Volume 1 - CH 1.2

Chapter 1 – The Heart of The Girl That Doesn’t Speak is Nothing But Cute (Part 2)

As I fell into a deep sleep, a fragrant odor tickled my nostrils.

The smell seemed to lure me in, and my mind gradually became clear.

"…How much sleep do I get?"

I searched for my cell phone, picked it up and looked at the time.

It seemed like I had been asleep for quite a while and about an hour had passed.

I felt a little dazed, probably because of my previous condition.

I got out of bed and slowly rolled my shoulders to stretch my muscles.

As I did so, I heard a conversation between Sensei and someone else.

"Listen, it's been a month since you moved here... have you been able to adjust to the school environment?"

"Not only have I not settled in, but no one has approached me. What's going on?"

"Oh right! How about using social media or exchanging contact information?"

"...Yes, but everyone I approach seems to be busy and always says "I have something to do". Even if I wanted to exchange contacts, they would leave immediately."

"Hmm... I see..."

My face fell when I heard this sad conversation. The pleasant feeling I had just felt after waking up from sleep vanished in an instant, and an indescribable feeling of nausea began to take hold of my stomach.

Oh, I shouldn't be listening to this. I can't even open the curtains to go outside. If I had spoken earlier, I would have pretended that I had just woken up and could leave right away...

I let my breath out slowly. Then I decided to wait patiently, hoping that the conversation would end soon.

"Umm, don't hesitate. I won't tell anyone, and if you have any problems, ask me anything!"

"…It feels annoying when I rely too much on Sensei."

"Is that so? I don't mind."

"…No. I'll do it myself."

"I admit that you are a hard worker. I wonder what's really going on."

It seemed that the counselor's stubbornness in her had always encouraged Sensei to help her students.

But now she was at a loss for words. This was unusual for the always strong-willed Sensei.

I mean, are there any students here who are afraid of teachers?

Even they are fearless and very brave with the senior students... I've never heard of that before.

No wonder Sensei is so confused right now.

[TN: So the point of the above conversation is that the MC is confused as to why the other students seem to be running away as if they're afraid of the student Sensei is talking to. Because she thinks that the other students aren't even afraid of the teacher or the seniors].

When it comes to counseling about human relationships, we will never know where the landmines are. It is very difficult because we have to choose our words very carefully.

As a teacher, the weight of your words is obviously very different... so you have to be very careful.

As expected, I kept hearing a sad inner voice wondering, (How... can she do well?).

I couldn't hear it well through the curtain, but it was probably Sensei's voice because it sounded so weak.

"Oh, yeah! As I said before, have you ever seen someone you can model yourself after? You can start by watching and imitating him/her."

"...There is one in the next classroom. There is also a very friendly and bright young lady in my class... But I don't think I can imitate her."

"In the next class... ah, Kaburagi?"

"Yes. He has a lot of friends. He's nice and I secretly admire him."

"Ahh, no. He's amazing, sure, but he's really just pretending, you know? He's actually cocky and a jerk, okay?"

Oi, school nurse. Don't trash-talking me.

I wanted to say something, but I immediately swallowed the sound that was about to come out of my mouth and decided to hold it in.

"Is that so? Unlike me, I've only heard good things about him."

"You can't just look at it from the surface, can you? It's true that you can learn a lot from him on a microscopic level, but..."

"...If I imitate him, I'll have a lot of friends, right?"

"Yes. Well, if you get the chance, maybe you could ask him for some tips? If you want, I can introduce you to him."

"No, I'll do it myself. I'll find my own friend."

"You're really stubborn, huh? I don't know why people around you always act like that...huft"

Huh?

I tilted my head after hearing the unpleasantness of their conversation.

The flow of the conversation seemed to be out of sync...

I was more concerned about that than about Sensei's disrespect for me.

There was a strange pause in the conversation.

While I was thinking about it, I heard a 'beep' and an incoming call.

"It's the vice principal. Oh no... I forgot we were having a staff meeting. But I'd rather talk to you now than attend the meeting..."

"...Sensei. Thank you for your time."

"Yes? Shall we talk again later?"

"It's not good for you to leave your work because of me."

"No, but..."

"...I just don't want to bother you, Sensei."

