CH 74.1

I Also Want to Join (1)

Ruan Qingmu pushed open the door to enter. “Mm. It’s me.”

Fang Li’s slim figure looked like a thin piece of paper that would float away when blown by the wind under the light of the moon. He said in a soft voice, “I’ll return immediately.”

Ruan Qingmu straightly sat on the floor and beckoned at him. “Sit. I want to talk to you. And it’s tiring to do it while standing around like this.”

Fang Li sat down next to him, still silent.

Ruan Qingmu sighed as the restlessness in his heart increased and the feeling of powerlessness grew stronger.

He had done everything he could and Fang Li seemed to be doing better than he had been some days before. The cowering and timidity seen previously had disappeared, but there was a bit more blankness and depression than before.

“Fang Li, I have some things I can’t hold back anymore,” he calmly started. “I don’t know if it’s okay to say it out loud, so you can just listen for now.”

Fang Li looked at him in a daze. “Ah?”

Ruan Qingmu turned his head and looked at him fixedly. “I’m angry. Angry at you, don’t you know?”

Fang Li lowered his head, bending his slender neck. “I’m sorry…”

“You fucking plan to run away, don’t you?!” Ruan Qingmu suddenly grabbed his collar fiercely and gripped it tightly. “You don’t study and are starting to skip night self-study. You’ve also learned to agree overtly but oppose in secret!”

He clenched his teeth tightly and said softly, “Do you know Old Jian has approached me several times, saying I’m close to you and asking me to comfort you more and supervise your study? Do you know Qin Yuan and I are worried about you and we couldn’t help but talk about you whenever we’re together? Did you know that even Bai Jing and Huang Ya secretly looked at the forum and would hurriedly notify the administrator when they saw any bad words, asking them to delete them quickly?!”

He was furious. “Right. There’s a lot of malice and I know it’s hard for you, but so many people are worried about you. Can’t you turn around and see there’s a lot of people who care about you?!”

Fang Li firmly pursed his lips. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t just say you’re sorry to me. Say it to Fu Songhua! Did you know that that idiot’s grades dropped out of the top thirty in the grade for this monthly exam, alarming the class teacher and his parents?”

Fang Li’s body trembled lightly and the daze in his eyes disappeared. He reached out to hold Ruan Qingmu’s hand, tremblingly twisting it away. “What does he have to do with me? Nothing!”

“Fine. Fine. You’re ruthless enough.” Ruan Qingmu used a finger to poke him, forcing back the anger filling his heart. “Fine. It has nothing to do with you. Fu Songhua, that idiot deserves to get his grades dropped to hell!”

Fang Li suddenly lowered his head and silently sobbed, his voice hoarse and full of despair. “Ruan-ge… I’m begging you. Please help me. He listens the most to class monitor Qin’s words. P-Please help me talk to Qin Yuan to tell him to study harder…”

Ruan Qingmu silently looked at him before sighing after a long time.

“Enough. Don’t talk about him anymore.” Ruan Qingmu waited for his sobbing to become smaller slowly before trying to use a gentle tone. “Let’s talk about other things. We need more people for our show at the New Year’s Eve party.”

Fang Li raised his tear-stained face. “What?”

Ruan Qingmu solemnly looked at him. “Do you want to register? Dancing while wearing the skirts you like the most, embracing the look you love the most. You can dance in front of everyone, dancing stunningly and openly.”

Fang Li was completely stunned, his pair of lips slightly trembling. “W-What nonsense are you spouting?”

“It’s not nonsense.” Ruan Qingmu smiled. “I know that if it’s me, I would certainly like to perform at the New Year Eve’s party.”

Fang Li’s voice was almost vague. “Why should I? What meaning is there?”

“Of course, there’s meaning.” Ruan Qingmu’s voice was cold but hard. “The bad people want to see me kneel and beg for forgiveness. I will stand even if I die. They want to see me weep in pain. I will laugh out loud on the contrary. Why should one live to put up with the appearance that those bad people want to see and make them happy?”

Fang Li gazed at his prideful face in stunned silence. His heart was in turmoil for a moment as he looked into Ruan Qingmu’s deep gaze.

Ruan Qingmu calmly waited for a while before suddenly adding a line, “How about I accompany you?”

Fang Li didn’t understand and looked at him blankly. “Ah… aren’t you accompanying me now?”

Ruan Qingmu scratched his head. His delicate and pretty face looked unusually troubled as if generously meeting death.

“I’m saying I’ll accompany you to go up onstage and wear skirts.”