Chapter 117

117 Yin Yang

The dark room slowly spun around Mack as he lay in a small, unfamiliar bed. Opposite Mack was the only door into the room, and a plain white wall clock hung above it. The clock itself was a blur, and he could barely tell what time it was.

But he could hear each second TICK as though it was right next to his ear.

Sometimes it felt like it was spinning way too fast, and other times it looked like it wasn’t even moving. But no matter what, the ticking remained the same beat over and over and over.

His entire body shivered and shook, but not because he was cold or afraid. Rather, he just couldn’t help it. His body needed something it didn’t have and it literally went insane on him. His muscles spasmed as his nerves randomly shot out signals.

It was simply trying to tell him that something was very wrong. It just didn’t know how. Or even why.

He pulled thick wool covers over his head because he believed he was shivering out of cold. But his body was so out of sync that it couldn’t even tell just how hot or cold he really was. Mack spent the next few hours shivering inside of his personal blanket sauna, and literally cooked in his own juices.

When he finally threw the blanked off of himself, his breaths were ragged and heavy, as though he had just finished a marathon. And his tshirt and pajamas stuck to his sweat-covered skin.

Although his body had finally stopped shivering, he was filled with so much energy that he ended up pacing up and down his small room. He took step after step completely mindlessly, hour after hour.

His eyes were glassy and dead, as though his mind had somehow switched off, and put his body on autopilot.

.....

It was later when he ended up bowled over in the corner. He gripped his stomach in absolute pain and dry-heaved painfully into the air. Unable to vomit anything out, he groaned as he collapsed on his side, physically and mentally exhausted.

At some point, he found himself back on his bed, somehow. He was sitting up and staring blankly at the door. The clock above it read 3am. Or maybe it was 9pm.

It didn’t really matter anyway.

He perked up slightly when the door opened, and his heart leaped out of his chest the moment Eva walked in. He smiled and reached out, but his arm felt so heavy, and it just fell back down.

She was just like how he last saw her, before she disappeared forever. Before she became some sort of digital demigod. She was wearing her favorite hoodie and jean combo. And her smile – it was somewhere between happy and sad.

Just like it always was.

“Hey you,” he said. “How’re you even here, anyway?”

“Same way you are, I guess,” Eva answered. “Maybe I’m dreaming of you while you’re dreaming of me.”

“Quit talking like you’re in a movie. Besides, that’s effin nonsense. You don’t sleep.”

She laughed briefly. Just like he remembered. She made short, cute noises, and covered her mouth. Every single time.

“Who says I need to sleep to dream?” she asked. “Besides, how do you know you’re asleep yourself?”

“Now you’re not even makin’ any damn sense. Clearly, I’m fucked. Because I fucked up. Again.”

He fell down on his side and buried his head in his pillow with a groan.

Sadness spread further across Eva’s face. She walked up to the foot of his bed, and laid her hands on the footbard.

“How many times did I tell you to face your demons head on?” she asked.

“Too many times,” he responded.

“Not enough times.”

“Why’re you even here?”

“‘Coz you didn’t listen.”

“Argh! Fuck off!”

Mack shot up in the bed in anger and irritation at Eva, but when he looked, she was gone. The room was bare just like it was moments ago.

“Come back,” he said weakly. “I didn’t mean to yell. Didn’t mean to drive you away...”

He fell back on his pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“I didn’t mean to keep fucking up like I did. But I get it now, yannow? Been running from myself for way too long. You were there and you were perfect and I thought how could someone like you even look at someone like me. I thought I didn’t deserve shit. So I ran some more.”

His eyes reddened as his tears pooled up. A heavy THUMP beat in his chest, as though his heart fell through. He couldn’t help but grasp at his chest, as though to prove it was still there.

“You kept running after me, trying to get me to stop and breathe and look and chill. You gave me so many chances, but all I did was throw them all away. I shoulda listened. Shoulda been there for you like you were for me.

“Instead, I wasted what we had. I ended up being stuck in this shithole of a life, while you’re out there conquering the fuckin’ galaxy.”

Tears fell freely from his eyes, rolled down his face, and onto his pillow, dampening it. From nowhere, he felt fingers running through his hair.

At first he was alarmed, but then he heard soft humming near him.

Mack stopped sniffling and looked up at Eva, who was sitting on the nightstand next to his bed. She ran her fingers through his hair, just like she used to. At least, whenever he felt down and needed someone.

She did this for him even when he was sick, or being a spoiled little punk, or just plain grumpy. It always made him feel alright again. Like everything was going to be okay.

“I’m glad you came back,” he muttered.

“I can’t stay,” she said softly.

“I know. I just wanna say I’m sorry. You’re always taking care of me, even though I never took care of you. Hell, you’re doing it now, and you’re not even here.”

He wiped his nose and did his best to hold back more tears, but ultimately failed.