Once again I heard the voice of concern. Sensei wanted to help the student who came to her for advice. But this stubborn student refused to accept it.

It's actually quite good that she's willing to ask others for help to solve her problems, but it's very difficult to solve problems in human relationships when she's so withdrawn... She tends to be passive and needs to change her way of thinking...

If it were me, I would start by building her confidence.

After that, I would explain the difference between what attitudes she should keep and what she should work on.

I think that's the first thing I would do.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. You'll get in trouble if you're late."

"Mouu... I understand. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later."

A voice of complaint could be heard.

It was probably a priority for Sensei not to cut off communication with her.

(I am so unworthy)

Sensei's inner voice said sadly.

"...I wish I could help Sensei who always listens to me."

"You don't want me to make it up to you? No, no, I mean what I say. We'll talk again next time! That's a promise."

"…Sensei, you're very kind."

"Alright then."

Well, it's finally over for now, isn't it?

I'll wait for these two to disperse and come out.

"…I want to return the favor, Sensei."

"Uh, you want me to give you a job?"

"…Whatever it is. I'll do my best."

"Anything? Hmm... Ah!"

A voice came out of Sensei's mouth as if she had a good idea.

"In that case, I would like to ask you a favor."

"Of course, no problem."

"You didn't even ask what it was?"

"I'm happy to be relied upon. I'll do my best."

"I understand. Then──"

I could hear Sensei's inner voice saying, “I have found the right person for this”, and I felt a bad premonition.

"Actually, there is a student sleeping there..."

"...Student?"

"Yes, that's right. That brat will try to escape at any time. So how about someone watching him closely to make sure he doesn't escape? Just for a little while."

"Yes, okay. I'll do that. No problem."

"Sorry. That idiot needs to rest, but if I leave him alone, he'll be in a hurry and will try to act all right so that I don't have to worry about him. I have to watch over her like this."

"...Then he just needs to sleep and rest."

Oops, Sensei caught me.

I thought I could go home as soon as they were done, but I guess Sensei could see through me. She's known me for a long time and seen it all the time, so I can't blame her for anticipating my next move.

"He is a troublesome person. He calls himself a good guy── Ahh, the vice principal already urged me to come over immediately... Then I'll leave, so please!"

"...Good luck, Sensei"

I heard Sensei leave in a hurry and his footsteps go away.

Then the curtains suddenly opened and I, caught off guard, hurriedly closed my blanket.

It was as if I had been asleep the whole time and hadn't heard any conversation. I pretended to breathe in my sleep to show that I was asleep.

"...Sorry to bother you, okay?"

I heard a frightened voice and felt her approach next to me.

Are you really going to watch me like Sensei told you?

No, no, you don't have to take it seriously! You can go home as usual!

I wanted to say it, but obviously I couldn't in this situation, so I just swallowed it.

"...When he's sleeping, I have to be quiet...Umm, where's the chair?"

She must have been looking for a chair nearby.

I heard the faint sound of the chair scraping on the floor.

"That's Kaburagi-kun sleeping. As Sensei said, you are a hard worker and always do your best. I knew it!"

I was surprised by the words of praise she suddenly gave me.

I turned around to hide the expression on my face that seemed to change because of her honest praise.

"...I should keep an eye on him. Then..."

I mean, don't tell me you're going to keep an eye on me next to me!

But she was told by Sensei to leave after a while, right?

She won't stay forever. I just had to sleep and wait for the time to pass.

So I decided to wait for her to leave.

"I have to keep my promise. Contracts must be kept. If you break it, you will be punished."

Um, you're going home soon, right? I'm a little nervous...

────After a few hours.

My fears were confirmed as the girl was still sitting next to me.

She continued to stare at me as Sensei had instructed.

Occasionally I would open my eyes to check on the situation. She would blink and then stare at me with an intense gaze...constantly.

No way, she's not going home... No, why wouldn't she want to go home.

I always assumed that she would be home soon, so I would stay like this for a while...

As time passed, it became harder and harder to get up.

How did this happen?

I swore in my heart and opened my eyes to look at her face.

She still hadn't moved and her big, beautiful eyes were staring at me.

