CH 7

t/n: I’m keeping the onomaetopia in korean pronunciation since it’s really hard to find perfect english substitutes, it should be self-explanatory right? ><

Thanks to the vacation I had gotten for the first time in three years, I woke up a little late and entered the building that I’ve been getting used to for the past three days. The manager wasn’t the only one waiting for me. As I stared intently at Hansoo standing next to me, he held out something in his hand to me with a face as nervous as the manager. 

“Take it. I thought you would need it so I bought it as soon as I got out of class.”

I looked carefully as he talked in a serious tone, but I couldn’t figure out why. Why are you giving me Cheongsimhwan?

And then, the manager stepped forward.

“I don’t know what your religion is, so I brought everything.” 

Then he held out a cross necklace, a Catholic rosary, and Buddhist prayer beads. I opened my mouth while my eyes gazed alternating between the two.

“I don’t need any props.”

Should I have told them in advance? I felt a little sorry that Hansoo even skipped class. I decided to bring the props just in case, and I stuffed them in my back pocket. But the expressions of the two stiffened by what I said.

“…Hm?”

After a long time, the manager made a strange noise, and Hansoo added. “Are you a psychopath?”

What are you talking about? Not knowing the meaning of that word, I just stared at the two.

The manager came to his senses and scolded Hansoo. “What are you talking about? Haha, he must have been kidding because you weren’t nervous at all.”

…So it was a curse word. Tsk, when I glanced at Hansoo, he flinched and shook his shoulders. 

“S-sorry.”

Was it an English curse? I was squinting and thinking, but the manager took out the folded paper from his pocket, saying, “Ah!”

“I’ve been thinking about a few aliases.”

Then, there were more than 100 names written on the paper he unfolded. Giving me paper with anticipating eyes, he put his hands together, eager to read them all one by one from the beginning. 

“Tell me what you like. Firstly, Lee Taemin…”

“Yes, that one.”

“Hm?”

“I’ll go with Lee Taemin.” 

At the moment, an unknown frustration spread over the manager’s face, but honestly, the name was not very important.

I reminded him of the time to turn his attention away.

“Don’t we have to go?”

Fortunately, it worked, so he quickly changed his expression and put Hansoo’s Cheongsimhwan in his mouth after putting one hand over his heart. 

“Okay, let’s go!”

Squeak. I followed the manager inside with the door closing behind me. The manager’s three sets of religious items were left in Hansoo’s hands as he cheered.

Inside, the manager greeted the first two people we saw. There were two men sitting on chairs behind the long desk who seemed to be in their mid-40s and early 30s. The man in his 40s was wearing casual clothes, and the man in his early 30s was wearing a suit. The elder man smiled and greeted the manager, but a man in his 30s with an angular jaw and a firm physique shook hands with the manager’s hands with an annoyed expression.

The room was bigger than expected, and there was a large black window with a door behind the two people sitting opposite. It was like a window in a police interrogation room that you could commonly see on TV. 

Don’t tell me there’s really someone in there.

As I looked around the room, the manager greeted the people and stepped back, then a man in his 40s pointed to an area in the room and instructed me to stand in that position. Standing in the center opposite the two, a man in his 40s activated the camera on the desk.

“Look at the camera and introduce yourself first.”

“Lee Taemin. 26 years old.” 

“…”

“Is that all?”

He asked, raising his eyes from the camera viewfinder, and turned his head to the person next to me with a ‘hmm’ sound at my nod. Then, a man in his 30s, who looked somewhat tired, stared at me, then suddenly glanced at the black window behind him and gave out a hardened voice.

“Mr. Lee Taemin. What’s with that face?” 

Before I even realized he was pointing to my injured lip, a firm voice followed.

“You are a commodity to us. But if the product someone wants to buy already has flaws, who will buy it?”

Embarrassed by his words, the manager stepped forward.

“Ah, Chief Park, that wound is…” 

Chief Park? Ah, the person who cried on the phone because of his boss. As I recalled that memory, the said-person ordered the manager in an overbearing voice.

