Chapter 125 Are You Happy?

"Hello there, Gorgeous."

Cosette smiled as Maxen bent over to plant a kiss on her cheek before walking over to the chair across from her. His brows rose as soon as he plopped down, extending his arms on the table on the edge of the table. Excitement filled his eyes as if he had a good day, while the twinkle in her eyes was just as soft and elegant as usual.

"You seem to be in a great mood, Mister Devilsin." She pointed out, making the corner of his lips stretch even wider.

"You asked me for a date, so obviously, it made me happy." He looked around and chuckled. "Even booked the entire restaurant. How fancy."

"Don't lie. I keep track of you." Cosette chuckled with her lips closed. "And you're welcome."

"I'm not lying. You keep track of what I do, but not what truly happens in the scene. It was fucking hell." Maxen snapped his eyes at the server that approached their table, serving them a bottle of champagne. "Hmm… I see someone is rather in a good mood."

He set eyes back to her, chuckling teasingly. "Is there a merry occasion to pop champagne about?"

"Who said it was a happy occasion?" Cosette arched a brow and mouthed, 'thank you' to the server before the latter left. "I'm sad, Mister Devilsin."

"You're sad?" Maxen studied the smile on her face, unable to detect to back up her claims. "You're the happiest, saddest person I've seen."

He leaned forward with his arms against the table. "Tell me your sob story, baby. I'm all ears… and had stored quite a few tears for this day."

"Well." Cosette picked up the glass of champagne and raised it. "No sob story, just… pure sadness."

"Welcome to my world." He chuckled, picking up the glass of champagne right next to him. With a grin, he raised the glass over the table.

"Cheers to being sad together?"

"Cheers." Cosette clinked glasses with him, winking at him before taking a sip.

It had been a while since the two of them had shared dinner with just the two of them. Cosette had been busy since doing business with Asher Quinn, and Maxen… he was busy with things that were surely not legal.

Yet, despite the separation and rare exchange of messages, they felt like they just resumed where they left off the last time they were together. Nothing changed. He would humor her, and she would humor him back. They would laugh together and hint at each other, building up sexual tension between the two of them throughout the dinner.

Hence, the second they entered Maxen's car, they were already hungrily kissing each other. Unfortunately, he came all by himself. Thus, he had to drive instead of undressing her in the backseat.

"So, where are we going?" Cosette was leaning back on the front passenger seat, eyes on the driver's seat.

"I don't know, honestly. If I don't see any decent hotel in here, I'll take you somewhere secluded." He kept his eyes on the road. "Why? Scared now?"

The lights from the cars on the highway would flash on his face every once in a while, granting her the chance to see his beguiling beauty.

"You… have the face of a devil," she commented out of nowhere, watching the corner of his lips curl up into a cunning smirk.

"Keeping the tension now, are we?" he cast her a quick look, extending his hand on her thigh. He brushed her leg with his thumb, keeping his eyes on the road. "Do you think we will be in an accident if I pleasure you while driving?"

"Maybe?" she chuckled, gazing down at the hand that was touching her leg. "Or maybe not? I don't think I even care right now."

Maxen arched a brow and cast her another look. "What's with that tone? Are you dying now?"

"I was long dead inside, Mister Devilsin." Cosette reached for his hand, and much to his surprise, she slipped her fingers in between the gaps of his fingers. She smiled subtly, holding his hand as if they were lovers.

Maxen saw her smile when he cast her a side eye, and he took advantage of the darkness to smile in satisfaction. He wrapped his fingers around her hand, allowing her to hold him, which, surprisingly, they had never done in the past.

Their bodies were no stranger to another; they had seen each other's naked glory, touched each other, and kissed every part of each other's bodies. Funny thing, though, they never held hands. At least, they never held hands while not fucking.

"Lust is the foundation of our relationship," she spoke in a quiet voice after the prolonged silence. "But you always make me sad, Mister Devilsin."

"Were my other affairs making you sad?"

She shook her head. "I said, you make me sad, not your actions, but you. I don't care about how many women warm your bed."

"And what about me that makes you sad?" he asked out of plain curiosity, already used to her abrupt topics, which she would easily forget later, but never him. He had always thought about everything she would say because he was always listening and paying attention to her.

"You." She shrugged, raising their hands to her lips. "You were too used to pain that you ignore your happiness."

"That's bold of you to think I wasn't happy." He laughed shortly. "Not because I live in a much cruel world where I lose people every fucking day and put a hole in people's heads doesn't mean I was sad."

"So, are you saying you are happy with this life?"

This time, he remained silent for a very long time but did not think about an answer. Maxen already knew the answer even before she could ask. However, he stayed quiet because the person who was asking was none other than Cosette.

"I feel nothing," he answered after a long time. "This life… is the kind of life that sucks out any damn emotion a man has. It'll suck you dry until you feel nothing. People think the underground is filled with crazy people. It was, but they were wrong to think it was the majority."

Maxen paused and squeezed her hand mildly. "The underground isn't just filled with greedy crooks who weren't scared of a bullet. It was filled with empty shells. Therefore, they weren't scared of death."

"Once you're in, there's no way out. It'll suck you dry and empty your soul," he added under his breath. "Am I sad? Angry? Happy? Those are the questions that never matter because we can never escape even if we want to."

"We just keep going on and on until someone gets lucky and pulls the trigger to blow our heads." Maxen stopped at the red light and faced her squarely. He reached for her hand again, guiding it to the side of his lips to plant a kiss on the back of her hand whilst keeping his eyes on her.

"But if you ask me if I am happy right now… right this second, well perhaps, I am. I don't know happiness; I was never exposed to that. But the feeling I feel right now is the kind of drug I'd take any time of the day." He chuckled, almost cringing at his own sentiments. But they were facts. Being with her was akin to a drug that would give him a different kind of high. He was addicted.

"What about you?" he asked, looking at her straight in the eye. "Are you happy?"

"I just told you I was sad."

"Was."

Cosette pressed her lips into a thin line and gazed at his face as if she was etching it deep in her head lest she forgets how he looked. She cupped his face, fluttering her eyelashes ever so tenderly.

"What is happiness, Mister Devilsin?" she inquired in a quiet voice. "That word is never in my vocabulary — such an alien word. Isn't that the reason we're together? We know almost everything and had seen things most people wish to never witness in their lives."

"However, if happiness is wishing time will stop forever, I guess I am happy right now," she continued, smiling back at him subtly.

Honk! Honk!

Maxen and Cosette heard the loud honks coming from behind them as the green light was on. However, the two ignored the honks and curses as the other cars overtook theirs. Instead, they looked at each other with a subtle smile.

He slowly moved his face forward, watching her close her eyes. Since Cosette shut her eyes, she didn't notice how his eyes shone with gentleness and affection he never ever bore. But she felt his heart when their lips touched.

What Maxen thought was he had hidden his happiness perfectly when she shut her eyes. Little did he know, he failed to see the deep sadness underneath her eyelids. It wasn't him who hid things well, but Cosette. She had always hidden her feelings all her life that she was a pro and could get by any day, even when she was bleeding heavily inside.