"...He was sleeping soundly. He must be tired. He'll be surprised when he wakes up and Sensei isn't here, so I'll have to wait"

I heard it again. A clear voice.

Turning over, I looked at her and saw that she was holding a pill in her hand, and her mouth didn't move even though I heard her voice.

Oh God, I didn't know that the girl Sensei wanted to help was Kurusu.

I thought she was a bad person who talked a lot while saying "I should shut up"...

I was just hearing her inner voice all the time.

I didn't pay attention to her because I heard her through the curtain.

I thought she was having a normal conversation with Sensei, but she wasn't.

That makes sense. No wonder I had never heard her voice before and why I felt a pause in their conversation.

(...Sensei is very cool. The way she speaks is very dignified and mature. She's like a ‘businesswoman’. Would I look better if I could be calmer like that?)

With her inner voice dripping with 'pure' feelings all the time, I thought about when to get up.

I've never been in contact with Kurusu before, but in such a short time I found out that she is a person with a very serious personality. She follows exactly what Sensei tells her.

And... she doesn't talk much.

Or rather, Rurina Kurusu doesn't talk at all.

She was a famous student who came around February and stole all the attention in the school. She wasn't very talkative, she wasn't very friendly, her eyes were scary, there were even rumors that she might actually be the daughter of a mafia boss, and there were even stories that she was a dangerous person who would suddenly write incomprehensible things in her writing.

In the end, it's better not to get involved with her, and we don't know the reason why she doesn't talk... she's a woman with a lot of mystery.

By the way, when people ask why she doesn't speak, the answer is 'misfortune'.

There is a rumor around the school that she can curse you... but the truth is still unknown.

I only passed her in the hallway a few times and had no relationship with her because we were in different classes.

I never actively interacted with the new students.

So I was only half-convinced by the rumors and just responded with "Hee, is that true?”, whenever I heard about it, and I wasn't interested in it.

But after I heard her inner voice, I realized. I thought, we can never believe rumors.

It's true that she doesn't talk like what I heard in the rumors. But the beautiful voice I heard before was her "real voice", which meant that the bad rumors about her were all false.

The reason why she doesn't speak is unclear, but I have no doubt that the truth is that “Kurusu Rurina is just a bad communicator”.

I looked at her expression again to avoid being noticed.

She was still looking at me and I couldn’t see any change in her expression, but she was thinking about this and that in her head.

(...The central figure of the class next door. The one commonly referred to as 'Riajuu'. No, King Normie...and if I look closely, I can see his long eyelashes. I remember a girl in my class talking about him before. "He's really my type," she said...yes, I'm sure he's very popular... He is kind, good at studying, good at sports, and can treat everyone equally. An ideal type...I should watch him and learn from him...)

D-Don't talk too much... I'm embarrassed to be so highly praised.

I used to pretend to be asleep so as not to lose my expression, which became strange due to too much praise from her.

(...I want to talk to you when you wake up. First of all, I want to thank you. Should I say "thank you"? Or "thanks"? Yes, it seems okay)

No, what do you mean, "it's okay"? I don't know why you should thank me.

But still, Kurusu is that kind of person.

She still has the same expressionless and frightening face as before, but her innocent voice sounds honest and very beautiful.

Isn't she a beautiful woman, too?

When I get close to someone like that, I can smell the goodness in the air...

Huh. It's impossible not to notice.

She's so sweet, even though her face is expressionless.

What other "gap" is so effective just for me?

Kurusu looked at me and thought in her mind, "Is he awake?" and looked at my face.

"............"

(I know he is sleeping. I'm glad Sensei relies on me, so I'll keep an eye on him)

If she really is a bad person, I'll let it pass.

But now that I know her true heart, I feel guilty for deceiving such an innocent young girl.

There are many people who look good but have bad personalities and are full of lies...

I am an admirer of the 'real thing', not such fake things.

I thought that and sighed.

───This is useless.

I'll give in and talk to her. Before the guilt destroys me...

"Fuaahh. I slept well. Now let's see if I can wake up."

Even I could only laugh at my own appearance. I thought she was laughing at me for my bad acting, but when she saw me wake up, Kurusu was so surprised to see me that she froze.

And suddenly───.

(…He tried to run away. No)

"Eh...!?!?"