“Zjcjufg Jtbl, rafq yjmx. Off Kjfwlc. Gb sbe tjnf jcsatlcu ab rjs? Qbeiv sbe yes rbwf kbgw-fjafc ogela?”

“Rb.”

Lf ogbkcfv ja ws jcrkfg jcv kjnfv tlr tjcv. 

“Po sbe xcbk, qifjrf ifjnf.”

“…”

“Jjc’a sbe ecvfgrajcv tewjc ijcuejuf? Ktf lcafgnlfk lr bnfg, rb qifjrf ifjnf.”

Pcrafjv bo wbnlcu, P yfmjwf mbcafwqijalnf jcv ibbxfv yjmx ja atf wjcjufg ktb kjr jybea ab rafq obgkjgv jujlc, jcv yibmxfv tlw klat tlr tjcv. P vlvc’a atlcx P kbeiv gfjiis tjnf ab erf atf qgbqr qgfqjgfv. P abbx j rafq obgkjgv, gfwfwyfglcu bcf atlcu atf wjcjufg tjv rjlv. 

– You just need to show your genuine self. –

“I don’t want to.”

“… Eh?”

I looked at the man in his 30s, who raised his eyes in surprise at my words, expressionlessly and slowly took what I had prepared out of my back pocket. 

“Are your ears clogged? I said I don’t want to.”

Whing~ Chaeng.

A short sound of wind rose from my fingertips. It was not a loud sound, but it drew everyone’s attention in the suddenly silent room.

Tak. 

It was only a few seconds before the silver blade was fully folded and revealed, but I know it must have shone splendidly because of its fast winding. It had always been like that. In the past, it was the best way to threaten my opponent, and all the students in school uniforms gave their wallets trembling at my hand gestures. This was a Balisong, also known as a butterfly knife. My opponent was now turned into an interviewer in a suit, but his eyes when he saw a knife were no different from the high school students I used to deal with.

“Oh my god you brought a knife in…”

He tilted his upper body back and let out a nervous cry. Then when I approached him, he opened his eyes wide.

“H-hey, Lee Taemin-ssi…” 

“It’s a replica, right?”

I stopped right in front of the table, and turned the knife once again.

Chaeng, chaeng.

After confirming that Chief Park’s gaze was stiff due to the brief swishing sound, I spoke again. 

“Actually, I didn’t really want to do it. It’s just that that uncle kept coming and bothering me to do an interview or something and it was annoying so I came. But I barely made time to come, and you’re telling me to leave after asking my name?”

“Wait, then that’s…”

Kwang!

When the tip of the knife was slammed down on the table, the table shook with a loud sound. At the same time, Chief Park’s mouth made a short groaning sound. 

“Heuk!”

“So doesn’t that suck?”

Mumbling, I bowed my upper body and brought my face close to him. When there was only a few centimeters between us, he hurriedly opened his mouth, pushing his chair back.

“You- are you threatening me right now? To pass the interview like that…” 

“I don’t care about the interview. I told you I’m in a bad mood.”

I grabbed him by the collar so he couldn’t back down any further. He was panting because he was suffocated by my strong grip, but I purposely squeezed harder.

“And this is what threatening looks like.”

I heard the manager’s voice rushing to me from behind, and I could feel the cameraman standing next to me, but I focused on Chief Park. And I whispered so that only he could hear. 

“Is your wife pretty?”

I raised my other hand and slowly traced his cheek with the tip of my fingers. I muttered expressionlessly as I looked into his eyes that couldn’t open any wider.

“Then remind her not to open the door.”

“?” 

“When packages are delivered to your house.”

Chief Park’s body immediately stiffened by the voice that flowed out with a low laugh.

“W-what does that m…”

When he muttered with a burst of breath, I backed away from him and curved my lips. 

“You didn’t know? I’m a delivery man.”

“!”

Someone pulled my arm with the rattling sound of the desk being pushed.

“T-Taemin ah! What are you doing right now?” 

