knew they could be interrupted any second, and much as she might admire the Anima freedom with their bodies and nudity, she wasn't ready to become one of them in that sense.

But the fizzing in her veins pushed her closer to him. So as he leaned on her, his breathing tortured, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close, taking his lips again and again, whispering her love.

He bared his teeth more than once, clearly fighting whatever thoughts were in his head.

"Shhhhh," she soothed, stroking his face again when he straightened just enough to meet her gaze.

"Rika," he rumbled, "this isn't just about the humans. I don't want you in their hands. But I don't want you anywhere except next to me. I want you out of danger—I want to put you somewhere you can never be in danger in the first place! I can't stand the thought that this might lead to you imprisoned in someone else's hands—"

"That's exactly how I feel, Gar. Can't you see?" she whispered, then kissed him again. "I don't want you in danger either. But… are you going to avoid it just for me?"

He sighed heavily and stood straight, still keeping his hips pressing her into the wall.

Their eyes never left each other.

"No?" he breathed reluctantly.

"No," she said, nodding. "So, we're both going to make the other terrified. And we're going to do this right. We're going to listen to each other, figure out the best ways to keep ourselves safe. And we're… we're going to come back to each other when this is all done. I'm sure of it," she said, though her heart wasn't anything like convinced.

He put a hand to her face and groaned in his throat again. When he didn't speak, her throat caught. "We have to find a way, Gar."

He sighed again and pulled her into his chest. "We have to submit," he puttered, his lips against her hair. "We have to choose to follow the path the Creator has set out, and pray that He'll see us through it, because… because we both need to be there."

"He will," she whispered. "He better."

"Forever, Rika. No matter what. You have me to my soul. My blood for yours, my breath, my—"

"Stop," she sobbed and pulled him into a deep kiss that was salted by her tears.

And found he couldn't let her go. He just couldn't. The Creator was going to have to find a way to tear her from his grip, because all he could do was cling.