I was pushed onto the bed.

Kurusu fell on top of me with such force that she weighed me down.

"............"

Kurusu and I looked at each other without speaking.

The soft feeling on my chest and the tantalizing scent of clear water.

I was confused by her unexpected behavior.

Uh, no, how did that happen?

Normally, I don't move because I know what the person I'm facing is trying to do.

I can face her calmly and fight back if she tries to trick me or make fun of me.

But since she moved her body before I could think, I couldn't do anything.

Because of that, my heart was beating harder than ever before.

I'm not good at being attacked like this... think fast.

Then I covered my ears and tried to calm down.

But every time I did, my heart pounded harder as I thought about it.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was writing 'thank you' on the screen of her tablet and holding a chocolate candy in her hand as if to show her gratitude.

"...Umm. I don't understand any of this."

(I just wanted to say thank you... Did he get my message?)

"I have nothing for your gratitude... Or maybe I should apologize for this situation... Anyway, you don't have to hold me back, right?"

【No Escape】 (...because Sensei forbade it)

"It's okay. I won't run away, can I get up?"

I smiled at Kurusu, trying not to look annoyed. She replied with a slight tilt of her head.

【Really?】 (...you look tired)

"Really, really. I mean, we should do something with this position first."

【Why?】

"Why huh, there's a lot going on... and this position is embarrassing, isn't it?"

I think she finally sensed it from the uncomfortable expression on my face.

Kurusu also rolled her big eyes and backed away from me.

Then she wrote the word "sorry" in Japanese and turned her face toward me with the same blank expression as before.

But her real thoughts were...

(...I did it. I made a mistake...I will be hanged...)

She was very depressed.

Seeing Kurusu depressed, I couldn't get angry with her.

Instead, I wondered why she was so worried.

So I said, "I understand your concern for my physical condition. Thank you", I said with the intention of comforting her.

Kurusu bowed her head. Her expression didn't change, but she seemed to relax a little when she heard that.

I thought that was the end of the matter, but for some reason, she still refused my request.

"Is it okay if I get up?"

Kurusu showed me a tablet with the words【Don’t get up】 written on it.

"No, it's already dark outside. We have to go home, right?"

【Stupid question】 (...Don't insist. I forbid it...)

"Well, I've been very healthy, you know? I've been sleeping too much, and I can't sleep anymore."

(...He who tries hard is usually trying to deceive)

She looked at me suspiciously without any verbal communication.

I could tell that she was really sincere and just worried...

Just because Sensei asks you to do it doesn't mean you can't be flexible! On the other hand...

"Aren't we too close?"

【Silly question】 (...Keep watching. Don't miss the slightest change)

"I have a problem with that..."

I chuckled and looked away from her.

You're serious for nothing!

【The promise is absolute】

"You don't have to be so serious."

【Punishment】 (...Breaking a promise is a crime)

"I-I understand..."

I don't know why she's so stubborn and serious...?

I can tell from her sincere efforts that she's just trying to be serious, and that makes it even harder to see.

If she does this every day, it's no wonder she has a bad reputation. Her expressionless face will only make people misunderstand her even more.

When I think about it, everything good about her seems pointless.

Even though I know that now, to just let it pass without saying anything...huft.

I scratched my head and shrugged.

"You're Kurusu from the next class, right?

Kurusu rolled her eyes and nodded slightly.

She looked surprised that I recognized her.

"Do you come to the infirmary often?"

After a short pause, Kurusu simply wrote, 【While at school】 and showed it to me.

After that, we didn't speak and just kept exchanging glances.

Deep down, she was thinking, "I'm glad he knows me", but I couldn't feel that joy in her expression. It had only been a few minutes since we started talking, but it was enough for me to understand the reason why people felt uncomfortable with Kurusu.

I understand. It can be awkward, right?

The pace of the conversation had to be slowed down because the communication was written, and yet the text was short because she was trying to respond as quickly as possible.

Besides, there was a pause for her to choose what words to use; those who couldn't bear to wait for her answer would probably give up and leave before she finished.

"Hey, since we're both here, why don't we talk for a while? If you want."

───The silence was not awkward for me.

I guess I was moved by her awkward but honest personality.