The manager ran in surprise and took me off from Chief Park. Thanks to him, when my hand let go, Chief Park leaned his weak body against the back of the chair and stared blankly to the table. His eyes were still on the knife on the table, but he looked up at me with appalled eyes, as if he had come to his senses.

“L-look. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but if you touch my wife…”

“I’m sorry.”

I bowed my head and deliberately lowered my eyes. The sudden word made the surroundings quiet. The man in his 40s who had stood up and tried to block Chief Park, and the manager who tried to pull me back, looked back at me, looked at me suspiciously. I tried not to make eye contact with them and deliberately spoke slowly as if I was timid. I had watched Myeongshin’s way of mumbling over and over again last night. The scene where he was begging for forgiveness for a minute was now back in my mind. 

“Really… I’m sorry. Sometimes, without realizing it, ah… So, there are times when I just get angry and scream like it’s not myself. I scream senselessly and when I pull myself together… All the people I knew in front of me looked at me with fear. Well… I’d like to say that wasn’t my intention, but the people who misunderstood my personality as being intimidating and losing my temper at everyone… But, but, that’s really not me. It wasn’t me who got mad at you for a moment… So that’s really not my real self.”

Only my small voice echoed through the room. It wasn’t part of the direction that I had to bow my head but I thought I might be caught muttering only with my mouth if I made eye contact. Fortunately, the people who were bewildered by the sudden change seemed to realize that I was just acting. Otherwise, if they had asked to see my acting from the beginning, my sloppy acting skills would have only ended up as a joke.

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone. So… please don’t look at me with those eyes.”

After finishing the last line, I slowly raised my eyes. I saw the uncle in his 40s who still looked blank, and Chief Park who looked serious. At the same time, I heard the manager’s muttering voice next to me. 

“The Wednesday-Thursday drama that aired last week… Song Yoohan’s apology scene.”

When I turned my head, I saw the manager staring at me. With a confused look, he grabbed my arm and walked towards Chief Park, who took a step back.

“Didn’t you know?”

Then, Chief Park muttered “Ah, that” and nodded. He still looked stiff, but when he realized the situation, he relaxed his face with a dry cough. 

“Hmm, ah so… Well, you were acting just now?”

Instead of replying , I stepped forward. Seeing that, Chief Park’s thick shoulders trembled for a moment, but I ignored it and pulled the knife from the table and stepped back.

“If you were startled, I apologise.”

When I spoke politely, Chief Park averted my gaze and chuckled awkwardly. 

“Well, I wasn’t that startled.”

His eyes were wet when he spoke.

“But you should’ve told me beforehand…”

When he came to his senses, he was a little angry, but just as he was about to raise his voice, a phone suddenly rang. It was Chief Park’s. When he took out his cell phone, he looked surprised for a moment when he saw the name on the screen, glanced behind him, and carefully answered the phone. 

“…Yes…yes…Eh?”

It seems that the other party had a very high status, he was talking respectfully as he suddenly turned his head to look at me with a surprised voice.

“Well, I think so too but…”

He kept looking at me, to the point that I doubted they were talking about me, but he turned away and nodded slightly. 

“Let’s do that first and wait and see.”

Click. When he hung up, he looked at the table for a moment and called the manager.

“Manager Choi.”

The manager stepped forward with a nervous expression. 

“Yes.”

“Let’s do one month for now.”

I didn’t understand what that ‘one month’ meant, but I saw the surprise spread over the manager’s face. At least it didn’t seem to be a bad thing, and Chief Park’s explanation that followed was beyond my expectations.

“You’ll hear from Manager Choi in detail later, but we’ll go with a one-month contract. Well, I made the decision after seeing you today, but if there’s no more impressive development after a month, the contract will be terminated.” 

I had to reply to him, but I felt a little puzzled. Did what I did really work? However, regardless of my question, Chief Park quickly said what he had to say while looking at the camera monitor next to him.

“Your face looks better on screen than in person. Hmm… I think you’ll look good after some grooming and make up…”

He muttered to himself and got up from his seat and looked at the manager.