“It’s not fair to you,” he continued. “But I promise once I’m back I’ll do my best to take care of you, alright? I’ll... I’ll even ask Jackson Stone if he can help. Maybe he can fire up the game somehow, and maybe I’ll get transported to you, and we can... we can be together again. And I can look out for you.”

Eva sighed and kneeled down on the floor next to the bed. She looked him right in his eyes and smiled at him.

“Wanna make me happy?” she said. “How ’bout you start taking care of yourself?”

She then leaned forward and kissed him deeply on his lips.

He felt her warmth and softness on his.

When he opened his eyes to look at her, it was morning. The room was completely empty, save for a sliver of light that broke through between the curtains.

Every muscle in his body ached, and every joint felt dry. Despite having just woken up, he still felt completely exhausted. He was so weak that he couldn’t even lift himself from the bed.

Besides that, his mind finally felt clear. Or at least, clearer than it had been for months.

He was about to close his eyes to try to get more sleep when there was a knock on his door. His heart skipped a beat, hoping it was Eva. But instead a nurse walked in with a tray in her hands. She smiled at him when she saw that he was awake.

Her voice was bright and cheery, and for some reason, Mack found it comforting.

“Mister Matthews, good morning!” she said. “It’s time for your vitamins again. How are you today?”

Mack tried to speak, but his throat was completely dry and raspy. The only noises that came out were strained wheezes and broken notes.

The nurse quickly set her tray down on the nightstand and gave him a bottle of water. He tried to grasp at it, but his arm immediately fell after.

“Wow, you’re just all sorts of out of it, huh?” she asked.

He could only grin in response. With that, she carefully tipped some of the water into his mouth, which he drank with as much gusto as he could. He had gotten through half of it before she stopped.

After a moment, he was able to croak out some thoughts.

“Thanks,” he said. “How long? Stuff hazy, clear now.”

The nurse sat on the bed next to him and looked him over as the two of them spoke. She peeled back his eyelids and checked his retinas, felt for his pulse and counted it out, and even took his temperature.

“You’ve been here three weeks now,” she replied. “You did a number on your system, but you got through it like a champ. You said things are clearer?”

“At least brighter,” he replied.

“Well it should mostly be outta your system by now. We’ll run a few more checks today or tomorrow, so we can get you back home, alright?”

She then handed him a small cup full of pills, which he slowly took and dumped into his mouth. He also found the strength to pick up the bottle of water and drink out of it.

“Thanks for looking out,” he said. “If I yelled at you at all, while I was all messed up, I’m sorry. I can be a dick like that.”

She laughed as she sat up and collected her tray and tossed the cup and empty bottle into the trash.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “It’s not your fault. Besides, you’re not the first addict in here to yell at me. Glad to see you’re getting better, though.”

She mussed up his hair playfully, then walked towards the door.

“Hey wait! What’s your name?”

~

Eva sat cross-legged in the middle of her room while she meditated. Or something like meditating.

Since she never needed to sleep, she instead used her personal downtime to further understand her own body. She found that she could explore it, just like she could explore her piloting core using a Promethean Merge.

And her understanding became clearer and clearer with each passing cycle.

She felt her blood flow all throughout her veins. She could feel when it transported oxygen into her lungs, and energy into her systems. Blood flowed around her bruises and sore muscles as they worked to stitch them back to proper working order.

Because her blood was ubiquitous all over her body, it was the first ‘system’ she decided to truly concentrate on. She followed it to every end of her body, and became familiar with how it stored and passed energy all throughout.

She poured extra energy into her blood vessels, which repaired her damaged muscles with slightly higher efficiency and speed. The bruises on her skin visibly reduced with each moment that passed.

So I can speed up my regen! My stamina determines how much energy I can intake at any given time, and I can use that energy to speed up whatever systems I want!

Eva then pulled back that extra energy, and instead focused on the welts on her skin. They too began to reduce with speed as her skin restitched itself to be slightly tougher and more resilient.

She let go, breathed deep and let out a smile. Then, she lowered her overall energy output down across all her systems, then pumped her Blood Repair to the absolute maximum.

.....

Her body shuddered with the sudden shift in energy. All her bruises, welts, cuts, everything – all began to heal at an incredibly rapid pace. Bruises drew inward and completely disappeared. Welts flattened out and vanished. Cuts simply scabbed over and closed up within a few scant moments.

But every second she spent doing this was incredibly taxing. She burned through an incredible amount of energy, and it cost her a great deal of stamina simply to maintain control. In fact, her stamina also drained at an incredible rate.

The results were astounding, however. After a minute or so of intense self-repair, Eva’s body was back to full health. All of the damage she had suffered had been healed. Her muscles were strengthened, and her skin was toughened.

With a ridiculous, boisterous laugh, Eva fell backwards onto the floor out of stamina, but completely full of joy. And she could even feel her endorphins being carried all throughout her body. She literally felt joy wash over her.

With breaths hot and heavy, she imagined the possibilities granted by her newfound awareness.