Because I know her heart, that's why I said that.

She accepted my verbal expression, and with an indifferent expression on her face, she hurriedly wrote on her tablet.

【With pleasure】

She showed it to me... but she looked a bit uncomfortable, as if she wanted to say, "…Are you sure?”.

As I said before, she always thinks of others before herself.

Her action of holding me like that was also based on her concern, so... I think it's safe to at least get to know her.

"I'm glad to hear that. Anyway, I'm fine now, okay? Here, look at my muscles to prove it!"

(...Fufufu. Kaburagi-kun, you're funny)

The joke that didn't suit Sensei before seemed to be acceptable to Kurusu.

She had no expression on her face, but her mouth moved slightly.

The atmosphere relaxed a bit with that silly joke, and I decided to start a conversation with her.

"All right, let's start with the easy part. How about we introduce ourselves?"

【Okay. I'm good at this】 (Self-introductions... this makes me nervous. I'm not good at this, so what am I supposed to say...?)

What you write and what you think are different...

"Hmm... let's start with me. My name is Ritsu Kaburagi. My hobby is exercise, maybe? I like to move my body, not just in ball games. Then let's move on to Kurusu."

I said the hobby template I usually use and waited for Kurusu's response. She wrote something, erased it, and repeated it several times until she finally showed me her tablet.

【Rurina Kurusu. Likes to read】 (My real hobby is... wool crafts. People think it's childish. But reading... what are the latest books? I haven't read anything lately...)

"Oh, reading. It's a good hobby."

I nodded and smiled.

I mean──your hobby isn't reading, right! But fine, I'll let that go.

Okay. I'm not going to try to go any deeper into this.

I know you're wondering what to say, so I won't ask, "What kind of book do you read?”.

Yeah, but it's true. It takes a lot of courage to expose yourself to someone you don't know well...

I looked around and found her bag.

Looking at the bag at her feet, I found a small zipper open and a cute stuffed chick peeking out.

So that's it...it's one of her wool crafts.

That's right. To make it easier for her to speak honestly, I'll open up to her──.

"Oh, yes, Kurusu. I have a correction to my previous statement about my hobbies."

Kurusu looked at me as if to say, "Was it wrong?" and tilted her head.

"Oh, yes. It's just a little embarrassing. But please don't laugh, okay?"

I scratched at my cheek and looked at Kurusu with a little embarrassment. Seeing this, she gave a small nod.

"I usually gather with people in crowds. But actually, I don't like crowded places. I like to go to the forest, walk by the river, and other quiet places. Sitting on a chair and drinking tea is best for me.

(...Your hobbies are like Ojii-san's?)

"Haha. Now you think I'm like Ojii-san, right?" [TN: Ojii-san means grandfather, in case you're not otaku enough to know. Lol]

Kurusu was surprised and shook her head.

But I calmed her down by saying, “I'm not angry, it's okay”.

(...Communicative Ghost. As if he can see through me) [TN: It's kind of a compliment from the uncommunicative person to the very communicative person there. So they think they're so great that they call them ghosts. It's ridiculous tho lol]

"Anyone who talks about this hobby will get this impression. But what's wrong with that? You have a hobby you like, so it's worse if you try to hide it."

(...I'm really afraid to be honest too...but…)

I also watched her as she started to write while thinking about it.

When she finally finished writing, she hid her face with her tablet and showed 【My hobby, wool handicraft】.

"Coincidentally, is that what I saw in your bag?"

【I made it】 (...this is a chick I made recently. I worked hard to make it)

"Heee, it's so pretty and so cute. What else did you make?"

【Rabbit, cat and pig】 (...I was able to do it in a quiet atmosphere, so it was fun)

"This is good, right. Even I would pay for such a cute little thing."

When I said this, she took out another animal from her bag, different from the chick, and carefully handed it to me.

"Can I have it?"

【Yes】 (…A hedgehog. It looks like Kaburagi-kun)

"Wow. I'm very happy. Thank you!"

【No, no】 (I'm relieved...he looks happy)

I put the stuffed hedgehog down and looked at her.

Hmmm. It's really well made.

I'll keep it in my pocket. But do I really look like a hedgehog?