“You can leave now. So…” 

He cleared his throat when he saw the knife still in my hand with a slightly fearful gaze.

“Let’s put that knife away now.”

I came to my senses by his words and put the knife I held in my hand for the first time since I was a teenager into my pocket. When I became empty-handed five years ago, I entered a goshiwon with only a few clothes. I later discovered this knife in my winter coat. When I was younger, I used to brandish the fancy-looking knife around and steal money from kids my age. When I started working at the loan company, I switched to a heavier one and I couldn’t even remember where that was, but it happened to be inside the inner pocket of the winter jumper I brought out.

When I found it again, I didn’t throw it away because I was lazy and busy. I remembered before I came out for the interview that, since I didn’t think that I would use it again, I had thrown it into the bottom of my only luggage. 

It was the only thing left that was evidence of my old self. I didn’t think I would really use it.

“The apology back then was copied from the drama, but where did you get the acting part with the knife from?”

Chief Park added, asking questions as if he was curious.

“Did you practise moving the knife on purpose?” 

I was about to answer “no”, but the manager who was next to me grabbed my arm and stepped forward.

“Of course! He practised it on purpose. Right, Taemin ah?”

“…”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. That’s what they say.” 

I didn’t say anything, but the manager replied as though he heard an auditory hallucination, and then a smile spread over Chief Park’s face.

“Right? I thought that knife swing was very real… If that was just acting, then those words were all just a part of the act right?”

What is? I raised my eyes. The manager looked at me, and Chief Park asked casually.

“That thing, you said you were a delivery guy… Haha, it’s not true, is it?” 

“It’s true.”

“…”

“I do delivery work.”

Looking at Chief Park, who suddenly turned pale like plaster, the manager grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the door. Before the door closed, I could see Chief Park pressing his cell phone with his trembling hands and a crying voice sounded. 

“Darling! Don’t accept any packages!”

———

A one-month contract. There was a contract waiting for my signature in front of me, but I wasn’t particularly excited. I was more lazy to read the small letters in the long wall of text. Anyway, the content was all restrictions on things that should not be done. Still, this was probably a good thing to achieve especially since I wasn’t even ready to become a celebrity, but honestly, I didn’t have a good feeling. Although, Hansoo and the manager looked excited.

“Wah~ Even the kids at the acting academy have a hard time passing the interview, but you signed the contract right away!! That’s amazing!” 

“Haha~ I was shocked too. Ah, my heart is still beating so fast. When Chief Park told him to go out, I thought it was over. Who would have thought that Taemin would prepare that?!! ”

“Aish, I should have come to watch too! Manager-nim, how was it? Eh?”

“Ahh, it was great at first. Taemin suddenly pulled out a knife…”

As the manager jumped up from his seat and tried to reenact, I stood up because I thought it was going to last for a long time. Then he stopped talking and looked back at me. 

“Where are you going?”

Bathroom. When I was about to turn around, he suddenly complimented me.

“You did a good job today.”

I was about to answer “Not really” but I shut my mouth. He had praised me, but I saw a complicated glint in his eyes. It was exactly the same as when he realised I was acting in front of Chief Park. 

“When you initially acted with the knife, it was really good. I was also surprised.”

Then the problem is the second part. I guessed that, but he also opened his mouth to compliment me.

“You did well for the second part too.”

“…” 

“That’s a good impersonation.”

Impersonation. I looked at the manager quietly, he added in a calm tone.

“Because it’s your first time, I can accept it, but acting isn’t about imitating other people like that.”

“…” 

If you’re going to keep doing that, then I can’t look after you.”

“…”

I opened my mouth for the first time in a long time as I saw his stubborn eyes. Yeah, it won’t work on this person. Well, I don’t intend to do it too much either.

“I have no intention of imitating Myeongshin. I’ll do my best.” 

When I answered, the manager’s eyes smiled again.

“Right, that’s how it should be. Hahaha~ Shall we go out for a group dinner?”