"If Kurusu gives it to me, I'll put it in my pocket. How about this? Isn't it cute with its face sticking out of the bag?"

(...It's very cute. I made it myself, but I want to pet it...)

I nodded and stared at the stuffed hedgehog sticking out of my bag.

The atmosphere somehow became warm and soft. I think it's a sign that she's been able to open up to herself a bit.

But then, as if to interrupt us, an announcement came: "Attention, school time is over”.

"Okay, time to get out of here..."

【Forbidden】 (...as Sensei said before)

"Kurusu? You don't have to hold my arm so tight. I mean, aren't you embarrassed?"

【Promise】 (Promise...to take care of you...and monitor you)

"Hahaha..."

I laughed bitterly.

Sensei, if you're going to ask her to do something, you should make it a little clearer.

She's too serious and rigid. I really don't know what to do...

While I was thinking about this and worrying about her, I heard the sound of footsteps coming from the hallway.

"Sorry I'm late!!!"

Sensei returned to the infirmary in a hurry.

"Sensei, you're late..."

"Well, I'm sorry. We talked about unimportant things for a long time──eh?"

Sensei made an awkward face as soon as her eyes met ours.

Then she looked at the already dark window and sighed.

"What is it, Sensei?"

"Kaburagi, did you, who just met her, want to assault her right away? What's with the education of young people these days... Why is Kurusu in your arms... Hufff".

【Nice. Kind】 (...The conversation was nice. And he was nice to me too)

"Nice and kind, huh...? Kaburagi... don't tell me?"

"No way! I mean, Kurusu, please choose the right words. Otherwise, this misunderstanding will escalate."

"…You, do you have a last will and testament?"

"You're so unobjective... this is really a misunderstanding, okay? We were just having a normal conversation."

"Hooo. What's normal about 'being alone in the infirmary with a beautiful woman on your arm'? There's something wrong with you. Aah!?"

"Ahh, you really don't want to hear me out..."

【For the first time】 (...I can talk about my hobbies for the first time)

"Hey, Kurusu? I'm already at my wit's end. If you don't improve your choice of words, Sensei will talk about this until tomorrow."

I sighed and gave a brief explanation of what had happened to the Sensei who was staring at me.

She shrugged her shoulders as if she finally understood what I was saying.

"Oh, well... that's fine then. Anyway, let's forget about what happened and I'll take you home since it's late."

"Oh, Saya-sensei. That's very kind of you!"

"It's dangerous for a cute girl to walk the streets at night. By the way, I don't care about you, Kaburagi. I hope that lecherous men like you get kicked to death by horses on the street."

"Uwaa... your eyes are even colder."

Kurusu, who could not follow the interaction between me and Sensei, could only watch and did not know what to do.

Sensei, who could not understand Kurusu's thoughts, urged her to let go of me.

"Then I'll go home. I'll explain more next time".

"That's okay. I'll scold you again later"

"Hey, hey"

I packed my things and left the infirmary.

As I put my hand on the door, I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned around.

【Thank you】

"No, thanks to you too. I can relax."

(...But it's over. I wanted to talk some more. It's been a long time for me...)

In response to my thanks, she still had the same blank expression on her face. But in her heart, she felt a little sad.

I know that feeling, but I can't just let it go... that's right.

I really am a bad person.

"Let's talk again. I often have things to do in the infirmary"

【Are you sure?】

"I won't lie. As you can see, Sensei is very angry with me. I'm sure we'll have a chance to meet again. So, I'll see you again."

Then she bowed her head several times, and...

(I'm so happy, I can't believe it. I wonder if he has so many friends because he is so nice. I admire him so much...)

She has this thought in her mind.

She is so innocent and honest, I can only smile at her.

────Please don't look at me like that.

I just made the best choice based on my own calculations. I'm not someone to be admired, even for being able to hear the voices of such innocent hearts.

It's not something as pure as ‘kindness’ or anything like that.

It was just a social movement or an image that I wanted to build...

It was painful to be looked at with such admiration.

I tried not to let such thoughts appear on my face.

"Okay, bye."

【Bye】 (I've never looked forward to school before... this is the first time)

"Fufufu, all you young people~"

I replied, "Shut up!", silently following Sensei's word and left the school.